The Secret Keeper
by werewolf2k
Summary: AU What if Sirius Black had been the Potter's secret keeper? What if Sirius' life was now linked to Voldemort's death or survival?
1. Chapter 1

A/N: A repost of chapter 1 with a massive thanks to Ambush99 for her fantastic betaing skills.

 **The Secret Keeper**

 **Chapter 1**

 **31st October 1994**

The 31st October. Halloween. A day of celebration both in the muggle and wizarding worlds. But in the large cottage, with roses tracing up the old stone walls in Godric's Hollow, it was not the case. Sure, they celebrated it for the sake of their fourteen year old son, Harry. But it always felt forced; as the day marked the disappearance of two of his greatest friends, one of whom he considered his brother. He had never believed any of the vicious rumours and theories. He knew his brother; he knew Sirius would never do that.

Black. A name people associated with darks wizards, death eaters in more recent times. A fact people were basing their bullshit theories on. That Sirius Black was a death eater and that was his way to betray Lily, Harry and himself, but Peter Pettigrew had prevented it at the cost of his own life. He pondered if anyone had been there when his friend had finally broken down about how wretched his life at home had been. How he was sure his family were going to serve him up to Lord Voldemort and he couldn't do it as it stood for every Sirius had stood against. How his friend was prepared to run away and live his life as muggle.

 _Flashback_

 _"Padfoot, mate you haven't packed anything. You do realise the train leaves tomorrow first thing," James said playfully as he observed the state of his friend's bed and surrounding area._

 _Sirius stood, distracted, his head resting against the window. "It doesn't matter mate," he said softly. "I'm not coming back."_

 _"Nice one mate. I know you hate packing, but it's not that bad."_

 _Sirius shook his head sadly. He wished that, like his friend, packing was the most of his concerns. "I know, but I'm still not coming back. I wish I could but I can't."_

 _"I thought Hogwarts was your escape."_

 _"It was. God I'm going to miss this place. I'm going to miss the Marauders. I'm going to miss Quidditch. I'm going to miss." He stopped and rubbed his face for a moment. "I'm going to miss magic."_

 _"Sirius what the hell is going on!? I know you hate your family but you'll be seventeen in November. You've hung on this long; you can survive a bit longer. You will obviously be staying at mine for some of it. It'll be September before you know it."_

 _"I won't make it to September. I'm going to run away before the Hogwarts express. I'm, I've got to live as a muggle, they won't look for me there. I've saved some money, not a lot, but enough. Fuck, what I don't have, I can buy it." He sunk down, his back against the wall, and rested his head on his knees._

 _"Padfoot, what the hell is going on? Surely it can't be that bad? What is so bad you have to exclude yourself? To go into hiding?"_

 _"Lord Voldemort!"_

 _"What?!"_

 _"My family are going to offer me to his service," Sirius said dryly._

 _"And if you refuse?"_

 _"They'll kill me," Sirius replied in a hollow voice._

 _James looked at his friend. "They've used unforgivables in the past haven't they?" He watched his friend look away. "Shit Sirius, I didn't know."_

 _"No one did. You're the first person I've told. See why I have to do it now. I don't want be a death eater, it stands for everything I'm against. I would rather die than become one." He stopped and looked out of the window again. At the grounds that had brought him so much joy and freedom over the last five years. Grounds, friends he would never see again. "But I don't want to die," he finished in a broken almost childlike voice._

 _James sat down next to the sunken form. A person who he considered his brother. "You're not going to. Well not now anyway. You'll either die when you're ancient surrounded by your numerous grandchildren or we'll die side by side in combat against him. I know you'll never join him."_

 _Sirius choked out a hollow laugh. "I love the sentiment but this is far more complicated than-"_

 _"Working out how to turn animagi so we can help our friend with a 'furry problem' every full moon. I don't mean to trivialise your issue, but we've dealt with 'complicated' before. Plus, I need you mate. Don't get me wrong, Remus and Peter are great, but between the library and the fandom..." James broke off for a moment. "Who else am I going to blame everything on?"_

 _"So, what's your wonderful plan?"_

 _"You come and live with us."_

 _End flashback_

From there he had devised an elaborate plan. They would both travel in the muggle way and meet at Paddington a few days after the end of term. James would take all of Sirius' stuff in his trunk, and they'd take stuff from lost property to make up Sirius' trunk. They had met as agreed at Paddington. After he'd seen Sirius' battered but alive form he knew he'd made the right decision. And that is how, after all of these years, after all of the rumours spread, he knew his friend had been innocent. Shaking his head sadly, deep down he knew his brother was dead. He knew Sirius had paid the ultimate price as secret keeper and had died protecting them. What had happened to Peter he did not know, but he knew one thing for certain, Sirius Black did not betray them and he wasn't a death eater.

A knock at the door pulled him out of his thoughts. He glanced at his watch. It was slightly late for trick or treaters but nothing too bad.

"I'll get it," James called out as he walked to the door. He swung the door open - he was not expecting the figure on the other side. Dark hair down past the elbows, matted with blood, dirt and God knows what else. The body was like a skeleton, broken and bruised skin pulled tightly over each bone. The face was covered in dried blood and dirt, the skin waxy with a greyish tinge. The eyes seemed to sink into their sockets, but they were unmistakable nonetheless.

"Sirius!" James exclaimed as he caught the falling figure. "Sirius! Padfoot, oh Merlin. Sirius mate."


	2. Chapter 2

The Secret Keeper Ch2 proofread

 **Chapter 2**

He half carried, half dragged his friend to the sofa in the corner of their living room. "Sirius," James almost whispered as he gently shook his friend's shoulders. "Come on mate. Please Padfoot, don't do this to me!"

"Prongs?"

"Oh thank Merlin!" James exclaimed as he hugged his best friend. "It's going to be okay mate. Padfoot, we'll get you to St. Mungo's. We'll sort everything out. I promise you Sirius, everything is going to be okay. Everything is going to be fine."

"No, Hogwarts."

"What?! Sirius, you are hurt-"

"You need to go to Hogwarts and warn Dumbledore. Please." Sirius stopped for moment as he tried to catch his breath. "The Triwizard Cup. Harry, he's in danger."

"Padfoot? I don't understand!"

"Please. Warn Dumbledore. Harry's in danger. The Triwizard Cup. Please James, just go. You have to warn Dumbledore. You have to stop it. Voldemort is growing in strength."

"Lily!" James shouted. "We will do, but we need to get you to St. Mungo's as well."

"No!" Sirius exclaimed before ending in a coughing fit. He took several shaky gasps before he could continue. "Please mate, go to Hogwarts and warn Dumbledore."

"I don't understand Sirius. Padfoot, you're hurt, you need to go to St. Mungo's." James swallowed a couple of times, as he hoped the healers would be good enough to heal what he could only imagine were numerous injuries.

"James," Sirius pleaded as tears made streaks down his battered face. "Forget me, I don't matter. You need to stop this. I don't know who to trust anymore, but I trust you and I know not to trust Peter."

Hearing her husband's cry, Lily hurried into the living room. It took her a moment to know how to react. Her husband was crouched down, holding a, what she could only describe as, a dead man. But the name he repeatedly called and the way the man somehow managed to hold himself, she found herself sitting down next to him. "Sirius," she said softly, placing a hand on his shoulder as she waited patiently for a response. She brushed his forehead, wincing as she felt the dried blood. She wondered how many other injuries were hidden beneath the grime. She could feel the emotional and physical pain radiating off him. "Sirius," she repeated when he finally looked at her. She tried not to flinch at the haunted eyes, tried not to think of what had happened to him over those thirteen years. "We'll go to Hogwarts," she said gently as she tried to throw James a look.

"You promise," Sirius said breathlessly.

Lily tried to shoot her husband another furious glance. "Yes, we'll take floo powder there."

"Lily?" James exclaimed.

"James, we need to go to Hogwarts," Lily said calmly. In the days afterwards she never knew how she managed to remain so calm. "You two can go first."

"No, Lily you need to," Sirius almost whispered. "You need to warn Dumbledore."

"Okay, I'll go first," she replied as she ran a finger down his damaged cheek.

"Lily?" James called again.

"James, we are going to Hogwarts," she replied in the strongest voice she could muster. Taking a handful of floo powder she threw it into the fire and stepped in. "Hogwarts!"

James pulled the semi-conscious, limp person to his side. "Come on mate, let's go back to school," he said with a forced smile.

"Prongs, if I die,"

"Padfoot, you're not going to die."

"Please mate, listen to me," Sirius said weakly. "If I die, let Dumbledore have my memories."

"That's not going to happen," James replied holding back the tears.

"Forget me, James. You need to protect Harry and you need to stop Voldemort. Please, promise me you will."

"I will, and I'll do it with you at my side," James said thickly as he stepped into the fire. "Hogwarts!" he yelled. As he watched various fireplaces fly past, he was vaguely aware of Sirius becoming completely limp against him. He hoped against everything that he wouldn't have to fulfil his friend's last request. He staggered into the familiar office; an office he'd been summoned to numerous times in the past with Sirius. "Where's Dumbledore?" he asked, carefully lying his friend on the rug beside the fire. "Lily, this was a mistake. He's really badly hurt. He needs to go to St. Mungo's!"

"James, you heard what he said. Harry's in danger and we need to be in Hogwarts."

"I know but-"

"He also said Peter was alive and we could not trust him," Lily replied, cutting her husband off. "We don't know if it's going to back to what it was before. We can trust Dumbledore. He'll know what to do."

"He's not a healer though," James replied sadly, looking at his friend who was close to death.

"Madam Pomfrey is." Without another word, she turned and ran out of the study, hoping her words rang true. James had been utterly devastated when Sirius had disappeared fourteen years ago. She hurried down familiar corridors, hoping it wouldn't take long before she found Dumbledore or someone who knew where he was. Rounding a corner she nearly ran headlong into Professor McGonagall. "Sorry," she stammered, feeling as though she was still a student.

"Mrs. Potter? What are you doing here? How did the news already reach you?"

Lily felt her knees go weak. "Oh god, it's happened, hasn't it? Harry's been entered into the Triwizard competition! How did it happen?! I thought it was safe?!"

"Lily," Dumbledore said, stepping forward for the first time. "How did you find out?"

"Sirius. Sirius tried to warn us."

"Sirius Black?" Professor McGonagall questioned with a frown.

"Yes, he's..." Lily paused for a moment, hoping what she was thinking hadn't happened. It would devastate her; she didn't even want to begin to think of what it would do to James. "He's badly hurt, really badly hurt."

Dumbledore nodded, turning to Professor McGonagall. "Get Madam Pomfrey to meet us in my study." Without another word he started off, with increasingly longer strides. "What happened?"

"I don't know exactly. James called, I walked into the living room and he was there with Sirius. He - he looked dead," Lily replied, biting her lip as tears threatened. "Sirius kept repeating that we needed to warn you, and Harry was in danger."

"Indeed," Dumbledore replied, increasing his pace even further. "Did he say anything else?"

"Yes, Voldemort was getting stronger and Peter was alive and we couldn't trust him."

Dumbledore nodded. "Chocolate bombs." Without a further word he swept up the stairs into his study.

James remained as Lily had left him; sat, his hand on Sirius' shoulder, talking to him. "James," she said softly.

James looked up slowly. His eyes travelled between the two people standing before him. "What more evidence do you need?" he said bitterly, his free hand sweeping over Sirius' body. "Like he did this to himself! You can't even keep my son safe! What kind of fucking wizard are you?!"

"James!" Lily exclaimed.

Dumbledore held his hand up, silencing her. "No, no. James, you are quite correct. I allowed myself to become blinded." He leant towards Sirius.

"No!" James almost screamed. "No, he said you could have his memories if he died, but he's not dead. You are not taking anything from him without his permission."

"The fidelius charm is still in place," Dumbledore said softly.

"Of course it fucking is!" James growled. "Sirius would never betray us."

"Dark magic was used," Dumbledore said as his hand hovered over Sirius' forehead. He flinched as he saw in his visions a flash of green light. He continued in a small, shaky voice, "dark magic that I cannot even begin to comprehend." He gently rested his hand on the back of Sirius' neck. "You are safe now, Sirius," he said gently. "You have been brave and strong, you have fulfilled your task." He swept his wand in the air, watching as the golden strands slowly twisted into the air between them.

"What the hell are you doing?" James exclaimed.

"Lifting the charm. He doesn't need the burden anymore; he needs to be at peace."

James' eyes darted between Dumbledore and Sirius for a moment. "No. No. NO!" he screamed. "No." Tears streamed down his face unashamedly as his whole body began to shake. "No! Sirius, please mate. Oh god, no." He laid his head on Sirius' shoulder. "No! Don't go Padfoot, please don't. We need to get Remus drunk again and find him a girl. You need to see Harry; Merlin, can he fly! Please Sirius, don't go. I need you. I need you, brother, please don't go."


	3. Chapter 3

Repost chapter 3. Again, I cannot thank Ambush99 for betaing both my new and old chapters!

 **Chapter 3**

"James the burden is draining him. He's trying to fight for you, Lily and Harry, as well as himself. He can't do that anymore, it's killing him."

"Why, Sirius? Why did you have to be our secret keeper?" James said to no one in particular.

"Because you trusted him above anyone else."

"I-I, I never wanted anything like this to happen. I never wanted you to get hurt because of me," James whispered, knowing his words were ridiculous. They had been at war for fuck's sake. What the hell had he expected?

Flashback

" _Padfoot!" James said with a grin, swinging the door open._

" _For fuck's sake, James, what part of 'Voldemort's hunting you' do you not understand?!"_

" _Well hello to you too mate," James said, still grinning. "Seriously mate, you have to go through the protective wards."_

 _Sirius sighed and rubbed a hand over his weary face. "Mate, this isn't some run of the mill random death eater. This is Lord Voldemort. You need more than a 'couple of protective wards'. You need-"_

" _No Padfoot!"_

" _I don't like it either but I've run every scenario in my head and this is the best one. It's the one where we all might come out of this war alive."_

" _Sirius, I can't ask you to do this."_

" _You're not, I'm offering."_

" _Padfoot!"_

 _Sirius leant back against the kitchen counter and eyed his closest friend carefully. "Do you trust me?"_

" _What?" James exclaimed. "Of course I do. I trust you with my life. I'd trust you with my family's lives."_

 _Sirius nodded slowly. "I think you've answered your question. You know what needs to be done. If you don't do it for yourself, then do it for Lily and Harry."_

 _James sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. How have we become so old?"_

" _War," Sirius replied tiredly. He walked across the room and pulled out a bottle of firewhisky and two glasses. Handing one to James, he raised his. "To peace and friendship."_

 _James mirrored the action. "To brothers," he added._

 _The two friends eyed each other for a moment before draining the drink._

End flashback

The Fidelius Charm had been performed the very next day. It had been the last he'd seen of Sirius, until his friend had collapsed through his door what had felt like hours ago, but was probably only fifteen minutes before. A few weeks after the charm had been performed, Remus had arrived on a night he just wanted to forget, that cold, wet, windy night, to deliver that fateful news. Peter and Sirius had gone, and it looked like Sirius had killed Peter, along with twelve muggles, before disappearing.

He looked down at the broken, barely alive man and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Keep fighting Padfoot, you're safe now. You're not alone anymore, we're all here for you." He swallowed a couple of times as he tried to regain his composure. "I need you to perform the Fidelius Charm on Sirius and me. I'll be his secret keeper."

"I can't," Dumbledore replied.

"Why? He needs protecting. I can't imagine the death eaters are going to be overly pleased their favourite prisoner has escaped. Unless, well, you think he's Voldemort's lap dog and did this to himself," James said bitterly.

"No," Dumbledore said softly, as he bent down and pulled a clump of matted hair off Sirius' face. "I don't think he's Voldemort's lap dog. The theory of him killing Peter and those muggles never sat right with me. I just don't want to perform any unnecessary magic on him."

"Why?!" James exclaimed. He watched Dumbledore for a moment, and knew why. Sirius was dying.

Professor McGonagall couldn't help but gasp when she saw her former pupil. The Sirius Black she knew had a mischievous, a fiery spirit with a good heart. It pained her to see the man she had observed grow into a strong, powerful auror look so weak and broken.

"James, come on. You need to move," Lily said gently.

"No! No, I'm not leaving him!"

"I know, but Madam Pomfrey needs to look at him. She needs to help him."

James looked at Dumbledore for a moment before returning his attention back to his oldest friend. A friend who had given up everything to ensure he and his family could survive. A friend who had damn near killed himself to help them. A friend who still might die, just so he could warn them. His best friend had been tortured trying to protect him and he had not broken. He had never given his tormentors the information. His best mate, his brother, had been tortured for thirteen years to ensure his, Lily's and Harry's safety. A decision he had argued with Sirius about when they had been twenty-one year olds. 'As children, seven years older than Harry!' his thirty-four year old self thought. Right now he didn't care about the years, or the perhaps immaturity when they had made that promise; when his friend had made that ultimate sacrifice. He knew how much his stylish friend would hate the state he was in now. He fought the urge to cast a spell making his friend more presentable, but he knew he couldn't. He understood the weight behind Dumbledore's words. Sirius was dying. He knew his best friend would need every fibre of his strength to survive. To make him look smart, presentable, was pointless. He shook his head, he didn't give a damn what his friend looked like just as long as he was healthy, happy and alive.

James nodded reluctantly. "Padfoot, I've got to talk to Dumbledore, okay." He told the unresponsive figure. "I'm just going to be over there, if you need anything. You're not alone anymore mate; we're all here for you. You're going to be fine, okay."

"James, I need to know everything that happened tonight," Dumbledore said as he watched a distracted man sit in front of his desk.

"Can't it wait?" James replied sharply, his eyes never leaving the still form of his best friend.

"James, Sirius fought with every fibre of his body to get back here and warn us. He can't tell me right now, but you can. You need to be his voice."

He looked over at his oldest friend. "He is brave. He was-". James took at breath as he began to tell what Sirius had told him. Once he had finished he stared Dumbledore down. "No," James said firmly. "No, if you for one moment think I am going to leave my brother in his hour of need you are sorely mistaken."

"James, we are unsure of who the traitor is and what disguise they are taking."

"It's fucking Wormtail and he's a bloody rat in every sense of the word."

"James?"

"Sweetie, he needs to know. You are not betraying the oath you all made. This is going to help Harry, Sirius and it might prevent another war," Lily encouraged.

"James, who's Wormtail?"

James swallowed a couple of times. He knew what Sirius had said. Tears threatened when he looked at the state he was in and as he thought what he had been through. The Marauders had made an oath, but they had been betrayed by one of their own. "Sirius, Peter and myself are animagi," he confessed.

"I presume this was to help Mr. Lupin," Dumbledore replied mildly. "What animals were you?"

"I'm a stag; Sirius is a dog and Peter..." James paused as he felt bile rise in his throat as he mentioned the name. "Peter is a rat."

"You and Sirius could control Remus when he had transformed. And Peter?" Dumbledore asked.

"He could stop the willow. Look, Professor, I don't want to be rude but I've told you everything I know. You haven't told me what's happening with my son. Is he okay? Does he need to compete in the competition?" James demanded. His eyes flickered towards his still friend.

"I've been informed that, as his name was pulled from the goblet, he's entered a binding magical contract and he has to compete."

James let his head fall into his hands and raked them through his dishevelled hair. "He did everything he could to stop it, but it still happened."

"But he did help. He warned us, we know Voldemort is growing stronger and he is more than likely involved in this," Dumbledore reasoned.

"Oh god," James replied, holding his hand over his mouth feeling slightly sick. "What the hell do I do?"

"Harry will be fine, the competition has far more safeguards than it ever did," Lily replied, looking sharply at Dumbledore. "It's not like before. Harry is strong. He has good friends and I will talk to him. He's going to be fine. Sirius needs someone."

"I-I," James stuttered.

"I know," Lily finished. "Your son or your brother? I know you feel conflicted and I know you want to be there for your son, but he has people around him, who does Sirius have?"

James Potter had never been a patient man. Through his job he had learnt to control his impulsive nature, but this was testing his training to its very core. He had merely nodded at Dumbledore's reassurances, too conflicted to do anything else, that the tri-wizard competition was safer than it had ever been, that there were numerous safeguards in place. But it didn't change the fact his son was fourteen not seventeen. The magic he had learnt, either in the classroom or with the Marauders, had been unfathomable. He doubted that it was any different with the older competitors. Then there was the reason he was standing outside the hospital wing feeling sick. Even before this he knew his friend had been strong, tough and stubborn, but he never knew to what extent. Now he knew, he thought bitterly. He just hoped his friend had enough fight left in him to fight this battle. Madam Pomfrey had demanded he stay out of the hospital wing whilst she worked. He thought for a moment before nodding, knowing Madam Pomfrey could have him thrown out of the castle as well.

Upon hearing Sirius scream, he couldn't take it any longer and burst into the hospital wing, racing over to his friend. Not bothering to seek Madam Pomfrey's approval, he took his friend's hand and started talking to him. "Sirius!" he said urgently. "Padfoot, Padfoot. Mate, you're okay. You're not there anymore. You're safe; you're at Hogwarts like you asked. I know it hurts but it won't hurt for long, Madam Pomfrey needs to heal you."

He looked up at Madam Pomfrey as though challenging her to make him leave. His eyes met hers and he knew he had won the battle. And that's how it was: night after night he'd sat with his unconscious friend; sometimes talking about their friends, or Harry, reading the Daily Prophet or just talking about life in general. It was always a one-sided conversation but he hoped Sirius drew as much comfort from it as he did. He and Lily had taken the decision not to tell Harry his godfather was alive. But then, when he had met his father, he had broken down and eventually confessed Sirius was alive. His parents were elderly but they loved Sirius as though he was their son. They had been as devastated as he when Sirius had disappeared. He had ended by promising his father as soon as it was possible he would let him visit Sirius and, if that fateful time came, they would hold a funeral in the grounds of Potter Manor and respectfully honour the brave man Sirius was.

"I can't believe they still have Hough as Seeker," James moaned. "Seriously, a troll would do better." He put down the newspaper when he heard Sirius whimper. After sitting next to his comatose friend for a month he'd gotten used to these, though it still didn't make it any easier. "Padfoot, it's okay mate. It's okay, you're at Hogwarts." James frowned as Sirius' hand began to curl and his eyes dart beneath their lids.

"Padfoot! Come on mate, you've been sleeping for way too long, you need to wake up."

Very slowly but surely, James watched his friend's eyes flicker before finally focusing on him. Tears began to stream uncontrollably down his face. "Welcome back, mate."

"Prongs, why are you crying?" Sirius managed in a hoarse voice, almost as if he had forgotten how to use it.

"I'm not," James replied, not bothering to wipe the tears from his face. "Just bored of waiting for my stupid sod of a brother to wake up."


	4. Chapter 4

Repost of chapter 4. Huge thanks as always to Ambush99 for betaing!

 **Chapter 4**

A silence passed between them. "Sirius, I'm," James started, but no words seemed able to touch his friend's sacrifice. "I'm so sorry."

"Mate," Sirius said holding his hand up. "There's nothing to be sorry for, and anyway I obviously wasn't a very good one. I can feel it, it's broken."

James frowned for a moment as he tried to work out what Sirius had meant. "Padfoot. Oh mate, no. That was Dumbledore. It was draining you. You were trying to fight for us, but he didn't think you could anymore. He lifted the Fidelius charm, you didn't break."

"Oh, thank god," Sirius whispered softly. "When I didn't feel it's presence, I thought I'd betrayed my friends."

"Sirius, I know you would never betray us. That's why I agreed to you as my secret keeper." A notion that had sounded honourable, glamorous almost when they were young. But looking at the physical damage his friend had undergone, not to mention the untold mental damage; there was nothing glamorous about it. "Padfoot, I'm so sorry."

"No Prongs, don't. If our places had been exchanged and I had a kid Voldemort was hunting, would you've done the same?"

"Of course-"

"Exactly," Sirius said, cutting him off. "I made the choice. Not you, but me. No one forced me and I'd do it again. I'd do it a thousand times if it meant you, Lily and Harry were safe. So, please."

James watched his friend close his eyes for a moment. "Okay, will you accept a thank you?"

"Sure, as long as I can have some of that vintage firewhisky."

James found himself grinning. "Of course."

Sirius reached a bony arm out and seized the Daily Prophet from the bedside table. "Oh god! James, I am so sorry."

"What?"

Sirius held the paper in front of his friend, pointing at the headline, 'What next for Potter?' "Please tell me it's another Potter." But he knew it was pointless. The photo of the kid couldn't be anything but James' kid. He was a carbon copy of James when he was fourteen.

"No, don't you dare," James said, grabbing the paper out of Sirius' hand and tossing it to one side. "Don't you dare blame yourself for that! You did everything you could!"

"Clearly not, or Harry wouldn't be in that competition. He would be safe," Sirius growled.

"No! Damn it, Padfoot, do you know how close you were to death? According to Madam Pomfrey's diagnostic spells, you shouldn't have made it to our home. You shouldn't be here right now! If you had pushed harder, you may have never made it!"

"Seeing as I'm some form of medical miracle, then maybe I would have made it and Harry wouldn't have to compete!" Sirius countered.

"I'm serious, Sirius!" James exclaimed, frowning when his usual pun didn't get a response. "Harry's fine. Okay, it doesn't stop me being fucking terrified each time he steps up to one of those bloody tasks, but he's done bloody well. He won the first one, against fucking dragons!"

"Dragons?! Shit, if I'd, I'm sorry."

"It's okay mate, it's not your fault." James stopped and took a couple of calming breaths as he tried to regain composure. "Padfoot, where did you go?" he asked carefully.

"A dark place, Prongs."

James nodded sadly. "Do you want to talk about it?" He watched his friend shake his head. "Was...?"

"Yeah, Voldemort was there to start with."

"Then…?"

"I'm sorry James, I just can't. I know Dumbledore, you, god probably others want to know. I know I owe you an explanation, but-"

"No Padfoot, you don't owe anyone an explanation, least of all me." James said, putting his hand on Sirius' shoulder before pulling him into a hug. "The fact you are back, alive and going to be okay is more than I could ever wish for. When we get back to mine, we'll crack open that bottle of firewhisky and celebrate."

"Yours?"

"Oh Padfoot, don't be dumb. You think I'd let you go back to your parents' place, or find some room at the Leaky Caldron? No, of course you are coming back to mine. Anyway, you still have your room. You know, the one that's been yours since you were twelve."

"Thank you, Prongs."

"Don't mention it. You were around the whole time before, so why would it be any different now?"

Sirius held his head in his hands for a moment and nodded, as he struggled to process everything. "How's Remus?"

"He's okay."

Sirius frowned at James' less than enthusiastic reply. "What's he doing?"

"He's researching my family history."

"And…?"

"He's currently doing a job for Dumbledore, working undercover with werewolves," James replied bitterly.

"What?!" Sirius exclaimed, coughing. "That's sick. That's cruel. He hates that."

"I know," James replied darkly, handing his friend a glass of water. His brow knotted with concern as he watched his shaking hands and saw how tired Sirius suddenly looked. "But it's Moony, he'll be alright."

"And the moons?"

"I try to be there each time," James replied softy. "Sirius, you need to rest."

Sirius nodded as he closed his eyes. "And you've dealt with Peter?"

What should he say? 'Sorry mate, you didn't exactly give me a lot to go on', when he knew his friend had all but killed himself to get back and deliver the warning? "No, not yet," he replied finally. He watched in alarm as his friend's eyes snapped open and he started to try and get out of bed. "Padfoot? Padfoot, what are you doing? You need to rest. Madam Pomfrey will have my hide. You've got to tell me what's happening."

"He's here! I've got to stop him!" Sirius exclaimed as he continued to struggle against his friend.

"Padfoot, stop!" He rapidly thought of anything he could say to help link Sirius to a time of happiness. A time where he felt safe. "Padfoot, tell me what you know about Peter."

"He betrayed us."

"How do you know?" James asked carefully. He'd taken his friend's word as golden when he'd said Peter was alive and they couldn't trust him. After all it was Sirius, there was no one in the world he trusted more.

"He was there."

James nodded, clenching his jaw as bile rose up in his throat. Not only had Peter betrayed them, he'd played a part in the state Sirius was in. What had Sirius ever done to deserve the life he had led, he thought bitterly. "How do you know he's at Hogwarts?"

"My cousin, she..."

"It's okay, you're at Hogwarts. You're safe. You're not there anymore."

"I'm sorry, they feel so…"

"Real?" James helped. Wherever 'there' was he would find the damn place and burn it to the ground, he thought darkly.

"Yeah," Sirius breathed. "She, she had a newspaper and he was there, on the front cover. The Weasley family had won a holiday or something, and he was there, sitting on the youngest boy's shoulder."

How he wasn't sick at that point, James would never know. "Ron?"

"You know the boy?" Sirius asked.

"He's, he's Harry's best friend. No Sirius!" James exclaimed as he started to struggle again.

"Please James, I've got to do this, I've got to finish what I started," Sirius pleaded desperately. "It's what drove me on my journey back here. I'm Harry's godfather; it's my job to protect him. Please James, let me do this. Let me complete my mission."

"Okay, "James said nodding. "I'll get Madam Pomfrey."

"No!"

"Padfoot, she needs to check you out."

"No, she won't let me. She'll give me a sleeping draught. I've got to do this. I can't let that rat be near Harry for a moment longer!"

"Padfoot, calm down! I'll speak to her, I'll make her understand."

"You promise?"

"I solemnly swear," James replied with a smile. "We'll do this together."

"Thanks Prongs."

"It's what friends are for, right?" James turned and walked towards the nurse's office. He shook his head. Despite everything he had been through, Sirius still cared deeply about his friends.

* * *

"James, what if I'm wrong?" Sirius asked quietly after Madam Pomfrey finally left. She had insisted on numerous checks, giving him numerous potions and mentioned, on yet more numerous occasions, that she was not happy with it, and that he should not be leaving her hospital wing. That she still considered James and himself as irresponsible as she did when they were at school. But James had been good to his word; he was finally leaving the hospital wing and completing his mission.

"Wrong about what, mate?"

"Peter being here."

"How long have you known he was at Hogwarts?"

"Roughly since the 5th August."

"5th August?"

"Yeah, my cousin's newspaper had a photo of the Weasleys, that's when I saw him. That's when I knew I had to escape. I had to get back. I don't know how long it took me to get back, I lost all concept of time," Sirius said with a shudder. "I'm sorry James; I tried to get back sooner. But, the swim was long and I wasn't really sure of where I was going. When I finally made it to land, it look me a while to figure out where I was, so much had changed. Mate, I swear, I really do. I tried to get back sooner, I really did."

"Sirius, Sirius," James replied shaking his friend's shoulders. "Mate, I know you did. I know, you did everything you could to get back. I know that journey would have killed the vast majority of people, even if they were fighting fit. But it didn't kill you. You are too bloody strong, stubborn and sometimes, too bloody stupid for your own good!"

"And the Ministry?"

"What about the Ministry?"

Sirius sighed. "James, you can't hide it from me. I know there's a price on my head. I know I am the prime, the only suspect for Peter's 'death' and the muggles' murders. I swear to you I didn't. I couldn't kill innocent people. I've never used the killing curse, even when I was fighting death eaters as an auror."

"I know. I never believed you killed those people, nor did Lily, Remus, Dumbledore, the Longbottoms and a host of other people. We just didn't know what happened. A street blown apart, twelve muggles murdered, you disappear and all that was left of Peter was a finger and some bloody robes. What happened, mate?"

"It was stupid, I should've taken back up, but, well, you know what it was like then. I didn't know who I could trust. The only person I felt I could trust was you and you had gone into hiding. I figured out Peter was the spy. He was the common link when it came to information going to the dark side and my gut just said it was him. I guess, if it had been anyone else I would have taken back up or something, but it was Peter. We trusted him, I so nearly convinced you to make him your secret keeper. I just felt so betrayed, so angry and I was so stupid. I went to confront him; I think I thought I could convince him to come back to our side. That whatever he thought was right about the dark side wasn't worth it. I know I had failed with my brother, I regretted that. Reg wasn't a bad person, he'd just been corrupted, he had been brainwashed by my family. I don't think Peter was a bad person, I think he was scared. I think I thought that I could convince him that we would protect him like we did at school. But then he shouted, shot a curse and someone grabbed me from behind. We Side-Along Apparated; I don't remember a lot after that. I don't remember a lot of anything after that."

James took a shaky breath. It all made sense now. Voldemort had guessed Sirius was his secret keeper. To find him, he needed Sirius. Voldemort knew, from previous attempts, Sirius would never join him, would never go willingly to him, and so he needed to capture him. Sirius was always so careful; he never stayed in the same place for more than a couple of days. When he travelled anywhere he would take multiple forms of transportation. So Voldemort exploited one of Sirius' character traits, his undying loyalty to his friends. He knew he would go and try to help Peter. "Bastard," he muttered darkly.

"James, I'm fucked. I know you guys believe me but that's not going to be enough for the Ministry. They are going to send me to Azkaban."

"No they won't, I won't allow it."

Sirius sighed and shook his head. "Mate, as much as I admire the sentiment, I doubt you would have that influence. I guess I am still very much a wanted man."

"Your wand."

"I haven't seen it since that day."

"It's at the Ministry."

"They didn't perform the Prior Incantato?" Sirius said in disbelief.

"No, bloody Crouch was leading the investigation. The muggles had seen you yell at Peter, and then there was an explosion. For Crouch, that was enough. You were guilty," James muttered.

"He always hated me. I don't think there was a day that went by when he didn't try and have me kicked out of the aurors."

"I know, it used to drive Moody mad. But don't worry about Crouch; Amelia Bones is now Head of Law Enforcement, she'll be fair, she'll listen. With Prior Incantato, Veritaserum and your memories, you'll be fine. There's nothing there, there is no evidence linking you to that attack other than you were there trying to help a friend."

"I hope so Prongs, I hope so," Sirius replied in a small voice.

* * *

After seemingly many hours, Sirius slumped back in the chair, feeling more tired than he had ever felt in his whole life. Hours' worth of questions, memories extracted and watching his wand perform its last spells had left him utterly drained. He felt an encouraging hand pat him on the shoulder.

"You did good, mate," James said with a smile. Despite his earlier upbeat and encouraging words, he had been terrified about this meeting. He was somehow sure they would find a way to hold Sirius or something.

"Mr. Black, you'll be wanting this back," Amelia Bones said as she handed Sirius his wand.

"Thanks," he managed. He ran it between his fingers for a moment. It felt so foreign to him, but yet so familiar, like he had been reconnected with a part of himself that was missing. He felt that he could almost be whole again.

"You said Pettigrew is in the castle."

"Yes, he's here in the form of the rat. He's…" He looked at James for confirmation.

"Ron," James confirmed.

"Yes, he's Ron Weasley's rat," Sirius finished, before the rest of his sentence turned into a hacking cough. He missed the gasp from Amelia Bones' young assistant.

"Mr. Black. Sirius," Amelia said, her voice softening as she remembered the young, but highly talented, auror. "We can finish this another day."

"Mate, let's call it a day. You're still not well. You've done so much today, let's take a break," James said gently, as he wrapped an arm around his friend's shaking shoulders.

"No, I need to do this. James, you promised."

"Okay," James said simply, and nodded at Dumbledore. Who in turn nodded at Professor McGonagall.

* * *

"I guess we'd better get going," Ron said as he caught the crumpled piece of parchment. "You know how much Snape loves it when we are late for detentions."

Harry sat transfixed, staring at the map. "Mate, why is your brother in Dumbledore's office?"

"Brother? Mate, I have five of them, you are going to have to be more specific."

"Percy?"

"I have no idea."

"He's there with his boss Amelia Bones and…" Harry said trailing off. He knew those names, but how?

"And who?" Ron said as he wandered over. "Prongs and Padfoot? I've seen those names somewhere."

"I know, but I can't place them. I don't know."

"Mischief managed."

"Ron, what are you doing? I was looking at that," Harry exclaimed.

"I have an idea. I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," Ron said tapping the map. He watched as the words magically began to appear. _'Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs are proud to present the Marauders' map'._ "Harry, it's them. Padfoot and Prongs, they're here in the castle!"

"What?" Harry questioned. But, before he could ask further, he saw the 'Professor McGonagall' dot moving towards their dorm. "Mischief managed," he said quickly and stuffed the map into his robes.

"Ah, Potter, Weasley, you need to come with me," Professor McGonagall said, entering the dorm. "Oh and Weasley, bring your rat with you."

Harry and Ron exchanged looks. "But Professor, we have a detention with Professor Snape."

"It's been cancelled," Professor McGonagall said quickly as she swept through the common room. "Come on, the headmaster needs to see you urgently."

Ron glanced at Harry, his face a mixture of confusion and excitement. "What the hell does Dumbledore want with Scabbers?"

"I don't know mate," Harry replied.

"Wait till Fred and George hear about this, we are going to meet two of the Marauders! That's definitely worth a couple of mum's howlers."


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Harry had imagined the Maunders' identities on numerous occasions. He had concluded they had to be an older, cooler version of Fred and George. So, seeing the group of people in the headmaster's office came at somewhat of a surprise. His eyes travelled across the people in the room; Dumbledore, Amelia Bones, Percy and. "Dad?"

"Harry"

His eyes fell on the person sitting next to his father. He hadn't noticed him at first. He looked terrible. Pale and gaunt, his sunken form seemed to almost disappear into the armchair he sat on. But there was something strangely familiar about him; he just could not place it.

"Dad, what are we doing here?" he finally managed.

"Mr. Weasley, do you have your rat?" Dumbledore started.

"Dumbledore, no, they need to know. They need to understand," James said jumping in. He glanced at Sirius was he wondered how he'd start this elaborate tale. "When I was at Hogwarts, I…" He stopped and glanced at Sirius again. The years they had spent apart hadn't broken the strong bond of friendship.

"Harry," Sirius croaked. "Please can I look at your map?"

"What?" James, Harry and Ron said together.

Harry slowly pulled the parchment from his robes and looked at it for a moment, before handing the map to the man. Somehow he instinctively knew he could trust this man. Despite his appearance, he knew he would never hurt him.

"Thank you," Sirius said as he took the map with a shaking hand. He carefully placed it on the table before him. Then with some hesitation, as though he didn't quite trust his ability, he tapped the parchment. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."

"You know how it works?" Ron gasped.

"Of course."

"You're one of the Maunders?" Ron said in awe.

Sirius nodded in acknowledgement. "When James, I… mate, do they know about Remus?"

"Yes, they do, its fine," James replied. "Assuming anything we say in here is, well err, well you know."

"I assume anything you are referring to is a couple of bored underage wizards experimenting with magic at school, then it's a school issue. It's not the concern of the Ministry," Amelia Bones replied.

James and Sirius exchanged looks before Sirius continued. "James, Remus, Peter and I were great friends at school. We were all sorted into Gryffindor, so spent the vast majority of our time together. Remus, however, used to disappear on a semi frequent basis. He always made excuses, he was visiting his sick mother and the like, but he always came back injured. He made excuses and tried to hide them, but it just didn't sit right. We…." Sirius stopped and looked at James for moment.

"Mid-August, when you stayed over and we just finished playing Quidditch with the McGill kids," James added.

"That's when we figured out Remus was a werewolf," Sirius explained seeing the confused faces. "I'm not going to lie to you, it terrified me at the time, but he was still Remus. He just…"

"…had a bit of a furry problem each month," James finished.

"At that time Remus' transformations were incredibly painful. I know he had the condition since he was five, but I know the transformations still terrified him. We hated it, knowing what our friend was going through, yet there was nothing we could do. Well, not in our human forms at least."

"I don't understand," Harry said.

"A werewolf is only dangerous to humans," James added.

"So, James and I decided we had to help Remus and the only way to do that was to become Animagi."

"How old were you when you made that decision," Professor McGonagall asked.

"Twelve," James replied.

"We studied every book in the library and." He looked at guiltily at Professor McGonagall. "We borrowed your notes. I'm sorry."

Professor McGonagall waved her hand dismissively. "When did you manage to achieve it?"

"You and I?" James said, looking at Sirius. "During the summer holiday of our fourth year. I think it was the third week."

"Yup," Sirius confirmed. "Peter managed it in the fourth week of our fifth year."

"That's quite some achievement," Professor McGonagall said with a small smile. She shook her head; it may have been sixteen years since they left school. They may have not seen each other for thirteen years, but the conversation between them was the same. Always covering for each other. Always finishing each other's sentences.

"Peter was a rat, I am a stag and Sirius…"

"… a black dog," Harry finished.

"You remember?" Sirius asked, breaking into the first genuine smile. The first smile even in thirteen years.

James patted his friend's shoulder; feeling relived parts of the old Sirius were being to resurface once again. "We made the map so we could get out of the school without being seen," he continued, his hand sweeping over the map.

"That's quite some magic for a couple of fifteen year olds," Amelia Bones admired.

Sirius and James shrugged. "It showed our animagi forms as well as Remus's transformation, and we didn't want that information to get into the wrong hands. So we added another layer of encryption. Sirius pulled his wand out and gently tapped on the map again. "Occultatum," he muttered. Slowly another dot appeared on the map, right next to Ron, 'Wormtail'.

He let his head fall into his hands. He had been right, all this time, he had been right. He wasn't aware of James' almost death grip on his shoulder or the collective gasps around the room, or the near frantic squeaking from the rat. He had been right. He didn't know what emotion he felt right now; relieve, fear, excitement, or maybe he was too tired, too broken to feel anything. He knew it was over.

"Sirius," James said wrapping his arm around the other man's shoulders. "What did I say? I knew you were right. You are a bloody genius mate."

"Thanks Prongs," Sirius said thickly.

Harry looked at his godfather, who if possible looked worse than he had done moments before the revelation. His father looked as white as sheet, Ron who looked like he was either going to throw up or pass out and the other adults who looked at rat with disgust.

Ron held the rat at arm's length with a look of utter disgust and shock on his face. "What happened," he asked in a timid voice.

James sat down next to his friend and looked at him before continuing. "During the war it was hell. You didn't know who to trust, and then we learnt someone close to us was a spy and my family was being hunted by Lord Voldemort."

"Us? Why?" Harry asked in a confused voice.

"Your mother and I were prominent members of the Order, the group formed to fight Voldemort," James added seeing Ron and Harry's confused faces. He and Lily had never told Harry about the prophecy, neither of them seeing the need to burden Harry with it. They wanted him to have a childhood, then when he was seventeen they would tell him. "I guess we fought one too many battles and pissed him off."

"What did you do?"

"We had to go into hiding and have a secret keeper."

"What's a secret keeper?"

"The Secret Keeper is the witch or wizard designated to hide a secret by means of the Fidelius Charm; the secret is embedded in their very soul," Sirius said quietly.

"And…" Harry started. He was going to ask who their secret keeper was but he knew the answer sat before him. He knew it was the same reason his dad had thought his best friend had died. It was the reason he hadn't seen his godfather in thirteen years. It was the reason his godfather looked barely alive. "You were our secret keeper," he finally said.

"Yes."

"Thank you," Harry finally manged, his throat suddenly feeling very tight.

"I think it's time for Peter to revel himself." Dumbledore said breaking the silence. He took the rat from Ron. With a quick flick on his wand, then was a flash of light and like a rapidly growing tree, a short, balding man appeared in front of them. "Good afternoon Peter."

The short, balding man's eyes darted wildly around the room. "Dumbledore," he said in a wheezy voice.

"We just want to have a chat about Halloween."

"Halloween?" Peter replied nervously. "James, James my old friend."

James looked at his former friend, the man who would have seen him die without battering an eyelid. His hand did not leave the shoulder of the man who had been prepared and damn near give up his life for his family and himself. "Yes Peter, Halloween thirteen years ago," he said darkly.

"Sirius!" Peter exclaimed, noticing his old friend for the first time. "You..."

"Escaped? Am alive?" Sirius offered. "Yes, that's right Peter, I escaped from that hellhole you held me in. I escaped from your master, Voldemort."

"He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?" Peter laughed nervously. "I've only been loyal to you, James."

"Don't you dare talk about loyalty in front of him!" James growled, once again resuming his death grip on Sirius' shoulder. "You would have sold my family and I to Voldemort without batting an eye lid. You delivered a friend, someone who looked out for you, to Voldemort!"

"I-I, no James. I would never do that. Its Sirius, he serves the Dark Lord!"

"I've never served that piece of filth," Sirius said in a near whisper. "When I was sixteen my family offered me into his service. I refused. He marked my life from that moment. It didn't stop your Death Eater pals from trying to recruit me."

"Death Eater pals?!" Peter exclaimed. "Where ever you've been for the last thirteen years has obviously warped your mind"

"Where have I been Peter?" Sirius spat. "You would know, you brought me there!"

Peter started to mutter. Words such as 'far-fletched' and 'madness' could be made out amongst the blabbering., but all the time his skin grew paler.

"Mr. Pettigrew, I would like to hear your account of the event on 31st October 1981," Amelia Bones said, speaking for the first time.

"Ask him!" Peter exclaimed. "He was there."

"I have heard Mr. Black's account of the event."

"And you…" Peter stopped, noting the wand in Sirius' hand. He knew Sirius' didn't have when they had captured him. He knew it had been held at the Ministry all this time. Which only meant one thing.

"Why?" James asked.

"He was taking over everywhere, there was no point in fighting him," Peter squeaked.

"No point in fighting the evillest wizard ever to walk this world?!"

"He was..."

"He was what Peter?!" James snapped, fighting the urge to yell at the small balding man whom once considered a friend. "Do you deny you past information to Voldemort? Do you deny you were going to sell my family and I to Voldemort? Do deny you kidnapped Sirius and tortured him?"

"No!" Peter snapped.

The simple word took the wind out of James' sails. Too shocked. Too confused to anything else he slumped in the chair. "Fuck," he said to no one in particular.

Sensing James had nothing more to say, Amelia Bones stepped from and tapped Peter's wand. "Prior Incantato," Amelia Bones said softy. Gold threads snaked out showing the various spells he had used. Ghosts of people began to rise from the end. She nodded. "Fulgari." Cords shot from her wand, binding Peter. "Mr. Black, you are obviously acquitted from all of the charges against you."

"Thank you," Sirius replied quietly.

"No thank you Mr. Black. Your information is certainly going to help us. You are a good man Sirius, you did not deserve this," Amelia finished softy. Without another word she slipped out the room, Peter in tow.

Harry watched his father put his arm around his godfather's shoulders and whisper to him. He couldn't make out the words, but he didn't want to. It wasn't his place. He knew his father and Sirius had been very close. He knew his grandparents had adopted Sirius when he was sixteen, after Sirius' parents had tried to sell him to Voldemort he thought darkly. He knew his father hated Halloween and had seen him hold a glass up to the stars uttering the _words 'Sirius, where ever you are, keep fighting and come home to us'._ He watched his father stand up, pat Sirius' shoulder again before walking up to him and Ron.

"Are you two okay?" James asked. Watching them both nodded, he placed his hands on their shoulders and started to guide them to the door. "Right, let's get you back to the common room. We don't want Filch to catch you out of bounds."

Harry nodded, but before he could stop himself he found himself running towards his godfather and throwing his arms around his neck. "Thank you for being our secret keeper and keeping us safe. Thank you for coming back for dad. He needs to you," he whispered.

Having been starved of human affection for so long Sirius was at a loss of what to do. "It's okay Harry," he finally managed, gently patting his back.

"I'll see you soon?" Harry asked. Watching his godfather nod a reply, he turned and walked back to his father. Feeling a hand on his shoulder he allowed himself to be guided out of the room. "Will Sirius be okay?" he asked once out of Dumbledore's office.

James paused for a moment before replying. "Yes, he will be. It's going to take a bit of time, that's all. Ron? Are you okay?"

"I'm sorry Mr. Potter, I didn't know."

"Oh Ron!" James exclaimed placing his hands on Ron's shoulders. "None of us did. Remus and I didn't realise and we used transform the whole time together. Sirius realised because, because he is far more observant than us."

"He was always a crap pet," Ron said bitterly. "I just didn't realise how crap."

"I guess you owe Crookshanks an apology," Harry added.

"I'll buy him a bowl of the best cat food, or whatever cats like."

"Are two okay?" James asked again.

"Yes. When I am going to Sirius again?" Harry asked.

"At Christmas, he's staying with us."

"Great," Harry said with a grin. He briefly hugged his father before clapping Ron on the shoulder and starting to head down the corridor. "I'll see you later dad."

James watched for a moment as the two boys ended down the corridor before heading back into the study.

* * *

A/N: Hope everyone is enjoying my fic. Please R&R

A/N 2: Remus will appear. Either in the next chapter or the following one, depending on how carried away I get on Chapter 6 . The last two chapters were going to be one chapter and probably 2000 words, it ended up being more than double. Then I got carried away. I guess an early morning commute will do that to a person.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

"So," Ron started.

"Yeah," Harry replied. "Ron, Scabbers, I…"

"Don't mention that name," Ron said holding his hands up. "I always thought he was pretty boring pet, but now… shit the bastard was going to sell you and your family to you-know-who! He sold Sirius out!"

"I know. I can't believe Voldemort wanted my family dead! I can't believe Sirius was our secret keeper! He is my dad's brother."

Ron frowned. "I thought he was your dad's best friend."

"He is, but well, my grandparents adopted him when he was sixteen."

"After his parents tried selling him to you-know-who?"

"I guess so."

"Do you remember him?"

"Not really," Harry replied. "I remember the black dog but not a lot else. He disappeared when I was one. I know they used to be aurors together."

"Your dad and Sirius used to be aurors? That's so cool!" Ron exclaimed. "I can't believe they wrote the map as well."

"I know, I always thought dad was a bit boring, but now… we've got to tell Hermione!" Harry finished with a grin.

* * *

"Padfoot," James said, gently shaking his friend's shoulders.

"What?" Sirius yawned, blinking his eyes. "Oh, sorry I must have dozed off."

"Come on, let's get you back to my place," James said extending his arm and hauling the other man to his feet.

"There's foot and booze at yours?"

"Oh yes"

"Excellent, I believe you owe me some vintage firewhisky," Sirius said with a grin.

"Potter Manor," they both said throwing Floo Powder into the fire.

The next thing Sirius was aware of was a mass of red hair throwing themselves at him and pulling into a bone crushing hug.

"Don't you ever dare to that to me again Sirius Black!" Lily demanded.

"Lily!"

"Don't you go missing for thirteen years and then turn up on my door step half dead! Promise me you will never do that again!" Lily repeated with tears streaming down her face.

"I promise," Sirius replied meekly.

"Good because we missed you. The world needs a Sirius Black," Lily said as she lightly pecked him on the cheek. "Now, I have some potions for you to drink."

"Lily"

"No, don't you dare argue with me. I'm not going to lose you again just because you were too stubborn to take care of yourself," Lily said, her eyes flashing. "You can drink with James afterwards."

"I'll grab the whisky mate," James said with a wicked grin.

After forcing down three goblets of various potions, Sirius found himself standing in the living room. He felt the same welcoming atmosphere as it had when he was twelve years old. The first place apart Hogwarts had felt like home. The first place he'd felt parental affection. He looked around the room, the décor may have changed, but it was, well the only home he had ever really had.

James stood, leant against the door frame as he observed his friend. He wondered the last time Sirius had received any kind words, human affection even. At times his friend seemed damaged beyond repair, but at times he also saw the old Sirius shining through. He knew he had to be there for his friend, like he had been all of these years. "Mate," he finally said, thrusting a glass into hand.

Sirius stared blankly at his friend for a moment before responding. "Sorry James."

"The old place bringing back memories?" James offered.

"Yeah," Sirius replied, finding a small smile.

"Padfoot, my place is your place. Stay here as long as you need to."

"Thanks," Sirius whispered.

James raised his glass to meet his friend's. "To brothers."

They clinked the glasses together and drained them. Sirius sunk down into the armchair, feeling the warmth of the fire wash over him. The smell of home cooked food and the sound of soft voices. He closed his eyes for moment. After the thirteen long years, he was finally home.

James found a small smile as he watched his friend begin to relax into his surroundings. He couldn't begin to imagine the tell Sirius has been through over the last thirteen years. He knew he had physically escaped it, but he doubted he would ever mentally escape it. "Padfoot, another?" he finally asked.

Sirius nodded and held his glass out, as he swallowed several times. "So, what's happened, since, well, since I've been gone."

James swallowed some of the amber liquid. "Well, umm. Mate, where do you want to start?" he asked.

"Just the highlights, I'm, well, you know."

James lent forward and patted his friend's shoulder. "Mate, you are home." He watched the other man relax slightly and take a sip before he continued. "A couple of months after you disappeared I quit the aurors. It felt odd, it felt wrong without you. So, I joined the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures."

"For Remus?"

James nodded. "I figured this way I still could help my friends."

"And…"

"I've managed to make Wolfsbane more available and affordable. I've tried to do away with the registration but haven't had any luck so far. I'm trying to persuade people that werewolves can be really good, decent, kind people who just…"

"… happen to have a bit of a furry problem each month," Sirius finished.

"Yeah," James said with a smile. "What else? Lily's now heading her department at St. Mungo's."

"Well, there's a surprise."

"I know," James said with a laugh. "Harry's seeker on the Quidditch team."

"Again, no surprises there."

"He made the team in first year."

"Ha! So, beat you by two years. How many games has he won for Gryffindor, I am assuming he is in Gryffindor."

"Of course! He's won every game," James said proudly. "You should see him play, he's bloody amazing! They aren't playing Quidditch this year because of the tournament, but next year, you're going to have to come to a game. That's how he got past the dragon in the first game, he flew. He told me afterwards he thought of it as a game Quidditch."

"Clearly your sane influence has rubbed off on him," Sirius replied grinning. "I hope he's keeping up your tradition and getting loads of detentions."

"Oh yes, I know as a father I should be disappointed but part of me is proud he's carrying on our traditions," James said grinning. "Mum and dad really well. Dad still runs the local duelling club."

"They still remember me?"

James frowned. "Sirius do they remember you? Mate, they are not about to forget the kid they adopted. Crouch tried to get a restraining order against mum."

"What?" Sirius exclaimed.

"After he refused to believe your innocents and refused to search for you, she confronted him. I am not sure exactly what happened but Crouch ended up with a broken nose and bats for ears. I know she sends him exploding dragon dung every Christmas," James explained.

"What else has happened?" James said rubbing his face. "Well you know Amelia Bones is heading the Magical Law Enforcement Department, she's still totally into you by the way."

"Shut up Prongs"

"What?!" James exclaimed innocently. "She is! What else? Fudge is Minister."

"You cannot be serious! Who in their right mind thought it a good idea to have that idiot as Minister."

"I think you've hit the nail on the head, mate with 'right mind'"

"I thought it would be Crouch."

"Crouch?" James said with a frown. "Of course, sorry mate I forgot you don't know. Crouch's son was a Death Eater."

"Wow!" Sirius exclaimed. "Was?"

"Yeah, he died a year into his lifetime sentence. Oh, Moody heads up the auror department."

"Good," Sirius replied. "I thought he may be kept out for political reasons. Moody was never one to play politics. So, what happened to Crouch in the end?"

He was pushed off into the Department of International Magical Cooperation. His wife died just after his son, so I guess people felt sorry for him. I know we never liked his methods, but after what he did to you, I struggled to feel sorry for him," James admitted. They carried on their conversation late into the night. At times it felt as if no time had passed, and the thirteen long years had never happened. But, when Sirius became quiet and distance, he wondered if his friend would ever be the same.

* * *

"Amelia?" Moody called out he observed the younger woman hand off a shorter, balding man to a couple of hit wizards. He couldn't remember the last time he had seen her working in the field.

"Alastair?"

"Who was that?"

"Peter Pettigrew," Amelia replied, struggling to keep the disgust from her voice.

"I thought?"

"So, did we all."

"What's he accused of?"

"Amongst other things, the murder of twelve muggles thirteen years ago," Amelia said bitterly.

Moody found himself sitting up a little straighter. "How did you find out?"

"Mr. Black"

"Sirius?"

"Yes, it turns out he was innocent all along."

"Of course, he bloody was," Moody snarled as he got up and limped across the room. He ripped the wanted poster off the wall, crunched it up into a ball and threw it across the room. "Do you know what happened to him?"

"He was imprisoned and tortured by you-know-who and his followers."

"Oh laddie, why didn't you come to me when you suspected Pettigrew?" Moody said quietly as he sadly shook his head. "Amelia, you need to help me sort out a memorial for him. We need to give him the send-off he deserves."

"No Alistair, you misunderstood me. He's alive. He spent a month in a coma at Hogwarts."

"What?! How is he?"

"He's as well as can be expected. Apparently, it's a miracle he's alive."

"No its not, he's Sirius Black. The lad has more lives than a bloody cat," Moody said with a grin.

"You knew him well?"

Moody waved his hand, dismissing her question. "Does Potter know?"

"James Potter? Yes, he was there," Amelia replied.

"Good. That's good," Moody said nodding.

"Alistair, did you know him well?" Amelia tried again.

"I recruited him, trained him and worked with him, so I'd like to think so."

"You recruited him? I thought the auror applications were massively oversubscribed but you haven't recruited anyone new for three years."

"That's true," Moody said thoughtfully. "But there was something different about Sirius. He was top of his class by a wide margin and despite the immature exterior; he was wise beyond his years. He has already fought and escaped Voldemort before he had even left school. I thought there was something special about him and my instincts were proven right. Six months into his training he was already better than aurors with five years' experience. He pulled me out of some hellish situations, he is pretty much the reason I am still alive. As I said, that lad has more lives than a bloody cat. Potter joined when Sirius had been with us for two years. He was defiantly as smart as Sirius, but very green. Still, they were the 'dream team'; I swear they were telepathic at times. They certainly livened up the office, the pranks they pulled…" Moody stopped as laughed fondly. "Scrimgeour didn't manage to get the pink out of his hair for at least three weeks. But as soon as they left the office on a mission, it was all business. It all began to fall apart when Potter had to go into hiding. Sirius had become paranoid, to be honest we all had. But the sources said someone close to the Potters was a spy. I think this terrified him beyond anything else, someone was threating to take away the only family he ever had."

"What about the Blacks?" Amelia asked.

"The Blacks? The same people who tried to sell their sixteen year old son to Voldemort!" Moody spat. "No, I don't think they were ever a family to Sirius, the Potters were."

"Mr. B-, Sirius said he'd gone to confront Peter. He said he wanted to help him, to try and convince him to come back to our side. That he would protect him."

Moony nodded. "That sounds like Sirius. It was his greatest asset as a person, but perhaps his greatest flaw as an auror, his loyalty to his friends. He would never hear one word said against Remus. The number of fights I had to pull him out of," he said shaking his head with a smile. "So, yes, I could see him wanted to help Peter. I can see him believing he could help that bloody rat."

"And we all thought he was guilty of those terrible murders."

"No, the people who knew him knew he was innocent. What's going to happen to Pettigrew?" Moody asked.

"He'll be held here at the Ministry until his trial."

"And Sirius?"

"He's free do as he pleases. All the charges against him have been dropped and his assets unfrozen."

Moony nodded. "Good. I'll pop over to Potter's house and talk to him in a week or so. It's been a good day Amelia, a good day indeed. Good night," he said walking out the door.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: A fair few 'F-words' dropped in this one chapter. Appropriate given the situation (Voldemort and Sirius) but just give you the heads up.

 **Chapter 7**

It had been a hellish six weeks, but at least it was over. He understood why Dumbledore had requested it and it wasn't as if there were a lot of other candidates. He still couldn't help but feel dirty, ashamed even, to be associating with 'his kind'. Most had become bitter and hateful of the wizarding community, forced to live in the underworld due to the anti-werewolf policies. But then most of them hadn't grown in a loving family, with parents willing to do anything for him. Nor had they been fortunate to be allowed to receive an education. Nor had they been fortunate to have such good friends such as James, Sirius and Peter. He thought sadly of the last two. Their deaths had both hit James and himself hard. He like James had never believed the rumours about Sirius. He knew his friend. He knew his friend would die before betrayed his friends.

"A pint of Doombar, please," Remus said, leaning against the bar. The Windsor Castle, one of the many muggle establishments the Maunders had discovered in their post school years. The war against Voldemort had begun to seep its way into the muggle world, but the muggles didn't know what it was. There had been a few unexplained murders, but nothing really to trouble them. It had probably been the reason the Maunders had sought out the muggle establishments, they could enjoy a drink where the all-consuming that enveloped wizarding world had not infiltrated the muggle world.

He found himself looking around the pub, at its various kooks and crannies; at the oak panels, leading to small rooms, hiding away other patrons. The wolf ears picking up on the various conversations, some of joy, some of sorrow, some of confusion. They sharpened when he heard a familiar voice. A smile found its way to his scarred face. 'James' he thought, at least he could share a pint with his greatest friend before turning in his report to Dumbledore. Another voice joined the conversation. It was softer than he'd ever heard it, but there was no mistaking it.

"It cannot be. It's impossible," he whispered.

"That'll be £2.50."

"What?" Remus stammered.

"Everything alright mate? You look like you've just seen a ghost," the barman asked. "Its £2.50."

"I'm okay, thanks," Remus replied, nodding as he handed the crumpled note over. "Keep the change."

Taking a long salving sip of his pint, he closed his eyes for a moment before looking towards the oak panel. It was impossible. That friend had died thirteen years and nearly seven weeks ago. Taking a breath, he ducked low to step through the low doorway.

"Remus!" James exclaimed standing and greeting his old friend. "Good to see you again mate!"

"Good to be back," Remus managed.

"Hi Moony," Sirius said softy, stepping out from the shadows.

"I-Its, it can't be," Remus stammered, barely aware of James taking the pint from his hand. "How?"

Sirius looked down for a moment as he struggled with the question, but before he could answer he was pulled into a fierce brotherly hug.

"Oh Padfoot," Remus whispered, tears beginning to stream down his face. "You're alive. You're back."

"Remus let the man breathe."

"Oh yes, sorry," Remus said stumbling over his words. He took a moment to look his friend up and down. At the too pale skin. At the too thin frame. But what hit Remus more than anything else was the deeply haunted look in friend's eyes. "Fuck, you look like death warmed up."

"Cheers Moony, you don't exactly look a picture of health yourself," Sirius counted with a grin.

"Piss off Padfoot," Remus replied grinning. "Oh Sirius thank god. Just, wow, you're alive."

"So, what have you been up to?" Sirius asked cautiously as he sat down.

"Hanging out with my 'own kind'," Remus said darkly.

"I'm sorry Remus, I didn't-"

"No Sirius, don't worry about it," Remus replied waving his hand. "I don't like it but it's necessary. We can't let what happened before ever happen again."

"But there's got to be another way!"

"Mate, how many werewolves do you know?"

"Good point"

"Sirius, do you know what happened to Peter?" Remus asked.

"U-mm, I-I got to go to the toilet," Sirius said as he staggered up and stumbled towards the doorway.

"Sirius?" Remus called out.

"Let him go," James said placing a hand on the taller man's shoulder. "Let him go, he needs his space."

"What? What did I say?" Remus replied looking utterly bewildered.

"It's not your fault, you weren't to know."

"What is it? It's something to do with Peter, isn't it?" Remus demanded. "Did Sirius see Peter die?"

"No," James said darkly. "Peter betrayed us."

"What?" Remus exclaimed, confusion etched across his features. He took a moment to observe his friend. "Peter did that to Sirius?"

"He certainly played apart"

"Why?" Remus hissed, feeling anger bubbling very close to the surface.

"He was our secret keeper remember? You know the Fidelius Charm was never broken, Sirius never broke. He never gave our location to Voldemort."

"Fuck! He looks like death warmed up."

"Trust me; he looks a hundred times better than he did."

"I'm going to kill that rat," Remus growled.

"You're going to have a hard job doing that, he's serving a lifetime sentence at Azkaban," James explained.

"Sorry about that," Sirius said softly as he slowly walked through the doorway.

"No, you have nothing to be sorry for," Remus said rising to meet his friend. "Shall we get some food? I'm bloody hungry and you look like you need a decent meal."

"I don't think they serve raw steaks at this establishment," Sirius said with a grin. "We could ask if they do a steak tartare. We can hang out at the next full moon as well."

James and Remus exchanged glances for a moment. "No," Remus started. "Not next full moon, but the one after that sure. You need to get your strength up before we do that again."

"I just want things to go back to way things were before any of this shite happened," Sirius mumbled into his hands.

"I know mate, so do I. But the full moon after this one, I promise we'll do it together. Me, you and James," Remus reassured.

"Thanks Moony," Sirius replied with a small smile. "So, shall we order this food or not. I'm bloody starving."

* * *

"Are you sure about this?" Dumbledore asked again, holding a small vial of silvery gas substance.

"Yes," Sirius replied determinedly.

Dumbledore nodded. Stepping forward he poured the substance into the Pensieve. "Sirius are you ready?" Watching Sirius nod, he dived into the silvery liquid.

Sirius closed his eyes tightly as the familiar, decaying stench invaded his senses. The sound of dripping water running down the walls felt like daggers to his mind.

"Sirius, are you okay?"

Sirius blinked his eyes as the hellishly familiar slime covered brick walls assaulted his vision. He felt pile rise in his throat, he knew it was just a memory, but it felt so real.

 _Sirius sat in the corner of the darken room, his knees drawn tightly to his chest, waiting for the enviable. He would never give the information Voldemort seek. He would never betray his friends. Hearing familiar footsteps, footsteps that shouldn't be associated with this place, he slowly raised his head. He winced as the door at the end of the cell was swung open._

" _Up! Get up," the short blading man wheezed._

" _Why? Why Wormy?" Sirius asked unmoving._

" _He's going to kill you. Just give the Dark Lord their location. He'll spare your life."_

" _Then he'll just have to kill me. I'll never betray my friends, I'd die before I did," Sirius said fiercely._

" _Why? He'll kill you, and then he'll find and kill them. Tell him and he'll spare your life, you can ask him to spare their lives," Peter wheezed._

" _No! I'll never join him. I'll never sell my friend out to Voldemort. I'd rather be tortured every day for the rest of my life, than betray them," Sirius hissed. "Peter, what happened to you? You used to be a good person. You can still do the right thing. Get me out of there, and I swear we will protect you. I'll protect you. You were just scared. You're a good person, Wormy."_

" _No, I was just weak," Peter replied looking at his friend in sick, twisted way. "I gave you your chance, but you didn't listen. Cruico!"_

 _Sirius collapsed to the damp, grim covered ground as an invisible force took hold of his body. As if several people were taking his body and twisting it in multiple directions, whilst stabbing him repeatedly with white hot knives. He clenched his jaw tightly, fighting the urge to scream. He refused to give them the satisfaction. He knew he was going to die. He knew he would never see his friends again, but he was never going to let them break him._

" _So, you finally decided to join in the fun."_

 _Violently shaking his drew his knees up to his chest as he tried to take ragged breaths. The curse may have lifted but the effects still lingered. Now to add to his hellish situation, his deranged cousin had turned up._

" _Little cousin, I hear you are denying the Dark Lord," Bellatrix Lestrange breathed in a high pitched giggle._

" _That makes two of us. Does the Dark Lord deny you his body?" Sirius counted with a grin._

" _Fuck off!"_

" _Oh, I hit a nerve? He thinks his half-blood body is too good for you? I guess that hits a nerve. Our family taught us pure bloody is equal to nothing and then there is him, a half-blood, denying you Bellatrix Lestrange, a pure-blood, sex. You want to bare his children, but he won't even look at you. He has his eyes on that muggle, rather than you."_

" _Frangeretur," Bellatrix hissed._

" _Oh, I think I really did hit a nerve," Sirius winced as he felt a couple of ribs break. A small bead of blood trickled from the corner of his mouth. "You want to bare his child, but he won't even look at you, let alone touch you. He considers some muggle woman, more womanly than you. He considers her blood purer than yours."_

 _Sirius curled his hands into fists and drew his knees to his chest as the first wave of pain hit. It was true; you really had to mean it when you cast an unforgiveable. Wormy's curse had hurt but nothing like Bellatrix's and Voldemort's, well that took it to another level._

" _Bella, leave him," a cold, high voice asked entering the room._

" _Yes, sorry master," Bellatrix whispered, sweeping out of the way. "I tried master, I promised I tried. I tried to make him talk."_

" _I understand," Voldemort replied sweeping into the room. "Mr. Black have you considered my proposal?"_

" _Yes," Sirius breathed. "And you can fuck off. I'll never give you James' location, never you fucking half-blood."_

" _Cruico!" Voldemort said, the words slipping off his tongue as though he was ordering a mug of tea. "Now Mr. Black, where are the Potters?"_

" _What kind of name is 'Lord Voldemort'?" Sirius tautened through clenched teeth, as the curse felt as though it burned through every fibre of his body._

" _Cruico!" Voldemort yelled, his face flashing with fiery rage. "Where are the Potters?"_

" _Fuck off!" Sirius gasped, trying to suck down vial oxygen after the latest attach. He refused to let anyone, especially Lord Voldemort get to him. He was never going to let in break him. He was going win. Well, maybe he wouldn't survive, but at least his job a secret keeper would be fullfilled. His whole life he had wished for a family and when he was sixteen, after one the most hellish situation of his life, he had finally found his family. The Potters had taken him in without question and he wasn't going about to forget that sacrifice. "Fuck off scum. Fuck off you bloody half-blood. You might as well kill me. I'll never betray them. I pity you, as you you'll never understand true friendship."_

" _Cruico!"_

 _The pain was more intense than he had ever experienced. He couldn't breathe; it felt as though his limbs were going to be ripped from his body. He closed his eyes as he tried to think past the pain, at the happier, the happiest times of his life. His friends had their whole childhood to rely on, but he didn't. Hogwarts and the brief three years afterwards were his. He though back to the full moon nights. Nights when they were careless, when they were free. "Never!" he hissed._

" _Why?! I could offer you a seat on my right hand," Voldemort said in the same cold voice. "I just need to know where the Potters are!"_

" _Fuck off! You might as well kill me; I'll never give their location. Just fucking kill me!"_

" _Fine, have it your way," Voldemort replied. He looked at the bloodied man for a moment, knowing his efforts would continue you to be fruitless. "Avada Kedavra"_

 _Sirius took what he thought would be his final breath. He didn't want to die, but if it was going to be anyway, he would choice this, die defencing his friends. He felt an explosion and the force slamming him against the wall. A blinding green light invaded his sight, then nothing. He heard a terrible, painful scream before he watched a ghostly smoke rise from the pile of ropes where Voldemort had been standing. He heard shouts from the death eaters and a gut-wrenching scream from his cousin before the image became black._

"Sirius, Sirius, we can go now."

With more strength than he thought he could muster, he pulled himself out of his memories. Standing on solid ground for a moment, he looked at Dumbledore before his stomach rebelled and he emptied his stomach into the nearest flower pot. "Fuck, sorry, I'm sorry Dumbledore. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to."

"Evanescet," Dumbledore said looking at the pot dismissively. "I don't think you have done any worse than my care for the poor thing."

"What the hell does that mean? What the hell happened?"

"You survived-"

"Fuck it. I know I fucking survived it. I watched my own fucking memories. The bloody bastard performed _Avada Kedavra on me._ There's no known counter curse. There's no known block. No one has known to survive it. How the fuck did I survive it when I could barely breathe?! How the fuck did I kill Voldemort?!"

"Sirius," Dumbledore said sitting down next to the younger man. "I'm sorry I don't know. I will find out though. What are you going to do now? Talk to James and Remus?"

James, he thought, his greatest friend. He would suggest Dumbledore, Madam Pomfrey but he knew no answers would come from those people. Remus, a kind, so misunderstood. Remus would start quoting books and numerous other references. No, as much as he loved and needed his friends, he knew he needed someone else. He needed someone objective. "Moody," he whispered.

"What?" Dumbledore asked.

"I need to talk to Mad-eye."

A/N: Thanks to everyone who has reviewed so far. Cheers Betty.S for the note on the correct spelling of Moody's first name. I've read the books enough you would've thought I would have picked up on it. I guess I will have to read them again


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Firstly, a huge thanks has to go to my beta reader, ambush99, for doing such a fantastic job. Thank you!**

 **Chapter 8**

Taking a lungful of the crisp, December air, he tried to calm himself. How had he, Sirius Black, defeated one of the most powerful wizards of all time? He hadn't been armed and, furthermore, he had barely been conscious. Yet, somehow he had defeated Voldemort. Voldemort had cast a killing curse and he had survived something no one ever had before. Voldemort wasn't exactly a beginner when it came to Avada Kedavra. 'How?' he thought, raking his hands through his dishevelled hair. 'Why?' He needed answers; he needed someone who could be objective, someone with extensive knowledge of dark magic. As much as he needed his friends, they couldn't help him here. Taking one final look at Hogwarts, he found a smile spreading across his face as happier memories pushed some of the tormented, confused ones from the forefront. Leaving the happy memories to linger, he apparated.

Staggering slightly upon landing, he quickly looked around and smiled. It had been years since he had apparated but he still hadn't lost his pinpoint accuracy. Stepping out from behind the bin, he straightened his clothes and walked from the alleyway to the bustling street. The Ministry, he thought, he hadn't been there for over thirteen years. Seeing as he was no longer an employee, he strode to the abandoned phone box. Glancing around, checking no one was looking at him, he quickly slipped in. After dialling the appropriate numbers, he waited for the cool voice.

"Sirius Black to see Alastor Moody."

"Thank you," the cool voice replied. "Please pin the badge to your robes and present you wand for inspection. Goodbye."

Stepping out into the atrium for the first time in thirteen years, it felt as though nothing had changed, yet everything had. He knew he would never be as carefree as he once had been, too much had changed, and too much had happened. He put his head down, trying to avoid the obvious stares and whispering, and quickly walked the short distance to the security desk.

"Wand, please," a bored voice mumbled.

Reluctantly, Sirius carefully placed it on the scales, glaring at the security wizard.

"Thirteen and a half inches, cedar core, phoenix tail. Owner Sirius Bl-" The bored security wizard stopped and looked up for the first time.

"Yes?" Sirius replied, meeting the other man's gaze with a glare.

"Owner Sirius Black," the security wizard finished. "What is the nature of your business?"

"None of yours."

"You'll have to wait here for an escort."

"What?" Sirius exclaimed, fighting the urge to start pacing as the nervous energy continued to build.

"Black?"

Sirius swung around to come face to face with Kingsley Shacklebolt. He had been the year above Sirius at Hogwarts and joined the auror's a year before he did. He hadn't really had much contact with Kingsley, but had considered him a good guy.

Kingsley eyed the younger man for a moment. Considering what he imagined he had been through, he didn't look too bad. Sirius had always been Moody's favourite. Personally, Kingsley didn't hold anything against the man, but he knew the other young recruits had felt jealous about the close mentorship Sirius had with Moody. In his relatively short time in the auror's office, Sirius had become a bit of a legend; often out thinking, out duelling aurors twenty years his senior. "Do you want me to escort you down to the office?" he finally said.

"Yes," Sirius breathed. "That would be great."

"I've got it from here, Jones," Kingsley called out. "So, how's it been?"

"Fine!" Sirius scowled at Kingsley's look. "You're asking about a long stretch of time. What do you want to know about? The thirteen years I was tortured? It just feels like it's been merged into one, long, hellish nightmare. The month I was in a coma? Strangely I don't remember any of that. Or the last two weeks which have been," Sirius paused, taking a breath for a moment. "I don't know."

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry."

"Shit, no I'm sorry Kingsley. It's just been-"

"Hard? Weird? A lot to take in?" Kingsley offered.

"Yeah, all of the above," Sirius agreed. "How's it been with you?"

"Since you-know-who died, there hasn't been a lot, not that you would know from the way Moody drives us."

Sirius chuckled. "Constant vigilance!"

"Pretty much."

"What did everyone think about, well, you know?"

"In the Ministry, most thought you did it, but in our office, a couple maybe. However, the vast majority thought you were completely innocent."

Sirius nodded. "How's the Ministry with Fudge running it?"

Kingsley exhaled sharply. "God, don't even get me started. To say he's a buffoon would be an insult to a buffoon; a career politician, with no clue."

Sirius stopped as they arrived at the entrance to the aurors' office. A place where he had shared mixed emotions; excitement, fear, sadness and some of the best years of his life.

"Sirius, are you alright?"

"Yeah," Sirius replied slowly. "It's just weird being back." Pushing open the door, he strode in, trying to ignore the silence that suddenly descended on the office, before everyone broke into a spontaneous applause.

"Alright, that's enough. Get back to work!" Moody yelled from the stairs leading to his office. "Black! My office, now!"

"Good luck," Kingsley said in his ear.

Feeling slightly embarrassed by the attention he'd suddenly received, Sirius made his way through the gauntlet of people, who seemed to have made him a guard of honour. He nodded and muttered thanks as he made his way through the crowd.

"A hero's welcome for being a cocky, little shite," Moody said when Sirius finally made it to his office.

"Alastor, I-"

"What the fuck were you thinking, going to meet Peter by yourself? Didn't I teach you anything?! For fuck's sake Black, you could have got yourself killed!"

"Moody, I-"

"No, you will bloody listen to me, Black. I can't even begin to describe how fucking stupid that was. You're here because of dumb, sodding luck."

"No," Sirius finally snapped. "I'm here because I didn't want my best mate's kid, my godson, to be in that fucking tournament. But hey, I fucked up there. I'm here because I wanted to warn my best friend that he still has a fucking target on his back. I'm here because I needed to warn people that that filthy, traitorous rat is still alive."

"Good," Moody replied in a much calmer voice than before.

"Good? What the fuck, Mad-Eye?!" Sirius growled, breathing heavily. "Whatever you've got planned for me, just fucking do it. It'll pale in comparison to what I've been through over the last thirteen years."

"Sit down laddie, I'm not going to do anything to you," Moody said calmly. "I was worried they had broken you."

"No, your training wouldn't allow that," Sirius said with a slight glare.

"And your bloody stubborn nature," Moody finished as he patted the younger man's shaking shoulder. "How are you?"

"Fine"

"No, you're not. I wouldn't expect you to be now, but you will be." Moody paused for a moment before continuing. "So what are you doing here?"

The self-doubt began to tug at the edges, threatening to consume him. It had seemed such a good idea at the time to share his memories with Moody, but now, standing in the other man's office, he wasn't sure he could. "I just thought I'd pop by."

"That's bullshit and you know it. Laddie, I've known you too long. I've fought too many battles with you for you to hide stuff from me. What is it?" Moody asked softy.

"I went to Dumbledore and…" Sirius started and then stopped. He looked down for a moment as he struggled with the words. Slowly he extracted the small vial from his robes and handed it to Moody. "It's probably easier if you look at these."

Moody frowned. "What is it?"

"My memories from, well you'll see," Sirius replied nervously.

"Do you want to join me?"

"No, twice was enough," Sirius replied in a near whisper.

"Okay," Moody replied sympathetically as he patted Sirius' shoulder. "Stay here laddie, I'll be back shortly."

"Thank you," Sirius said quietly as he leant against the desk. 'I hope you won't think differently of me when you return', he thought. He was suddenly aware of how quiet the office was. The Sneakoscopes were silent; he couldn't hear the bustle of the large office outside, or the London traffic that rumbled outside the walls. He started to look around the office, trying to ignore his ragged breaths. Moody's office was exactly as he had imagined it. The walls bare, save a few tattered 'wanted' posters. He wondered for a moment if his had joined the collection. The foe-glass which, to be frank, still freaked him out, stood at the far corner of the room. Every available surface was covered in either old, yellowing stacks of parchment or Sneakoscopes. A slight pop in the corner of the room pulled him out of his thoughts, as Moody reappeared. Moody seemed several shades paler than he had before entered the pensieve.

"Merlin, fucking hell!" Moody exclaimed, taking a long swig from his hip flask.

"Moody?" Sirius asked nervously.

"Come on laddie, why don't you sit down before you pass out!" Moody said reassuringly, as he guided the shaking man to the sofa.

"Moody?" Sirius repeated, as he nervously interlaced his long fingers. "Should I. Maybe. I…" He stopped, his words coming out in small punches, not making sense.

"Sirius, you didn't do anything wrong," Moody replied, wrapping an arm around the trembling man's shoulders. "You didn't do anything wrong. Okay, maybe taunting your deranged cousin like that may have not been the most intelligent of ideas, but it was understandable given the situation."

"Voldemort-" Sirius choked, as he struggled to regain his composure.

"I don't know laddie but, from the look of things, the killing curse rebounded off you!"

"What? Sirius exclaimed. "How is that possible? There's no block, there's no defence!"

"I don't know Sirius, but I will find out, I promise," Moody reassured. "Do you mind if I keep these for a bit?" He finished by holding the small vial up to the weak, winter London sunlight.

Sirius nodded, wishing to get as far away from the memories as possible. "So, when do you want my decision?" he asked rapidly changing the subject.

"Your decision?"

"If you don't want me back in the department, that's fine, but just let me know."

Moody sighed heavily. "Of course I want you as an Auror, you're the best we have, but I don't want you back yet." He looked at Sirius' dejected face. "Laddie, you need to live again; visit your friends and family. Go to the pub. Play Quidditch. Do whatever you need to do, but I'm not accepting any decision from you until the end of February."

"Moody?!"

"No, that decision is final."

Sirius exhaled slowly, as he felt some of the tension leave his body. "How's the department?" he finally asked.

"Okay I guess. I'm lumped with a lot of 'yes' men and we haven't recruited anyone new for three years."

"Why?"

"No one is good enough," Moody replied.

"Have the Ministry changed the entry requirements?"

"No, I don't think they are good enough. You know better than most how dangerous this job is," Moody replied tensely. In reality he was looking for another Sirius Black. Another recruit he could mentor, so eventually they would take a prominent position at the Ministry. The Ministry was full of 'yes' men and women, as well as career politicians; it needed more people like Sirius Black. People who would buck the trend. People who would challenge the career politicians. "Your cousin is doing well; bloody clumsy, but she's not as bad as the rest."

"My cousin?"

"Nymphadora Tonks."

Sirius smiled as he remembered the bright, bubbly Metamorphmagus. With ten years between them, they had never been at Hogwarts together, but he had heard she had continued his version of the Black family tradition; not getting sorted into Slytherin and generally causing mischief. "Keep her safe," he finally said.

"Sirius, you know-"

"I know," Sirius said, cutting Moody off. "It's just she's my favourite cousin's daughter. She comes from the good part of the family."

Moody nodded. "So, what are you going to do, now you are head of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black?"

"Honestly, I don't know," Sirius replied tensely. He hadn't even considered going back to 12 Grimmauld Place. The memories from the place were still too painful, still too raw.

"And now?"

"Now?"

"Yes now. What are you going to do when you leave this office?"

"I don't know," Sirius replied quietly, rubbing a hand over his tense face.

"Talk to Potter and Remus," Moody suggested. "Potter trusted you with his and his family's lives. Allow him to help you. Dumbledore and I are looking into the technical details, but this is too big a thing for you to deal with alone. It didn't kill you the first time; don't let the memory of it destroy you."


	9. Chapter 9

A/N: A huge thank you to Ambush99 for her fantastic betaing skills.

A/N2: A repost as I stupidly uploaded the wrong version. Sorry!

 **Chapter 9**

He leant against the wall and rubbed his tired, tense face. It had taken him a while to get out of the office, with people expressing their relief and thanks for his return. Others insisting they met for a drink or two to celebrate his return. He managed to smile and nod at the right places, making non-committal responses. It wasn't as though he wasn't grateful, it was just he still struggled with human interaction. James, Lily and Remus understood. They seemed to understand how utterly draining he found it, not that he need to put on an act with them. The only human interaction he had had over the last thirteen years had been with captors; their harsh words and harder actions. His nightmares would wake him nightly then, unable to sleep, he would sit, knees drawn to his chest, and stare out of the window, hoping the stars would answer his questions. He thought knowing what the fragmented memory with green light was would bring closure to his confusion, but now he felt utterly exposed.

"Sirius?"

He slowly lifted his head as a familiar voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He found himself staring at an approaching figure, unable to form any words to greet his friend.

"Sirius? Mate, what are you doing here? Are you okay?" James said urgently, his concern rising with every moment.

"James, I-"

"Padfoot, what happened?"

"James, I need to speak to you and Remus," Sirius swallowed, finally managing to form a sentence.

"Of course," James replied, laying a hand on his friend's shoulder. "We'll meet him at mine."

"Mate, I don't think I could floo or apparate without throwing up right now."

James nodded, his brow creasing with concern. "Do you think you could make it to the Knight's Templar?"

"Yeah," Sirius replied in a shaky voice.

"Good, I'll get Remus to meet us there."

Twenty minutes later, the three Marauders sat around a secluded table at the back of the pub. Being mid-afternoon during the week, it was near empty save for a couple of tourists. James watched his friend nervously pick and then shred a beer mat. From previous experience he knew pushing his friend was the worst thing he could do. Sirius would then clam up and retreat into himself. He knew he had to give his friend time and space, then eventually, he hoped, his friend would tell him what was wrong.

"So, I've been having these memories," Sirius started in a soft voice. So soft the others almost missed it. "Well there was one, I-"

James reached over and placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. Catching his eye he nodded encouragingly.

Taking a moment to compose himself, Sirius licked his lips as he fought to find the words to continue. "There was one memory in particular I didn't understand. I thought if I went to Dumbledore and used..." Sirius stopped and picked up a new beer mat, nervously twirling it between his fingers.

"The pensieve?" Remus suggested.

Sirius nodded as he started to pick at the beer mat, pulling bits from the corners. "You're going to hate me."

"Why would we do that, mate?"

"Sirius, Sirius, look at me mate," Remus asked. "Padfoot, I get you're nervous. Believe me I understand. I was terrified you would find out about my furry problem and abandon me. I thought I'd lose the best friends I'd ever had, the only friends I'd ever had. But you didn't, in fact you did the complete opposite and did everything you could to make my transformations easier. So why would we hate you?"

Tearing a large chuck off the beer mat, he looked up at his friends. "Voldemort used the killing curse on me," he finally choked out.

"Fuck," James exclaimed, not knowing what else to say. "How...?"

"I don't know. It has to be, there can't be any other reason other than I have dark magic inside of me. I'm evil. I've got to go, I can't be around you," Sirius stumbled out as he started to stand.

"No," James said as both he and Remus placed their hands on their friend's shoulders, forcing him to sit. "No, I am not going to let you run off into self-imposed solitude because of some half arsed, ill thought out, bullshit theory of yours. Not after what you have been through. Not after what you have sacrificed for my family and me."

"If you were evil you would never have become an Animagi to help me during my transformations. You would have sold my secret out at the earliest opportunity. If you were evil, you probably would have joined in with a little werewolf hunting," Remus said simply.

"What?! No Remus, I would never!"

"If you were truly evil you would have broken the Fidelius Charm at the earliest opportunity. You would have hand delivered Harry to Voldemort," James continued.

"What?! No James!"

"Precisely," Remus countered. "You did the complete opposite. We've all got both light and dark inside us. What matters is the part we choose to act on. That's who we really are. That's what you told me when I was worried about being a werewolf. With the choices you have made, it is obvious what you have chosen to act on."

"So where is this crap coming from?" James asked. "We may have been a couple of twats at school. We may have crossed the line a few times with Snape; he probably did as well. I know that doesn't excuse our behaviour, but it doesn't make us evil."

"I know, it's just," Sirius sighed as he dropped the final piece of shredded beer mat on the table.

"What is it Sirius? What else happened?"

"When Voldemort cast that spell, it hit me and well, Moody reckons it rebounded off me and hit him."

"Merlin!" Remus exclaimed, his hand covering his mouth.

"Shit! Mate, you defeated Voldemort!"

"Yeah, it looks that way," Sirius replied quietly.

"Then your theory of being evil makes even less sense! You defeated the most evil wizard ever to walk this planet!" James exclaimed. "Fuck, Sirius, that makes you anything but evil."

"How do you explain it then? I was unarmed, fuck I was barely conscious. How the hell did I do it?"

"That I don't know, but thank god you did. Dumbledore and Moody will figure it out and I can guarantee it won't be because you are evil," Remus reassured.

"Sirius mate, sometime you have really crap ideas, and this has to be right up there with the shittiest of them. Moody always said you had more lives than a cat. I know that doesn't explain what happened," James quickly added, holding up his hands as Sirius began to interject. "But it's a hell of a lot better than your crappy theory of being evil. Anyway, what should we do now? "

"Don't you have work?"

"Yeah, but I'm discussing possible policy changes with a werewolf," James explained with a grin. "I guess we could have another here."

"Can you remember when we came here after taking down Dodds?" Sirius started.

"Yeah, when you tried to drink the place dry," James filled in.

"Ha!" Sirius exclaimed. "I wasn't the one trying to order a shot of every single thing in the bar!"

"It was my first take down! You made me drink the foul pint with foul muggle snacks in it."

"Scampi fries," Sirius informed him.

"Yeah, telling me some crap that it was an initiation. Moody threatened to skin me alive, he just growled at you. Bloody teacher's pet!"

Sirius grinned. "And you weren't McGonagall's."

Sdf

It had been a strange last few months, full of every emotion he had thought possible. From the lows of discovering what had happened to his friends, such as the Longbottoms. He didn't think it possible to hate his deranged cousin more than he did. The guilt that he had survived unscathed, and they hadn't, ate away at him. Then there was the confusion and fear as he continued to deal with his nightmares. They had admittedly lessened of late, but it didn't stop them from haunting him. Then there was the tide of happiness that broke through all other emotions as he thought of his friends and family. How James' mother had held him for at least half an hour, refusing to let him go. Christmas had been the carefree, happy time he had remembered of old. At times it felt as though nothing had happened. That the horrific years had never taken place. But they had happened. They were part of his past, he was just not going to let them rule him. That's why he was at Hogwarts on the cool, crisp February morning. Later he would cheer his godson in the second task, but before that he was going to talk to Moody and Dumbledore. Moody as he had decided to re-join the aurors. The time Moody had given him to 'learn to live again' had only solidified his decision. He wanted to fight for the justice of his fallen friends. He wanted to fight for the innocence of the younger generation. His godson and friends shouldn't have to be forced to grow up as fast as his generation.

Then there was Dumbledore. He had owled him a couple of days ago, claiming he had discovered the reason behind his survival. If it was a strength he would build on it, if it was a weakness he would quash it. He was going to defeat Voldemort once and for all, then bring his followers to justice.

It was still early, so the grounds were silent. In recent times he had become somewhat of a celebrity as people discovered his daring escape from the hands of the death eaters. His survival from Voldemort's killing curse remained a secret between James, Lily, Remus, Moody, Dumbledore and himself. And that's how he intended it to remain. Standing outside Dumbledore's office for a moment, he wondered what information lay within. He exhaled sharply and knocked. Whatever it was, it was only information. The event hadn't killed him and he wasn't going to let whatever Dumbledore told him either.

"Come in," a distant voice called out as the door swung open.

Sirius strode up the stairs into the familiar office. "Good morning," he greeted.

"Good morning, Sirius. You got my owl?" Dumbledore enquired.

"Yes."

Dumbledore nodded. "Would you like a tea or coffee?"

"Tea please," Sirius replied politely, knowing he didn't need anything else to stimulate his nerves. Talking a seat in one of the comfortable chairs beside the fire, he took a careful sip of the scalding liquid before continuing. "You mentioned you had a development."

"I did. Would you like to know the nature of it?"

Sirius cocked his head and smiled slightly. "As good as your tea is, it isn't the reason I am here. So, yes, I would like to know your discovery."

"I believe you survived because of the Fidelius charm."

"The Fidelius charm? How?"

"The Fidelius charm requires a person, a secret keeper, to hold a secret-"

Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "Dumbledore, I was a secret keeper for over thirteen years. I think I know who and what it entails."

"Of course. Your refusal to divulge the secret to Voldemort or any of his followers, in essence your love for the Potters, caused an ancient form of magic to be performed. Your sacrifice, your love for the Potters caused a shield, if you will, to protect you and deflect the curse."

Sirius nodded and rubbed his face for a moment as he attempted to process the latest revelation. "When the curse hit Voldemort, his body seemed to dissolve and a smoky substance was released. What was that?" he asked, feeling he already knew the answer.

"I believe it was a fragment of his soul."

"So, you don't believe he truly died?"

"No, I don't."

"I wondered if he was still alive, or it was my cousin's deranged love for him willing him to be alive. I guess even Bella gets things occasionally," Sirius replied bitterly, as he started to stand. "Well, thank you Dumbledore, this has been of great help."

"What are you going to do now?"

"Find the bastard and bring him to justice," Sirius replied determinedly. "But right now, I'm going to watch my godson win the second task."

"I'll be joining you shortly," Dumbledore said, shaking Sirius' hand. "I am sure Harry will do well."

Sirius shook his head. "You and I know he shouldn't be in that tournament. He was entered against his will; exceptions should have been made."

"Bartemius Crouch said, as Harry's name had been pulled from the Goblet of Fire, he was bound to compete."

"Since when has Crouch been fair? I question the legality of the contract, seeing as it was made with an underage wizard," Sirius growled. "But what is done, is done. We just have to ensure Harry survives this great injustice. I will protect him with my life if I have to." Without a further word he strode out of Dumbledore's office before his anger could spill over. Dumbledore, Crouch, Bagman and the rest of them should have defended Harry, they should have protected him. They should have fought for him so he didn't have to compete, but they had failed him. He had spent thirteen years protecting his godson and he wasn't about to give up now. The Fidelius charm may have been lifted but it wouldn't stop him from protecting Harry, even if it cost him his life.

Rounding the corner, he nearly collided with Moody. "Mad-eye," he greeted.

"Sirius, what are you doing here?"

"I had an appointment with Dumbledore."

Moody nodded. "Are you going to watch the second task?"

"Of course. Moody, I want my old job back," Sirius said fiercely. Feeling Moody's eyes boring into him, he matched the look.

"I'll see you Monday at eight o'clock. Don't be late."


	10. Chapter 10

As always, a huge thanks to Ambush99 for betaing this!

 **Chapter 10**

Moody's acceptance felt as though a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Each piece of the jigsaw was beginning to fall back into place. Six months ago he had thought he would die in that place. Then he had seen his cousin's newspaper and the urge to fight for his survival had been rekindled. It was as if a fire had been lit within him. Through the long months of escape, the fire refused to die, as did he. He knew he had to fight to get back and warn his friends. He had survived the torture, he had survived the brutal escape, he had spent four months convalescing but now he was ready to fight once again.

He winced slightly as a smaller figure collided with him. Looking down at the breathless figure, he found a smile. "Harry."

"Sirius!" Harry replied breathlessly. "The second task. I'm late. I-I-"

"Harry," Sirius said calmly, shaking his godson's shoulders. "Harry, take a breath, okay. They won't start without you. Just breathe for me kid."

"Sirius, I'm so screwed," Harry finally managed.

"Why's that?" Sirius questioned.

"It took me ages to work out the clue; well I didn't start working on it until after Christmas. I was so happy to have passed the first task and then it was Christmas. Then the egg wouldn't stop wailingly, so Cedric told me to take a bath. Then the egg gave me a riddle. I eventually figured that out. Ron, Hermione and I spent ages it the library researching ideas but we couldn't find one that I could achieve in the time I had left. So I was in the library with Ron and Hermione last night but they had to meet Dumbledore. I fell asleep but I was woken up by Dobby and he gave me Gillyweed. I think they've captured Ron and I have to get him from the lake," Harry said as the fear and emotion tumbled out.

"Harry," Sirius said gently, pulling him into a hug. "You're going to be fine."

"I'm scared, Sirius," Harry admitted, burying his head into Sirius' chest. "I don't want to do it."

"I know."

"I don't want to disappoint them."

"Harry, you mum and dad, your grandparents, we are all so proud of you. As to the rest of them, screw them. I'd like to see them stand up to the pressures and tasks as well as you have."

"It just doesn't feel enough."

"I know, sometimes in life it doesn't. But you are so brave, Harry. You are smart, kind and brave."

Harry found a shy smile. "Then why do I feel scared?"

"We all feel scared sometimes. Your mum and dad, your grandparents, even Dumbledore gets scared. I'm scared of losing you; I'm scared of losing your parents and your grandparents. I'm scared of my dreams," Sirius admitted. "I'm scared of a lot of stuff Harry."

"But you seem, so, I don't know. So, calm. How do you do it?"

"I think of all the good times in my life. I think of all the times I was happy and carefree, and I hold on to those. I don't let my fears rule me. It's sometimes not enough, but..." Sirius stopped and sighed for a moment. "Don't let your fears rule you, Harry. Listen to them, sure, but don't let them rule you."

Harry nodded determinedly. "What shall I do?"

"You mentioned you were going to use Gillyweed."

"Yes," Harry replied in a calmer voice. "I don't know what to do with it. Dobby gave it to me."

"Dobby?"

"He's a house elf. He used to be the Malfoy's until I freed him," Harry explained.

Sirius frowned. "Dobby, a strange elf?" he remembered.

Despite the situation, Harry found himself laughing. "That's one way to describe him. Sirius, what do I do with Gillyweed?"

Sirius looked at the large handful of slimy weed in Harry's hand for a moment. "You eat it. It will, as the name suggests, give you gills."

"Will it work?"

"I've never used it myself but I know others who have. You'll be fine Harry but if you really don't want to do it I'll find a way to get you out of it."

"No," Harry said shaking his head. "No, I'll do it. I need to do it."

"Okay," Sirius said carefully, as he wrapped a protective arm around his godson's shoulders. "Harry, you know it's okay to be scared. It's perfectly normal; I'd be more worried if you weren't."

"I feel so stupid. The other champions seem so…"

"Composed?" Sirius offered, as they made their way through the crowds down towards the lake. "What did I tell you before, it's all an act. I can tell you, they are as scared as you."

Harry nodded, pausing as they got to the tent. "Thank you Sirius."

"Don't mention it," Sirius replied, pulling Harry into another hug. "You're going to be fine. There are people stationed around in case you get into trouble."

"You're late!" Crouch snapped as Harry and Sirius entered the tent.

"I'm sorry, it's my fault," Sirius said pleasantly, but his cold glare told a different story. "Harry, I've got to go but remember what I said."

Harry nodded nervously, his throat now too tight to talk. He wished Sirius would stay, but knew he couldn't.

Sirius patted Harry's shoulder as he took one final look at the room. He noted nothing of great significance, apart from two people. He stole two careful glances before retreating out of the tent. Igor Karkaroff appeared shifty and nervous. When he had been an auror, the first time, thirteen years ago, he had started to build a case against Karkaroff. He had been sure that Karkaroff had been a death eater and was waiting to collect the final piece of evidence before he presented the case. Then, of course, he had been kidnapped. What had happened to his case he did not know, but it was evident by Karkaroff's presence that he was a free man. Then there was Crouch. Crouch and he had never seen eye to eye, but there was something else. He shook his head as he tried to dismiss the thought. He could have sworn Crouch was under the Imperius Curse. He shook his head again. The last time he had listened to his gut it damn near got him killed. It was impossible, he may have hated Crouch, he doubted he would ever succumb to the Imperius Curse.

"Take your time, why don't you," James said as he tried and failed to keep the fear from his voice. "Do you know how many people I had to fight off?"

"Given the green tinge to your face, I suggest not a lot," Sirius said with a grin. "You look like you're about to throw up."

"Piss off Padfoot. What did Dumbledore and Moody have to say?"

"Moody, I start on Monday. Dumbledore, it's complicated, I'll explain later," Sirius said simply. "Oh, I saw Harry on the way down."

"How was he?" Lily demanded.

"Fine. Nervous as hell, but okay. He's got a good plan," Sirius replied. "I walked him to the tent."

"Thank you Sirius," Lily breathed. "I don't know why they don't let us do that, especially as he's underage!"

"I know. Everyone seems to take what Crouch says as gospel, but-" Sirius stopped and shook his head. "Do you trust someone's knowledge of magical law who scraped a pass on the fifth and final attempt?"

"Do you know what he's going to do?" James asked.

"Harry? Yes," Sirius replied. "All you need to know is Harry will be safe. He's got a good head on his shoulders and a good idea. If it doesn't work, there are people who will help him. He will be fine."

"Sirius?"

"I'd never let anything happen to him. I'd die before that happened," Sirius replied defiantly.

James swallowed. "Sorry mate, it's just I feel so-"

"Helpless?" Sirius offered.

"Yeah," James managed before Bagman's projected voice filled the stands. There was no going back. The second task was about to begin.

As the minutes ticked by the bile in his stomach began to grow. What the hell was he thinking? His godson had said he'd been given Gillyweed by a former elf of the Malfoys and he had accepted that easier than he would a free pint. What the hell was in that weed? Was it weed at all? As the first champion, Cedric, broke the surface, his fear dropped a couple of notches. A couple of minutes passed as they still awaited Krum and Harry. Then Krum surfaced, outside the time given. Why the hell hadn't he checked the Gillyweed? Harry had told him Malfoy's old house elf had given it to him. What if the elf had poisoned it? Before he could he address his fears, Harry, along with two others, surfaced. He let his head sink into his hands for a moment as the tension ebbed from his body, before he joined everyone else on their feet.

"He did it. He bloody did!"

Sirius winced slightly as his best friend yelled at him before pulling him into a bone crushing hug. "Of course he did." He watched as Lily and then James began to disappear into the crowd, before a hand flew out and dragged him towards them.

"Come on Sirius," James called out dragging his friend through the crowd.

Sirius found himself hanging back for a moment, feeling as if he was intruding upon a private moment. He wondered briefly whether, if he had done anything differently in his life, his parents would have loved him like James and Lily loved Harry. If they would have worried about him when he had gone missing.

"Sirius, you idiot, come here!" James yelled pulling him into the group.

"Sirius!" Harry exclaimed hugging his godfather. "I thought I screwed up but I'm joint first place with Cedric!"

"I knew you could do it!" Sirius replied warmly, returning the hug. "I presume someone will be raiding the kitchens."

"Fred and George are."

"It's going to be quite a party then. You'd better get going," Sirius replied, noting a couple of kids, who he presumed were Harry's friends. "You don't want to keep the party waiting."

"Whatever you said to him, thanks," James said draping his arm around his friend's shoulders.

"Don't mention it mate," Sirius said distractedly as he watched Crouch cross the grounds. There was a slight jerk to his stride. He shook his head as he tried to clear his thoughts. He hadn't seen the man in nearly fourteen years, maybe that was how he walked, it didn't mean he was under the Imperius Curse.

"Sirius, you alright mate?"

"Yeah, sorry just thinking."

"Anything you want to talk about?"

"Just thinking about the parties we used to have after Quidditch games," Sirius lied.

James laughed. "Yeah, they were pretty wild. How about we head to the Three Broomsticks and have one of our own?"

"Sounds like a great idea," Sirius replied, fighting to keep the distracted tone from his voice as he watched Crouch disappear from view. "Well, what are you waiting for?!" He found himself grinning as he walked towards the gates with his greatest friends. Finally, it felt like the pieces of his life were coming together again.

Sdfs

"Sirius."

Sirius looked up from the book he was reading to see Kingsley standing in front of him. He had been back at work for a few weeks now, and it was beginning to feel comfortable. He had spent the vast majority of it in the office, but it seemed to be part of the course these days.

"Hi Kingsley, what can I do you for?"

"What are you reading?" Kingsley asked with interest, eyeing the muggle-looking book.

"'Rogue States: The Rule of Force in World Affairs' by Noam Chomsky, it's a muggle strategy book. You can borrow it if you want."

"I would really appreciate that," Kingsley replied. In the short time Sirius had been back, Kingsley had found his wide depth of literary interests fascinating. He read anything from the standard wizard books, to muggle philosophers such as Plato and Aristotle, to muggle history and military books, and anything in between.

"I'm guessing you aren't here to discuss my choice of reading material," Sirius replied lightly, handing the book over.

"Moody wants you to go to the WP meeting."

"The WP?"

"Weekly policy."

Sirius frowned. "Surely, you or Dawlish would be more suited?"

Kingsley shrugged. "I'm just relaying the message."

"When and where?"

"Now, on level one, in the Cabinet Room."

Sirius smirked. "Nothing has changed has it? He still likes to keep you on your toes, doesn't he?"

"Tell me about it!"

"Who attends these meetings?" Sirius asked, as he got this feet.

"The Heads of Division and Minister."

"Great," Sirius said sarcastically, as he pulled on his dragon hide jacket. "Oh, if you ever want to borrow a book, please do."

"I will, thank you," Kingsley replied, watching his colleague start to leave the office. "Knock them dead, Sirius."

Sirius turned and grinned. "I'll do my best," he replied, throwing Kingsley a mock salute.

He nervously tapped his foot as the lift made its way to his destination. What the hell was Moody's agenda? Kingsley, Dawlish, even Tonks probably had more experience, more knowledge of the Ministry's current policies than he did. Did Moody want him to contribute, or sit back and observe? Before he could analysis any further, the lift doors slid open. He made his way calmly down the heavily carpeted corridors until he saw a group of people. Observing the group, he felt slightly underdressed in his more casual attire of boots, jeans, a loose shirt and dragon hide jacket, opposed to the others' more formal wizarding robes.

"Moody sends his apologies. He sent me in his stead," Sirius said as he approached Fudge.

"Ah, welcome," Fudge said with a less than enthusiastic voice.

"Thank you," Sirius replied pleasantly. He took a moment to observe the people around him. Fudge, Crouch, Amelia Bones and others he vaguely remembered from his first time at the Ministry. They were people who could easily be coerced by Fudge and his cronies.

"Well, shall we start this meeting?" Fudge asked, as he led the way into the meeting room.  
Sirius allowed the others to filter in first and take their seats, not knowing if there was an unspoken seating arrangement. Finding a vacant seat between Amelia Bones and Eduardus Limus from the Department of Magical Accidents and Catastrophes, he sat back on the plush, velvet covered chair, interlocked his fingers and observed. Apart from a slight power struggle between Fudge and Crouch, they appeared to agree on most items, with the rest of the room falling in line.

"We come to the last item on the agenda. Lowering the entry age to the auror department." Fudge started.

Sirius looked up. Having been called to the meeting at the last minute, he had not received an agenda.

"All in favour?" Fudge continued.

"I am against it," Sirius interjected, causing the room to become silent.

"Mr. Black, we are voting on the issue," Fudge replied shortly.

"So, we are not debating the issue?!"

"No."

"Why not?"

"The legal case is clear. Under the Magical Law Act of 1745, it is clear we cannot discriminate against an individual's age," Crouch stated pompously.

"Indeed. However, the Underage Act of 1325, Section 1, Clause 2a states no witch or wizard is permitted to perform magic outside of their educational institution. The Protection of Minors Act of 1962 goes into further detail regarding the matter. Unless, of course, you are going to implement the Underage Act's Section 4, Clause 1, that underage witches or wizards may perform magic if they are in extreme danger. So, no. The legal case is not clear, it's shaky at best," Sirius stated fiercely. "I do think this is something which should be subject to debate." He watched as Crouch and Fudge looked increasingly uncomfortable. Any notion of not causing controversy had long since left the room.

"Well, if you insist Mr. Black."

"I do."

"Fine. As I was saying we are looking to reduce the auror entry age as we need more recruits," Fudge started.

"So, you want to weaponise children?" Sirius interrupted.

"What?! That's preposterous," Fudge exclaimed.

"Is it really? I mean that's what you are doing. You want us to pass a law enabling us to use children as, well, essentially soldiers."

"Mr. Black, this is really not the time or the place. You are taking things out of context," Fudge stammered.

Sirius interlaced his fingers and rested his chin on them. He took a moment to observe the spluttering figure in front of him. "Tell me Cornelius, when was the last time you were in combat?" he asked calmly.

"That's hardly relevant," Fudge spluttered.

"Perhaps not, but knowing what it involves could help your understanding. Being there, a moment from death. Knowing one false move, one hesitation could result in your death is incredibly tough, even as an adult. I don't think a child is emotionally equipped to deal with that. I don't think a child should ever have to deal with that."

"We are under pressure to recruit more people to the department!" Fudge exclaimed.

"Fine, let's put morality to one side for one moment, let's discuss politics. During the Goblin Rebellion of 1323, Gliplock used young goblin children. Did it help them? No, they still lost the war. Only they lost countless hundreds of innocents. Gliplock was executed shortly afterwards. It didn't help the Centaurs during their civil war in 984 either," Sirius argued.

"That's history. It has no bearing on today's decision!" Fudge snapped.

"A nation who forgets their past is doomed to repeat it," Sirius countered calmly. "Winston Churchill, the muggle Prime Minister during World War Two said that."

"There has only been one war," Crouch interjected.

"Oh Merlin," Sirius exclaimed as he raked his hands through his long hair. "Are you that disconnected?! We refer to them as 'worlds' but they aren't really. They are just different sections of society within the same world. Any actions we take will affect the muggle society and vice visa."

"I'll have you know we are only countering you-know-who's tactic," Fudge snapped, now purple in the face with anger.

"Really?! You are following the tactics of one of the most evil, murderous pieces of scum alive. An individual who strikes so much fear, that you cannot even mention his name. It's Voldemort by the way. I've faced him, I've fought him and I'll never follow him," Sirius growled back as his grip on his temper began to wane.

"So, why do you think it's a bad idea?!"

Sirius took a breath, as he tried to calm himself. "Why? Because it's immoral, I seriously question the legality of it and strategically it makes no sense."

"I'll guess we'll see! I'm going to put this to the vote," Fudge practically yelled, his eyes bulging. "All in favour of the motion?" He scowled as he noted the two solitary hands. "All against? Fine, motion abstained. That concludes the meeting. We will meet at the same time next week."

Sirius stood with the others. Nodding an acknowledgement at each one in turn, he headed out of the room. He was so fired, he thought. Moody had probably only sent him to casually observe the meeting and report back, but he had ended up in a full-on argument with the Minister of Magic. Well, he would refer to it as a debate, but judging by Fudge's reaction he doubted he'd agreed. It was a shame, Sirius thought, he was really beginning to enjoy the job.


	11. Chapter 11

As always, thank you Ambush99 for betaing this fic!

 **Chapter 11**

Stuffing his hands into his pockets, he wondered what he was going to say to Moody. He could deal with Moody's temper, he just hated the fact he would disappoint the man. He hated the fact he would make his mentor's life harder.

"Can you hold the lift?" a soft female voice called out.

Throwing his hand out, he caught the closing door, forcing it open. "Amelia," he said pleasantly.

"Sirius," Amelia said returning the pleasantry.

"Level 2?"

"Yes please." Amelia watched the auror for a moment. Any physical tell of his time in captivity had gone. The desperately thin, sunken form had been replaced by a lean, muscular form, looking like he was in the prime of his life. His whole demeanour radiated strength and wisdom way beyond his years, something she had only associated with Dumbledore. "That was," she started, "that was a great thing you said in there."

"Thanks," Sirius said shyly. "Too bad I'm going to be fired."

"Why will you be fired?"

"I doubt it's the best of career moves to have made; having a full on argument with a man who ultimately is my boss," Sirius sighed as he leant against the lift walls.

"Argument!? I thought you were just debating a very important topic. It was pretty inspirational to be honest. It's been a while; actually I can't remember the last time someone took Fudge and Crouch on like that."

"Thank you, you're kind," Sirius said smiling. "I guess I'll be remembered as the crazy one hit wonder."

"I think you'll be remembered for far more than that. What you said about you-you, V-V, Voldemort," Amelia eventually managed to stumble out. "What you said about him was so brave."

"He is just another human being. His actions may lead us to think he is something else but he isn't. He needs to be brought to justice for the atrocities he has committed," Sirius said passionately.

"You don't think he died, do you? Fudge refuses to believe anything else."

Sirius bit back the flashback he knew was coming; when Voldemort tried to kill him. He tried to ignore the high, cold laugh. "No, I don't think he is dead. I think he's out there biding his time, waiting for the right moment to return," Sirius said in a slightly hollow voice. "We need to be ready for that moment."

"We will be," Amelia replied. 'I hope we will be ready,' she mentally added. Truth be told, with Fudge at the helm, she questioned if they would. "I'll be seeing you soon then," she said, stepping out of the lift.

"I hope so," Sirius replied with a slight smile. "Well, I guess I better face the music."

"Good luck."

"Thank you." Turning, he walked towards the office. He started to mentally prepare himself for the onslaught of words, followed by the inevitable firing.

"Sirius, how did it go?" Kingsley called out, as he watched the other man enter the office.

Sirius leant against Kingsley's desk and sighed. "You know you said to, 'knock them dead'? Well, I may have got into a debate with Fudge."

"Kingsley!" Dawlish called out, waving a sheet of parchment in the air. "The lowered age for aurors didn't pass!"

"Yeah," Sirius breathed.

"Sirius?" Kingsley questioned.

"Oh hi, Sirius," Dawlish said, reaching Kingsley's desk. "So, what the hell happened Kingsley? We thought it was a sure thing!"

"Sirius?" Kingsley pressed.

"I may have, okay I said the motion was immoral, illegal and made no strategic sense."

"Ha!" Kingsley exclaimed, slapping Sirius on the back. "Nice work!"

"It says the motion was opposed nine votes to two," Dawlish read. "You flipped eight members of the cabinet. That's, that's never been done since Fudge has been in power. How did you do it?"

"I don't know. I just didn't agree with the motion."

"Black!"

Sirius looked down for a moment. "Well it's been a pleasure working with you," he said as he started towards Moody's office.

"Good luck," Dawlish said patting the other man's shoulder.

"I would say knock him dead, but…" Kingsley started.

"It's all you fault," Sirius replied with a grin. "If you hadn't said that I would have been all meek, smiling and nodding at the right places."

"Sirius, no one is ever going to believe that, but seriously good luck."

"Moody, look I'm sorry, okay. I may have got a little passionate in there. I just don't think we should use children to fight our wars." Sirius said as he walked into the office. He stopped and observed Moody for a moment. "Fuck, Moody, if you have a plan... If you have an agenda, it would be easier if you read me in on it." He paused again, as he watched the other man leaning back on his chair, twirling his wand between his fingers. He frowned as he tried to gauge the other man's intentions. "This was your intention all along," he concluded.

"Yes," Moody replied simply.

"It was a test."

"Yes."

"Well a fat lot of good that's going to do now, considering I'm going to be fired," Sirius snapped.

"Crouch and Fudge are indeed calling for your head, but I've had eight owls saying under no circumstances should I fire you. Phyllis Morpurgo went into quite some detail of what she would do to me if I did," Moody said, wincing at the memory.

"So, I'm not being fired?"

"No."

"So, what's the plan Mad-Eye?" Sirius said, sitting down and leaning forward.

"There will come a time when I can no longer do this job-"

"Moody? Are you ill?" Sirius cut in.

"No," Moody replied. "Just this job has taken its toll and I'm not getting any younger. When that time comes, I need you to take over."

"Me?!" Sirius exclaimed. "Surely Kingsley, Dawlish, Beck, hell I don't know, I barely have four years' experience!"

"You have nearly sixteen years' experience. You were never fired. You never resigned, you remained an auror. You are this office's most loyal employee. You never broke, even under great duress."

"Okay, but me, running this office?! I'm too-"

"Too what, Sirius? You are loyal, intelligent, brave and the others look to you."

"What?!"

"The younger ones are comfortable in seeking advice from you. The rest respect you. You have the natural ability to lead. You can influence people. Your political game needs a little work, but that'll come. It's better than mine in any case."

Sirius exhaled slowly. "What's the plan?"

"We need to start now. We need, you need to start forming new alliances. You need to use your influence."

"Are you suggesting we perform a coup d'etat?!" Sirius exclaimed.

"No."

"Just as much as I think Fudge is an idiot, a coup will seriously destabilise the Ministry."

"I completely agree, but we need something in place when Fudge falls; which will happen. He cannot continue this dictatorship whilst ignoring the growing threat. You need to use your influence."

"Mad-eye, I think you are overestimating my 'influence'," Sirius said, raking his hand through his hair.

"Am I?" Moody replied leaning back in his chair. "Since Fudge came to power, no motion he has proposed has ever been denied. But you did it. During your first cabinet vote, you influenced eight cabinet members to vote against Fudge. The same eight who have owled me, telling me they would have my head if I fired you. So, are you telling me you don't have any influence?"

"Okay, maybe I do have some but, I don't know."

"Sirius, we have to do something. We cannot let the Ministry fall."

"But if Fudge won't listen and Crouch..." Sirius stopped and tapped his foot nervously. Was he letting his prejudice influence him?

"Sirius?"

"It's nothing."

"Clearly, what is it?"

"Have you noticed anything different about Crouch recently?"

"Why?"

"I don't know. Look, I'm probably being stupid," Sirius said shaking his head.

"Come on, spit it out laddie."

"I think, I think he is under the influence of the Imperius Curse."

"Why?"

"I don't know. It's hard to explain. It's, well, I just have this feeling."

"Your gut is telling you?"

"Yeah."

Moody nodded. "I'll investigate."

"Moody, I don't think it's a good idea if either of us investigates. It's not exactly a secret neither of us see eye to eye with him."

"Who then?" Moody asked.

"Kingsley?"

Moody nodded again. "Read him in. Good work today, Sirius," he said as the other man started to stand. "Oh, and Sirius, watch what you eat and drink around here. I overheard some witches on level 3 discussing what love potion they could slip you."

Sdf

James Potter read through the proposal again, twirling the quill between his fingers.

"Mr. Potter."

James looked up to his boss, Harold Temperance, standing in front of him. "Mr. Temperance," he replied, standing to address his boss. Harold Temperance, head of the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures Division, was always old fashionably formal. "I am just reviewing the proposal. I should have it on your desk for tomorrow morning."

"Do you know Mr. Black?"

"Sirius?" James asked, watching the other man nod. "Yeah, he's my best friend. He's my adoptive brother. He was my secret keeper."

"A very interesting man," Harold said, before walking away without a further word.

James frowned as he watched his boss walk away. What the hell was that about? Grabbing a scrap of parchment, he scribbled a quick note. _'Mate, we need to talk. What the hell happened? Meet me in the Atrium as soon as you can. James.'_ Folding it, he attached it to an owl, before grabbing his jacket and heading out of the office.

Ssdf

"So, you're not being fired then," Kingsley said as he watched Sirius approach his desk.

"No, apparently I made some friends in there. Fudge and Crouch want me gone, but there's nothing new there," Sirius sighed as he leant against Kingsley's desk. "Kingsley, can I ask you to do something. If you don't want to do it I totally understand."

"What is it?"

"Crouch," Sirius said simply. "Have you noticed anything strange about him?"

"No, but then again I do try to avoid him. Why? What are you thinking?"

"I could be completely wrong, but I think he's under the Imperius Curse."

Kingsley nodded. "He hasn't looked well recently," he said reflectively. "I just put that down to the pressures of the job and having a winter cold. What do you want me to do?"

"I'm asking a lot, especially as it's based on my impulse." Sirius started.

"Your impulse has always been pretty good," Kingsley cut in. "Do you want me to investigate?"

"Yeah."

"I am guessing it's because Moody and yourself wouldn't be ideal candidates, given your history with the man. Not a problem," Kingsley replied. "Oh, this came for you."

"Thank you," Sirius said sincerely. He found himself smiling as he took the piece of parchment with the untidy scrawl. "I guess news travels fast," he said reading the note.

Kingsley raised his eyebrows. "Are you surprised? It's you. The man who came back from the dead, then goes into a cabinet vote and gets eight people to vote down Fudge's proposal. It's almost the stuff of legends."

"Ha!" Sirius laughed. "I better get going before James wears a track in the floor upstairs." Bidding his thanks to Kingsley, he headed towards the Atrium.

"What the hell mate?!"

Sirius staggered slightly as James clapped his hand on his shoulder. "Hello to you too, James."

"Seriously, what the fuck happened? Mr. Temperance asked me about you! I've never had a personal conversation with him in my life!" James exclaimed.

"Not here," Sirius replied quietly, as he nervously looked around.

"Mr. Black, I was wondering if you would look at this and considering supporting our cause," a short, middle aged witch asked, as she thrust a leaflet into his hand. "What you did in there was utterly inspirational. We are really excited that you can start to bring change to the Ministry."

"Err, thanks," Sirius replied, briefly looking at the leaflet. "I will certainly consider it."

"Thank you," the witch said pleasantly, before slipping into the crowd.

"Okay, I am serious Sirius, what the hell is happening!"

"No need to use my name twice," Sirius laughed. "I'll explain when we are back at yours."

Grabbing Sirius, James pulled him towards one of the fires. "Potter Manor," he yelled, pulling Sirius into the fire with him. "Right," he said, straightening up as he stepped out of his living room fire. "You better bloody start talking. What the hell happened? What did you do?"

"James, calm down," Sirius said as he flopped elegantly onto the sofa by the fire.

"No, what the hell? Inspiration? Bring change to the Ministry?" James exclaimed as he paced, waving his hands wildly in the air.

"I went to the WP meeting," Sirius started simply. He watched as his friend stopped pacing to stare at him.

"And…?"

Sirius sighed. "They were going to vote on lowering the auror entry age."

James frowned. "Yeah, most of us didn't agree with it but, like all of Fudge's proposals, it was a sure thing."

"It didn't pass."

"What?"

"It didn't pass," Sirius repeated. He ran a hand through his hair. "They were going to vote on it and I suggested we debate it. James, I didn't know the rules of the cabinet meeting. I just, well…"

James collapsed on the sofa next to his best friend. "Ha! You bloody spoke your mind. I bet that pissed Fudge off."

"Yeah," Sirius said vaguely. "I thought he was going to explode at one point."

"What was the final vote?"

"Nine to two."

"Seriously! Shite mate, that's incredible."

"Yeah, I guess."

"It is mate. It's about time things changed around there. What else, mate?" James asked, eyeing his distracted friend with concern.

"When Moody goes he wants me to take over the office."

"Makes sense," James replied, leaning back on the sofa.

"Really? I, seriously I can't head up the Auror office. Why me?"

"You're kidding right? Mate, Moody has been mentoring you for this since he recruited you. He knew he needed someone like you in an influential position."

"I just don't feel ready," Sirius admitted.

"Sure, but Moody is a tough old goat. He'll be around for years to come. Shit, you will probably retire on the same day as him," James joked. "Now tell me more about the vote. Merlin, I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall. Finally, someone put that twat in his place. It's fucking amazing mate!"


	12. Chapter 12

Thanks Ambush99 for betaing this chapter! Also, thank you to everyone who has reviewed, favorited or followed this fic, I hope you enjoy this instalment.

 **Chapter 12**

Sirius knocked lightly on the door as he stuck his head around the corner. "Arthur Weasley?" he said, addressing the slightly frantic red headed man.

"Yes," Arthur said looking up.

"Sirius Black," Sirius said as he held out his hand.

"Welcome," Arthur said, greeting the other man warmly. "Apologies about the state of the office, we don't have a lot of space."

"I can see," Sirius replied, as he allowed his eyes to travel around the walls to the various muggle posters and photographs. "Quite a collection you have here."

"Yes, it's quite fascinating how muggles survive without magic. Quite fascinating," Arthur said enthusiastically.

"Vincent Black Shadow!" Sirius exclaimed as he stared at the bike.

"You know it?"

"I used to have one."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I got my muggle bike and car licence when I was seventeen. Bloody temperamental beast," Sirius said, indicating to the bike. "A muggle journalist, Hunter S. Thompson, said that, if you rode the Black Shadow at top speed for any length of time, you would almost certainly die."

"Weren't your parents worried?"

"Worried? If they'd known, I'm sure they would have encouraged it," Sirius said lightly, missing Arthur's shocked expression. "Anyway, enough about me, what do you know about muggle firearms?"

Arthur took a moment to recover. The twins sometimes drove him up the wall with the constant owls he and Molly received from Hogwarts. Percy's near obsession with Crouch both worried and annoyed him, but to want your child dead?! What kind of parents were they? "Muggles generally refer to them as guns. I think I have some information around here."

"What's the Ministry's stance?"

"Nothing, I don't think they believe they exist," Arthur replied as he shuffled through reams of paper. "Ah! Here it is! Sorry it's not a lot."

Sirius nodded as he scanned the single piece of parchment. "I might see what a muggle bookshop has to offer."

"A muggle bookshop!" Arthur exclaimed excitedly.

"Care to join?"

"Really?! That would be amazing. I love muggles!"

"Clearly," Sirius said kindly, as he looked around the small, almost broom cupboard sized office.

"I'm not really dressed for it," Arthur said as he compared his wizarding robes to Sirius' more muggle attire.

"Lose the hat and the coat, and you'll be fine."

"So, where are you going?" Arthur said as he hurried after Sirius.

"Charing Cross, there's a large bookshop off the corner."

"Do you often go into the muggle world?"

"Most days," Sirius replied as they walked down Whitehall towards Trafalgar Square. "I try to read a muggle newspaper once a day. That's Downing Street, where the muggle Prime Minister lives," he said, indicating to a street that was fairly nondescript, bar the large metal gates it hid behind.

Arthur felt he needed at least another five sets of eyes as he tried to take in everything around him. The store was full of muggle books, with their still, unmoving images staring back at him. Then there were the electric lights, electric sockets and what he thought were computers. He glanced across at Sirius who looked completely nonplussed, as though it was a daily occurrence which, Arthur reminded himself, it was. "Where are we going to look?"

"The non-fiction section upstairs. If they don't have anything I am sure they can order it for us," Sirius replied. After a couple of minutes of searching, he stood up triumphantly, book in hand. Pausing for a moment, he took another couple from the shelf. He grinned as he watched Arthur handle a book with utter amazement. "Good one?" he said, indicating to the Ford Anglia Hayes' manual Arthur was holding.

"Yes, still trying to work out a couple of niggles in my car."

"If it's anything like the Shadow, it'll be a lifetime's worth of work," Sirius replied, taking the book from Arthur.

"Sirius?"

"If Crouch can 'expense' his fancy suits, if Malfoy can 'expense' two second homes in London and if Fudge can 'expense' his duck house, I think we can 'expense' a couple of books," Sirius said lightly, as a mischievous smile played on his face.

"What was that thing you used to pay for the books?" Arthur asked, once they were back out on Whitehall.

"A bank card. I have a muggle bank account as well as a vault at Gringotts. It makes it easier to pay for items in muggle society and it ensures I still have access to funds, if I cannot access my vault for whatever reason," Sirius explained.

"You think there's going to be a second war don't you."

"Yeah," Sirius said in a hollow voice. "We've got to use as many resources as we can. We cannot lose this war. The consequences are just too great."

Arthur was suddenly struck by how young Sirius still was. How desperately young he had been when he'd decided to sacrifice himself for his friend and his young family; he had been younger than Charlie was now. He wondered how someone who had been through so much, someone who had spent nearly half his life as a hostage, could cope with the hopes and dreams of so many. He wondered how much the throw away comment about his parents had affected him. "Whatever you need Sirius, let me know."

"Thank you," Sirius replied earnestly. "If you could give your opinion on the muggle weapons I would greatly appreciate it."

"Of course," Arthur replied as they walked into the Ministry.

"Sirius!"

Sirius spun around to see George Skrupskelis, one of the younger aurors, run up to him with a folded piece of parchment. He scanned it for a moment before crumpling it and throwing it into a nearby fire. "I'm really sorry Arthur, but something has come up."

"Nothing serious I hope."

"I'm not sure at the moment, but I've got to go now. Thank you again," Sirius said, shaking Arthur's hand. Without a further word he hurried to the nearest apparation point.

Landing just outside Hogwart's gates he quickly walked through them and into the familiar grounds. The note had been vague at best; Crouch. Rambling. He guessed Skrupskelis hadn't known about his previous history with Crouch, or he doubted he would have found him. Still, whatever Crouch had been rambling about, it was his job to investigate. Seeing the small group of people near the Forbidden Forest, he hurried over. "Dumbledore," he said, greeting the nearest man.

"Sirius, I am glad you are here. I'm not sure how much Professor Snape said in the note."

"Not a lot," Sirius replied, his eyes locking onto his school nemesis. "Severus."

"Black," Snape replied, shooting an equally cold glare back.

"Mr. Black," Fudge said in a sickly sweet voice.

"Ah, Mr. Fudge and Mr Bagman," Sirius replied pleasantly. "What are you doing here?"

"We were here to explain the third task," Bagman said, stepping forward for the first time.

"Third task?" Sirius said, frowning as he looked around. His face broke into a grin when he saw his godson. "Harry!" he exclaimed, pulling him into a hug.

Harry buried his face into his godfather's chest as he felt some of the fear and tension of the last few minutes ebb away. He knew now Sirius was here everything would be okay. "I don't know what happened. I swear, I don't," he mumbled.

"I believe you," Sirius said as they broke apart, his arm remaining wrapped protectively around Harry's shoulders.

"What the hell is going on?" Karkaroff growled, his sleek silver furs in disarray, as he saw Krum on the ground, beside Dumbledore and Harry.

"I was attacked," Krum said, as he leant against the tree. "That judge, Mr. Crouch, he attacked me."

"Treachery!" Karkaroff yelled. "This is your idea," he said, pointing at Dumbledore. "You want your school to win so badly you'll stop at nothing to ensure it happens. He's involved as well, no doubt," he said, pointing dangerously at Harry.

With one simple step Sirius pushed Harry behind him, using his body as a shield. "Back. Off. Now," he growled menacingly, punctuating each word.

"Now Mr. Black, I'm sure-" Bagman started, but as he was met with Sirius' glare he took a step back.

"Oh, I don't forget a face," Karkaroff sneered.

"Nor do I," Sirius growled, taking another step forward. "Now, why don't you take your student and piss off back to your ship." He tried to take a calming breath as he watched Karkaroff and Krum hurry back to the ship. He'd let his emotions get the better of him again.

"Well, I guess there could have been more, errr diplomatic ways of getting them to leave, but if needs must," Bagman said, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. "Now Harry, if you scurry back up to the castle."

Sirius shot Bagman a strange look. "I'd rather Harry not walk back to the castle unsupervised, especially as we have no idea who the attacker is or where they are."

"Of course, of course," Bagman repeated. "Errr, who do you suggest?"

Sirius glanced at Dumbledore. "Hagrid?" He watched Hagrid hurry over after presumably he had received Dumbledore's patronus.

"Dumbledore, what do you need?" Hagrid breathed heavily as he ran up to the group.

"I need you to take Harry back to my office," Dumbledore instructed.

Hagrid took a moment to survey the group, before handing Fang to Dumbledore, then clapping a giant hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Good to see you Sirius."

"Merlin, Hagrid, will you ever learn your own strength?" Sirius replied with a grin.

Hagrid grinned sheepishly. "I've got that bike of yours."

"Keep it."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I don't suspect there are many brooms for gentleman of your, err, size," Sirius replied, still grinning.

"Oi! Don't be cheeky. I'll let you off this once," Hagrid replied.

Sirius turned to Harry. "Harry, don't worry about anything. We just need to search the grounds and then I'll be back, I promise."

Harry nodded earnestly and followed Hagrid back to the castle. He knew, now Dumbledore and Sirius were there, nothing could happen to him.

"Well, shall we start the search? Old Barthy couldn't have gone far," Fudge replied lightly.

"He was muttering incoherently," Snape said in disbelief.

"Bartly loves a good joke," Fudge continued.

"What?!" Sirius exclaimed. "Didn't you hear what Severus said? I doubt Crouch has done this as a bloody joke!"

* * *

"Well, I think your job is done here, Mr. Black," Fudge said as they arrived at Dumbledore's office after searching the grounds for an hour to no avail. "We just need to ask young Harry a couple of questions."

"Sirius?" Harry turned to him.

"You cannot question him without his parents, guardian or legal representative present."

"Mr. Black I did not realise you were a legal consult," Fudge sneered.

"I'm not, but Harry is my godson, so under wizarding law l can act as his guardian," Sirius sneered back.

"Gentleman is this really necessary?" Bagman cut in, bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet.

"Depends on the nature of the questions," Sirius bit back.

"We just need to ask Harry a couple of questions, that's all," Fudge replied in a forced voice.

Harry looked up at Sirius to see him nod. "We had just been told about the third task. Victor wanted to talk to me about something."

"What did he want to talk to you about?" Fudge asked.

"He, he wanted to talk about Hermione."

"Why?"

Harry looked embarrassedly up at Sirius. "Do we really need to know the details about some teenage crush?" Sirius asked.

"No, no," Bagman said cheerily. "Please continue Harry."

Looking for Sirius' approval, Harry continued. "We were talking and then Mr. Crouch appeared. I'm sorry I didn't see what direction he came from," he added apologetically. "He didn't seem to know where he was. He looked like he had been travelling for days. He mentioned Voldemort was growing stronger and he needed to warn Dumbledore. He said he had made a great mistake and he had escaped. Then he seemed to think he was somewhere else and started to give instructions to Percy about having supper with Mr. and Mrs. Fudge."

"So, he was insane, he didn't know what he was talking about," Fudge said dismissively.

"No, he was sanest when he was talking about Voldemort!" Harry yelled.

Fudge flinched at the mention of you-know-who's name. "Now Harry, there is no need for that," he said patronisingly.

"I think we are finished here," Sirius said, pushing Harry towards the door.

"Mr. Black!"

"Harry, meet me outside," Sirius said gently before turning to face Fudge. "Look, I understand. You either don't believe Voldemort will return, or you simply can't handle that he is returning, but don't you ever take it out on my godson!" Without a further word he followed Harry out of the office, Harry's words echoing in his head. Pretty much the same words he had choked out to James over six months ago. What had Crouch seen? Had he been too quick to judge? These were questions he needed to answer but not now. Now his concern was the scared, fourteen year old boy in front of him. "You okay Harry?"

"I think so, I don't know. What did they want to know?" Harry stammered out.

"Harry you gave them the truth, and I just, well, I don't think they were ready for it," Sirius said, wrapping his arm around Harry's shoulders.

"Why?"

"I know you think us adults have all the answers but sometimes we don't. I believe you. I know what you said was true, but I think Fudge is too scared to believe that right now," Sirius explained.

"But that's stupid."

Sirius took a breath and sighed. "I know Harry, I know. There are people working on that right now. So, what's the third task?"

"It's a maze."

Sirius nodded. "I'm guessing there will be some obstacles on the way. So, a couple of jinxes and hexes wouldn't go amiss."

"Where do I start?"

"I tell you what. Why don't you have a look with Ron and Hermione, then owl the list over to me. I can cast my eye over it," Sirius said with a wink.

"Everyone thinks I am going to win, but how?" Harry suddenly blurted out.

Sirius paused. "Sometimes people see something in you, which you can't see or believe in yet. They think you can win, because they believe in you. I know you don't believe that yet, but you should. Again Harry, if you don't want to do this, I will find a way out of it. In fact, I have a stack full of parchment back at the office with legal reasons you could withdraw from the competition."

"Thanks Sirius, but I want to see it through now," Harry said, stopping next to the Fat Lady's portrait.

Sirius smiled. "Harry, I need to be serious for a moment. You have to promise me you will not go into the grounds without your friends. You have to promise me none of you will go out after dark. I know it's rich coming from me, but with what's just happened."

Harry nodded. The words coming from his godfather's mouth held far more weight than any teacher's had ever done. "I promise."

"Good," Sirius said hugging Harry. "Now get in there and fill Ron and Hermione in on your gossip." He bid his farewell and started to walk down the familiar corridors, lost in thought. Where had Crouch been? What had happened to him? Had he escaped from the same place he had been held? A twinge of guilt hit him. What if he had reached out to Crouch, would he still be alive?


	13. Chapter 13

As always, thanks to Ambush99 for betaing this chapter.

 **Chapter 13**

"So, you didn't find any trace of Crouch?" Moody asked.

Sirius leant back on the chair and interlaced his fingers as he thought for a moment. "No," he said simply. "But whoever did it had less than a five minute window to stun Krum, kill Crouch then dispose of his body."

"You believe he's dead?"

"Yeah, he escaped to deliver that message," Sirius stopped as a dark shadow passed his eyes.

"Sirius?"

"It's just, he escaped but they still caught up with him."

"How did you escape?"

"I transformed and managed to slip through the cell bars. I transformed back when I swam across the sea; it uses less energy to swim as a human than a dog," Sirius explained.

"Do you remember where you were held?"

"No, I'm sorry," Sirius said in a hollow voice. "I still only remember flashes."

"No, its okay laddie."

"Why?"

"Why did you survive and not Crouch?" Moody replied. "I don't know; youth, luck, being in the right place at the right time."

"But Crouch was. He was there at Hogwarts. I lost count of the times I thought I couldn't go on. The number of times I fell asleep and didn't think I would wake up. Then, well…" Sirius trailed off for a moment. "Crouch was so close."

"Laddie, you know better than anyone, life sometimes just isn't fair, and after thirteen years I think you were long overdue some luck. I know it's not the satisfying answer you were probably looking for, but it's all I've got." Moody paused as he watched the younger man carefully. "Do you want to take the rest of the day off?"

"No, I'm fine," Sirius said dismissively. "Just if… I don't know."

"When was the first time you suspected he was under the Imperius Curse?"

Sirius rubbed his face. "The second task."

"That was the first time you had seen him in, what, thirteen and a half years?"

"Yeah, if I'd just mentioned it then, maybe…"

"Sure, maybe Crouch would still be alive," Moody cut in. "Then, maybe if I had recognised the signs, I mean I only see him every day, then maybe he would still be alive. But maybe it wouldn't have made a fat lot of difference and he would still be dead. Sirius, you cannot live with 'what if's or 'maybe'; you know that."

"I just feel that I could have done something," Sirius said guiltily.

"We all do." Moody paused for a moment, as though he were holding a moment's silence for their fallen colleague. "How's your 'project' going?"

"I met with Arthur Weasley."

"And?"

"He's a good, principled, intelligent man, but…"

"But?"

"He has a family; four of them are still at Hogwarts. I-I can't get him involved in something like this."

"Sirius, if you start discounting people because they have families and the like, we won't have anyone. We are going to be at war. People know the risks. People need to make choices, they will need to make sacrifices," Moody said passionately. "Weasley is an adult. He knows the risks. No family will come out of this unscathed."

"I know," Sirius growled. "Why the fuck do you think I became a secret keeper last time? So Harry had a chance to grow up with his parents!"

"Sirius, you can't save everyone."

"I know, but I'd rather not be the instigator in their deaths," Sirius retorted.

"As you said, Weasley is intelligent. He's offering to help you. I guarantee you he's figured out your play. He knows the risks," Moody argued back.

"What if you're wrong?!"

"Sirius, there are no guarantees in life. We just need to act on the facts we have available to us at the time."

"Sorry, Moody that's not good enough for me. I will not involve innocent people in…"

"What Sirius? Do you believe Voldemort will return? Do you believe we will be at war? Do you believe Fudge is misguided?"

"Yes!" Sirius yelled. "I know that bastard is alive and going to return. We need to stop him!"

"Then what are we wrong about?" Moody pressed.

"I don't know, Moody. I made my choices, but they were my choice."

"Surely, Weasley should be allowed to make his choice?"

"I guess so," Sirius said quietly. "I'll talk to him tomorrow."

"Good, and Sirius, don't stay at Grimmauld Place tonight, go back with Potter," Moody suggested. "I think Potter would like to hear this coming from you."

Sirius nodded. He was conflicted; part of him just wanted to hide away to try and figure out what had just happened, but he knew he owed it to James and Lily. Without another word, he turned and headed towards Potter Manor.

* * *

Sirius leant back on his chair and threw his feet up on the table, not caring what mark it would leave. After all the years of neglect, coupled with his distinct lack of affection for the place, the years' worth of dust and grime had grown unchecked, so his boots adding a bit of London grime to the table wouldn't exactly make a lot of difference. He'd seen, rather he'd heard, Kreacher the old house-elf wandering around, muttering insults at him. What the elf had been doing for the last few years, bar worshipping his dead mother, Sirius did not know, nor did he care. 12 Grimmauld Place had never been a home to him, nor was it now. It was a place he could sleep for a few hours, if he was lucky, and change his clothes. The only reason he maintained it was for strategic purposes. With a war brewing they would need safe houses and Grimmauld Place couldn't be more prefect; with its location and protective wards only second perhaps to Hogwarts, it was not something he wanted to fall to the dark side. He wasn't sure of his parents' will, but he was sure, if he renounced the place, it would fall into the hands of his deranged cousin, Bella. Something he couldn't let happen.

He rubbed his face for a moment. Crouch, he thought, Crouch had been missing for nearly a month and was now presumed dead; a fact that he continued to struggle with on a daily basis. He knew what Moody had said made sense, but he still wondered if his hesitance had played a role in Crouch's death. What had Crouch been involved in? Had he been under the Imperius Curse? Questions that remained unanswered. Questions he needed to be answered. He yawned as he stretched out. Another night in which he had only managed to catch a couple of hours sleep. Glancing at his watch at half past five, he knew sleep was pointless now. It didn't come naturally to him these days in any case. He might as well make use of the peace of the empty office. He was behind on Moody's plan, but he knew it needed time. He wondered how much his reluctance to get people was hampering things. He knew the people he was recruiting knew the risks; he just didn't feel comfortable in putting them at risk. That's why Moody was wrong. He wasn't a leader, he was just, well, he was just Sirius. Yawning loudly, he flung his long legs off the table and headed out of the door and towards the Ministry.

His journey to the Ministry generally took half an hour on the Northern Line. Sure, he could arrive at the Ministry instantaneously, but he enjoyed the quiet contemplation of the near empty tube during the early hours. The time away from the magical community allowed him to collect his thoughts. He wondered why Moody had chosen him, why not Kingsley, Dawlish, Beck or anyone else for that matter. What did Moody, and everyone else, see in him? Did they really think he could lead the magical community to victory? He, a man who slept four hours a night, if lucky. He ran a hand through his hair and tried to turn his attention back to Machiavelli's Prince. Whatever the future held, he knew his political game needed work. He needed to quash his outbursts and turn them to his strategic advantage, and he hoped Machiavelli held the key. Even if it didn't help him, he hoped it would wake Fudge up to the fact there was more at stake than his reputation and his bloody Duck house.

After the short walk from Charing Cross station to the Ministry, he found himself staring blankly at the menu.

"You look like you need a coffee as badly as I do."

Sirius spun around and smiled. "What are you doing here at this ungodly hour, Amelia?" he said with a smile.

Amelia frowned. "The WP meeting. Didn't anyone tell you about the change?"

"No, it must have slipped their minds," Sirius said, wincing as the scalding liquid burnt his throat.

"Of course it did," Amelia said unconvincingly. "Would you like to see the agenda?"

"Thank you," Sirius said, taking it and briefly scanning it. So, Fudge had upped the game, or did he blame him for Crouch's disappearance?

"I think he does respect you, but at the moment I think he's threatened by you."

"What?" Sirius exclaimed lightly as he looked up from the piece of parchment.

"He thinks you are after his job," Amelia explained.

"He cannot be serious!"

"Have you seen this poll?" Amelia said, handing Sirius a copy of Witch Weekly.

"Err, I don't tend to read that magazine," Sirius said politely with a slight smile.

Amelia rolled her eyes. "Fudge's approval rating is 45, yours is 70."

"They cannot be serious! They actually polled me for Minister?!" Sirius said as he flicked through the magazine.

"Why not?" Amelia said as she leant over and picked the relevant page.

Sirius stared at the page in disbelief.

 _The end of Fudge?_

Under the flamboyant headline there was a photo of him and Fudge leaving the most recent WP meeting. He never really considered his height before now, but he was at least a head taller than Fudge. He frowned as he read on.

 _Should Sirius Black become Minister of Magic? In a recent poll conducted by Witch Weekly, 70% of interviewees said they thought Sirius Black would do a good or very good job, opposed to 45% who rated Cornelius Fudge as good or very good. It isn't difficult to see why! Fudge has long ruled the Ministry, with his misguided principles slowly turning into a dictatorship. Since 1990 he has only used the Wizengamot five times to vote and debate policy, preferring to hold all policy making decisions behind closed doors during his 'Weekly Policy' meetings. Every single motion had been passed during these meetings, until Sirius Black joined them. Sirius Black: the intelligent, powerful, youthful, war hero._

Sirius looked up in disbelief again. "I say it again, but they cannot be serious!"

"Why? Are you saying Miranda Rumdold could be sued for libel?" Amelia challenged. "Because I don't think she could."

Sirius was momentarily speechless, thrown by Amelia's words. "I-I, well I just think it's just a bit far fetched, that's all. It's all very well saying I could do a better job than Fudge, but-" He stopped and shrugged his shoulders. "What's the saying? 'Before you judge a man, walk a mile in his shoes'. It's easy to sit back and judge."

"Of course," Amelia said with raised eyebrows. "Shall we head down to the meeting? What were you doing here so early anyway?"

"Catching up with paperwork," Sirius lied as he held the lift door open. He stood in silence as the lift made its way down towards the Minister's office. It was some stupid article in Witch Weekly he told himself. The polls were meaningless. Then why was he still thinking about it? As the lift doors slid open, he followed Amelia out.

"Ah, so you got the owl?" Fudge said nervously as he came face to face with Sirius.

"No, it must have just missed me. But, as luck would have it, I met Madam Bones when I was getting a coffee," Sirius said with a forced smile.

"Ah, yes how lucky," Fudge trailed off, failing to hide his disappointment. "So, shall we start the meeting?"

Sirius nodded and followed the other members of the cabinet into the room, as he tried to figure out Fudge's agenda. Surely, some silly article in Witch Weekly, which as well as remarking on his intelligence and war record, had compared his and Fudge's policy differences along with their physical appearance. Had the Minister of Magic really taken the article seriously, or was there something far more serious in play?


	14. Chapter 14

Thanks as always to Ambush99 for betaing this chapter!

 **Chapter 14** **  
**  
"This time tomorrow it'll be over," James said as he leant against the pub wall, nursing a pint. It was the end of June and the sun had finally shown her face. "I still don't know why he has to do it!"

"He wants to," Sirius responded.

"He still shouldn't have to."

"I know, I'm sorry."

"What?" James replied, frowning. "No Sirius! That day was one of the worst, most terrifying but at the same time one of the, well, I don't know what it was. You returned. I thought you were dead, I still thought you were going to die, everyone did!"

"Exactly, my 'return' was a distraction-"

"No Sirius," James said sharply, cutting his friend off. "We've been through this. If anyone is to blame, it's not you. You didn't even make the 'for consideration' list."

Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Fine," he said dismissively. "What time are you going to get to Hogwarts tomorrow?"

"Morning. We can spend the day with him before the task," James explained.

"At least they have some form of humanity," Sirius observed. "I'll see you there; I've got to go to the office first."

"Dumbledore wants aurors stationed at Hogwarts during the task?"

"Yeah," Sirius replied, taking a careful sip of his beer. "James, you know I would tell you if I thought there was any danger."

"I know."

"You know I would be pulling Harry out of that tournament if I thought there was any risk apart from the bloody task itself."

"I know you would," James returned, patting his friend's shoulder. "Why are you there?"

"Precautions."

"And?"

"Observation," Sirius said simply.

"You think whoever killed Crouch will be in the crowd?" James asked. He watched Sirius raise his eyebrows and say nothing. "Okay, I won't say anything more. How's Moody's other plan going?"

"What other plan?"

"Oh come on Sirius, you don't need to be all 'cloak and dagger' with me. You are beginning to spend an unhealthy amount of time in the office."

Sirius looked away for a moment. "James, because of my job there are some things I can't talk about, you know that."

"I do, I used to do your job, remember," James bit back. "This is nothing to do with the job. Let me in, whatever it is, I am sure I can help."

Sirius sighed and rubbed his face. "Mate, it's too-"

"Too what? Dangerous? Seriously, what the fuck Sirius! We're going to be at war soon. You think Voldemort won't target me again? He's still going to go after my son or don't you remember the prophecy!" James snapped.

"Of course I remember about the bloody prophecy!" Sirius growled. "It's just, fuck James, I'm not fucking cut out for this!"

"Cut out for what?" James pushed.

Sirius drained the last of his pint. "Moody wants me to recruit people. Essentially he wants me to recreate the Order but under my guidance, not Dumbledore's. I'm just, I'm just Sirius, I'm not Dumbledore."

"Mate, you haven't been 'just Sirius' for a while. You've changed. I know I didn't see you for thirteen years, but you've grown far more than anyone else. I know we are in our thirties now, and the last I saw you, we were twenty one year olds."

"Who thought we were invincible and could take on the world," Sirius cut in.

"Yeah, that too. But I'm ser-" James stopped for a moment and scowled at his grinning friend. "Oh, piss off, Padfoot. I'm serious. Most people wouldn't have survived what you went through and, if they had survived, not mentally. But you did. Not only that, you are making it your life's work to bring the bastard down, to save the wizarding world."

"Merlin, James you make it sound so dramatic!"

"Have I said anything untruthful? Are you working to destroy Voldemort? Are you working to save the wizarding world?" James countered. He watched his friend for a moment before continuing. "Then let me help you. People believe in you because of who you are and what you stand for. I know people in the Ministry who would be more than happy to join your cause. Let me bring them to the table, you can do the rest. You can't do this alone. No one expects you to do this alone."

"James, I-"

"Have you and Moody lost faith in Dumbledore?" James said simply.

Sirius looked away for a moment. "He was once a great wizard, and still is in many respects, but I don't think he's as powerful as he once was. He keeps missing stuff and allows himself to be blindly led by Fudge and the Ministry. Don't get me wrong, I think he is still a great wizard and a fantastic headmaster. I just, I think he's not the right person for the job this time. I don't know who is, but I don't believe its Dumbledore."

"I know who it is," James said slowly.

"Moody?"

"No," James said, shaking his head. "Moody is a fantastic auror. Aside from you, there's no one else I'd choose to go into battle with, but he's not an influencer or a leader."

"Oh come on!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I know you don't believe it right now, but you will in time."

Sirius sighed reluctantly. He was torn; he didn't want to put his best friend in harm's way for a single moment, but then, there was no one he would trust more than James. "Sure, but not now. Now, you have far more important things to worry about. Once this bloody tournament is over, I promise we'll discuss it."

* * *

"Moody, are you ready?" Sirius said as he leant against the door frame.

"I've been waiting for you," Moody growled, throwing on his thick travelling cloak.

"You do realise its midsummer's day and it's already 27c out there."

"What if it rains? What if the temperature drops? What have I taught you?"

"Always be prepared. Yeah, I know and I've got a jacket but there's being prepared for a typical British summer's day and then there's being prepared for an Arctic expedition," Sirius laughed, his grin widening when his comment was met with a scowl.

"You worried about Potter's son?"

Sirius' grin faded. "Yeah, Dumbledore says he's put all the precautionary measures in place so the kids will be safe, but then again his age line was supposed to be infallible."

"You still have no clue who put the boy's name in the cup?"

"No, do you have any theories?"

"No, but we don't have a lot to go on," Moody said. Observing Sirius' confused expression he added, "No one said anything until the first task. Hell, I didn't know you were alive until that rat was arrested. Dumbledore being clandestine about you, I can understand. But the boy?! Someone should have said something!"

"Don't you dare blame James and Lily," Sirius growled.

"No," Moody said, holding his hands up. "No, I do not blame them for one moment. They must have felt as though they had been thrown under the Knight Bus. You arrive on their doorstep half dead, then they get told by Dumbledore, the Minister of Magic and Crouch that their son had to compete. Oh and it was touch and go for a month whether or not you were going to survive." He watched a familiar shadow pass across the younger's face. "And no, don't you dare blame yourself either. You did everything you could to get back and it damn near killed you. If you want to blame someone, blame the shit who put the boy's name in the cup."

"Oh I will," Sirius said darkly. "Believe me Moody, I will blame the little shit who did, but first I need to ensure Harry gets through the task."

"He'll be fine," Moody reassured. "The sooner this tournament is over, the sooner you can fully concentrate on your other task."

Sirius made a face. "Moody, I think this is part of Voldemort's plan, I just don't know how. I know I need to recruit more people to the order and James has agreed to help me. I just, well-" He paused for a moment. "When I was held captive, I heard them talk about the tournament. They mentioned Harry and Voldemort a lot. My cousin sounded excited, like she thought Voldemort was going to return. I just, Moody something is going to happen to connect all of the dots, I just don't know what. Crouch somehow got mixed up in it and they killed him because of it."

"We'll figure it out Sirius. We'll keep those kids safe."

"Do you know anything that can bring someone back from the dead?" Sirius asked as they continued to walk to the Apparation spot within the Ministry.

"Apart from the Resurrection Stone mentioned in that children's book, no."

"Resurrection Stone?"

"Yes, part of the Deathly Hallows in, oh what's the book called?"

"Sorry I can't help you there; my parents weren't the bedtime story types."

"Not to matter, it's a legend in a child's book, so it doesn't exist."

"So, apart from a mythical stone, there's nothing you know of that would bring someone back from the dead?" Sirius pushed.

"I've heard about an ancient ritual, but I don't have anything factual to back it up. Sirius, what is this all about? Why the sudden interest in bringing people back from the dead?" Moody asked as they stopped at the Apparation point.

"I don't know."

"Sirius!"

"It's a theory, but I don't know. I've been thinking about what Crouch said, what I said. We both said he was getting stronger. My cousin was excited. She loved him, she wanted to have his children. I never heard what they were discussing but it sounded like they had a break through. I, well, I became distracted by Pettigrew and forgot about most of it, until recently." Sirius paused for a moment, wondering how to broach the subject. "Well, as I said it's just a theory, stemming from grappled memories, but I think, well I think they are going to try and resurrect Voldemort."

"Merlin," Moody exclaimed taking a step back.

"As I said it's just a theory, I have no factual evidence to back it up," Sirius continued.

"Yes, but your theories are more than often right," Moody countered. "I just hope this is one of the rare occasions you are wrong."

"God, I hope so too," Sirius said tiredly, as he rubbed his face. He looked at Moody for a moment. "It's just a theory and I cannot rely on those memories. Those thirteen years are fragmented at best. I have difficulty separating fact from fiction then."

Moody nodded understandingly. "How about we have a chat about it when we get back?"

"Sounds a good idea," Sirius replied as he stepped forward to the Apparation point. "Shall we?" Moments later Sirius landed outside Hogwarts' gates. He glanced to his side as Moody landed next to him. "What's the plan?"

"I'll talk to the judges, you check things out," Moody replied. "We'll meet at the stands in ten minutes."

Sirius nodded. "Who's bringing the cup down?"

"I'm not sure. Actually, let's meet outside Dumbledore's office in ten minutes. I want to have a look at the cup."

"Why?"

"I have never seen it and it's supposed to be a perfect example of an ancient magical artefact," Moody replied.

"I didn't realise you were into artefacts."

"Not all, but the Triwizard Cup has such a history," Moody explained. "Well, I'd better talk to the judges. I'll see you outside Dumbledore's office in ten minutes."

Sirius nodded and turned towards the castle. He scanned the area and found nothing out of the ordinary. Perhaps their theory was incorrect; perhaps Crouch's killer had long since skipped the country. After all, why would they stay at the crime scene where they were bound to be caught eventually? He shrugged his shoulders and headed towards the castle. He easily cut through the excited crowd making their way towards the stands, until he reached Dumbledore's office. Seeing the door open, he frowned and slipped in. He paused for a moment at the bottom of the stairs before he continued.

"Oh" M-Mr. Black, it's you," Professor Quirrell, the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher stammered.

Sirius smiled. "Professor Quirrell, are you ready for the third task?" he said politely. Quirrell, Sirius thought, another one of Dumbledore's more questionable choices.

"Y-Yes, j-just about to t-take the c-cup d-down," Quirrell said as he shifted nervously.

Sirius found himself frowning again. There was something not quite right. "Can I have a look at the cup?" he asked, as he reached forward. As soon as he touched it, he felt a familiar tug at his navel, before the room spun and he was lifted from his feet. He felt his feet slam to the ground. Stumbling forwards, he fell to his knees. Wherever he was, he was miles from Hogwarts. It looked as though he was in a small, overgrown graveyard. On instinct, he pulled his wand out and pulled himself to his feet. Where the hell was he and why the hell would the Triwizard Cup transport the winner here?


	15. Chapter 15

As always a huge thank you to Ambush99 for betaing this fiction.

Chapter 15

Sirius looked around trying to gauge his surroundings but, before he could, the slam of what he could only guess was a stunning spell sent him crashing to the ground, his wand clattering out of sight.

"Bind him," a cold, high voice demanded.

"Yes, my lord," a familiar wheezing voice replied. "Mobilicorpus."

His senses still dulled by the stunning spell, Sirius could do little to prevent himself being lifted into the air and slammed heavily against a statue. Ropes were conjured from mid-air, binding him tightly to the statue. He blinked his eyes several times as he tried to clear his vision. "Wormy?" he hesitated. He watched his former friend look down and away from him. He frowned as he looked down at the small bundle Pettigrew was carefully carrying. What the hell was it? How the hell was Pettigrew here? The last he had been told, he was serving a lifetime's sentence in Azkaban. How the hell had he escaped?

He watched his former friend shuffle back, using his body to guard the delicate package. Who or what the hell it was, he did not know. "Wormy," he tried, knowing his efforts would be fruitless. "Mate," he pleaded. "You don't have to do this! I can, we can help you. I swear to god I will help you. I'd never allow one of my friends to be alone, no matter how far they had fallen. Wormy, I can protect you. Just come back, come back to the light. We will fight for you, I will protect you," Sirius reassured desperately. He watched as his former friend stumbled, as though he were in a trance. He found himself frowning again, as Pettigrew dragged a large cauldron towards the fire. It had to be at least twice the size of any cauldron he had ever seen. It was full of a colourless liquid which seemed to emit its own sparks rather than the actual fire itself.

"Fuck," Sirius swore as Pettigrew pulled back the blanket to reveal a small, child-sized, misshapen creature. The creature was hairless, scaly-looking, a dark raw red with spindly looking limbs. The face, the face was like something he'd never seen before. It was flat and snake-like, with gleaming red eyes. Pettigrew carefully picked up the creature and cautiously lowered it into the cauldron. The liquid emitted a shower of dark red sparks as the creature sank beneath the surface.

"Bone of the father, unknowingly given. You will renew your son," Pettigrew said in a shaky voice as he pointed his wand to a grave. The ground shook as a fine dust flew up into the air and, as directed by Pettigrew, dropped into the cauldron. The liquid hissed and sent blue sparks in every direction. Pettigrew's fear seemed to grow tenfold as he drew a small, silver dagger from his robes. His voice broke into a petrified whisper. "Flesh of the servant, w-willingly given. You will revive your master."

Realising a second before it would happen, Sirius yelled out, "NO! No Wormy, don't do it! You're not anyone's servant! You don't have to do anything. Just…!" His words were drowned out by Pettigrew's scream. Sirius closed his eyes, unable to watch. He struggled against the tight bonds, but to no avail. He hoped he was wrong, he hoped this was not one of those ancient resurrection rituals Moody had mentioned. They were just mythical, right? He slowly opened his eyes again, clenching his jaw as he prepared himself for the horrors he imagined now lay before him. He watched Pettigrew drop something into the cauldron before collapsing to the ground. The potion had now changed to a burning red, so bright it was almost blinding. He heard Pettigrew gasping and moaning in agony as he struggled towards him. "Wormy, mate, whatever it is, you don't have to do it. It's just you and I here; we can kick over the cauldron and get out of here."

"N-No," Pettigrew said in a voice close to tears. "I have to do it. He knows. He knows."

"You don't have to do anything," Sirius pleaded. "The only person who knows is me and I won't say anything."

"He will know," Pettigrew whispered as tears began to slip down his face. "I'm sorry Sirius, but I don't have a choice. I have to do this."

"Wormy," Sirius pleaded. "Whatever you are doing, you don't have to. You don't have to do anything you don't want to." He glanced at the bubbling, steaming cauldron. He had a horrible feeling he knew what, or more accurately who, was in that cauldron. "He is not your master Wormy. You can be free again. Can you remember when we were at school? The Marauders? I felt free there as well. Come on Wormy, don't do this."

"I'm so sorry Sirius, but I don't have a choice. I can't go back, I'm so sorry," Pettigrew whispered, tears streaking down his face. Holding the bloodied dagger in his right hand, he slowly stabbed it into Sirius' forearm, dragging it towards his wrist. Awkwardly, he fumbled one-handedly with a small vial, catching the blood which was now streaming down his friend's arm.

"Blood of the enemy, forcibly taken. You will… resurrect your foe."

Sirius bit back a gasp as he felt the dagger cut through his flesh. "Please Wormy. You don't have to do this," he pleaded again through gritted teeth. "Just think about what you're doing. Untie me and then run. I'll say I never saw you. Just don't do it. Don't bring him back. He'll kill you."

"I don't have a choice!" Pettigrew wheezed as he shuffled back towards the cauldron and poured Sirius' blood into it. The liquid instantly turned a blinding white. With his job done, he slumped to the side, clutching the bleeding slump of his arm.

The cauldron was now sending off diamond sparks in all directions, but nothing was happening. Maybe it has drowned, Sirius thought hopefully. Maybe Pettigrew had got it wrong, after all he'd never been the most academic. Then suddenly, almost without warning, the sparks from the cauldron were extinguished and a surge of white steam was emitted, blocking everything from view. Peter was always crap at potions Sirius thought; this will just be another failed one, he thought hopefully. But, then, through the steam, he saw the figure of a man rise. He felt as though the blood had been drained from his body. He didn't want to see the figure emerge from the mist, he knew who it was.

"Robe me," a cold, high voice said from behind the steam. Pettigrew staggered up, swaying slightly as he handed the figure a set of robes.

The figure stepped from the cauldron and stared coldly at Sirius. Sirius returned the glare. Nearly fourteen years had passed but he knew that face. It woke him from his sleep, it haunted his dreams. Whiter than a skull, with wide, livid scarlet eyes and a nose that was as flat as a snake's, with slits for nostrils.

Voldemort had risen again.


	16. Chapter 16

Again, and I say every time, but this fic really wouldn't be possible without Ambush99!

 **Chapter 16**

His nightmares had become reality, Voldemort was back. Death and subsequent resurrection had somehow made Voldemort more horrific than before. Tall, thin and pallid, with long pale fingers which he appeared to be examining with interest. Then there was the face, something that could only have been conceived in hell, which seemed highly appropriate given the owner.

"Wormtail, my wand," Voldemort demanded in his cold, high voice.

Still moaning in agony, clutching what remained of his bleeding arm, Pettigrew staggered up. "Yes, my l-lord," he stammered as he fumbled one-handed for the robes at his feet. He presented the wand to Voldemort before bowing deeply and sweeping backwards.

Voldemort twirled his wand between his fingers as though he was testing it. "Wormtail, come forward," Voldemort demanded. "Your arm!"

Yes my lord, thank you my lord," Wormtail whispered in a shaky voice, as he held out the bloodied stump of his arm.

"No, the other arm," Voldemort said coldly. He watched impatiently as Wormtail held his undamaged arm forward. With his wand he flicked the sleeve of Wormtail's robe up to reveal a dark tattoo, which he tapped, muttering a couple of words. "They'll come, they'll serve me again!"

One by one, masked, dark hooded figures appeared before Voldemort. He pointed his wand to each of them in turn, as though counting them, noting the missing places. "You have returned to my service. Some died in my service, they will be honoured. Some are imprisoned, they will be released. One has left my service forever, another is too cowardly to return; they will be killed. One has performed the greatest of tasks; he will be honoured above all others. But you must know, I will punish any disservice," he said as he walked up and down the line, pointing to each figure in turn. He spun around. "Avada Kedavra," he said lightly, as he pointed his wand at Wormtail.

Sirius bit back a scream as he watched his former friend fall to the ground, dead. Whatever Wormy had done, even with the betrayal of his friends, the torture he had put Sirius through, Wormy hadn't deserved that. The man had been his friend. He still strongly believed he had been scared; he had never been as strong as Remus or James. When he had confronted Peter nearly ten months ago, Sirius had been in pain, tired, confused, scared and bitter. Maybe he was just being nostalgic or maybe he just wanted an escape from the current hellhole he now found himself in. But looking down at his friend's dead body, at his wide, unseeing eyes, at the surprised face, he believed he didn't deserve this.

"Wormtail served me well. He helped me to return to my body, but I was failed. You see, my servant at Hogwarts was supposed to place the Triwizard Cup inside the maze and deliver Harry Potter, but no, he delivered Sirius Black, the man who caused my downfall. The man who escaped from our prison," Voldemort continued in his cold, high voice as he swept up to Sirius. "You see Mr. Black, you helped me return to my body and you will help me win my battle," he said as he ran a long finger down Sirius' cheek.

"Fuck you!" Sirius growled, as he spat in Voldemort's face. "I'll never fucking help you, you fucking monster."

"Now Mr. Black, where are your manners?" Voldemort replied, taking a step back. "Crucio!"

Sirius gritted his teeth as the familiar pain of the torture curse consumed his body. His limbs felt as though they were going to be ripped from his body. The feeling of white-hot knives, stabbing every fibre of his body, threatened to consume him, but he was not going to let Voldemort have the satisfaction of knowing it. No, he had come too far and fought too many battles to let that happen. "Is that the best you can do, you little shit," he spat. "You've fucking lost your touch."

"We'll see," Voldemort sneered back, dropping his arm to his side. "Bella, untie him."

Sirius watched apprehensively as his deranged cousin sauntered towards him with her familiar, over confident swagger. "Bella," he said pleasantly.

"Little cousin," Bellatrix said. She stood on tiptoes and ran her tongue down his face. "How nice to see you again. Frangeretur!"

Sirius bit down hard and clenched his jaw, as he felt a couple of ribs break. "You know, even now, even after all you have done for him, he still does not look at you," Sirius hissed. "You are worthless to him."

Bellatrix leant forward menacingly. "I will end you, cousin. I will make you suffer, like nothing you have ever experienced before!"

"Bella, leave him. I need him to duel. We will find some muggle or something you can 'play' with," Voldemort said in a bored tone. "Now, please untie him and give him his wand."

"Of course my lord," Bellatrix said, bowing low. She ran her wand down Sirius' chest, as a sick smile played upon her lips. "I'm going to enjoy watching you die, little cousin," she whispered in Sirius' ear. "Then the Dark Lord and I will enjoy some time together. Alone."

"I'm sure that will be 'delightful'," Sirius said, wincing as he was roughly thrown to the ground, receiving two sharp kicks for good measure. Another person viciously grabbed his hair and pulled him upright. His wand was slammed forcefully into his hand.

"So, Mr. Black, I have heard you are a skilful dueller. I know we have faced each other in the past but I feel you always got lucky. I never had the chance to properly duel with you," Voldemort said playfully as he twirled his wand between his long fingers. "Do you want to duel with me, Mr. Black?"

"No, you fucking piece of shit. I want to bring you to justice. You need to pay for what you have done!" Sirius bit back.

"Mr. Black, you and I know that will never happen. I have my followers, I will soon take power and then there will be no escape from us. We will rule and the muggles, blood traitors and half-bloods will pay! We will kill them all."

Sirius smiled and raised his eyebrows. "Half-bloods? Isn't this a muggle graveyard? Didn't Peter pull a bone from your father's grave, right here? Doesn't that make you a half-blood?" he taunted. He made a quick side-ways glance to the grave. 'Tom Riddle', he noted. He didn't have time to dwell on the name, before a jet of red light was shot in his direction. He just managed to dive behind a gravestone before it hit him, covering his head as the gravestone shattered around him.

"Come on, come out to play Mr. Black." Voldemort said playfully.

"Oh, did I hit a nerve 'Mr. Riddle'?" Sirius bit back.

"Crucio" Voldemort roared, aiming wildly in Sirius' direction.

Sirius rolled quickly out of the way to another vantage point. "So, Mr. Riddle, how should I address you? Mr. Riddle, or is it 'Tom'?"

"It is Lord Voldemort," Voldemort growled back as he cursed and looked around wildly. "Now are you going to fight like a man, or hide like a child?"

Sirius ducked low behind a statue as he considered his options. He was outnumbered by at least thirty-to-one. His options were limited - duel with Voldemort? This could lead to him killing the bastard, then more than likely being taken out by one of his death eaters. Would that be a case of cutting off the head of the snake, or would someone take his place? Or he could try to flee? He shook his head; this was the best chance of taking out Voldemort in fourteen years. He had to try and take it. Maybe he could stun him and bring him back to Hogwarts, an unlikely and highly improbable outcome, but the best one. "Stupefy," he yelled.

Voldemort narrowly dodged the curse. "Oh, we are afraid of the unforgivables," he sneered. "You are still that small, weak child I remember. Too scared to join my cause."

"No, I was never scared, I just never believed in you. I thought you were a sick bastard, so yes that hasn't changed," Sirius bit back.

"Ha! But you are still hiding behind a statue. You are still a scared child."

"No, you dumb fuck," Sirius mocked. "I would explain, but I doubt you have the mental capacity to understand." He ducked as the statue exploded behind him. He knew it was now or never, he knew he had to stand up and fight. Plan A was never going to work; as much as he wanted Voldemort to stand trial for the crimes he had committed, he knew he was never going to be able to bring him back to justice. Knowing this could well be the last action he ever did, he wanted it to be honourable. He wanted to go down fighting for friends and family. He just hoped someone would find his body so they would get closure. "Stupefy."

"Avada Kedavra," Voldemort yelled.

Both the curses met in mid-air and a gold beam grew from the middle, descending to each wand and connecting them. Sirius looked up as his wand appeared to lock onto Voldemort's, as they began to rise from the ground. By Voldemort's expression he was as shocked as Sirius was. Numerous grey, ghostly shapes began to rise from Voldemort's wand. Even if he'd wanted to let go of the wand, it appeared as though the curse, or spell, or whatever it was, refused to allow him to let go. He blinked several times as the nearest shape floated towards him. Peter? He thought, what the hell was going on?

"Sirius," Peter said. "I'm sorry. I was scared, but that doesn't make up for what I did. You were right, you were always right. I should have died rather than follow this creep. I'm sorry for what I did to you."

"Wormy?" Sirius said, his brow frowning in confusion.

The next ghostly shape floated towards him. Reg? He shook his head, what the hell was happening? Why was it happening?

"Sirius," Regulus said.

"Reg?" Sirius replied, still utterly confused.

"Sirius, I am sorry. I never should have followed him. I thought you were just going against mum and dad because you wanted to be difficult, but I know you were right now. You will not be able to kill him now."

"What?!"

"He's created Horcruxes," Regulus exclaimed. "You need to destroy them before you can destroy him."

"I don't understand. What are you talking about? Can he hear us?!" Sirius exclaimed, looking wildly at Voldemort whilst wincing slightly as his forearm began to tense up.

"No, he can't hear us. You have to destroy the Horcruxes in order to destroy him. I don't know how many he created, but I think I have one of them, Salazar Slytherin's locket. I tried to destroy it, but couldn't," Regulus replied.

"You think you have it? What the hell, Reg? What are Horcruxes? How many are there? Reg, help me," Sirius pleaded.

"I don't have answers to your questions brother. You need to go. You need to get back to Hogwarts," Regulus replied. "I am truly sorry, brother; I should have followed your lead."

"Reg, I'm, I, I'm sorry brother, I should have protected you. I should have taken you with me when I ran away."

"You did everything you could, but you need to get out of here. We will shield you from him, but you need to get back to Hogwarts," Regulus demanded.

"But, I don't understand," Sirius said desperately.

"We will block him, but you need to get back to Hogwarts. You need to stop him, you need to destroy the Horcruxes," Regulus pushed.

"You need to undo my mistakes," Wormtail added. "I was weak, you are not."

"Go! You need to go now, brother!"

Sirius took one final look at the two ghostly shapes before him. At the two people he could have saved if he had just tried a little harder. Two people Voldemort had murdered. He knew he couldn't kill Voldemort until he had destroyed all of the Horcruxes, not that he knew what they were. With an almighty effort, he pulled his wand up, severing the connection. He fell to the ground, rolling out of the way of a curse, wincing as his ribs protested. He ran wildly, in a zigzag fashion, as he felt curses and hexes whistle past him. He knew he somehow had to get back to Hogwarts, but how? He dove behind a gravestone, hearing the top of it explode where his head had been only moments ago.

"Leave him, he's mine!" Voldemort yelled, above the confusion and chaos.

Glancing to his right he saw the tri-wizard cup. Why had it taken him so long? If the cup had brought him here, it should take him back. He doubted apparition would work. Voldemort, no doubt, had set up powerful wards, only allowing death eaters or the portkey into the graveyard.

"Accio cup," he yelled, wincing as another piece of the gravestone struck his shoulder. He caught the cup in his left hand as it sailed through the air. The familiar tug at his navel, the world around him began to spin. He heard Voldemort's frantic scream. He was going back, away from the graveyard. He gasped as his chest landed heavily on the cup. His senses dulled, and his vision swam in and out of focus. The sounds around him were muffled. He was vaguely aware of someone calling his name and shaking him.

Moody was momentarily at a loss of what to do. He had walked to Dumbledore's office, to find the door slightly ajar. He had frowned, despite Hogwarts having the reputation of the most secure building in the British magical world, asides from perhaps Gringotts, it still concerned him. He doubted Dumbledore would have left it open, he knew for sure Sirius wouldn't. He had found Quirrell in the office. He knew Quirrell was of a nervous disposition, but his behaviour had taken it to another level. He had questioned the man as to Sirius' whereabouts, but the man had denied all knowledge. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Sirius had appeared. Which led him to his current situation.

"Sirius! Sirius!" he said, gently shaking his prodigy's shoulders.

Sirius blinked his eyes several times as he tried to clear his vision, but to no avail. He could just make out a very blurry Quirrell trying to slink out of the office. Using his last remaining strength, he rolled to one side, ignoring the excruciating pain, flung his arm out and yelled, "Stupefy!"

"Merlin, fuck," Moody swore, physically jumping back as he watched Quirrell's body collapse against the wall. "Sirius!" he called out urgently as he gently pulled him into a sitting position. He bit back a gasp when he observed the state of his prodigy. A deep, still bleeding, cut ran down his left arm. His clothes were torn in various places, showing a myriad of other cuts and bruises. His face was pale and bruised, with, worryingly, a thin trickle of blood coming from the corner of his mouth. But what concerned Moody most of all was the severely laboured breathing, taking way more effort than it should do. "Sirius?"

Sirius coughed up some of the coppery tasting blood from his mouth. Internal bleeding, not good, he thought to himself. He guessed it was only a matter of time before his luck finally ran out. "He's a death eater," Sirius said slowly.

"Quirrell?" Moody asked, as he watched Sirius nod.

"The cup was a portkey," Sirius said weakly, as his breathing became increasingly laboured. "It was meant for Harry."

"What?" Moody exclaimed, looking wildly around for some form of help.

"Voldemort's back," Sirius managed, before he slumped to one side, his eyes rolling back and his body growing still.

A/N: So, the original didn't involve Regulus and Sirius was okay at the end of it. Then I reread the scene in GOF, ah, well. Originally, Sirius was going to pick up on something Voldemort said and figure out about the Horcruxes. But then I thought why not use Regulus? In TOFTP, Sirius mentions his brother was an idiot and had gone soft. Not the harsh words he mentioned when he spoke about the rest of his family, which lead me to believe he loved his brother and felt guilt about his death. Well, that was my interpretation anyway. Sirius getting hurt… crap commute and work annoyed me, what can I say?

Thanks for everyone who had reviewed, favorited and followed. The next chapter is already in the works.


	17. Chapter 17

Thank you to Ambush99 for betaing this fic. This may be the last chapter before Christmas, I'm not sure yet. If it is, Happy Christmas!

 **Chapter 17**

"Seriously, what the hell?!" James exclaimed, as he burst into the room at St. Mungo's. 

Remus looked up and placed his finger to his lips, before pointing to their friend. Seeing his other friend about to open his mouth and start on another outburst, he quickly stood, grabbing James and pulling him out of the room.

"What the fuck Moony?! Get off me!" James yelled, pushing his friend back. "What the hell happened to Sirius?"

"I don't know."

"What the fuck!? You were sitting with him! What do you mean you don't know?" James snapped, as he started to pace up and down.

"If you'd let me finish," Remus protested, "I'd tell you. I know what his injuries are and that he's going to be okay, but I could only surmise how they occurred."

James stopped pacing and stared at his friend for a moment. "You weren't there? Then how did you find out before I did?"

"Severus."

"Snape?! What the hell! I've done everything to bury the hatchet, so has Sirius. If he's-"

"No," Remus said, cutting James off. "Severus brought him here upon Moody's request."

"He was on auror work."

"That's what I would guess."

"No, he was. He told me yesterday he was going to be at Hogwarts for work," James explained.

"Did he say why?"

"No, you know Sirius, all cloak and dagger. What happened to him?"

"Internal bleeding, five broken ribs, a punctured lung and numerous other cuts and bruises," Remus listed.

James winced and nodded. He took a moment to carefully eye his friend, he knew that look. "And?"

Remus sighed and looked at his friend, trying to gauge his reaction. "There are unmistakeable signs of dark magic and the cruciatus curse has been used."

"Fuck," James swore. "Again! I don't understand, he was at Hogwarts. How the hell does something like this happen? Did you see Moody? Did he say anything?" He watched Remus shake his head. "Another fucking enigma."

"Do you know what's happening between Sirius and Moody recently," Remus asked.

"Yes, but before you get all arsy with me, he only told me yesterday."

"Told you what?" Remus questioned.

James looked away for a moment, and sighed slightly. "Look mate, as much as I would love to tell you, it's not my place. But rest assured I will be forcing him to tell you. He can't do this alone; it's going to kill him."

Remus nodded in agreement. "What do you think happened?" he said as he leant against the wall.

"Merlin only knows. How the hell did death eaters get into Hogwarts? Igor Karkaroff has to be involved; it's the only thing that makes sense!" James exclaimed.

"Igor Karkaroff?"

"Durmstrang's headmaster. He was, or more than likely still is a death eater. Sirius and I were building a case against him." James tailed off.

Remus nodded, knowing why the case had run cold. "They said he would probably wake up in a couple of hours," he said changing the subject.

James nodded. "Knowing Padfoot, he's probably already awake. We better go in there before he does something stupid like try and discharge himself."

Remus nodded in agreement and followed his friend back into Sirius' room. Taking up his original seat next to Sirius, he picked up the Daily Prophet, handing James a section. "There's nothing about Sirius' attack, I've already checked. A great article about the tournament, by the way. 'A Hogwarts Victory', has a nice ring to it, doesn't it?"

Sirius tried to push the fog from his brain. He could make out two voices, two very familiar voices. James and Remus, he thought. He was lying on something warm and soft, a bed? Which could only mean, hospital? Why? Then the events of the graveyard came rushing back. He snapped his eyes open. Voldemort. The Hoxcruxes. He needed to get to work. Pushing himself up into a sitting position, he let his head fall into his hand, his hair covering his face. Concerned voices called his name, he ignored them. A hand on his shoulder. He pushed it away and reached for his now ruined shirt.

"Sirius!" James yelled.

Sirius winced and closed his eyes as his friend's voice pierced his tender skull. "James, please," he muttered.

"No, what the hell do you think you are doing?"

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Sirius replied calmly as he eyed his torn jeans.

"Being a bloody idiot," James snapped, looking at Remus for support.

"Sirius, you are at St. Mungo's and you've been badly hurt. You really need to rest," Remus said evenly.

"I know where I am and I'm not badly hurt, I'm fine," Sirius replied in an equally calm voice, as he started to pull on his jeans.

"Oh really, because having pretty severe internal bleeding, a punctured lung as well as being fucking tortured, is 'fine'," James snapped.

"I've had worse," Sirius replied quietly, as he rubbed his face and started to look around for his boots.

James stood up and exhaled sharply. "I fucking know, you don't need to bloody remind me."

Sirius stopped and looked up at his friend for a moment. At times he forgot just how much his disappearance and subsequent return had affected people, especially James. "Mate, I'm sorry, okay. I didn't mean it like that."

"Then, what the hell are you doing?" James demanded.

"I need to go back to the office," Sirius replied tiredly, grabbing his jacket.

"What the hell, Sirius?! No you don't, whatever it is can bloody wait! Moody, Fudge or whoever the fuck it is can bloody wait for your report. Moony, please help me," James pleaded desperately.

"Mate, James is right. No boss, no report is worth your health. You lost a lot of blood, you need to rest," Remus said calmly.

"Thank you for your concern Moony, but I'll be fine," Sirius said steadily as he laid a hand on his friend's shoulder, before brushing past him.

"It's not a report, is it?" Remus said to his friend's back.

Sirius turned to face his friends, before looking down and away. "I cannot say."

"Cannot or won't," James asked.

Sirius eyed his friends again. "You know because of-"

"Don't give me that crap about your job! You're going to kill yourself if you carry on like this, you realise that don't you?" James called out to the retreating figure. "Moony, aren't you going to do anything?!"

"Sirius is going to discharge himself whether you and I like it or not. Whether he does it now, five minutes from now, two hours or whenever, he's going to do it. The best we can do is try and ensure he doesn't do any further damage to himself," Remus reasoned.

"What?"

"Go after him and try to stop him from hitting his head when he passes out. I'll speak to the Healers and see if he needs anything."

James nodded, temporarily at a loss of what to do, before he turned on his heels and chased after his wayward friend. "What are you doing once you're at the office," he said, once he had caught up with Sirius.

"You're not going to stop me?" Sirius asked suspiciously.

"No, I still think you're a bloody idiot, but there's not a lot I can do about it."

Both men stood in silence as the lift slowly made its way up to the ground level. James eyed his friend carefully; the tight jaw, the folded arms and the tapping foot. Something had happened to his friend, something far more than a brutal death eater attack. "Mate, what happened?" he asked cautiously.

"It doesn't matter," Sirius said quietly.

"Clearly," James replied. "Look mate, I may have allowed you to discharge yourself from hospital, when clearly you should still be there, but I'm not going to let you get away with this."

"James, I..." Sirius started and paused for a moment as he tried to push back the light-headedness as he walked out into fresh air. He felt like hell, but he didn't have a choice. His memories after leaving the graveyard were hazy at best, but his memories from the graveyard were crystal clear.

"Sirius?"

"James, I," Sirius tried again. "I'm okay, I just need to head back to my place and change my clothes. I don't think I'll make the best impressions in these," he said, looking down at his torn and blood stained clothes.

"No? I can't imagine why," James said lightly. "I tell you what, how about we wait for Remus and then all head back to yours and figure this out together."

"James, I don't think we can," Sirius said quietly.

"We will," James said as he gently draped his arm around his friend's shoulders.

"Ah!" Remus said as he stepped out onto the street. "You're still here." He stopped to observe his two friends for a moment; Sirius dejected and James worried.

"We waited for you. We are all going to Sirius' place to figure some stuff out," James said earnestly, as he tightened his grip around his friend's shoulders. "Mate, do you reckon you're up to apparation?"

Sirius looked down for a moment and shook his head. "I don't think so."

"What's the best way to get to yours, Knight Bus?"

"Tube."

"What?" James questioned.

"London underground, there's a station two minutes from here, my place is five minutes' walk from the other end," Sirius explained. "I've got some muggle money on me."

"Let's head to the station then," Remus said, as he followed James and Sirius down the London street.

Sdf

"I hate to say it but this house is as dark and creepy as I remember," James said, his shoulders giving an involuntary shiver as he walked through the front door. It had been a relatively stressful twenty minute tube ride, as he had spent the whole time watching his friend like a hawk, waiting for him to pass out. But miraculously he hadn't.

"It's always felt like this," Sirius said quietly.

"Then why do you continue to live here?" Remus asked, knowing the answer would not be financial, with his friend's salary and personal wealth he could more than buy his own place.

"This place has wards and protective charms, second only to perhaps Hogwarts. It's unplottable and, with its strategic location, we'll need it when the next war starts," Sirius explained.

Remus nodded. "I understand that. Why are you still living here?"

"I haven't had a chance to study my parents' will. I don't know whether, if I move out and buy a new place, I'll be 'renouncing' my title and thus, the place will be passed to the next in line, my deranged cousin. I cannot let that happen."

Remus nodded again. "Again, I understand, but it doesn't make it right. Tell you what, let me have a copy of the will and I'll study it."

"Remus-"

"No, firstly, if we are going to use this place as a safe house, we need to know what we are dealing with. And secondly, and most importantly, I don't like the idea of you living here after everything they did to you in this place," Remus said watching his friend carefully.

Sirius looked away from his friends for a moment. "I'm going to have a shower and change my clothes; the kitchen is down the corridor if you want anything."

James and Remus exchanged looks in silence for a moment, before heading towards the kitchen. "I don't know what happened, but whatever it was has really seriously rattled him," James finally said, as they walked into the dusty kitchen.

Remus nodded in agreement. "His injuries could be explained by a simple death eater attack, but he was in the actual castle! None of it makes sense. He's hiding something."

"That much is evident," James replied, running a hand through his dishevelled hair. "I'm used to him being sparing with personal information, but this is taking it to another level!"

"What are we going to do?"

James took at moment to look around the dusty, grimy kitchen. "See if you can find anything to eat in this shithole. I'm going to pack stuff for him. He's staying with me for a few nights, you too. I have a feeling Sirius is hiding a lot from us, more than we think he is."

He slowly walked up the staircase made of rich, dark mahogany. The walls littered with dark, dusty paintings of Sirius' ancestors, looking down, seemingly sneering at him. Both Sirius and he had grown up financially comfortably, but that's where the similarities ended. Whilst he'd grown up happy and loved, his friend had grown up anything but loved. It was probably why his friend was so emotionally closed off at times, James mused.

"Sirius," James called out. "Mate, are you ready? I think Moony is trying to find some food, but I reckon he'll have more luck finding shampoo in Snape's bathroom."

"In here."

James followed the voice into a large, lavish room, with a heavy, ornate four poster bed, its thick hangings haphazardly pulled back. It wasn't the extravagant furnishings which brought a smile to his face, but the posters covering every square inch of the walls. "Your parents must have loved those," he said, pointing to the various muggle and Gryffindor posters. "I am presuming you used a permanent sticking charm?"

"Of course. It drove my dear mother mental," Sirius replied distantly.

Sirius watched with confusion as James picked up a bag from the corner of the room and started to stuff clothes into it. "What the fuck are you doing?" he growled.

"Packing."

"I can see that, but why?"

"You're staying with me for a couple of days," James replied simply.

"What the fuck?!" Sirius said, as he tried to push past his friend.

"I am worried about you and, after what happened yesterday, you shouldn't be alone."

"What? You've think I've gone soft in the head?" Sirius said dangerously.

"No," James said as he flung his arm out, catching the door frame, cutting off Sirius' escape route. He eyed his friend for a moment; he looked more dangerous than he had ever seen him. If he hadn't known Sirius better than the back of his own hand, he would have been backing off. But he knew Sirius. He knew the worst Sirius would do was swing a wicked right hook, painful, sure, but he knew his friend wouldn't put his weight behind it. He took a breath before he continued. "I just think you are juggling a lot of things right now and you lost a lot of blood yesterday. So, staying in this place, with the memories of what they did to you, is not a good idea."

"James. Prongs, mate, I'm fine," Sirius sighed as he rested his head against his arm. He winced as he heard his mother's portrait start her diatribe. He looked down and tried not to let each word hit like a blow to the stomach.

"Mate, look at me, do not listen to that crap," James said, laying his hands on his friend's shoulders. "It's crap. You are a good person, Sirius. It's not your fault your mother didn't want to see you for who you truly are."

Sirius shook his head. "Mate, that's the problem. She did, they all did and I was a disappointment to them."

"Then good," James said, backing off. "Sirius you are a good person. You mean a lot to me, Remus, Lily, Harry, Moody, your workmates and Merlin knows who else. Don't listen to her. For fuck's sake she's calling Remus a half breed, do you really believe someone like that?!"

"N-No it's Remus, he's a good guy and powerful wizard, he's not a half breed for fuck's sake."

"And you?"

Sirius looked up. "Mate, this is too big."

James nodded. "I know, I don't know what you are dealing with but it's too big for you alone. Let me and Remus in, we can help. You cannot deal with this alone!"

Sirius dropped his head and bit his lip. "Okay," he said quietly.

James wrapped his arm around Sirius' shoulders and led him out of the room. "We'll figure it out. Whatever it is we'll figure it out, like we figured out how to help Remus. Like we figured out how to get you away from your family, so you could be safe."

"Mate, you have nothing in your kitchen. Well, you had a couple of tea bags and something called 'pot noodle'," Remus said as his two friends walked into the dusty kitchen.

"You just add boiling water to it," Sirius explained.

"I know, I can read," Remus said rolling his eyes. "I hope it's up to sir's satisfaction."

"Thanks Remus," Sirius said, taking the pot gratefully.

James eyed his pot suspiciously. Peeling back the foil lid cautiously, he sniffed it. "What charm did you use?"

"I didn't."

"What?" James questioned.

"It's a muggle snack," Sirius replied.

"Muggles can do magic?" James replied doubtfully.

"No," Sirius laughed, taking James' pot from him. With seemingly previous experience, he dug his fork into the mixture and fished out a small soy sauce packet. Tearing it open he emptied it into the pot. "The muggles use a machine to dehydrate the food. Then you just add boiling water to rehydrate it."

"Interesting," James said, still with suspicion.

"I used to live off these when I was seventeen," Sirius said through a mouthful.

"They taste like cardboard," James exclaimed as he took a mouthful. "No wonder you always came over to mine for a Sunday roast."

"That, and your mum's roast is too good to miss."

James and Remus exchanged glances once they had finished the noodles, both unsure of how to address the elephant in the room. "Mate," James started. "What happened yesterday?"

Sirius took a careful sip of his tea and eyed his friends carefully. "I don't know how much James has told you about yesterday," he started.

"Just you were at Hogwarts for work," Remus replied.

Sirius nodded. "Moody and I thought whoever killed Crouch would be watching the third task. Hence, Moody and I were at Hogwarts. Anyway, we were going to meet at Dumbledore's office to discuss what we were going to do. I got there earlier and found Quirrell with the tri-wizard cup." He paused and took a breath for moment. He looked away, avoiding eye contact with James. "The cup was a portkey."

"What?" James exclaimed as he looked at his best friend, a highly talented and trained auror, Moody's right hand man. A man who had barely escaped whatever had happened with his life. "Sirius?"

"Quirrell is a death eater. When I touched the cup it transported me to a graveyard," Sirius said, and he started to explain the events of the graveyard.

"How did Peter get there?" Remus interjected.

"I'm not sure," Sirius said. "I can only guess it has something to do with his Animagus form."

"Why the graveyard?"

"It was where Voldemort's father is buried. Voldemort's real name is Tom Riddle, he's a half blood," Sirius explained.

"Why did Peter and Quirrell need you at the graveyard?"

"They didn't want me," Sirius said softly.

"They wanted Harry, didn't they," James replied quietly.

Sirius nodded. "They needed one of Voldemort's enemies for the ritual. I guess he was thinking about the prophecy, but as I was there I would do."

"Wait, he?"

"Voldemort," Sirius replied, rubbing his face. He stood up and walked to the fireplace, and leant against it. "He's back."

"Oh Merlin," Remus exclaimed. "How?"

"Peter performed the ritual. He needed a bone from his father's grave, Peter as his servant gave his own arm and he needed-"

"Your blood," James finished, taking Sirius' bandaged arm.

"Yeah," Sirius sighed. "He killed Peter. He was scared; he was forced to do it."

"Sirius I can't believe you are defending him!" James exclaimed. "He betrayed us. He kidnapped and tortured you. He was prepared to deliver my son to Voldemort."

"I know," Sirius said holding his hands up. "I am not excusing his actions and I don't have Stockholm syndrome. He was never as strong as us. I think he was scared and then got in over his head."

"What happened next?" Remus pushed.

Sirius sighed and paced to the other side of the room. "After he touched the tattoo on Peter's arm, the death eaters started to arrive." He began to explain how Voldemort had greeted them, and the duel.

"Your wand connected with Voldemort's?" Remus cut in. He watched his friend nod. "Do you know why?"

Sirius shrugged. "I think it has something to do with the Prior Incantato, the reverse spell effect." He stopped and looked down for a moment, not knowing how to continue. "I saw Peter's and..." He stopped again, running a hair through his dishevelled hair. "And my brother."

"Your brother? That means…" Remus trailed off.

Sirius nodded. "Yeah," he breathed. "Voldemort killed my brother because he turned against him and found out his secret."

"I'm so sorry, Sirius."

"Thanks."

"Secret?"

"He's immortal."

"What? How? "James demanded.

"I am not sure exactly, but Reg said he had created something called a Horcrux. Do you know what they are?" He watched his friends shake their heads. "Reg reckoned he had created more than one. In order to destroy Voldemort, we have to destroy the Horcruxes."

"Shit," James swore. "Okay, we need a plan."

"Well, we need to find out what Horcruxes are," Remus started. "Sirius, what do you think?"

"I've no idea what Horcruxes are, but if it's part of making Voldemort immortal, we are dealing with very dark magic. I am sure there will be something about them in my family's library."

Remus nodded. "You need to brief Moody. I'll stay here and have a look around the library if that's okay."

"Sure," Sirius said calmly. "Mate, don't listen to what my mother or the house-elf say. You are worth far more than that."

"So are you," Remus countered.

Sirius found a small smile. "Don't let this place get to you."

"I won't," Remus said as he pulled Sirius into a fierce brotherly hug.

James draped his arm around Sirius' shoulders as they walked towards the front door. "Mate, you really do have more lives than a cat. What do you think Moody is going to say?"

Sirius shook his head. "Read me the riot act. Yell a lot. It's not Moody I'm worried about, it's Fudge. I am not sure he will believe me."

"Why wouldn't he?"

"Because he hates me," Sirius said simply.

"Surely, he wouldn't let something like that get in the way…" James trailed off as he looked at his best friend. "Fuck, that's why Moody was getting you to reform the Order. He knew something like this would happen. He knew Fudge would try and deny it."

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, I guess I need to accelerate the plan."


	18. Chapter 18

A huge thank you to Ambush99 for betaing this chapter!

Another chapter before Christmas! I really didn't think it was going to happen but there you go. Happy Christmas everyone!

 **Chapter 18**

Moody paced up and down his office. Twenty four hours ago his life had been uncomplicated, well as uncomplicated as it had ever been. Then, what should have been a simple observation job had turned into the current situation. Sirius had returned half dead. Voldemort had returned and now, one of their key suspects was worse than dead. He knew Fudge was an idiot. He had suspected he would denounce any notion that Voldemort had returned, but this was taking it to the extreme. He ran a hand through his thinning hair. He had been distracted; he had taken his eye off the ball. Sirius had been critically injured; he'd been more concerned about him than anything else going on around him. He had let Fudge 'question' Quirrell, only to later find Fudge had summoned a Dementor. Now they had no chance to question him and find out Voldemort's plans. He grabbed his battered travelling cloak. He would check on Sirius and see how the lad was doing. As much as it pained him that Sirius had been hurt, they had been lucky. He doubted anyone else would have got out of that situation alive. He sighed, he almost thought of Sirius as the son he never had, but then why did he send him out to situations where he knew there was a possibility he may not return?

"Moody?" Kingsley asked nervously, as his head of department strode past him.

"Kingsley, don't let anyone go out on any missions until you have my go ahead," Moody said, barely stopping to make eye contact.

"Where's Sirius?" Kingsley pushed, observing his colleague's absence.

"He's currently unavailable," Moody said evenly.

"What?" Kingsley pushed. "Moody, what's happening? Why is Fudge summoning Dementors?"

"I will explain everything later. Just, please, no one goes out on missions until I have briefed them. The situation has changed."

"Does it involve Sirius?"

"Yes," Moody said quietly.

"Is he okay?"

"He will be."

Kingsley nodded. "I'll recall Butler and Stokes, everyone else is back," he said calmly. "Whatever it is, it's big isn't?"

Moody nodded sadly. "Yes, the worst news we've had in nearly fourteen years."

"He's back isn't he?" Kingsley questioned. He watched Moody nod. "And Sirius was there?" He watched Moody nod again. "Damn it! Why can't the world give him a bloody break?! You and Sirius knew something like this would happen."

Moody nodded again. "Yes, I never believed he'd died, nor did Sirius. I always believed he was out there, growing in strength, waiting for the right moment to return."

"What caused him to disappear the first time?"

"I'm sorry; I'm not at liberty to discuss that."

"What are we going to do to defeat him?" Kingsley asked.

"We already have a plan in motion," Moody replied.

"It's what you and Sirius have been working on since he returned," Kingsley said. He watched Moody nod, confirming his theory. "You think it's going to be worse than last time, don't you?"

"Yes, but we are better prepared this time. Sirius was not supposed to survive, he was not supposed to bear witness and warn us."

"What does Fudge say?"

"He questions the mental stability of the witness," Moody growled.

"What? He thinks Sirius is lying?"

"Basically, yes. He believes Sirius has made it up for attention!" Moody spat.

"What the hell?! Does he know how ridiculous that sounds? Why does he think Sirius would make it up for attention?" Kingsley exclaimed.

"Don't ask me to try and fathom the mind of that bloody man. Personally, I think he feels threatened by Sirius. I reckon he thinks Sirius is after his job."

"What? Sirius after Fudge's job?! The man's insane. Don't get me wrong, I think Sirius would do a far better job than Fudge but-"

"You aren't alone in that opinion," Moody cut in. "A lot of people think that. I think this has pushed Fudge over the edge. If he believes Voldemort has returned, then he has to admit Sirius has been right all of this time. I reckon he thinks that will destroy him politically."

"He's worried about his career and bloody politics!" Kingsley exclaimed. "Does he remember what it was like last time?! My uncle was murdered by death eaters. How many colleagues did we lose?! And Fudge is worried about his bloody career. Does he realise there won't be a Ministry if Voldemort returns to full strength!"

"The man's incompetence is showing more and more each day," Moody said darkly as he started to walk towards the door. "I'll be back in a bit; I just need to see Sirius."

"Where is he?"

"At St. Mungo's."

"Is he badly hurt?"

Moody nodded. "He probably shouldn't be alive," he said grimly.

"If he needs anything, let me know," Kingsley said kindly.

"Of course," Moody said as he clapped his hand on Kingsley's shoulder. He walked out of the department, sinking his hands deep into his pockets, lost in thought. All he knew was the cup was a portkey, Quirrell was a death eater and Voldemort had returned. He wondered how much trauma the lad could take. Was he right placing Sirius at the front of his campaign? Hadn't the lad already suffered enough trauma in his life to fill several lifetimes?

"What the fuck is he doing here?" Moody growled, as he watched two figures get out of lift.

"Moody, I'm sorry. I tried but-" James started.

"Evidently not hard enough. Why didn't you bloody hex him or something! Do you realise how badly hurt he is!"

"Do I? Yes, I bloody do. I didn't want to hex him as I didn't want to hurt him any more than he already is! You weren't there the first time," James snapped. "He was going to discharge himself whether we liked it or not. So I thought it best if I went with him. I didn't want him to pass out alone and smack his head."

"Err, I am here by the way," Sirius said softy.

"Well you shouldn't be. Bloody stupid thing you did discharging yourself. They were keeping you in for a fucking reason. Did you ever think of that? Or are you now a bloody healer?" Moody growled.

"I feel like crap, okay!" Sirius bit back. "But I need to talk to you. What happened at the graveyard changes everything. It changes our plan. I've told James and Remus what happened, but I need to discuss it with you."

Moody took a moment to look Sirius up and down. The man looked terrible, he wondered how he even had the ability to stand, let alone walk into the office. "Fine," he said as he led them into the department. "You stay here," he growled at James.

"Do you want me in there?" James asked his friend, ignoring Moody's request.

"I'll be okay, thanks," Sirius replied as he followed Moody into his office.

"Sit," Moody barked.

Sirius sank gratefully into the deep armchair, doubting his ability to remain upright for much longer. He let his head fall into his hands and closed his eyes for a moment. "Thanks," he muttered as something heavy and warm was draped over his shoulders.

Giving Sirius a moment to collect his thoughts, Moody busied himself with making tea. "So what did you want to talk to me about," he said placing a mug of steaming tea in front of Sirius.

"About what happened in the graveyard," Sirius said quietly, not bothering to look up.

"That much I surmised."

"Voldemort's back," Sirius said, finally looking up.

"You told me."

"I'm sorry; my memory after leaving the graveyard is pretty hazy."

"I'm not surprised," Moody said eventually. "You told me Voldemort was back. That the cup was a portkey and it was meant for Harry. And Quirrell was a death eater."

Sirius nodded. "We need to question him!"

"We can't."

"Why not?"

"Fudge, in yet another display of his 'wisdom', summoned a Dementor."

"Fuck," Sirius swore, looking away for a moment. "We needed him. He was in Voldemort's inner circle."

"Sirius, what happened out there?" Moody pushed gently.

Sirius rubbed his tired face. "It's complicated. I don't understand most of it."

"Try me."

"Well," Sirius began, and he started to tell Moody what had happened in the graveyard.

"The wands connected?" Moody said finally.

"Yeah," Sirius breathed. "It performed a connection. I don't know how or why."

"You got your wand from Olivander's?" Moody asked, watching Sirius nod. "I can only speculate, but I believe you are thinking the same thing. I think for some reason the connection forced the reverse spell affect to take place." He watched Sirius nod sadly. "Who did you see?"

"Wormy and my brother," Sirius said quietly.

"Did they...?" Moody trailed off, not knowing how to approach the topic.

"I 'saw' both of them. Wormy apologised. He said he was wrong. My brother, Reg, he said..." Sirius stopped and rubbed his face again. "He told me Voldemort had created Horcruxes."

"A Horcrux?" Moody questioned.

"You don't know what they are?" Sirius asked.

"No," Moody said, shaking his head.

"All I know is they have essentially made him immortal. In order to kill him, we have to destroy the horcruxes," Sirius explained. "Remus is looking into it in Grimmauld Place's library."

"Merlin!" Moody exclaimed as he stood up and started to pace up and down.

"What did Fudge say?" Sirius asked. He watched Moody's expression turn grim. "He doesn't believe me does he?"

"No," Moody said, shaking his head.

"Great," Sirius said sarcastically. "Did our 'great leader' say why?"

"He thinks you made it up for attention and well, well he questions your mental state."

"Fantastic. He thinks I'm a mad, attention seeking freak!"

"He thinks you are after his job."

"I wish people would quit with these bloody rumours, because I don't want his stupid job! I just, I just want my friends and family to be happy and safe, that's all I've ever wanted."

"I know," Moody said softly. "Get yourself back to the Potters' and rest up. We'll attack this on all fronts in a few days."

Sirius nodded and allowed himself to be guided out of the office, too tired to do anything else. "Thanks," he muttered.

"Get him home," Moody said, directing his request to James.

"Of course," James said as he pulled Sirius' arm around his shoulders. "Come on mate, let's get you home."

Dsd

He woke, with sunlight streaming through the small gap in the curtains. He stretched out carefully. His body just ached now, opposed to the pain he had felt earlier. He had only vaguely remembered the journey to James', his friend pretty much holding him up the whole way.

Gauging by the amount of sunlight streaming through the window, he guessed it had to be about midday. So, he was late for work. He hoped Moody would let him off this once, he doubted it but he could at least try. He wondered if James' mood had improved. He vaguely remembered his friend muttering how stupid he was for most of the journey. Then there was Remus. Had he made any progress? He knew it had only been a few hours, but Remus was such a diligent student, it wouldn't surprise him if he had.

Gingerly, he sat up. Seeing as the world had stopped spinning, he carefully stood up. He looked around the room. His boots had been carefully placed beside the chair and his jacket on the back of it. He had vaguely remembered James taking his jacket and boots off, before he had presumably passed out. Not bothering to put his boots on, he padded downstairs barefoot.

"You're awake," James said as he watched his friend walk into the kitchen. He looked at him for a moment. He still didn't look 100%, but there was a marked improvement from last time.

"What are you doing here?"

James frowned. He was sure Remus hadn't mentioned anything about a head injury, plus Sirius had been completely compos mentis last time he had spoken. "I live here," he said slowly.

"I bloody know that. Why aren't you at work?"

"Because it's Saturday. Mate, you've been out of it for a couple of days," James explained.

"What?" Sirius said, looking confused. "Did you give me a sleeping draught?"

"No. Believe me I considered it. But it appears your body is far more sensible than your mind."

"Shit James, you should've woken me. You know how much work I've got to do!" Sirius said, running a hand through his hair.

"No, I didn't need to wake you, you needed to rest. You should never have left St. Mungo's. Remember, you're not alone in this anymore. You've got Moody, Remus and me. Not forgetting anyone else you have recruited. You cannot do this alone mate, especially not now. The bastard is bloody immortal!" James bit back. "Sirius you need us, and we need you, but that's not going to happen if you carry on like this!"

"You think I'm fucking nuts as well!"

"No I don't and you bloody know it," James snapped. "I think you don't know how or when to ask for help. This is huge. We need the stupid Ministry behind us!"

"Well that's not going to fucking happen!"

"What?!"

"Fudge thinks I'm fucking crazy!"

"Shit," James swore. "He's the crazy one. What the hell is he thinking?"

"He doesn't think. You know that," Sirius said bitterly.

"What are we going to do?"

"I don't know mate," Sirius said quietly as he leant against the kitchen counter top. "I know it makes sense to reform the Order, I just don't know if I'm the right person to lead it. What if others believe Fudge? Then we'll be screwed from the outset. My leadership could destroy everything."

"The people in the Order will believe you; I'm guessing you didn't recruit Fudge?"

"Of course I bloody didn't."

"People will believe you."

"How? When Fudge doesn't. When he controls the Daily Prophet, you know he'll block any news about Voldemort's return. He'll smear anyone who speaks against him. He's already trying it with me," Sirius said anxiously, as he started to pace up and down.

"Well his smear campaign against you isn't working very well is it," James countered. "Fudge's popularity is decreasing on an almost daily basis. He is seen as becoming more and more unreasonable, so if he starts openly attacking you-"

"Oh come on James, don't be so naïve. Voldemort returning is everyone's worst nightmare. Fudge will paint me as crazy and an attention seeker. He'll use my school record-"

"What, as a kid who was bright but messed around a bit? Mate, I think most people can identify with that," James cut in. "I think, if you remember, generally our main objective was not to get caught."

Sirius shook his head. "Mate, you don't understand his game. He'll probably try and pass off my time in captivity as, well living it up abroad and getting on the wrong side of someone's husband."

"What?! Oh come on that's seriously far-fetched!"

"Is it? Who witnessed my imprisonment? Who witnessed my escape? No one James, you are all relying on my word!" Sirius exclaimed as he continued to pace.

"I believe you because I know you. Plus your injuries were not consistent with someone who was just attacked; they were consistent with someone who had prolonged exposure to torture. Then there's Peter's evidence. There is no way he can deny what happened to you!" James retorted.

"Fine! He'll use it against me. He'll say it destroyed me. You yourself said you didn't know anyone who would survive what I went through. He will try and discredit me, but he can't derail the mission. We have to bring down Voldemort!" Sirius said passionately, as he finally stopped pacing. "We can't let Voldemort go through with his plan. He's planning on taking over the Ministry. He's threatening to kill blood traitors, half bloods and muggles. Merlin only knows what he has planned for werewolves, goblins, house elves and anyone else who doesn't fit his exacting standard of what is 'pure'. A bit of a fucking joke considering he's a half blood himself!"

"We will Sirius. Mate, we will stop him," James said, shaking Sirius' shoulders. "Wait, what? Voldemort is a half-blood?"

"His father was a muggle by the name of 'Tom Riddle'," Sirius explained.

"So he wants to destroy himself?"

"No, he loves himself. It's the only thing he's capable of loving, that and his newly acquired pet. He's a crazy, delusional psychopath. Unfortunately, he's one who just happens to wield incredible power. The muggles would refer to his atrocities in the first war as genocide. It's happening right now in the muggle world."

"Sirius, how the hell do you know this?"

"I read."

"When?"

"When I can't sleep."

"Mate," James said slowly. "How badly are you sleeping?"

Sirius looked away. "Mate, I've got to get to Olivander's before it closes," he said, changing the subject.

"Sirius?" James said tensely.

"James, I've got to get to Olivander's before it closes," Sirius repeated.

"Fine," James said defeatedly. "But we'll discuss this tonight." He watched his friend make a face. "I don't care. Remus is coming over. Also, give me one of your damn muggle books. Now I'm part of the plan, I need to help plan it."

Dhf

Sirius stood nervously outside of Olivander's shop for a moment. He could still remember when he'd got his wand as though it were yesterday. His relationship with his parents had already broken down, not quite to the extent it would it in a few days when he'd be sorted into Gryffindor, but it was still strained at best. Then he had spent the best part of two hours until he had found the right wand.

Sighing heavily, he stepped forward and pushed the door, quietly slipping off the street. There was a faint tinkle of a bell somewhere in the back of the shop.

"Ah, Mr. Black, good to see you again."

Sirius shuddered slightly as Olivander appeared. The man still had the ability to slightly creep him out, along with the ability to stand closer than necessary.

"Thirteen and a half inches, cedar with a phoenix tail feather core. Excellent for transfiguration and defence. A tricky customer if I remember correctly; no matter, we got there in the end. But as I always say, it's the wand that chooses the wizard."

Sirius smiled tightly. As much as Olivander unnerved him, he needed this information. "Mr. Olivander, do you mind if I ask you a question?" he said politely.

"Of course Mr. Black, please ask away."

Sirius took a breath and looked around for a moment. "Have you ever heard of a wand performing the reverse spell effect without the incantation?" He frowned. Was it him, or had Olivander gone several shades paler? "Mr. Olivander?"

"Yes, it is a very rare occurrence, when two wands with the same core are forced against each other. I remember every wand I've ever sold Mr. Black, every one. The same phoenix who gave the feather for your wand, only gave one other. The wizard who bought it at the time was called Tom Riddle."

Sirius leant heavily against the shop counter top and fought back the nausea that threatened. He was vaguely aware of Olivander continuing to talk. With great effort, he forced himself back to reality.

"But I think you know Tom Riddle by his other name. I think that's why you were always destined to be connected somehow."


	19. Chapter 19

**Happy new year everyone!**

I always say this, but I'll say it again. Thank you Ambush99 for betaing this fic! You are amazing!

So, I've planned quite a lot of this fic, and written future bits and pieces. Ah, well there will be at least three more very significant characters deaths, and two more hang in the balance.

Also, thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, favorited and followed so far.

 **Chapter 19**

Sirius stood outside of the Ministry for a moment, temporarily at a loss of what to do. The recent revelations had shaken him to the core. His blood had been used to resurrect Voldemort, coupled with the revelation of Horcruxes, and then there was his wand. Olivander had always creeped him out but he was one of, if not the, most talented wand makers in the world. Had he, Sirius Black, always been destined to connect with Voldemort? He had always fought and disagreed with the dark side, but to be Voldemort's key adversary? He did not know. He wondered how far Fudge's influence went, how many people thought he was a crazy, attention seeking fool? How badly had he undone Moody's hard work to form close alliances?

Sighing heavily, he ran a hand through his hair. It was now or never, he couldn't continue to stand outside the Ministry any longer or he risked drawing attention to himself. He wondered if anyone else, aside from himself, Moody and Fudge, knew about Voldemort's return, and did they believe him? The last time he'd felt this nervous returning to the Ministry was over five months ago, when he had returned for the first time in thirteen years or, as many had coined it, when he had returned from the dead. He had little recollection of his brief appearance a few days ago, the days seeming to blur into a mix of jumbled conversations and colours. He still felt slightly stiff from his injuries and mildly out of breath on occasions but, considering what could have happened, he knew he was lucky. He knew he was living on borrowed time. He knew he had never been meant to escape that graveyard, like he was never meant to escape the prison they had held him in, nor should he have escaped when Voldemort tried to force him into his service when he was barely sixteen.

He shook his head. He could not continue to think of the 'what ifs', they were never going to help him defeat Voldemort. He needed to go back to work and continue his job. Fudge may have dismissed his account out of hand, but that would not prevent him from fighting Voldemort and his followers. It would not stop him from protecting any of Voldemort's targets. He hoped it was not going to be like last time, but he knew it would be. Last time they had had the Ministry's support, and this time they had an incompetent leader who refused to listen. Without another thought, he stepped into the nearest Floo point and almost instantaneously stepped out into the Ministry. Striding through the atrium, he tried to ignore the stares and whispers, but were they even looking at him, or was it his paranoia? Was he as crazy as Fudge said he was? Considering what he had been through, he certainly should have been, but somehow he wasn't. He looked around; no one had even acknowledged his presence. He smiled softly, of course Fudge hadn't released the news of Voldemort's return. He was too scared, too weak to acknowledge it. Not particularly wanting to talk to anyone, he made his way quickly to the lifts, ignoring any possible eye contact. In the recent months it had been constant, people always asking him to support their campaigns or run for Ministry of Magic. Normally he didn't mind, but today wasn't one of those days. Today he needed to reform the Order and start the fight against Voldemort.

"Hi Kingsley," he said as he walked into the office. "Moody in?"

"Sirius!" Kingsley exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"I work here."

"I know that, but shouldn't you be in St. Mungo's or something?"

"I'm fine mate," Sirius replied with a tight smile.

"Moody's in the library," Kingsley replied, answering Sirius' earlier question. "This has something to do with you-know-who's return, doesn't it?"

Sirius nodded as he sank down at his desk. "Yeah," he said slowly. "Did he say anything?"

"Moody?" Kingsley asked. He watched Sirius nod nervously. "No, he hasn't said a lot since Thursday. He told me to recall everyone on that Wednesday and said no one should go out until he'd briefed everyone. He let everyone know about, well, you-know-who returning, on Thursday morning."

"And?"

"And we believe you! Unlike Fudge, we don't have our heads so shoved up our own arses that we don't see the truth in front of us."

"You believe me?" Sirius questioned.

"Why wouldn't we?"

"I don't know, I've produced no evidence!"

"We don't need evidence. Sirius, we believe you because we know you. Out of everyone, you are the last person to joke about you-know-who returning!"

Sirius sighed. "Mate, I, well what did he say?"

"Not a lot," Kingsley said, leaning against Sirius' desk. "Just said he had returned and we needed to be prepared. We surmised the fact you were somehow involved, due to your lack of presence. Moody begrudgingly mentioned you were in St. Mungo's to me, but no one else."

"Right," Sirius said as he ran a tired hand through his hair. "Where did everyone else think I was?"

Kingsley shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know, but probably something to do with you-know-who's return."

Kingsley paused for a moment as he looked his colleague up and down. He still looked terrible. He knew Moody had all but appointed Sirius as his successor and, despite his career ambitions, he knew it was the right thing. He couldn't think of anyone he would rather lead the department in times of war than Sirius. The man seemed to take everything the world threw at him and brush it off, then carry on walking into danger as though it was nothing. 'But at what cost?' he thought.

"What else?"

Sirius' voice was so soft he almost missed it. "What?"

"You didn't just come over here to chew the fat, what else is it?" Sirius questioned.

"Well, I know it is probably the last thing you want to think about, but the WP meeting is today in an hour," Kingsley said nervously.

Sirius sighed and leant back on his chair so he had it tilting on the back two legs. "Mate, the world has got to continue spinning. Have you got the agenda?"

"Sure," Kingsley said, handing the parchment over.

"Great," Sirius said, letting his head fall into his hand. "Werewolves, a topic I'm _so not '_ passionate' about," he said sarcastically.

"If you don't want to go, I can go in your place," Kingsley offered.

"No, I need to. He's going to use it as a test."

"What?"

"Fudge is going to watch me and try to use anything to discredit me. He doesn't want to acknowledge Voldemort's return," Sirius stated, ignoring Kingsley's flinch at the mention of Voldemort's name. "If I stop attending WP meetings he'll say I'm not committed or I'm ill or something. No, I have to play my game to counter his. He may not acknowledge Voldemort's return, but I need to appear as a credible witness."

Kingsley nodded. "Sure, but not if you turn up to the meetings looking half dead. You'll just play right into his hand."

"Do I look that bad?"

"You've looked better."

"Thanks," Sirius said sarcastically. "I'll get a couple of coffees down me and I'll be fine. I've had worse and done more."

That's what I'm worried about, Kingsley thought. "Sure, but don't have the coffee on the left. Tonks made it and unless you want to be bouncing off the walls, well…"

"Thanks for the heads up," Sirius replied as he wandered towards the coffee at the far end of the room.

He leant against the lift walls as he tried to compose himself. He absolutely could not argue with Fudge, he needed to remain calm and collected. No debating with Fudge. No pushing his agenda. Just smiling and nodding, that was his new agenda. Agree with Fudge, anything else could seriously derail the Order's plans.

"Minister," Sirius said pleasantly, as he stepped into the plush corridor.

"Ah Mr. Black, so good of you to turn up. Especially after your little 'turn' a few days ago," Fudge said with a smile which didn't reach the eyes.

"Thank you," Sirius said returning the pleasantries, as he followed the others into the cabinet room. He sank down in his chair, trying to avoid eye contact with the others. He smiled and nodded, vaguely aware of Fudge's droning voice. He just had to survive this meeting, then he could hide away in the office. He could not let his temper derail the process.

"So, we come to our final item of the agenda, werewolves," Fudge said, as he started to wrap up the meeting. "As we are all aware, they are highly dangerous creatures and need to be stopped. My proposal is to round them up and place them in a secure unit."

Sirius closed his eyes and bit back his reaction, but all he could think about was his friend. How ill and terrified he looked during the days before his transformations. He thought about their time at Hogwarts, his easy laugh and how kind he was to the younger students. How patient and understanding Remus had been when he had returned from whatever dank hellhole the death eaters had held him in. He shook his head. He couldn't. He couldn't let this one go. He wasn't going to let one of his best friends be shipped away like some form of criminal. "You are no better than Hitler," Sirius hissed.

"I'm sorry Mr. Black but who is this 'Hitler' you talk of?" Fudge said in a mocking tone.

"Fine, I'll use a torturing bastard you are familiar with, Voldemort!" Sirius bit back.

Fudge paled slightly. "Come now Mr. Black, do we really need to go through this?"

"Go through what?" Sirius challenged, with a raised eyebrow.

"Well…" Fudge trailed off nervously.

Sirius found a smile, despite the situation. So, he thought, he's too scared to even acknowledge the event. "Well, I was merely referring to your, well how do I say it politely, barbaric segregational movement."

"Err," Fudge stuttered nervously, as he ran a finger between his seemingly tight collar. "I just want to keep people safe."

"I know," Sirius said kindly. "And so do I. I just think there's a better way to deal with it."

"Werewolves are barbaric, dangerous creatures who live in the underworld!"

Sirius nodded thoughtfully. "One night a month, I'm not denying they are dangerous but there have been so many advances, such as wolfsbane. Barbaric, sure a few of them are, but that's like judging all wizards by the individuals who have become death eaters," he said, tactically not mentioning Voldemort's name. "As to the underworld, how much is that our doing? We don't allow them to hold down a position, and if they do manage to get a job, they can barely scrape a living. If they were bitten as a child, most didn't receive an education because we were too scared. So you have to ask yourself, why do they live underground? Why do they hate the wizarding community? Why? Because we made them hate us."

"Mr. Black, they are just werewolves, they aren't worthy of our time," Fudge said lightly.

It took every part of him not to either storm out, or smack Fudge square in the jaw. No, that would just add fuel to Fudge's fire that he was a crazy, attention seeker. He needed to remain calmer, far calmer than he already had. "Minister, you probably already know one of my best friends is a werewolf. And he is one of the kindness, most gentle and intelligent person I've ever had the privilege to meet. Yes, one night a month he turns into a beast, I'm not going to deny that, but he takes every precaution. Because of the Ministry's crappy policies he cannot get a job, therefore he cannot buy wolfsbane out of his own pocket, so James and I do. I don't care, neither does James. If money is slightly tighter at the end of the month then so be it. If that's the cost of keeping our best mate safe, then so be it. Remus would do anything to prevent the wolf from hurting anyone, fuck he would probably allow himself to be rounded up. That's because he's so, I don't know, he's a better person than any of us in this room. And yes, he was lucky. He had two parents who loved him, and would have done anything for him. He was fortunate enough to be able to receive an education. And yes, he has friends willing to fight for him. So, rather than segregating them, why not extend an olive branch? I fully admit I am biased when it comes to this topic, but can we not try?"

"What about the werewolves who attack?" a voice to his left asked.

"Then they should be treated like any other suspect - tried and, if found guilty, sent to Azkaban like any other criminal," Sirius replied.

"Perhaps we should postpone this vote until you have fully recovered from your little 'turn' last week," Fudge said in a sickly voice. "You are obviously still affected by it and cannot think clearly."

Of course I'm fucking affected by it, Sirius thought, but not to the point that I cannot think clearly, you dangerous, misguided buffoon. Instead, Sirius smiled politely. "I'm quite capable of making a decision, but whatever you think is best. After all, I'm sure you have the Ministry's best interests at heart."

"I do, and I think it's best we postpone this vote until you feel up to it, or you appoint a replacement, temporary of course," Fudge replied, in a sickly sweet voice, as though he was talking to a child. "Maybe things will seem different in a few days."

"Thank you," Sirius replied in a forced politeness.

"Good. We'll hold the meeting at the same time and place next week."

Sirius nodded his farewell. Standing up quickly, he left the room, avoiding eye contact with anyone there. He hadn't accounted for how raw he would feel when confronted with the fact people didn't believe him. He thought he had prepared himself, but evidently he hadn't. Why had Fudge's words cut so deep? He had always thought the man would try to deny all knowledge of Voldemort's return. He knew the man would try to target him, single him out and make him feel alone and vulnerable. He thought he was ready for it, but in the cold light of day, it was evident he wasn't. Was he really cut out to front Moody's campaign? Was he really cut out to lead the Order?

He was just about to step out of the lift when a hand grabbed him, forcing him back in. "Moody!"

"Let's get out of here," Moody growled, hiding the newspaper under his arm.

"What's that?" Sirius said, making a grab for the paper.

"Nothing," Moody replied, side stepping Sirius' hand.

"Bullshit!" Sirius exclaimed. "Look the bastard has already started to try and discredit me, so if he's put something in the Daily Prophet I need to know. I need to know how to react."

Hesitantly, Moody slowly handed the copy of the paper to Sirius. "Don't believe a word of it laddie."

 _Is Sirius Black mad?_

 _Sirius Black, Alastor Moody's right hand man, regularly suffers from nightmares, the Daily Prophet can reveal. A source close to Black reveals_

"I told you don't bloody read that crap," Moody snapped, as he yanked the paper from Sirius' hands and threw it into a nearby fire. "It's bloody Rita Seeker, she's off on you today, tomorrow it will probably be me and the following day some poor sod from International Magical Corporation or something similar."

"I know and I know I'm being stupid," Sirius said as he stepped out into the busy London street. "But-"

"But I'm guessing you are still feeling knackered and in pain, whilst trying to figure out what the hell happened. One of your best friends from school ressurected Voldemort using your own blood, then was murdered in front of you. You yourself barely escaped with your life. Oh, then you find your wand's brother is Voldemort's wand and Olivander thinks you were always destined to be connected to Voldemort. I'm I missing anything? Oh wait, you find out the bastard is immortal and still targeting your godson, therefore he's still targeting your family. So, laddie I think that is a hell of a lot for anyone to take in under a week," Moody summarised. "Have I left anything out?"

"I guess not," Sirius breathed.

"Right, let's get a coffee and get away from the idle gossip in the bloody Ministry," Moody said as he started up the street. "Know anywhere around here?"

"But you only drink from your hip flask!"

"True, nor do I have any muggle money. So I guess you are paying and I'll pretend to have a coffee," Moody said as he led Sirius into a nearby coffee shop. "Oh and you're eating as well. I can't have you passing out in the Ministry, it'll only help to confirm Fudge's strategy."

"Moody, I don't know if I'm the right person for this," Sirius said quietly after they had ordered their coffees.

"Sirius, I know right now you don't think you are. I know you have doubted yourself for a long time, but I also know there is no one more suited for this role than you. You are far more capable than you think. You are far more capable than I am, than Kingsley is, than Potter is, than hell, anyone in the wizarding community. I hate the fact the role has put a target on your back-"

"I've had a target on my back since I was sixteen," Sirius cut in.

"I know, and no kid should ever had to of gone through what you did," Moody said sadly. "But what would have broken most people, only made you stronger. Fuck," Moody suddenly exclaimed, and ran a hand through his thinning hair. "There's me giving a speech saying basically the whole wizarding community is dependant on you, when you are saying you're not sure. If you want to go Sirius, Merlin, no one would blame you. You know I would support you."

Sirius shook his head. "I know I need to do it, I'm just a little, I don't know."

"Rattled?" Moody offered, as they thanked the waitress for their coffees and Sirius' cake. "Oh course you bloody are, it's a hell of an ask of anyone. But I truly believe you can do it. It's going to get worse before it gets better with Fudge, you know that. But stay close to your friends, they'll support you, they'll be your rock. You might need to keep your mother away from Fudge though, she laid into Crouch pretty hard last time."

"I'll do my best," Sirius replied with a slight smile as he began to tuck into his cake.

"But then again a couple of bats as ears wouldn't really harm that much, and it'll give the rest of us a laugh," Moody replied grinning as he pushed the espresso cup around the table.

"I guess not. So, have you got anywhere on destroying the Horcruxes yet?" Sirius asked earnestly.

"No," Moody said shaking his head. "Have you figured out what they are yet?"

"Other than a locket and items related to Hogwarts, no," Sirius replied, taking a careful sip of his coffee. He looked up and idly watched the muggles go about their business without a care in the world. "Remus is researching Riddle's history, maybe we'll find something there. James is looking into Hogwarts' artefacts."

"Good," Moody said, resting his hand on Sirius' shoulder. "Use your friends, they are smart and they'll spread the load. They just want to help you."

"I know, I just don't want to get them hurt."

"I know you don't, but they'll get involved whether you like it or not. They are not going to stand by and watch you destroy yourself."

"That's what James said," Sirius said quietly.

"I'm glad he still has a few brain cells left in his head," Moody said with a broad grin, watching Sirius drain the remaining coffee. "Shall we get out of here?" He watched the younger man nod and slip some money onto the table before heading to the door. "And remember laddie, don't listen to a word that buffoon says, okay! If you do, I'll bloody have to give you lines or something."

"Yes, sir," Sirius mocked as they headed towards the Ministry.


	20. Chapter 20

As always, a huge thanks has to go to Ambush99 for betaing this chapter!

 **Chapter 20**

"Mate, are you alright?"

"What?" Sirius asked, looking up.

"James asked if you were alright?" Remus said, watching his friend with concern.

"Yeah, sorry I was thinking," Sirius replied, adding a smile for good measure.

"About what?" James pushed.

"The locket Reg mentioned," Sirius lied.

"Bullshit," James swore. "Padfoot, I've known you for twenty-four years and I know when you are lying."

"You didn't see me for thirteen of those," Sirius said quietly.

"Yup, you are right, I didn't, but I still know when you are lying. Mate, tell us, maybe we can help," James pushed.

Sirius looked away. "I-I, you, you can't," he finally managed.

"It's Fudge, isn't it," Remus asked. He watched his friend look down. Taking the silence as confirmation, he continued. "He wanted to push his anti-werewolf policy, you disagreed, and he attacked you. Mate, you shouldn't let him attack you like that!"

"And what? Let him introduce his barbaric segregation policy?! Let him round you up, chuck you in a cell and throw away the key?! No fucking way, you've done nothing wrong. It's fucking barbaric that's what it is. If I've got to take a couple of hits from that buffoon, then so be it. Where's it going to stop? Muggle-borns? Goblins? Who else?" Sirius yelled, as he stood up suddenly, causing the chair to fall heavily on the floor.

"Mate, the Goblins will be fine, they'll just deny Fudge access to his vault. He'll repeal the act within the day," Remus said calmly.

"Merlin, he's as bad as Voldemort," James observed, as he leant back on his chair, eyeing his friend carefully.

"I wouldn't go that far," Sirius replied quietly, as he stopped pacing for a moment.

"His pretext isn't the same, but the endgame will be the same!" James replied tensely.

"He's not an evil person, just scared," Sirius countered.

"And that makes it okay to lock Moony away and take chunks out of you?! Because it doesn't, I don't give a fuck what excuse he hides behind. He might not be evil, but he sure the hell is acting like it!"

"Of course I don't think it's okay to lock Moony up, why the hell do you think I fought him?"

"And you?"

"It's a game of chess James, I-"

"If it's a game of chess, then stop acting like a bloody pawn!"

"I'm not going to allow anyone to be a pawn on my account!" Sirius snapped.

"And neither can you be all the pieces on the board. I know you don't want anyone in harm's way, but we are going to be at war soon. People, innocent people, innocent children will be in harm's way. Surely it's better if we select who those people are. We can have people who are trained, who are in possession of the full facts," James said calmly.

"This is why I will be a terrible leader of the Order, I just cannot put people in harm's way. I don't want anyone to go through what I went through. Being held in that prison with Voldemort and his death eaters. No James, I cannot let anyone go through that," Sirius said as he leant against the wall.

"This why you will be a great leader, you have a conscience," James said softly, shooting a glance at Remus. "You put yourself at risk every time you go to work, so does everyone else in your department. Tell me mate, how will that be any different from working with the Order?"

"It's just different!"

"How? We joined last time, how is this any different?"

"Last time we were eighteen and knew fuck all!"

"You're probably right, but you haven't answered my question. How is the Order different from your work, aside from the fact you get paid?" James challenged.

"I-I,"

"You don't have an answer, do you? Don't give me some crap about not knowing the risks. There are good, talented witches and wizards up and down the country who are willing to stand beside you and fight Voldemort. They know the risks," James continued, as he faced his best friend.

"No, they don't," Sirius said in a near whisper. "They don't know what it's like to be tortured by that bastard as though you were a toy. They don't know what it's like to have new spells experimented on you as though you were a lab rat. They don't know..." He stopped, unable to continue.

"Padfoot," James said gently, as he placed his hands on his friend's shoulders. "Okay, we don't know."

"They don't know what it's like to be starved; going for days without food, sometimes water as well. Do you know what it's like to treat each sound as a threat, but at the same time wishing for it, as it might finally end it all? To know what it's like to be so alone for days on end, where the only sound you can hear is your own ragged breath; to know what it's like to wonder how long it would take the human body to starve to death? They don't know what it's like to be so alone, so abandoned that you begin to forget what the human voice sounds like," Sirius said in a choked sob.

"Oh Padfoot," James whispered, pulling his friend into a fierce hug. "Mate, it's going to be alright. We are going to fight Voldemort and we are going to win. It's not going to be like last time." he said, allowing his friend to gently sob into his shoulder. He was suddenly painfully aware that Sirius had never spoken about what had happened to him. At first, he claimed he could not remember, then he said it was too painful, after that Sirius was back at work and they never really mentioned it. The realisation he'd never actually been there for his friend hit him like a ton of bricks.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said, pulling back and wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.

"Oh no you don't!" James said, as he embraced his friend again. "I know what you are thinking. You think this is a sign of weakness and Fudge is right. Well, Fudge is a weak, bullying fuckwit. He wouldn't have survived a day of what you went through."

"I think you are giving the idiot more credit than he deserves. He would not have made it that far, he wouldn't have survived Sirius' first encounter with Voldemort when he was sixteen. But let's assume for a moment that that didn't happen, I doubt he would have survived the first hour," Remus said, cutting in for the first time.

"I was just lucky that's all," Sirius said as he hastily wiped his eyes with the back of his hand.

"If that's what you want to call it," Remus said with a raised eyebrow. "Mate, what do you want to do? Fuck everyone else; what do you want to do?"

"Build a time machine," Sirius said dryly.

Remus threw his head back and laughed. "I think we'd all want one of those. What didn't you like about the Order last time?"

"I didn't like Dumbledore's and other senior members' cloak and dagger style. I didn't like the fact we were sent out on missions without being armed with the full facts. I mean, they trusted us enough to be in the Order, why didn't they trust us enough with the full information?"

Remus nodded. "Fair enough. What would you do differently?"

Sirius flopped down on the chair next to his two friends and exhaled slowly. "What would I do differently? I, well I wouldn't let anyone under the age of twenty out on missions. I know we thought we knew everything, but we didn't. I had the advantage of being an auror, but you guys weren't, nor was anyone we graduated from Hogwarts with. We incurred too many losses through lack of experience and training. I had to train you guys in combat, that's not right, it should never have happened. That's why I ensured that everyone had been trained in combat, it was fucking crazy sending a bunch of untrained witches and wizards to war without the necessary training. I would, I would fully brief people, so they could decide if it was too risky, and so they could back out if they wanted to. I would never send parents on the same mission, or different missions at the same time. It's bad enough for a child to lose one parent, but to become an orphan due to piss poor planning is unforgivable."

"Sirius, I think you have answered your doubts and questions. You are, without doubt, the best person to lead the Order. We will incur losses, that's unavoidable, but with you I truly believe it will be minimal. You are smart, I don't doubt you are developing numerous strategies, and you care. And you are not alone anymore. We'll help you."

"I don't want to-"

"Put us at risk?" Remus threw his head back and laughed again. "Mate, I'm a werewolf, I've had a target on my back since I was five. James and Lily have had targets on their backs since that deranged psychopath decided their unborn child was his equal. Moody has a target on his back because, well, because of who he is. Anyone you recruit will already have a target on their backs because they are muggle-born, or a blood traitor or something, but most of all because they disagree with him and are prepared to fight. Will joining the Order move them up the sadistic bastard's list? Sure, probably, I don't know. But surely you should allow them to make that decision, rather than make the decision for them?"

"Remus is right. I want to fight because it is the right thing to do. Last time I had this misguided, childish even, delusion that it would be, I don't know, somehow glamorous. But then there was the reality. I, we all went to too many funerals. There's nothing glamorous about it at all, and I go into this war with my eyes wide open. I don't want to go to war, but I have to. We cannot let Voldemort win. Plus, the bastard is still hunting my son," James growled.

"I think we have established that James and I have joined the Order. So, what will the Order's first meeting be about?"

Sirius ran a slightly shaky hand through his hair. He looked between his greatest friends. He didn't want to put them in harm's way, but he knew they were right. Whatever he did or did not do, they would be in danger regardless; not because of his actions but because of who they were. He knew he could not protect everyone, it was a ridiculous notion, but a notion he couldn't quite let go of yet. "Well," he said slowly, "I guess we could discuss what you guys have found out."

"Do you want me to start?" Remus asked, looking at James. Watching his friend nod, he started. "Tom Marvolo Riddle was born in Wool's Orphanage, London on the 31st December 1926. His father, his namesake, was an affluent muggle from the village of Little Hangleton. His mother, Merope Gaunt, was a witch who lived in the village. There's no account of her ever attending Hogwarts and, given her family's living circumstances, it is highly unlikely she attended a magical school abroad. There are many rumours surrounding their marriage, many suggest she used a love potion. Anyway, about a year later Tom Riddle Senior returned without his wife. Nothing is heard from Merope until she turns up at Wool's half alive. She gives birth that night and dies shortly afterwards."

"God, that's tragic," Sirius muttered.

"I know," Remus continued. "While Voldemort stayed at the orphanage, several odd events occurred."

"Typical of a young, untrained wizard, right? It's not as if we can control it," Sirius cut in.

"Sure, like growing your hair longer because of some hideous haircut your parents gave you. Or making your vegetables disappear because you didn't like them, pure innocent children stuff. No, from what I can ascertain this was far more, it was evil and left several of the children at the orphanage traumatised," Remus said, shaking his head. "Dumbledore delivered his Hogwarts letter."

Sirius nodded. It was standard procedure for children of muggle parents to have the news delivered personally. After all, most would no doubt throw the letter in the bin, thinking it was some form of joke. "Do you think Dumbledore knew?"

"Knew he'd just met the evillest wizard of all time, or later knew that child was Voldemort?"

"The latter."

"I hope not, otherwise you have to question why he didn't disclose it. It would have helped us so much in the first war, and you have to question if there would even be a second war," Remus said earnestly, as he ran a hand through his greying hair. "Anyway, he went to Hogwarts and was sorted into…" He drummed his fingers on the table for dramatic affect.

"Slytherin?"

"Ten points to James Potter of Gryffindor!" Remus said grinning. "He was a model student: top grades, prefect, head boy etc etc. He spent all of his holidays at Hogwarts apart from the summers when he was forced back to the orphanage. The only two events that stuck out were the death of his grandparents and father, which had the classic signs of the killing curse, and when he was awarded 'Special Services to the School'. Both events took place in 1943."

"Do you know what for?" James asked.

"No," Remus said, shaking his head.

"Well it was during the middle of World War Two, but I doubt that's anything to do with it. Voldemort would have hardly aligned himself with the Allied Forces, he probably idolised Hitler. I am pretty sure that's what he's basing his 'purer race' policy on," Sirius acknowledged.

"So, the muggles had their 'Voldemort' has well?" James asked.

Sirius nodded. "And it's happening right now in the Balkans. The muggle media are calling it ethnic cleansing, which is basically what Voldemort did in the first war and wants to continue in the second."

"Can't we send them to wipe each other out?"

"That would be ideal but sadly, I don't think we would get away with it," Sirius said with a sad smile. "Did you find anything else out?"

"After school his time is pretty unremarkable and undocumented. He was offered numerous jobs at the Ministry but took none. He eventually got a job at Borgin and Burkes."

"Borgin and Burkes?" Sirius said frowning. "Where do I know that name?"

"It's that dodgy shop on Knockturn Alley, you and I went in there when we were about thirteen."

"And your mum went mental," Sirius said remembering.

"Yeah, she did."

"Why some dodgy shop?" Remus asked.

"It makes perfect sense!" James exclaimed. He watched his two friends look confused. "It is full of dark art artefacts; it would be like a gold mine to him. The locket your brother mentioned also makes sense. I bet you anything it's Slytherin's locket. Which means, shit, I reckon he's made horcruxes from the other houses' heirlooms. Ravenclaw's diadem, Hufflepuff's cup and Gryffindor's sword, but," James stopped for a moment. "I don't know, something tells me the sword isn't a horcrux."

"I agree," Remus said nodding.

"So, we have at least three horcruxes," Sirius said determinedly. "But," he sighed and raked his hands through his increasingly dishevelled hair. "I think he created more, because-"

"Because he's fucking Voldemort and he's a psychopath who's in love with himself. I guarantee you he's created more because he's, well, fucking Voldemort. He wants the world to be pure blood, yet he's half blood," James exclaimed.

"It didn't stop Hitler. He wanted a race of blonde, blue eyed, yet he was a dark haired blue-grey eyed freak," Sirius countered. "I agree, I think he's created way more than three horcruxes, I think he's created six, I don't know why but I just think he has."

"You'll probably find it's the maximum times you can split a soul, even one as wretched as his," Remus added, shaking his head. "Any clue to the other three?"

"No, but I think his bloody pet snake has something to do with it."

"He has a pet snake?" James asked, watching his friend nod. "Figures, with his obsession with Slytherin. Can you create living horcruxes?"

Sirius shrugged. "No idea mate. Moody and I are looking into destroying them. Strangely there's not a lot of information on that, but I guess I'll add 'living horcruxes' to my research list. Anyway, why the name 'Lord Voldemort'?"

"Because he's an arrogant prick?"

"It's an anagram of his name," Remus said. "I am Lord Voldemort."

"I guess he had to do something with the 'I, A and M," Sirius said with a shrug.

"It would have been so much better if the anagram was 'A Molder Lord Vomit' or 'A Overlord Mild Tom'," James said with a grin.

Sirius laughed. "Mate, they don't even make sense!"

"I know, but he'll forever be known to me as 'Lord Vomit'," James said, continuing to grin.

"You're such a bloody child!" Sirius said, punching his friend's arm. "Moony, can you look into the Gaunt family? I know they are one of the Sacred Twenty-eight."

"How the hell do you know that shit?" James exclaimed.

"I'm a Black remember, pure-blood mania and the rest of that crap. Being their Heir I had to learn about it when I was about five. Naturally, I've forgotten all about it."

"Of course mate, but tonight I've got...," Remus started hesitantly.

"I know," Sirius started with a sly grin. "Yes, a hot date."

"What?" James yelled, almost dropping his coffee. "How does he know?!"

"Because I know the girl," Sirius said with raised eyebrows.

"Sirius, if you..., well-"

"What?! Oh for fuck's sake Moony, I couldn't be happier for you. But if you break her heart I will have to punch you, just so you know."

"Seriously guys, who is the girl!" James said impatiently.

"Nymphadora Tonks," Remus said quietly.

"Sirius' cousin?"

"Mate, do yourself a favour. Don't call her Nymphadora, she hates it. She's also got a wicked upper cut," Sirius advised.

"So, how does that work with the Black family?" James joked.

"Her mother, Andromeda, my favourite cousin, was disowned about the same time I started Hogwarts. She married a muggle-born called Ted. Obviously, as a Black this was an unspeakable act. But that's the past. As the current Head of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, I think it's great. Might actually bring some decent blood into the family," Sirius said grinning. "Have a great time mate, and good luck!"

"Thanks," Remus said quietly, as he walked towards the door.

"Yeah, good luck Moony," James said to his friend's back. "How the hell did you find out?"

"She's family and I work with her."

"Fair enough," James said as he cleared his and Sirius' empty mugs. "I guess we better get back to work."

"I guess so," Sirius replied, as he stood, throwing on his jacket.

"Are you meeting with Moody?"

"Probably, he is my boss."

"Sirius," James said seriously. "You know you don't need to pretend to be okay."

"Really?" Sirius said with raised eyebrows. "Are you sure about that?"

"Okay, fine I take your point, but you don't need to pretend with us."

"Thanks James," Sirius said, patting his friend's shoulder. "Shall we? I have a little bit of Fudge baiting to do."

"Sirius?"

"I'm kidding mate, I don't want anything to do with the bastard. Unfortunately I have to deal with him. But such is life. I will just distance myself from him as much as possible."

"Mate, come over for supper tonight. It's the first day of the holidays and I know Harry will want to see you. Plus we can discuss Moony's 'hot date'," James said grinning.

"Oh, piss off Prongs, leave him be. But thanks, I'd love to. Shall I swing by your office?" Sirius replied.

"See you at six then," James said as they parted ways.


	21. Chapter 21

As always a huge thank you has to go to Ambush99 for her continued support and amazing betaing skills!

 **Chapter 21**

"Good evening Sirius. To what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" Arthur said, as he opened the door.

"Good evening Arthur, I was wondering if I could trouble you this evening. I would like to discuss something with you," Sirius said slowly, as he tried to gauge Arthur's reaction. He wondered if Arthur fell into the category of those who believed he was a crazy, attention seeking fool.

"Oh? Well, you better come in then," Arthur said, standing aside, letting the other man in.

"It's of a sensitive nature, something I do not feel comfortable discussing at the Ministry," Sirius said quietly.

"Of course," Arthur said, standing a little straighter. "You will have to excuse the mess, we have a full house. The boys and Ginny are back from school, Charlie is over from Romania, plus Bill is over as well."

"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise I was intruding on a special occasion. This can wait," Sirius said, as he looked towards the door.

"No, no, it's fine," Arthur replied with a smile. "It's just with everything that happened a couple of weeks ago, we wanted to be together as a family, and this is our first opportunity."

"Arthur, this can wait. This is obviously a special occasion for your family."

Arthur laughed. "No Sirius, right now this is crazy time in the house. I doubt they'll even notice you are here. Please, come into the kitchen."

Sirius followed Arthur down the narrow corridor, full of boots, coats, brooms and everything else. He smiled, the place felt warm and homely. Like the first time he had walked into James' house.

"Please take a seat," Arthur said, as they wandered into the kitchen. "Do you want tea, something stronger?"

"Tea would be great, thank you."

Placing a steaming mug of tea in front of the other man, Arthur sat down and faced him. "So, what do you want to discuss?"

"Well, you know when I was asking for your advice," Sirius started slowly.

"Yes."

"Well I was, shit, I don't know how to say this."

"You were gauging my reaction. You wanted to fight you-know-who and didn't trust the Ministry," Arthur said calmly, as he carefully watched Sirius. "And you were proven right. I knew he was deluded, but I didn't think he was this bad!"

"Arthur, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to mislead you in any way; I just needed to know if, well, I don't know. I was away for such a long time, I didn't know who the players in the Ministry were or anything," Sirius said, as he took a sip of tea.

"What do you mean?"

"I needed to find out who was friend and who was foe, and I am sorry I did it in this clandestine way, I really am. I just needed to-"

"Do you think we can beat him?" Arthur asked.

"I don't know," Sirius said, running a hand through his hair. "It's, well, complicated."

"You don't trust a lot of people do you?" Arthur said simply, as he looked Sirius up and down.

Sirius closed his eyes and exhaled slowly. This was putting him on the spot. Give him a death eater trying to kill him, he could deal with that. But this? What did he need to do? What did he need to say? What did, what did James say he should do? Just be honest, that's what. "No, I don't," he said simply.

"I don't blame you. I doubt I would if I was you," Arthur replied. "You're too hard on yourself."

"What?"

"You are too hard on yourself," Arthur repeated.

"Perhaps, but these aren't decisions I take lightly," Sirius said simply. He stared into the tea mug, as though looking for inspiration. No tea leaves, he thought dryly. "Did you ever hear about a counter Vold-, you-know-who, organisation during the last war?"

"I heard rumours."

Sirius nodded. "The rumours were true. Dumbledore formed the Order of the Phoenix in-". He paused for a moment as he struggled to remember the date. "I think it was in 1974, I was halfway through Hogwarts. It was created to try and counter you-know-who's ascent to power. I was told it was disbanded shortly after his disappearance."

"And Dumbledore wants to reform it?"

"Not Dumbledore."

Arthur nodded slowly, Sirius' words confirming what he'd been thinking. "You don't think the Ministry is capable of handling the situation."

Sirius looked away for a moment. "Do you?" He watched Arthur shake his head. "You've worked at the Ministry for what, twenty-five years?"

"Twenty-six this August."

"Impressive," Sirius acknowledged. "Do you get a watch or something?"

"I got an extra day's holiday. If I make it to forty years, I think I get an additional day," Arthur said with a sly grin.

"Indeed, so very generous of them," Sirius joked. He paused for a moment, trying to gauge the situation before posing his next question. "Do you think the Ministry in its current state is capable of defeating you-know-who?"

Arthur exhaled slowly. It was good to finally talk about the Ministry's failings with someone as intelligent and as balanced as Sirius. He had spoken about it with Molly, but as intelligent and balanced as she was, she didn't work for them, so didn't have the inside understanding. He wondered if he was influencing her opinion. "There is no simple answer, but no. I think there are a lot of good, capable people who work there, but the leadership leaves a lot to be desired."

Sirius nodded. "How badly do you think their minds have been twisted by Fudge?"

Arthur sighed. "I think the rot started before Fudge's reign, but he did nothing to quash it. I do, however, think we can recruit people to our side. Are you suggesting we perform a err…"

"No, absolutely not! Performing a coup d'état will massively destabilise the Ministry."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to suggest…"

"No, don't worry about it. When Moody first suggested it, I thought the same. I guess it doesn't help matters with the cloak and dagger way I'm going about it."

Arthur laughed a hollow laugh. "The current climate doesn't help. When our leadership, unelected might I add, refuses to believe you-know-who is back, it's hard to not do anything. You're setting up the Order of the Phoenix to work alongside the Ministry, aren't you?"

"Yes, but in secret for now. The hope is, when they finally come around to the fact you-know-who has returned, we'll already have a plan in place."

"Where do I sign up?"

"Arthur, joining the Order is-"

"Dangerous, yes I know, but doing nothing is dangerous as well. Do you honestly think he won't target my family?! I know he will, we are known as one of the biggest blood traitors around," Arthur countered passionately.

"But-"

"If I believed what Fudge was spewing out of his uneducated mouth, you and I wouldn't be having this discussion. The fact is I've doubted his ability for a while now, but it took someone like you to wake me up to the fact. There are a lot of people who think the same."

"Whilst that might be true, I still urge you to discuss this with Molly," Sirius urged.

"I will. You know she is highly skilled in charms. She was the best in the school when we were there," Arthur said fondly.

"I did not know that. I mean, I never questioned her intelligence in any shape or form, I just did not know she had quite the flare for charms," Sirius said respectfully.

"Should I..." Arthur started and then stopped, as he watched his youngest son wander into the kitchen.

"Dad, when's dinner?" Ron said as he stuck his tall, lanky frame into the larder.

"Your mother is just sorting something in the garden, it won't be long. Doesn't Hogwarts feed you?" Arthur said lightly.

"Yeah, but that was ages ago. I'm so hungry!" Ron whined as he stepped out of the larder. "Oh, hi Sirius!" he said, noticing the other man for the first time.

"Hi Ron. Good term?"

"Yeah, I mean the exams were so annoying and history of magic, gawd! But those hexes you sent were so cool!" Ron exclaimed.

"They were to help Harry in the third task, not to be used on your classmates or your siblings for that matter," Sirius said lightly, with a slight smile and raised eyebrows.

"No, no, of course not," Ron stammered, suddenly finding his feet fascinating. "I'll go and unpack then."

"You haven't started?" Arthur exclaimed.

"No," Ron whined. "Dad, it's so boring."

"That it might be, but it needs to be done. No flying until you've unpacked!"

Ron sighed heavily as he started to walk towards the door. "Sirius, if you're at Harry's can we play Quidditch? Harry said you used to play for Gryffindor."

"Sure," Sirius replied, half smiling as he watched the interaction between the two.

"That would be so cool!" Ron started, then stopped as he looked at his father. "Okay, I'll go and unpack. Bye, Sirius."

"See you later, Ron," Sirius said to the retreating figure.

"Sorry about that," Arthur apologised. "You know..?"

"Harry's my godson and James is my best friend. I spend a fair amount of time at their house," Sirius explained. He watched Arthur nod. "Do you play Quidditch?"

"Me? No, not for a long time. Back in the day, I used to play keeper," Arthur said as he smiled fondly. "Do you still play?"

"Beater. We had a game a couple of days ago. You should join; it's only in the next door village."

"I don't know, I feel like I would be out of place."

"Why? Because you haven't played since you were at school? In any case, I am sure we can dig out a broom from someone's shed," Sirius persuaded. "I haven't played since school, most of us haven't. James dragged me along, which I'm sure he felt great about the next day. I may have knocked him off his broom; you forget you are stronger than your sixteen-year-old self." Sirius laughed at the memory. "Look it's an escape from the daily grind. It's an escape from the talk of war and you-know-who. For that hour or so, you can pretend you're a kid again, when the worst thing you had to worry about was the two inches of parchment you still needed to complete before the next day's charms lesson."

"Okay," Arthur said smiling. "Sure, I'll give it a go."

"Great, It'll be good to have another person join the group. Anyway," Sirius said as he raked his hands through his hair. "Where were we?"

"Molly, my wife. I know you are reforming the Order but what do you say to new recruits?" Arthur asked nervously.

Sirius sighed. He thought back to what James and Remus had said, and what Moody had told him on countless occasions. He could not do this alone. How it wasn't his decision if people wanted to put themselves at risk. "Arthur, this is something I am massively conflicted about," he said honestly. "But my friends say I cannot make these decisions for people. I think the Order will benefit tremendously from you joining. As to your family..." He sighed, and bit his lip for a moment. "In a perfect world, well, in a perfect world we wouldn't have to do this but here we are, and we have to. I trust your judgement."

Arthur nodded. "I'll talk to her, and I better talk to my oldest two as well. I know they want to fight you-know-who, and this way…"

"You would know what they were doing," Sirius offered.

"Yeah," Arthur said slowly. "I know it wouldn't make them any safer, but at least I'd know where they were. My youngest; Fred, George, Ron and Ginny would like to think they could fight you-know-who, but..." Arthur paused for a moment and ran a hand through his hair. "Well, I don't want them to."

"And I wouldn't accept them. When you were eighteen did you think you knew the world and were invincible? I know I certainly did. Then you grow up and reflect, you realise you really didn't know anything and you were most certainly not invincible," Sirius said reflectively.

"Good. It's just, well the Ministry would-"

"Merlin, the Ministry would probably accept a thirteen-year-old kid to fight their wars," Sirius said bitterly. "It seems as corrupt as it did last time; they've just done a better job of dressing it up."

"Ah Molly," Arthur greeted, as she walked in from the garden. "This is Sirius Black; he's a work colleague and Harry's godfather."

"A pleasure to meet you," Sirius said as he stood and took her hand.

"You too," Molly said with a smile. "Are you staying for dinner?"

"Thank you for the kind offer, but I'm having dinner with my family," Sirius said politely. He looked at his watch. "Talking of which, I really better get going."

"Thank you Sirius, well, for the opportunity," Arthur said rising to meet the other man.

"No, thank you Arthur for considering it," Sirius said shaking Arthur's hand. "Molly, thank you for your kind hospitality."

"Is that Sirius Black?" Fred exclaimed as he watched the tall auror walk out of the house.

"Yeah," Ron said nodding.

"How do you know?" George exclaimed.

"I've met him a few times," Ron said with a shrug. "He's a cool guy."

"I'd say! He's amazing. He's like Moody's right hand man, and he's so cool," Fred said excitedly.

"Yeah, and you might know him by his other name, 'Padfoot'."

"Sirius Black is Padfoot?!" George said awestruck.

"Seriously?! How do you know?" Fred added excitedly. "The Marauders are like gods to us. We owe them so much."

"Well, I've met them. Come to think of it, so have you," Ron baited. He grinned at his brothers' reactions. "Ah, I would love to discuss this further but it appears mum is calling us for dinner, and you know how much she hates it when we are late," he said as he hurried downstairs.

"This is not over!" George growled, as he chased his brother down the stairs into the kitchen.

"Was that Sirius Black leaving?" Bill asked as he started to pour the butterbeer.

"Yes, he just wanted to discuss a couple of things," Arthur said calmly.

"I've meet him a couple of times at Gringotts; smart guy," Bill observed. "The Goblins respect him, well, as much as Goblins will ever respect a wizard."

"I thought Sirius Black was missing and wanted by the Ministry for murder," Charlie said frowning.

"Turns out he was innocent all along. He was kidnapped and imprisoned by you-know-who and his death eaters for thirteen years. He escaped and is now Moody's right hand man," Bill explained.

"Tough guy," Charlie whistled.

"What did he want to discuss?" Bill asked.

Arthur looked at his oldest son and then back at his wife. "This is strictly confidential," he said in a low voice. "I mean that. You cannot discuss this with anyone outside of this room, that includes Percy."

"Of course," Bill replied, shooting a piercing glare at the others.

"During the last war Dumbledore formed an organisation to fight you-know-who," Arthur started in the same low voice.

"Something to do with a Phoenix?" Charlie asked.

Arthur nodded. "The Order of the Phoenix. Dumbledore had concerns about the Ministry's handling of the matter, so he formed the group in secret."

"And Dumbledore has the same concerns this time as well?" Bill asked. He watched his father shake his head. "Sirius?"

"Yes, he and Moody are concerned. They were concerned before Fudge's reaction a couple of weeks ago. They predicted Fudge's reaction and they knew you-know-who would return," Arthur explained.

"Sirius wants you to join?" Bill asked. He watched his father nod again. "Do you trust him?"

"Yes, without a shadow of a doubt. He has no reason to lie about you-know-who's return. We all know Fudge controls the media, and he'll use it to his own ends."

"You think Fudge is smearing Sirius?" Charlie asked.

"Yeah," Arthur replied. "Fudge is threatened by Sirius. Sirius is everything Fudge isn't. This is a man who first faced you-know-know when he was twenty!"

"Sixteen," Ron said through a mouthful of mashed potato.

"What?" Bill asked.

"He was sixteen when he first faced you-know-who. That's why Harry's grandparents adopted him," Ron explained. "His parents tried to sell him to you-know-who."

"How the hell do you know this?" Charlie exclaimed.

"Because I was there when Peter Pettigrew was arrested."

"What?!" Arthur exclaimed. "Why were you there?"

"You know why. Dumbledore told you. I was there because they needed Scabbers!"

"What did Scabbers have to do with it?" Molly asked. "Come to think about it, where is Scabbers?"

"You don't know?! Dumbledore didn't tell you?"

"Tell us what?"

"Scabbers is Peter Pettigrew, he is an animagi. He was nearly Harry's parents' secret keeper. He sold them to you-know-who, he kidnapped Sirius. I want to join the Order. I want to fight you-know-who; I want to fight with Sirius!"

"NO!" Molly yelled. "I will not allow it. You are underage."

"I will not allow it, nor will Sirius."

"Dad," the twins exclaimed. "We are of age."

"And I won't allow you to join either, again neither will he."

"But,"

"We have considerably more experience than you two. The decision is final. Bill, Charlie, that decision is up to you," Arthur said hotly. "Shall we enjoy our meal?"


	22. Chapter 22

As always a huge thanks to Ambush99 for her continued support and her amazing betaing skills.

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, favorited and followed so far. I hope you enjoy the latest instalment.

 **Chapter 22**

Sirius closed his eyes and rubbed his weary face. The office was empty, which wasn't surprising given it had just gone midnight. Between his auror work, reforming the Order and hunting Horcruxes, he didn't have enough hours in the day. Well, that's what his excuse was anyway. It had been well over a year since he had escaped from Voldemort's prison, yet his nightmares showed no signs of subsiding. He barely slept more than a couple of hours a night. He knew it wasn't healthy, probably verging on dangerous, but what could he do? It wasn't helped by the intense headaches which now plagued him. But again, there was not a lot he could do about that. He couldn't very well go to St. Mungo's; Fudge would just use it to further his increasingly intense smear campaign against him. Fudge was using everything in his arsenal to try to discredit him, to destroy him. But he wasn't going to let him. He could not let him.

"What are you still doing here?"

Sirius looked up slowly to see his boss and mentor standing in front of him. "I could ask the same question."

"Don't be smart with me Sirius, I asked first."

"Working."

"At past midnight, when I know for a fact you got in at five. I don't think you need to spend nineteen hours in this place."

"I'm fine Moody," Sirius said, as he slowly shook his head.

"Of course you are," Moody replied absentmindedly. "But you don't need to spend every waking hour here. You need more than four hours sleep." He watched Sirius make a face and look away. "You don't even get four hours sleep! Sirius, you cannot continue to function like this. I know you have never been the greatest of sleepers but Sirius, laddie you need to sleep more than that. You need to see someone about it."

"Like who?" Sirius snapped. "Anything would be reported back to Fudge and he'll use it against me. If he knows I am seeking physiological help, well, shit Moody that will be the end of me."

"Then we will find a way," Moody retorted.

"Moody, please just leave it," Sirius pleaded.

"No, I won't. Look Sirius you have nightmares and you struggle to sleep because you have been through a lot, too many traumas for someone to go through in their lifetime. But you are still here, you are still fighting. I understand why you don't want to seek professional help, but remember what I told you. You didn't let Voldemort destroy you the first time; don't let him destroy you now. And for fuck's sake, don't let some idiot like Fudge destroy you."

"Moody, please you don't understand."

"I probably don't, but why don't you try to make me understand."

"Moody, it's... Well, it's too complicated," Sirius struggled.

"I've got time," Moody said as he leant back in the chair opposite Sirius. "Talk to me."

"Moody, it's late, you've had a long day," Sirius started.

"And you haven't?" Moody retorted. "As I said, I've got time."

"Moody-"

"Fine, I'm heading home and you are coming with me," Moody said. He watched Sirius start to protest. "No Sirius, I am not arguing about this. You are leaving this office now. Either you come back with me, or I'll personally escort you back to your place."

"Moody, it's fine. I've just got a bit more to do here, and then I'll head home, I promise," Sirius said nodding, adding a smile for good measure.

"Bullshit!" Moody swore. "You are going to be here until about three or four in the morning. You'll head home, maybe get a couple of hours sleep before heading back here in a change of clothes."

"I just have a couple of things I need to do before I head home," Sirius replied politely, his attention returning to the book in front of him.

"The Complete Book of Military Science," Moody said as he removed the book from Sirius' gaze. "What is so important about this book?"

"The Pincer attack."

"Come again?"

"I've noticed the death eaters tend to attack in a column formation. A pretty archaic strategy but given their large numbers it seems to work for them. In any case Voldemort wouldn't care if it resulted in large numbers of deaths, just as long as they took out as many of us as possible," Sirius explained, as he tried to grab the book back from Moody.

"Sirius, these are all fantastic ideas but you need to be alive to deliver them," Moody replied, pulling the book out of Sirius' reach.

"Moody, I'm not as crazy as Fudge says I am. I'm not about to commit suicide," Sirius said quietly.

"What?" Moody said frowning. "No Sirius, I know you aren't. I am just saying you need to sleep, you cannot continue to do everything and operate on a couple of hours sleep. Now, get up and walk with me."

Knowing he was fighting a losing battle, he reluctantly stood and followed Moody. If the truth be told he was exhausted, but the thought of returning to Grimmauld Place filled him with utter gloom. Between the memories and his mother's portrait's constant abuse, along with a host of other things, he couldn't think of a place he'd least want to be. He couldn't remember when the place had ceased to be a home. More to the point he couldn't remember when the place had actually been a home to him. To his parents he was their heir, an asset. Something that could be traded for as status. But he never conformed to his parents ideals. He had always questioned them. Those questions had never met with answers, just hard words, then curses before aged eleven, and then his parents had finally moved up to the unforgivables. Hogwarts had once been his escape, now it was his work. Doing anything he could to prevent his parents' ideals from passing into law. No one he knew would go untouched if they passed into law.

"Sirius?"

He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, as Moody's voice pulled him from them. "Yeah," he managed.

"Am I going to have to side-along apparate you, or can you do it by yourself?"

"What?! I'm not that fucking past it," Sirius snapped.

"Good, glad to hear it. Remember you are apparating to my place," Moody reminded.

"Do I have a choice?"

"No."

Sirius sighed. He'd been to Moody's house a couple of times when he was an auror the first time around. He knew Moody said he'd never left the aurors, and technically that was correct. He hadn't been fired or resigned, but it had been his own stupid fault he had been kidnapped. He hadn't been on an assigned auror mission, he had gone with the misguided notion he could turn a friend back from the ways of the dark side. Or had he gone out there for revenge? He shook his head again, and once again tried to clear his thoughts. It wasn't that he didn't appreciate Moody's gesture, he just felt embarrassed. He was thirty-five; he should be able to take care of himself without his boss having to step in. He knew in future he would need to find another place to work into the wee hours, now Moody had a watchful eye on him. In addition to that, if Moody did, who else did? Did Fudge? Was it something else he would later use against him? Stepping onto the apparation point, he thought of Moody's house, knowing any attempt to apparate anywhere else would be fruitless. Feeling the familiar sensation of being sucked through a thin tube, he forced himself to concentrate. After all he didn't want a splinching to add to his woes.

"I'll see what there is to eat," Moody said as he led Sirius towards his house.

Sirius nodded. He took a moment to observe his surroundings. The house was pretty much as he remembered it. A small but comfortable cottage on the edge of a village and, from what he could see in the moonlight, a beautiful and well-loved garden at the front. He guessed that was..., he frowned as he tried to remember Mrs. Moody's first name, Jean wasn't it? He guessed it was Jean's love; he didn't really envision Moody pottering around the garden pulling weeds and pruning rose bushes on his days off.

"Sirius? Are you coming? It's bloody cold, and I'm not going to wait around for you to freeze to death," Moody called from the doorway.

"Yeah, sorry," Sirius said as he shoved his hands in his pockets and wandered towards the door.

"I think Jean made some cottage pie, with luck there will be some left," Moody said, closing the door behind him.

"Moody, you really don't have to," Sirius said, dropping his voice to a whisper.

"Nonsense, there's good food that needs eating. It'll only go to waste otherwise. In any case, you look like you badly need a decent home cooked meal. None of that canteen crap or whatever muggles are passing off as snacks these days," Moody said with a smile as he wandered into the farmhouse style kitchen. He grinned as he watched Sirius duck slightly to allow his tall frame through the doorway. "I remember when you first came here; you smashed your head against the frame."

Sirius couldn't help but chuckle. "It's not my fault your house was built for hobbits."

"What?"

"Oh don't worry; it's a book I'm reading. Look Moody I really appreciate all of this, but I don't want to intrude on anything."

"Don't be stupid Sirius; it's good to have a chat outside of the office, whatever the time. Beer?" Moody asked going into the fridge.

"Sure."

"I'm taking a leaf out of your book and branching into muggle beers. Is a Tribute okay with you?" Moody said, as he handed over the cool bottle.

"You drink muggle drinks?!"

"I've obviously checked them for poisons etc., but yes I do."

"Well, obviously," Sirius replied with a grin.

"Piss off!" Moody laughed. "Now where did she put that pie?"

"Moody-"

"Sirius, seriously-" He stopped and shot a glare at Sirius as he watched the other man laugh. "Really, how old are you? Sirius, make yourself at home. I'm not your boss right now."

"What are you?"

"Your friend."

Sirius nodded slowly. "Sure, what do you need to know?"

"I don't need to know anything," Moody said frowning. "Not if you don't want to tell me. No Sirius, just relax and enjoy yourself."

"I'm sorry Moody, it's just with everything that's going on, I don't know." Sirius sighed. "I don't know Moody, I thought, well I don't know what. I thought, well I thought if I re-joined the aurors I could, well I don't know." He stopped and ran a hand through his hair. "I knew Fudge probably wouldn't believe me, Merlin, you and I suggested it. I knew Fudge would do everything in his power to discredit me, but-"

"But in the cold light of day, it's a hell of a lot harder that just talk. Look Sirius, I believe you, everyone in the department believes you and a hell of a lot of other people believe you."

"But for how long? How long before Fudge's campaign bears some fruit?!"

"Anyone with any sense believes you."

Moody and Sirius looked up to see Jean Moody standing in the doorway. She was short, no more than 5', slim built with a good natured face. Yet, you knew from looking at her, she wasn't one to be messed with.

"Mrs. Moody, I'm sorry, we didn't mean to wake you. My name is-"

"Sirius Black, yes I know. I don't need to look at the Daily Prophet to know who you are, I remember you from when you used to visit. I think you were eighteen when you first came here. How are you Sirius?" Jean said kindly.

"Mrs. Moody, I-"

"Now Sirius, remember it's Jean."

"Sorry, I, thank you so much for your hospitality Jean and I'm really sorry if we woke you," Sirius started.

"Oh no, I was reading. Now, let me sort my husband out before he breaks the fridge or something," Jean said smiling.

"Sirius' water pipe in his house broke," Moody lied, saving the younger man the embarrassment. "I thought I'd save him from sleeping under his desk or getting some terrible room at the Leaky Cauldron."

"Oh! Of course, you are always welcome here, Sirius," Jean said as she took the cottage pie from the fridge. Poking it with her wand, it was soon steaming hot.

Not realising how hungry he actually was, Sirius soon found himself wolfing down the food in front of him, finishing the plate without pausing. "That was fantastic, thank you Jean."

"Do you want any more?"

"No thank you, as I said that was fantastic," Sirius said as he found himself yawning.

"The guest room is the second room on the left," Moody said, as he finished off his plate.

"Alastor!" Jean exclaimed. "Have the decency to show him to the guest room!"

"Fine. Follow me laddie," Moody barked.

* * *

He woke with sun streaming through the gap in the curtains. He groggily looked at his watch. 'Fuck' he thought as the display read '08:32'. Sitting up quickly, he blinked his eyes several times as he tried to clear his vision. Not only was he late, he'd overslept in his boss' guest bedroom. He wondered why Moody had done what he had. Why hadn't he just exchanged niceties, before heading home? Why had he insisted on taking him? Did he think he was as fragile as Fudge thought he was? Not having grown up with parental concern or affection, the notion still confused him at times. He could remember first going to James' house and not understanding why his parents hugged him, having never really received affection before. His parents had seen him as a commodity, and later, as his disdain for their views grew, so did their disdain for him. When they realised he was never going to conform to their ideals, they had tried to kill him. That's when he had fled, cutting all ties with his family forever.

Quickly throwing on his clothes he headed downstairs, the smell of bacon drawing him towards the kitchen. "Good morning," he said politely.

"Good morning," Jean greeted. "What do you want for breakfast?"

"Oh I couldn't, I'm running late and you've already done too much for me," Sirius repeated, shifting uncomfortably on the spot.

"What? Fed you leftovers and let you sleep in the guest bedroom? I hardly call that a lot," Jean countered with a pointed look. "You can't tell me you don't have time for a bacon buttie!"

"Well," Sirius said, trailing off as the smell of frying bacon began to become irresistible. "Well, if you insist. That would be wonderful, thank you."

"Of course," Jean said as she started cutting a roll.

"What time did Alastor leave?"

"Just after seven," Jean said as she started to stuff several rashers of bacon into the roll. "Do you want any sauce?"

"Red would be great," Sirius said hesitantly.

"Oh Alastor told me to let you sleep," Jean said with a smile, as she handed the roll wrapped in foil to Sirius. "Between your work, the Order and whatever else you and Alastor are doing, I doubt you have enough hours in the day."

"It's not too bad," Sirius said, taking the bacon buttie. "Some days are longer than others, but isn't that the case for everyone? Well, thank you for this and last night."

"Not at all, it was pleasure."

"Well thank you," Sirius said awkwardly. "Goodbye."

"Goodbye Sirius."

Sirius nodded and headed out of the house before apparating to Whitehall, just outside the Ministry. Stuffing his hands in his pockets he walked quickly through the atrium. It was far busier than he was accustomed to, but he supposed, given the hour, that would always be the case.

"Did you get your water leak fixed?"

"Oh morning, Kingsley," Sirius said as he spun around. "Yeah, I did thanks. Did you have a good evening?"

"Yeah, once I finally left this place. What time did you end up leaving?"

"Oh, not long after you," Sirius lied, knowing full well Kingsley left at around nine. "Much happened this morning?"

"Not a lot. Moody headed out first thing with Tonks and Barrett. There was an incident in Suffolk," Kingsley explained as they stepped out of the lift and into the department.

"Where?"

"Suffolk, it's a county about seventy miles northeast of London."

"Mate, I know where bloody Suffolk is," Sirius laughed.

"Of course," Kingsley said laughing. "Mildenhall, it's a small town near Bury St Edmunds."

"Anything serious?"

"I doubt it, or he would have taken you."

"Yeah, of course. Plus Tonks and Barrett are more than capable of defending themselves," Sirius replied, nodding. No, he thought, serious or not he didn't take me because he thought I was a sleep deprived idiot who was going to end up dead and he needed to take me home. "Well, I guess I better get on with this work business and make up for lost time."

"Mate, give yourself a break. You had a water leak, and in any case it's not as if you don't put in the hours."

Sirius shrugged. "Routine mate, it just feels odd starting so late."

"Fudge, would call this early."

"He's the Minister, he can get away with it," Sirius said as he picked up the latest report from his desk.

"I'll leave you to it."

"Yeah," Sirius said distractedly. "I'm sorry Kingsley. Just these new bloody reports of Fudge's. I swear he just wants us office bound."

"I think that's his intention. I think he doesn't believe in death eaters."

"Yeah, of course there's no such thing as evil or bad people in Fudge's fantasy world of foul, lime green bowler hats and duck houses," Sirius muttered darkly.

Kingsley laughed. "That, my friend, is so true. Anyway, I'm going to sit and swear at these reports, whilst trying not to shred them. Do you want to grab lunch later?"

"When you see a bonfire on my desk, come grab me for lunch."

"So, five minutes then?"

Sirius laughed. Come on, I'll last at least ten minutes," he said as he watched Kingsley walk away.

Sirius massaged his temples and blinked his eyes. These bloody reports were going to be the death of him. He could feel the beginning of a headache coming on. It wasn't one of the piercing ones he had started to experience, just a dull throb. A headache associated with staring at mind numbing reports for hours on end. He glanced at his watch, '12:27', the display read. He frowned and quickly walked over to Kingsley's desk. "Mate, what time did Moody head off?"

"Just after eight."

"Shouldn't they be back by now?"

Kingsley looked down at his watch. "Yeah, Moody said it was routine. He doubted it would take more than a couple of hours."

"They were headed to Mildenhall right?"

"Yes. What are you thinking?"

"I don't know, I just have a bad feeling."

"Want to check it out?"

Sirius nodded as he headed towards the door, not breaking his stride as he grabbed his jacket. "What did Moody say about the incident?"

"Not a lot, just there had been a minor disturbance and there was possible evidence of death eaters," Kingsley said as he hurried out of the office, putting on his jacket as he went. "Sirius, what are you thinking?"

"I don't know, I just have a bad feeling about this," Sirius said in a clipped tone as they arrived at the apparation point. "I could be completely wrong and it's probably nothing."

"But you can't shake the feeling? Regardless of that, they should've been back by now."

Then was a sudden whooshing sound and two figures fell into the room. It took Sirius a moment to recover and recognise the figures. Barrett looked beaten and was unconscious. Before he could assess any further a figure threw themselves at him, burying their head into his shoulder. "Tonks," he whispered. "What happened, are you okay?" He looked pointly at Kingsley. "How's Barrett?"

"Alive but unconscious. Other than that I don't know, I'm not a healer," Kingsley replied. "I need a healer!" he yelled at the two wizards manning the apparation station.

"Tonks, it's okay," Sirius said gently, as he rubbed his colleague's back. "You're okay, you're safe. You're at the Ministry." He looked around, and inhaled sharply as he noted the obvious absence. He knew what had happened. He knew what Moody would have done, he just hoped he was wrong.

"He's gone, Moody's gone. I'm so sorry Sirius," Tonks said in between tears.

Sirius rubbed her back. He bit his lip. He knew what she meant, but somehow it wouldn't be true until the words confirmed it. "Gone?" he said hesitantly.

"Moody's dead."


	23. Chapter 23

A huge thanks as always to Ambush99 for betting this fic, it wouldn't be possible without you.

 **Chapter 23**

'Moody's dead'. The two words continued to reverberate around his head leaving him unable to react any further. But he needed to. With Moody gone he was effectively in charge of intelligence for the Ministry and, given what had just happened, he needed to react.

"Are you okay?" he asked gently, as he led Tonks to the side of the room.

"Is Tom going to be okay?" Tonks asked as she looked up from Sirius' shoulder.

"I think he's going to be fine. Kingsley is with him and they've just got a healer. I'm sure he'll be just fine." Sirius watched his cousin nod slowly. "Tonks are you okay? Have you been hurt?" he asked urgently.

"I'm fine," Tonks said as she wiped her eyes.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, it's my fault."

"What?"

"He was protecting me."

"No Tonks, that was…" Sirius paused for a moment. He struggled with the tense of his words; by using 'was' he was accepting Moody was in the past tense, but he couldn't. It wasn't as if didn't believe Tonks, he just couldn't accept it. He shook his head as he tried to clear his thoughts. "No that's what Moody would have wanted, and I seriously doubt it was your fault. I think he saw a stray curse and acted on it, the sly dog. He thought very highly of you."

"He did?"

"Of course, you made it through selection didn't you? How many of your year mates did?"

"I don't think any of them made it to the first stage."

"Ah, you see my point then," Sirius said gently with a warm smile. "Tonks, I hate to do this but I need to know what happened."

"It was supposed to be routine. I know none of our work is without risk but the intelligence indicated it was nothing more than a couple of bored kids. I mean, if it was serious he would've taken you."

Sirius grimaced slightly at the second mention of his name in relation to anything serious. He knew Moody wasn't stupid and he knew when it came to anything serious Moody would, would have, he mentally corrected himself, taken him with him. But he wondered if Moody had allowed his concern influence his decision. "Where did you receive the intelligence from?"

"I'm not sure, I think it was from Hill," Tonks replied, as she pushed the hair from her face.

Sirius nodded slowly. He didn't really know Emily Hill other than that she worked for the Department of International Cooperation. Was it simply bad intel, or was there something far more sinister in play? Had Hill deliberately sent them into an ambush? "What happened when you got there?"

"It was quiet. Like eerily quiet, when you know something isn't right," Tonk started. She looked at her cousin's nod before continuing. "We spread out and started to search the area. It can't have been more than half an hour before I heard Tom scream. I rushed over and I…" Tonks stopped and looked down.

"What happened?"

"I froze."

"What?" Sirius said frowning.

"It was my Aunt Bellatrix."

Sirius nodded sadly. "Of course it was, I wouldn't expect anything less from her."

"I'm not stupid, I knew she was a death eater, but seeing her there in the flesh, I don't know. She shot a killing curse at me. If hadn't been for Moody I wouldn't be here," Tonks said in a choked whisper.

"Did?"

"No," Tonks said shaking her head. "It missed both us. I was so stupid and naïve. I thought, I don't know, that maybe she wouldn't kill her niece."

"No," Sirius said shaking his head. "Tonks, my, our family are well, seriously messed up. I would love to say Bellatrix has been brainwashed, but she's way past that stage."

"She was there, when-"

Sirius nodded. "She's tried to kill me a number of times," he admitted, sparing Tonks the full details. "What happened after she cast the killing curse?"

"All hell let loose. We were seriously outnumbered, maybe fifteen to one, well with Tom down it was more like twenty-five to one. I knew the situation had gone to rat-shit, Moody knew it to, so he signalled me to apparate, but I couldn't."

"You couldn't?"

"I know, I thought it was because, I don't know, I was rattled. I've never been in serious combat like that, but when Moody couldn't either I knew we were in trouble," Tonks explained.

Sirius nodded slowly. "Shut down the Apparation Stations and get them relocated to a secure area," he yelled at the Apparation Station wizards.

"What?" one the wizards asked, confused.

"Do you want whatever happened out there, in here?" Sirius exclaimed. "Just fucking lock them down and fucking relocate them."

"Sirius?"

"Tonks, how did you get past the wards?"

"I-I don't know."

"Tonks, I need you to think, okay. I've shut down the stations, I'm about two seconds from shutting down the floo stations and locking down the whole Ministry. And about five seconds after that I'm going to get the Ministry to raise the threat level. I need you to remember everything you know," Sirius urged.

"I don't know. We managed to find some cover and Moody started with an incantation, it seemed like it was ancient. I didn't recognise the language but if I had to guess, I think it was Latin."

"Latin? You didn't?"

"No, I skipped that part of my family education."

Sirius nodded. "Did Moody perform any form of ritual?"

"The wards must have been extensive, as he worked on them for ages. The attacks on the house we were sheltering in were constant, I was just waiting for our shield to fall but Moody was amazing, he just carried on working on them. Then," Tonks said frowning. "He cut his arm and dropped his blood onto the ward."

Despite the situation Sirius found a small smile. "Of course."

"What?"

"Moody's a pure blood," Sirius said shaking his head, still struggling to refer to the man who had been far more than his boss in the past tense.

"I'm sorry Sirius, I'm not following."

"Well you know Voldemort is a sick bastard. A pure blood blood sacrifice would be right up his street. What happened after Moody had cracked the ward?"

"He told me to take Tom and go. I was just dragging Tom to the exit when I heard Aunt Bellatrix laugh and someone shoved me through the ward. I turned around just in time see her killing curse hit Moody. I tried to get back through the ward but I couldn't."

"You wouldn't, you're not a pure blood."

"I wanted to do more, but I couldn't," Tonks said tearfully. "I apparated back here, and well, you know the rest."

"You did the right thing. If you hadn't you would all be dead and we wouldn't have known what happened. The Ministry wouldn't be secure. As hard as it seems right now, you did the right thing."

"It doesn't feel right."

"I know, but..." Sirius stopped for a moment and rubbed his face as he tried to come up with the right words. But how could he, when he could barely deal with it himself. "Moody, well you know what he's like. It was instinct. He just reacted, like you would have done."

"I don't know, I'm not brave like you are or he was."

Sirius shook his head kindly. "Yes you are. You got back here with your injured colleague." He stopped again and sighed. "There was nothing you could've done for Moody." He hugged Tonks again, as he tried to hide his emotions from her. He needed to be strong for everyone now. He was the one who needed to hold it together. "Kingsley, is everything okay?"

"Yeah, he's unconscious but, apparently, there's no lasting damage."

"Good," Sirius said nodding. "I'm shutting down the floo and apparation network to the Ministry. I'm not sure if it was bad intel or if we are compromised."

"Good call. What do you want me to do?"

"I'm not sure who Tom's emergency contact is, but contact them. Then take Tonks and contact Remus. Believe me, when you've been to hell and back, he's the guy you want by your side."

"They're serious?" Kingsley asked. He watched his friend, and now boss, nod. "What are you going to do?"

"I'm going to bring Moody home."

"Sirius?"

"Send everyone home. Lock down the Ministry, make it secure."

"Sirius, what the fuck are you about to do?!"

"I'll be fine, just get everyone home," Sirius said as he stepped into the apparation point.

"Sirius!" Kingsley yelled, as he realised what his friend and boss was just about to do. "Oh fuck it! Bloody hell Sirius!" he exclaimed as he watched him disappear.

Sirius' nose wrinkled as the acrid burning smell of a freshly fought battle invaded his senses. He knew he was being foolhardy but he hardly cared right now. Was it shock, honour or loyalty that drove his emotions right now? Or maybe it was all three? He hoped the Apparation Room wizards had locked down the connections before Kingsley had a chance to react. He didn't want the man to be caught up in his foolhardy endeavour. He knew Kingsley had a young family, with another child on the way. He didn't want to render those young children fatherless just because he wanted to fulfill some form of loyalty ritual to his boss. He shook his head as he tried to clear his thoughts. They needed to be clear, or he wouldn't be returning. He knew some thought he had a death wish. He knew some of those people included his greatest friends. They may have dressed it up or disguised it better than Fudge and his followers, the only difference being the reason. Whilst Fudge sought to destroy him, his friends were concerned. Concerned. A notion, despite their best efforts, that still confused him.

Placing his thoughts and emotions to one side, he carefully scanned the area. It appeared deserted, but he knew looks could be deceiving. He knew the death eaters were probably waiting for someone to return. The muggles called it a second wave attack, but that would indicate Moody was alive when he knew he wasn't. He knew it wasn't a rescue mission, it was a recovery mission, but for whom?

"Ah, little cousin, finally come out to play?"

Sirius mentally winced at the sound of his cousin's voice. He slowly wheeled around to face her. He could feel the anger, like he'd never felt before, building in his chest. "This isn't a fucking game, Bellatrix you deranged bitch," he spat.

"Oh but it is little cousin," Bellatrix giggled, as she twirled a strand of hair around her fingers.

"Just let me have him and I'll be on my way," Sirius growled, knowing his request would fall on deaf ears.

"Did he mean a lot to you?" Bellatrix replied in a shrill, girly voice.

"Fuck off."

"You know, I don't think I will. Once I've had a game with you, you remember those don't you little cousin? Well, then I think I'll have a game with him."

"Fuck off you crazy, evil bitch," Sirius spat.

"No! Crucio," Bellatrix yelled, shooting a curse.

Sirius just managed to dive behind a low wall before the curse hit. "Fuck," he swore. Why did he have to let his emotions get the better of him? If Bellatrix was here, then the others would be here. Tonks said she and Moody had been outnumbered twenty five to one, so he, assuming the death eaters had all stuck around, which he knew they would have, would be outnumbered fifty to one. Great, fucking fantastic idea Sirius, he thought to himself.

"Oh baby Sirius doesn't want to play," Bellatrix giggled. "Come on, it'll be like when we were children."

"I was nine you deranged bitch," Sirius swore, as he wildly looked around. "Fuck," he swore again as he saw more death eaters emerge from the shadows. He noted their typical column formation, but as one single person he could hardly pull off the pincer attack he'd mentioned to Moody only hours ago. He ducked low and covered his head as the wall exploded over him. Time was running out, he knew he wouldn't last much longer out here, alone and utterly exposed.

"Crucio!"

Sirius rolled behind another wall, just missing the incoming curse. "Rod, you know she's only with you so she can get closer to Lord Vomit," Sirius yelled, his lips curling to a small smile as he thought of James' nickname for Voldemort.

"Screw you, you little shit," Rodolphus Lestrange yelled, as he shot another curse in Sirius' direction. "You realise the only reason you are not dead is because the Dark Lord wants to do it personally."

Well that confirms my suspicions, Sirius thought, wincing as debris from a wild curse hit the wall behind him. "So, I hit a nerve then Rod? What's it like to be married to someone who is only using you so she can sleep with Lord Vomit?"

"Don't you dare insult the Dark Lord, he is far purer than you will ever be, you nasty little blood traitor," Rodolphus bit back.

"Ha!" Sirius laughed. "The irony! You do realise he's a bloody half-blood right? Surely your slutty little wife educated you in the ways of our family's pure-blood mania? You do know our family motto, right? 'Toujours Pur', that's French for always pure for your uneducated mind by the way."

"You've been disowned! The most honourable Walburga Black, your own mother, blasted you off the family tree!"

Sirius blinked his eyes several times as the acrid smoke began to burn his eyes. He needed to act quickly. With the increasing smoke, it was only going to decrease his visibility and he doubted he could hold his position much longer. "Indeed she did, although I question the mother bit. Yes, sure in the biological sense she was my mother, but that's where it stops. Then again, I am the head of The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black, so, ah shit, I guess you lose there as well." Sirius stopped, as he continued to scan the area. Where the fuck was he? He wanted to bring Moody's body back but if he waited much longer, there would be two bodies.

"You are a disgrace to the House of Black," Bellatrix spat.

"Yes, my dear mother used to say that a lot. But what are you going to do Bella? Lord Vomit still won't touch you, will he? How does that make you feel? You're a Black after all and therefore 'always pure', and he, a half-blood, won't even look at you," Sirius bit back. His breath hitched as he saw something at the far side of the square. He needed to apparate there, then simultaneously apparate out and into safety, but to where? The Ministry network was closed down, or so he hoped. He found himself nodding as mentally he mapped his idea. Once he apparated out of this hell hole, if he did multi apparations, then hopefully they wouldn't be able to follow him. It was difficult in 'classroom' settings but in a full-on combat situation, whilst dragging a dead body, was it even possible?

"Sectumsempra!"

Sirius bit back a cry as he felt the curse slash his upper arm. He was vaguely aware of a warm, wet, sticky substance running down his arm. "I guess that makes you, well, you're not 'always pure', are you 'old' cousin!" he baited.

"You fucking little shit. I knew you were always a good for nothing blood traitor," Bellatrix spat. "Crucio!"

Just concentrate, come Sirius, you can do this, he told himself. You just need to apparate behind your fucked up cousin, grab Moody and then get the hell of here. Then apparate every few seconds for at least thirty minutes, and you should lose all trace of them. "You keep on telling yourself when Voldemort walks past you without even a single look," Sirius retorted. He picked up a rock, and lightly tossed it in his hand. It was now or never. "So, Bella, what are you going to do? Let him have that muggle?"

"Never! He does not look at any muggles. He thinks they are scum!"

Sirius nodded. "True, he probably…, well, that poor snake." Without a further word, he lobbed the rock as far as he could away from Moody. He smiled slightly as the death eaters seemed to follow his plan, the air becoming thick with curses as they tried to blast the rock from the air. Using the planned distraction, he cleared his mind from any unnecessary thoughts apart from the task in hand. He needed to apparate, grab Moody then apparate out of here. But he couldn't think of the secondary location yet. He knew he would have a split second to think about it, and that's if his luck held. Concentrating hard, he felt the familiar sensation of being forced through a narrow tube as he landed behind Bellatrix. It took every part of him not to curse her, but what good would it do? He was outnumbered, outflanked and surrounded. It would just get him killed, for what? Another foolhardy notion of revenge? He stayed almost a moment too long, enough to see his cousin turn and shoot a curse in his direction. He felt it ripple past his head before he was sucked through a tube.

He landed hard on cold, wet grass, the force of it sending him onto his knees. He closed his eyes for a moment, just wanting to escape from the hell. His hand still gripped tightly around Moody's cold, limp one. His boss, mentor, friend and father figure was dead. He knew he had been stupid, he knew Moody would've yelled at him for what he had done but he couldn't leave him there. Slowly he opened his eyes and looked around. A windswept hilltop in Wales, the Brecon Beacons if he wasn't mistaken. He remembered walking here one school summer holidays when they had stayed with Remus. A time when they were carefree and innocent. It had been raining then as well, he thought. Come on Sirius, pull yourself together, he thought to himself. You need to get out of here and keep going. He closed his eyes and concentrated on another location. A beach with white cliffs top towering above him. Dover, he thought vaguely. Another thought, another location. A wild moorland in Scotland. He did this time after time, hoping he could throw any death eaters off his trail. Each apparation became harder and harder as he felt his eyes droop. He tried to pull his jacket closer to his body as he shivered, but his left arm didn't seem to want to work as well it should. Just one more apparation, he thought to himself sluggishly. Another thought and he found himself landing back inside the Ministry. He threw his arm out and caught the wall, vaguely steadying himself. Merlin it was cold, didn't the Ministry heat the damn place anymore?!

"Mr. Black?"

"What?" Sirius managed, closing one eye as it seemed easier to focus that way.

"Are you okay, do you need anything?"

Sirius blinked a couple of times as he tried to comprehend the question. "Err, no, yeah. I think I lost them but you need to re-establish the wards in case." He took a breath as he tried to steady himself but his mind was far too sluggish for his liking. Would they mind if he fell asleep on the floor, he wondered vaguely.

"Do you want us to do anything…"

He looked down at his feet, suddenly remembering why he was here. Moody, yes, he needed to do something with the body, but he couldn't figure out what. The overriding feeling he had right now was tiredness, and he was sodding cold. "Umm, yes, if you could. Thank you," he finally managed. He knew he should take care of the body himself, but he couldn't. He didn't know what to do. It seemed even the simplest of tasks, such as forming a sentence and putting one foot in front of the other was beyond him now.

"Sirius! There you are, I've been looking all over for you!"

A familiar voice, a familiar face. "Hi James," Sirius instinctively said.

"What the hell happened?"

"Death eater attack. They tried to gain access to Ministry," Sirius replied in a distant voice. He blinked his eyes several times, as they grew heavy.

"What?! How the fuck did that happen?"

"They're death eaters mate, it was only a matter of time," Sirius replied in a monotone voice. Sleep, he needed sleep. He wondered if he could get away with sleeping under his desk tonight. The Ministry was in lock down, so he should be able to sleep, get back to his house for a change of clothes, and no one would be the wiser.

"Are you okay mate?"

"Yeah, just tired that's all," he replied as he pulled his jacket closer. His vision blurred again.

"Tell me about it. Seeing as the Ministry has gone into lock down and we've all been sent home, why don't you head back to mine? We can have a couple of pints at the Red Dragon before Lilly gets home," James replied grinning.

"Sure, sounds good."

James frowned. "Are you sure you're alright?"

"I'm fine, just tired that's all," Sirius managed, not really conscious of what he was saying anymore. Just go back to James', he thought. Maybe he could crash out on the sofa for a few minutes before James dragged him off to the pub. That's all he needed, a few minutes shut eye and a thicker coat, he thought as he shivered.

"Cool, shall we head off? Do you reckon you can get them to let us use the apparation points? I know it sounds lazy but I can't be arsed with pissing around with public apparation in central London right now. I mean, you are Moody's second in command."

Sirius winced at James' last comment. "Sure," he said, wandering forward. "No problem at all," he said, forcing one foot in front of the other. Just one more apparation, then you can sleep he told himself.

"Woah, are you sure you're alright?" James said as he caught his friend under the elbow as he staggered forward when they landed outside his house.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just tired," Sirius repeated. Ten paces until I'm in the house, then another ten I can collapse on the sofa, he mentally calculated.

"How about you catch a couple of hours before we head to the pub then," James said, eyeing his friend with concern.

"That would be good," Sirius replied, almost completely unaware of what he was saying now. It took every part of his energy just to keep putting one foot in front of the other. As he got to the sofa, his legs gave way. He was only vaguely aware of James standing over him, shaking him and calling his name. He was too tired to care. Why wouldn't he just let him bloody sleep?! Didn't he realise how fucking tired he was? And for that matter, why the hell did James like his house so bloody cold, surely it wasn't healthy.

"Sirius! For fuck's sake Padfoot, stop pissing around!" James said as he shook his best friend. He withdrew his hand when it touched something warm and wet, and stared at it in horror. Blood covered his whole hand and wrist. "Fuck, fuck, Merlin fuck," he swore as he began to put his friend's distant reactions and answers together. The overwhelming tiredness, the shivering. Shit, why the hell hadn't he put it together before?! His best friend was in shock.

"Sirius! Mate, I know you're tired mate, but you've got to stay awake for a bit longer, okay. Then you can sleep as much as you like, I promise you," James said he pulled his friend upright. Carefully and with great difficulty, he peeled his friend's jacket off. "Fuck," he swore again. Sirius' whole arm and chest were covered in blood, with the wound on his arm still oozing blood. "Padfoot, mate listen to me, you've got to stay awake. I know it's hard and you're really tired, but you have to stay awake."

He watched in horror as his friend's eyes rolled back and he slumped sideways. "No Sirius! Don't do this to me mate, please don't do this to me again. Okay, just hang in there mate, please just hang in there."


	24. Chapter 24

So, I had a bit of a writing moment, and wooo here's another chapter! Amusingly, I started getting strange looks when I was reading 'the theory of war' in a pub. Ha! Oh well.

Anyway, as always, a huge thanks to Ambush99 for taking time out her busy to beta this chapter!

 **Chapter 24**

James stared at his friend's unconscious, bleeding form, temporarily unable to react. He had never been great at healing, having only just scraped a pass in his final auror exams. He guessed having a wife as an expert potion maker as well as a qualified healer had caused him to grow lazy. But he wished to Merlin he hadn't. Given the amount of blood Sirius had lost and was still losing, he could very well bleed to death before he could do anything. He had had the chance to do something, but had been too involved, too caught up in being allowed to leave early. If he hadn't acted on some immature notion of getting to the pub, he would have noticed his friend could barely form a sentence, let alone stand up. Why the hell hadn't he put two and two together? The Ministry was going into lock down, the threat level had been raised, so his best friend, who was second in command at the aurors' office, had to be involved.

"Okay, shit. What do I need?" he said to himself. "Lily, I need Lily." With a shaking hand he cast his patronus, just hoping it would get to her in time. He nervously raked his hands through his dishevelled and wild hair. What was the spell for healing wounds? He thought hard, but nothing came. Why hadn't he paid attention? His best friend's life depended on him but he couldn't do anything. "What the hell is the bloody spell?" he cried out desperately to the empty room. "Why the hell can't I remember it?! I'm so sorry Sirius, I'm so sorry. I screwed up."

He stepped back for a moment and eyed his desperately pale friend. He looked lifeless. Why the hell couldn't he remember even the most basic of first aid. If he couldn't remember the spell then what could he do? Bleeding, he thought, what did he need to do? "Fuck," he swore again. Why the hell hadn't he thought of it before? "I'll be back in a minute mate," he said, lightly tapping Sirius' shoulder. With that he raced into the kitchen, grabbing as many towels as he could. He frantically scanned the counter tops for anything else. His eyes fell upon a bottle. He felt as if someone had finally answered his prayers. "Oh Merlin, oh thank you. Thank you!" He grabbed the bottle and raced into the sitting room. He screeched to a halt as he stared at his friend. He looked worse that before. He barely looked like he was breathing. Hesitantly he walked forward. With a shaking hand he placed two fingers on Sirius' neck and waited. He exhaled sharply, releasing the breath he didn't realise he was holding. "Shit Sirius, don't bloody do this to me. You're scaring the hell out of me."

He wrapped the tea towels tightly around his friend's arm, in an attempt to slow the bleeding. But as soon as he did so, the blood had already soaked through the towel. "Mate, this is going to be horrible, but I've got to do it. You've lost too much blood as it is and I need to get this potion down you. It would be a hell of a lot easier if you were conscious, but seeing as you didn't listen to me. Oh fuck, I'm sorry mate, I know it's not your fault," he said as he pulled his friend upright, and leant him against his chest. "Right," James said, as he uncorked the bottle of blood replenishing potion. "You need to drink this, you need to drink as much as you can. I'm sorry, it's going to be really uncomfortable." Reluctantly, he tilted Sirius' head back and started to pour the liquid down his friend's throat, wincing as his friend half choked, half swallowed the liquid. He grimaced as he watched at least half the potion spill down his friend's chin and onto his chest, intermingling with blood. He offered up a silent pray, hoping he at least had brought his friend a little extra time.

Upon hearing the familiar pop of someone dropping out of the Apparation network, he let out the breath he was holding. Help was finally here. Upon hearing a second pop he grabbed his wand. He wasn't expecting anyone else. He sharpened his hearing, trying to tune out his friend's increasing ragged breathing. "Lily?" he called out hesitantly.

"James! Are you okay?" Lily exclaimed, crossing the room quickly, as she saw the blood staining his robes.

"I'm fine," James said distantly, as he stood to meet her embrace. "It's not me, it's Sirius!"

"What?" Lily said slowly, taking a moment to recover. She looked down at the sofa. "Oh Merlin!" she gasped, and fell to her knees.

"How long has he been like this?" Another voice demanded, it was calm and in control.

"What?" James replied nervously.

"James, honey this is Ellie Buxton, she's one of my friends from work remember. She's also one of the best healers. How long has Sirius been bleeding for?"

"I-l, I don't know," James stammered.

"He's lost a lot of blood," Ellie said as she started to inspect the wound. "Why didn't you bring him straight to St. Mungo's? There's no way I can transport him in this state."

"I didn't know he was hurt."

"You didn't realise?! He's lost at least five pints of blood! He would've been unconscious ages ago judging by the rate he's losing it. How long has he been unconscious?" Ellie demanded, as she started to work on the wound.

"I don't know, maybe five minutes."

"How is that possible?"

"You don't know Sirius."

Ellie nodded. "This is not a normal wound. Have you given him anything? Have used any form of magic?"

James shook his head, blinking his eyes as tears threatened. "I couldn't remember the bloody healing spell."

"It wouldn't have mattered, it's not working."

"Oh god, he's going to die isn't he?" James said tearfully, as he rubbed his face.

"Not if I can help it. James, I need to know if you gave him anything," Ellie demanded again.

"I, I just tried to get him to drink that blood replenishing potion you had on the side."

"That old one?" Lily said, looking up for the first time.

"Shit, no, don't tell me I've made it worse!"

"No," Ellie reassured. "It wouldn't have done him any harm. Potions just begin to lose their effectiveness after a while. Lily, there's too much blood, I can't see what I'm working on."

Lily nodded. "Suctus," she said pointing her wand at the wound. "What kind of curse did this!?"

"I have no idea, but it's some form of dark magic," Ellie said, shaking her head. She looked up at James, who looked like a broken man. "James, I need you do something for me, do you think you can do that?" she asked kindly.

James stared down at his friend, his eyes unblinking. "Yeah, umm, sure. What do you need me to do?"

"I need you to give him the blood replenishing potion. Do you think you can do that for me?"

James looked between his friend and Ellie fearfully. "I, I think…" he trailed off.

Ellie reached up and put a reassuring hand on James' arm. "It won't be as traumatic as last time. I'm going to give you a spell so you can give it to him intravenously. Okay?" She watched him nod slowly. "Okay, you need to hold the bottle up to him and point your wand at him. Then you need to say _'inserere'._ Do you think you can do that?"

"Inserere," James repeated slowly. "Yeah, I think I should be okay to do that." He sank down to his knees. "Mate, you've got to hang in there, okay. You've got two very pretty ladies working hard to make sure you live. Now, one of those ladies is my wife, so you can't have her." He stopped and looked up at Ellie apologetically. "I'm sorry, I didn't, well I just wanted to encourage him. I didn't mean any offence."

"None taken. Lily are you ready?" Ellie watched her friend nod. "James?"

"Yeah," James said nervously. With shaking hands he picked up one the vials. "Mate, fight okay. We need you, you've got to fight. Inserere," he whispered, as he watched Lily and Ellie work frantically. He returned his attention back to the vial, it was empty. He picked up another vial, and muttered the incarnation. "So, mate what are you doing this weekend?" he said to his unconscious friend. "There's a new pub just opened up in Diagon Alley, I thought we could check it out or something."

"Vulnera sanentur," Ellie tried in a song like voice. She let out a sigh of relief as she watched the wound magically repair itself. "Sirius, you are one tough customer," she said patting him on the shoulder.

"Is he going to be alright?" James asked hesitantly.

"He's going to be fine. He'll probably feel a little tired and weak for a couple of days, but as long as he takes it easy, he'll be fine."

"Sirius doesn't take things easy," Lily said shaking her head.

Ellie nodded. "I thought as much. James, give him a couple more of these vials," she said, returning her attention back to bandaging Sirius' arm. "As we didn't get to it early enough, it'll probably leave a scar."

James looked up after delivering the final vial. He frowned, how long had that owl been there? "I'll be back in a second mate," he said patting his friend's shoulder. Hesitantly, he took the piece of parchment off the owl. He frowned again when he recognised the writing. He found his breath hitching as he read its content. Suddenly everything made sense. "Mate," he whispered, bending down, rubbing his friend's shoulder. "I'm so sorry."

"James?"

James handed his wife the letter before returning his attention back to his friend. "Sirius, I'm so sorry. It's going to be alright."

Lily took the letter with hesitant hands, and began to read.

 _James,_

 _Is Sirius okay? Please tell me he's with you! I had to pick Tonks up from St. Mungo's. She, Barrett and Moody were caught up in a death eater attack. Moody's dead! I can't believe it! Reply to this owl as soon as you get it. Sirius shouldn't be alone at a time like this._

 _Remus_

"Oh Sirius," Lily whispered.

"Lily?'

"Alastor Moody is dead," Lily informed Ellie sadly.

"Oh Merlin," Ellie exclaimed, covering her face. "I know two aurors were brought in earlier but I didn't know anything happened to Alastor Moody. Surely this will finally wake Fudge up!"

"I doubt it," Lily said angrily. "I pity whoever is taking over from Moody."

"Sirius."

"What?"

"Sirius is taking over from Moody. Poor guy. Moody was far more than a boss to him, he was a father figure."

"So Fudge can try and destroy him more than he already is!"

"Sirius is strong."

"Everyone has their breaking point," Ellie retorted.

"That's what you think Fudge is doing?"

"Yes," Ellie said, looking at Sirius' unconscious form. "At least we know we're still safe with Sirius in charge. I just can't believe Moody's gone."

* * *

A crackling sound and a dull light brought him slowly to his senses. He was warm and the bed he was lying on was comfortable. He didn't want to leave it, but the dull ache throbbing from his upper arm reminded him he had to. He slowly sat up and rubbed his face, wondering what horrors he would face today. How would Fudge seek to destroy him? He stood up slowly, testing his body. Apart from the dull ache in his arm, it appeared to be functioning. Judging by the light outside it was just before sunrise, therefore he had to have been asleep for at least twelve hours, yet he felt as tired as if he'd not slept for forty eight hours. Well, that's what he thought anyway as he looked around the room. His last conscious thought was meeting James at the Ministry and agreeing to go to the pub, but he didn't feel hungover, just overwhelming tired. He looked down at his throbbing arm. "Shit," he swore. He had to stop doing this; turning up at his friend's house half dead and passing out.

He looked around the room, in search of his clothes. Spying them on the chair in the corner of the room, he pulled on his jeans. "Fuck," he swore gently, as the t-shirt brushed against his upper arm. He took a couple of breaths, trying to ride out the pain as his eyes watered slightly. He knew he was probably going against every form of medical advice but what choice did he have? He was head of the auror department and yesterday he'd shut down the Floo and Apparation Networks, as well as raising the threat level. People, namely the Minister of Magic, would be asking questions. Questions only he could answer. He knew his answers would only bring criticism but he was sick of it. The Ministry had lost a good man due to Fudge's inaction. He knew Fudge would somehow shift the table of blame to him but he didn't care. He knew Moody had been shielding him from some of Fudge's campaign, but enough was enough. They were at war. If Fudge was going to continue his campaign, he had to start his own. He would continue to fight until his dying breath and he wasn't going to let some career politician take him down. He bent down to tie his boots and felt his vision swim, as the severe lightheadedness returned. Great, he thought, my body is refusing to cooperate. He sat up slowly, allowing his body to regulate his equilibrium. He wondered how he was going to take on Fudge when he could barely sit upright without feeling as though he was about to pass out? He slowly stood, waiting for the lightheadedness to pass before heading downstairs.

"Morning Lily," he said, in an attempt to keep the mood light.

"Sirius!" Lily exclaimed, as she quickly crossed the room towards him. "I'm so sorry. He meant a lot to all of us, especially you," she said as she gently hugged him.

"Thank you, and Lily I'm sorry," Sirius said hesitantly.

"Whatever for?"

"I promised you I'd never turn up at your door half-dead," Sirius said looking down. "And well, I've done it again."

"Oh Sirius," Lily said gently hugging him again. "As much as I'd like that, I know that's unfortunately not going to happen. We're at war, and you are at the forefront of it. I'd far rather you come back here, then at least I know you've been properly treated. Now, how are you?"

Sirius blinked several times. He thought of his standard answer, but he couldn't, not when she had undoubtedly saved his life last night. "I feel, well tired, lightheaded and my arm bloody kills," he confessed.

"Well you did lose a lot of blood last night, so that would account for the lightheadedness and tiredness. I can give you some pain killers…"

"No, I need my head to be clear," Sirius cut in.

"And it's going to be so very clear when you are distracted by the pain."

"You have a point."

Lily raised an eyebrow. "You're worse than James!" She shook her head. "Right, let's have a look. Move your fingers for me. Good. Do you have any numbness or tingling?" She watched Sirius shake his head. "It's going to leave a scar."

"I'm alive and my arm still functions; I think it's a small price to pay. Anyway, don't chicks dig scars?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "You two are impossible!" She stopped for a moment as she considered her next question. "So, what are you going to do?"

Sirius took a breath and thought for a moment. "I'm going to take the fight to Fudge."

"What?"

"Moody and I." Sirius' breath hitched as he thought of his former mentor. "Well, we tried to play the soft game and bring Fudge round politically but it's evident it hasn't worked. I'm going to be issuing several arrest warrants when I get in later. I'll tell Fudge out of professional courtesy, but I'm no longer going to take any more crap from him. I only did for our strategy, but now, well screw him. We lost a good man because of his inaction. We were lucky we didn't lose more."

"Yes Sirius, we are lucky," Lily said pointedly, as she looked him up and down.

"Lily, look, I should be going."

"No, you are going to wait for James and you are going to drink some blood replenishing potion. If you want to play hard ball with Fudge, that's fine and I'll support you every step of the way, but you can't do that if you pass out."

As if on cue, James walked through the door. "Sirius! Mate, you're up! How are you?"

Sirius looked his friend up and down for a moment. He looked as though he'd aged since he had last seen him. "Mate, I'm…"

"Don't you dare say you're sorry, none of this shit is your fault. You scared the hell out of me, but it's not your fault. I don't think you even realised you were hurt. So stop, okay. Just, mate you have too much shit to deal with, too much, I don't know," James said as he sighed. "Fuck, we don't need this. There is too much shit going around for us to start feeling guilty around each other. So right, let's make a pact, let's not have any of this guilt hanging around us."

Sirius looked down and bit his lip. He found the corner of his mouth twitching. "Sure," he said grinning as he took James' hand and shook it. "I have some business to attend to at the Ministry."

"Lily, is he okay?" James questioned.

"He'll be fine, just as long as he takes these. Sirius, drink this now," Lily said handing him a bottle. She watched Sirius drain it, handing her back the empty bottle. "Take these with you. Take one in a couple of hours. If you feel lightheaded, just find somewhere to sit down and drink the other. I'm serious, Sirius." She sighed as she watched her husband and his best friend laugh. "Really?! How old are you?"

"Lily, I'll be fine, and I promise I'll take the potions," Sirius said nodding.

"And don't work late. Sirius, you are recovering from major blood loss. If you push yourself too hard, too soon, you could do yourself real damage. I'm serious, please Sirius just get back here before supper."

Sirius found a small smile and nodded. "Of course Lily and thank you."

James followed his friend out of the door. "Mate, are you okay?"

"James, not now."

James nodded. "What's the plan?"

"We're at war."

James took a sharp intake of breath and bit his lip. "Officially?"

"Officially, no, that would mean that thick fuck would actually fucking take action!" Sirius spat. "No, the auror department is officially on a war footing. I've tried to play nice with Fudge, and what has it got me, apart from a kick in the face and a good man dead?"

James nodded. "What do you want me to do?"

"Nothing at this point," Sirius said, patting James' shoulder. He stopped. "Actually mate, there is something." He stopped again and watched his friend raise his eyebrows and nod. "Okay, yesterday I wasn't in the best of conditions when I got back with Moody. I asked them to take care of him, but I just don't know if they gave him the respect he deserves."

"Of course, Padfoot," James said, wrapping an arm around his friend's shoulders. "I may not have been as close to him as you, but I still had a huge amount of respect for him. He was a good man, he didn't deserve to go the way he did."

"Thank Prongs," Sirius said sadly.

"What are you going to do?"

"Change the game. Put an arrest warrant out for my cousin amongst others and take it to Fudge!"

"Good," James said nodding. "Let's get to the Ministry, you take care of business and I'll ensure Moody is treated with the respect he deserves."

The two old friends exchanged nods before apparating to the Ministry. "Good luck mate," James said, patting his friend on the shoulder.

"Thanks," Sirius said with a smile. Without further word, he strode down the Ministry foyer towards the lifts. He nervously rocked up and down on the balls of his feet as the lift rode down towards the Minister of Magic's Office.

"I know you are reckless and unbalanced, but what the hell did you do yesterday?"

"My job," Sirius growled as he turned around to face his adversary. "I took the necessary action to secure the Ministry and protect everyone within."

"Said you!"

"You think this is the work of some random idiot?!" Sirius bit back pointing to the livid scar on his arm. "You think Alastor Moody's death is the work of some madman?! Fucking wake up!"

"Don't you dare talk to me like that! I am the Minister of Magic!" Fudge spat.

"Then bloody well start acting like it!" Sirius snarled. "I just came down as professional courtesy. I'm issuing arrest warrants for Bellatrix and Rodolphus Lestrange."

"You can't!"

"Why not? Because she's a cousin? Or is it because they line your pocket?"

"How dare you!" Fudge growled. "I'll have your job!"

"Good luck with that. Maybe you should be doing yours before you start judging others," Sirius said, as he roughly pushed past Fudge.

"Just where the hell do you think you are going?!"

"I'm going to talk to my team and then I'm going to pay my respects to the bravest and greatest man this office has ever seen." Without a further word, Sirius strode back towards the lifts and out of sight.


	25. Chapter 25

Another chapter and another huge thank to Ambush99 for her tireless work and encouragement.

The speech is highly influenced by several key speeches (Elizabeth I, General Wolfe, Patrick Pease, Nelson Mandela amongst others)

 **Chapter 25**

Sirius leant against the lift walls. He didn't know whether to laugh, smile or scream. Fudge was undoubtedly going to try to fire him, but hadn't that always been his intention? The process had just been accelerated. Fudge had never liked him, even when he was a lowly auror in training. He didn't know why, he'd just accepted it. He had always thought it strange considering the highly influential family he had been born into, especially given Fudge's ambitious nature, but what did he care? It had never been his intention to cause conflict and strife within the Ministry walls, but what choice did he have? He rubbed his face, trying to ignore the increasing pain in his arm. He fingered the bottles of potion in his pocket. He had to deliver a motivational speech to the auror department. A department he was now responsible for the wellbeing and safety of. He ran a hand through his hair. At thirty-five, with barely five years experience as an auror and having spent over thirteen years as a captive, he felt grossly ill prepared for the task before him.

"Morning Kingsley," Sirius said, forcing enthusiasm into his voice, as he walked into the office.

"Morning Sirius… fuck, what the hell happened to your arm?!" Kingsley exclaimed.

"Oh, a family argument," Sirius said lightly.

"What?"

"The death eaters, my cousin included, weren't best pleased to see me yesterday."

"Shit, I tried to apparate with you but the stations were locked down."

"I know, that was my intention."

"Shit, Sirius, by the look of it, you could have bloody been killed!" Kingsley exclaimed as he followed Sirius to his desk.

"Look, okay I wasn't in the best of states last night but I'm fine now. I'm not going to subject myself to a fitness test, as I would probably pass out before completion, but I'm okay. I'm not about to die or anything," Sirius said as he shuffled through some paperwork. "Kingsley, stop looking at me like that. I'm fine, I'm not about to pass out or anything."

"Did you go to St. Mungo's?"

"No," Sirius started, before quickly launching into an explanation of last night's event. "So, I'm cool, okay. How's Tom? Remus owled me about Tonks this morning."

"He's fine. He'll need a couple of days off but, apart from that, he's fine."

"Good," Sirius said as he looked up towards Moody's office. "It doesn't seem real, right? Moody gone. I always imagined him retiring after me. Stupid really when you consider what we do for a living."

"I know, I always thought he'd be here forever. As you said, naive considering our line of work. So what's the plan now?"

Sirius sighed, as he collected his thoughts. "Well, a change of strategy. A strategy I know the Minister does not support."

"Sirius?"

"Kingsley, I need you to start drawing up arrest warrants."

Kingsley nodded. "Who for?"

"To start with, the Lestranges. We have evidence against them."

Sirius, we've had evidence for a while," Kingsley replied as he looked pointedly at his boss.

"I know," Sirius said uncomfortably, as he looked down at the floor. "I don't trust my memories around that time, and I doubt they would stand up in court. Any half decent lawyer would rip them to shreds within minutes."

"Of course. Anyone else?"

Sirius leant back against his desk and thought for a moment before continuing. "Yes, draw one up for Tom Marvolo Riddle."

"Who?"

"Voldemort."

"You've discovered his true identity?" Kingsley started. He watched Sirius nod before continuing. "Do you think it'll help us?"

"Yes, even if it's for the fact people realise he's human and not some greater power."

"What's the Ministry's official policy?"

"You know Fudge, the world is all happy and there is no evil, so long as his duck house is intact and he can continue to dine at the finest restaurants," Sirius said bitterly.

"So, we're at peace. And our office?"

Sirius slowly swallowed. "We're at war."

Kingsley inhaled sharply and paused for a moment, as he processed the latest information. "Good," he finally said.

"It's not something I wanted to do, but I feel I don't have any other choice. Each moment we stand here allowing our Ministry's inaction to continue, is a moment closer to our destruction. We tried the political game with Fudge, we tried bringing him around to the fact, but it did not work. I don't want to work against the Ministry, as I fear it will cause internal instability, but as the head of the Department for Intelligence and Security, I feel I have no choice."

"And I completely agree with you. What do you think Fudge will do?"

Sirius ran a hand over his face before answering. "He's going to go for me. He'll try and dismiss me as mentally unstable and therefore dangerous and unable to fulfill my role. If that doesn't work, well, I wouldn't put it past him to arrest me for treason."

"Really?! You think he'll go that far?"

Sirius nodded. "He's an arrogant fuck, but more than that he's scared, and scared people do stupid things."

"What are you going to do now?"

"I guess I've got to brief the troops," Sirius said uncertainly. "Any suggestions?"

"Be yourself. They know you, they trust you and they believe in you."

"Thanks," Sirius said, his voice trailing off towards the end. He took a breath as he tried to compose himself. He stepped onto his desk. Clearing his throat, he started. "It seems right, before we turn away from this place and we lay to rest the mortal remains of Alastor Moody, that one among us should, in the name of all, speak the praise of that valiant man, and endeavour to formulate the thought and the hope that we are as strong as he was. Alastor Moody was a good man, and yes he was flawed, as we all are, but he was a good man. He wanted peace above all else. He did not want conflict. As much as others would suggest he was a warmonger, he was not. We lost a good man yesterday, not because of carelessness, but because of our ministry's inaction against the growing threat of tyranny and oppression. You know too well the forces we stand against. You know what Voldemort stands for. He stands for the outlaw, the isolation and oppression of the peoples of our world, precisely because the nartive has become the pernicious ideology and practice of discrimination of persons due to their blood status. For this reason we cannot let Voldemort win this war. We cannot let the Ministry fall. And we need to honour the brave work Moody did before us, as I believe it will lead us to victory, to defeating this growing evil." He stopped and took a moment to contain himself. He took in the shocked and confused looks in the eyes before him, along with the encouraging ones. "I've given this high speech yet I, well, I've given you no solution. We need to fight this bastard on whatever ground he fights, with whatever tools he uses, we need to fight him. I know I come to you with limited knowledge, but I bare to you the same information that is laid before me. I will fight this enemy at whatever cost to me, at whatever debt or sacrifice I need to make, I will fight this enemy to my dying breath." He stood there awkwardly for a second before jumping off the desk, not before he was met with a standing ovation.

"Was that okay?"

Kingsley laughed. "I think if Fudge didn't despise you, well he would get his speechwriters to kidnap you. Where the hell did you pull that from?"

"The lift after I spoke with Fudge," Sirius said with a shrug. "How long do you think it'll take you to draft an arrest warrant?"

"A day at most."

Sirius nodded. "Okay, look that's fine. I'm not going to be okay enough to go into the field for a couple of days and I'm not going to issue any warrants if I cannot serve them."

"Sirius?"

"Kingsley, mate, it's going to be shit okay, but you already know that. Your wife, is she...?" He watched Kingsley's expression. "Oh for fuck's sake, I couldn't give a shit if she is Muggle born, squib or pure blood, I wanted to know in case we needed to add additional wards to your house!"

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it."

"She's a half blood. Her mother is a witch, her father a Muggle."

"We'll offer them additional protection then."

"I'm sorry, Sirius, I well, with everything happening, you would have thought I could trust my friends."

Sirius nodded slowly, knowing his life had changed dramatically in the last twenty four hours. "People betray you, sometimes even your closest friends. I know that better than most, but if we can't trust our friends in the darkest of hours then I question humanity."

"I didn't mean to imply..."

Sirius waved his hand dismissively. "I know. Trust your instincts and tell someone. Just, just don't act as I did." He watched the other man nod. "I'll be back in a bit, I've just got a couple of things I need to attend to."

Sirius found himself walking slowly down the corridors, his hands stuffed in his pockets, lost in thought. People walked about their business without a care in the world. He wondered if they knew about Moody's death, or maybe they were just unaffected. It slowly dawned on him what a momentous effect Moody had had on his life, and now he was gone. His life snuffed out like a candle at the end of an evening. Without realising it, nor knowing how, he found himself standing outside the Apparation Room. He stood there for a moment, collecting his thoughts.

"What are you doing here?"

Sirius spun around to see Fudge standing behind him. "Cornelius, this is neither the time nor the place. I'm just here to pay my respects, I don't want any trouble."

"Fine," Fudge snapped as he brushed past him.

Sirius watched Fudge and a small, squat witch dressed in pink disappear down the corridor. He picked up snippets from their conversation. Great, he thought, as he heard 'half-breeds', you go after innocent people and remain blind and inactive to the growing threat of tyranny and war. He sighed. As much he wanted to take action, there was little he could do other than try to shield Remus from the worst of it.

"You're here."

Sirius spun around to come face to face with Lucius Malfoy. "Hello Lucius," he said in a forcedly pleasant voice.

"You should be careful."

"What?"

"Well I doubt you'd want people to know about your adoption," Lucius drawled, resting a light finger on Sirius' shoulder.

Sirius laughed. "Oh Lucius, it is hardly a secret. I've never hidden the fact I'm adopted. Why would I? When it was one of the best things to ever happen to me in my life. Really Lucius, you need to try harder than that."

"You should be more careful. Well, you know 'accidents' happen," Lucius said, scowling.

"Are you threatening me?" Sirius said calmly, as he cocked his head to one side. "Because threatening a Ministry employee is an arrestable offence. You do realise that, don't you? I'm not sure Azkaban robes would be a good look for you."

"I'd watch your tone if I were you. You do realise my lawyer is investigating the Will? Your 'adoption' may invalidate any claim you have to the Black title," Lucius hissed menacingly.

"Investigate away, see if I give a shit! Because, really I don't. Being adopted by the Potters was probably the best day of my life, I finally had a family." Sirius stopped and watched Lucius' mouth slowly curl up into a smile. "But I hate to break it to you, the Will has been checked and scrutinised by several key people and it's, well, airtight. That's the thing about my blood family, they were a paranoid, pure-blood mania bunch of twats. They wouldn't have wanted any chance it would fall to a half-blood or, worse still, a Muggle. Sorry," Sirius finished as he flicked Lucius' cheek with his finger. Without a further word, he turned on his heels and strode towards the Apparation Room.

This was going to be the difficult bit, he thought, but he had to do it. Jean Moody deserved more than a couple of official visits from the Ministry. He owed her more than that. He owed Moody more than that. Stepping into the stop, he concentrated and was transported out of the Ministry.


	26. Chapter 26

As always a huge thanks to Ambush99 for betaing this chapter, and her continued encouragement.

The last part of the fic, well I wrote it a couple of months ago – mid December I think. Anyways… here we go.

 **Chapter 26**

He lay awake, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. It was not yet dawn, yet he'd given up any attempt on sleep. Tonight had been particularly bad, he had barely managed an hour before the nightmares had attacked him. They were always different but they always had the same theme; the torture and murder of his friends and family. He sat up and rubbed his face, before glancing at his watch and sighing. It was four in the morning, there was no way he could go to the office without questions being asked. He looked around his dark and dusty room, the state his head was in right now there was no way he could work on doctrine. He couldn't rid the scene from his mind. The blood, so much blood, he could see it, smell, almost feel and taste it. He could see Harry's terrified face and hear his screams, they still verbrated around his head.

He needed to get out. He needed to escape. He wasn't sure if it was from the nightmares, the house or both. He just needed to escape, he needed to be free. Grabbing his trainers, he slipped them on, he grabbed his Walkman and ran out of the house. There was no route, no destination in mind, no plan, just freedom. The dimly lit streets passed him by in a blur, he barely registered them. He just needed to get away. But what was it he was escaping? The nightmares, the house or maybe he just wanted to escape the responsibility which now rested upon his shoulders? The thought of his blood family pushed him on further, he barely noticed the burning in his legs. He just needed a release from all of this. He wasn't the person to lead the wizarding world against Voldemort. He was just Sirius. Just some guy who had been born into a rich family. A child who had argued with his family and run away. He was an idiot who had been out manoeuvred by his less academic former friend. The memories of his time in captivity pushed him harder up the hill. He ignored his screaming lungs, or did he even notice them? He felt numb. He just wanted to escape, he just wanted to be free.

He pushed up the final few steps before collapsing against a wall. His breath came in deep gasps, as he fought the overwhelming urge to vomit. He blinked his eyes several times as he took in his surroundings. Alexandra Palace, he thought as he looked around. Which meant he was about ten miles from the house and, given it was now dawn, moments from sunrise, he had to have been running for at least two hours. Where he'd run in those hours, he had no idea, nor did he care. As his breathing began to return to normal, he took a moment to appreciate the sunrise. He watched the sun's rays slowly creep across the city, slowly filling each street, each square, with golden light. Was this what he was fighting to save? He knew if they were defeated, Voldemort would not stop at the wizarding world. He was a narcissist, who above all else desired power. No, Voldemort would continue his war deep into the Muggle world. And who could say he would stop with Great Britain? Sirius shook his head. He had studied Voldemort, like he had studied all of his enemies. Voldemort would not stop until he had total global domination. Power over all.

Slowly pulling himself to his feet, he began to walk down the hill towards the bus stop, rubbing his arms as he went. It was early May and still cool in the mornings. He silently cursed himself for not bringing a jumper with him, but then he hadn't exactly been thinking clearly when he had left the house. It was a mere miracle he had change for the bus, or his conscious, sensible mind always ensured there was change in a pocket, just in case he was careless. He knew he could apparate but, after these all consuming runs, he never had the stomach for it.

"Morning," Sirius said as he stepped onto the bus. "Arundel Square, please."

"That'll be 45p," the bus driver replied. "Good run?"

"Tiring, but satisfying, thanks. You run?"

The bus driver laughed. "No, not in a while. I watch my lad play football on Saturdays, does that count?"

"I reckon so," Sirius replied smiling. "Your lad, is he any good?"

"Of course I'm biased but I reckon so. We're lucky right? Not being at war," the bus driver observed. "Sorry, my family's from Bosnia."

"I'm so sorry, are they okay?"

"They managed to escape to Italy. But you don't need to hear my woes first thing in the morning."

"Don't worry about it," Sirius replied with a smile. He stepped aside to let a couple of people onto the bus. "Anyway, I better move and let you do your job. Nice chatting."

"You too."

Sirius made his way down the bus and found a spare seat. It was relatively empty this time of the morning and the traffic was light. He leant his head against the cool glass, and watched the streets pass by. 'Not at war', he thought; if he only knew. But that's why he was fighting, to stop the war from spreading into the Muggle world. He had wanted to stop it from spreading into the wizarding world, but that ship had sailed. All he could do now was to try to stop it from escalating. He looked around the bus, at the innocent people. If Voldemort won would they be killed? Would there be countless murders? Would there be genocide? He doubted Voldemort would care about mass graves, after all he'd probably see it as a conquest. He sighed, he was bloody terrified of losing this war. The consequences were just too great. Not just for the wizarding world, but for the global ramifications. How do you defeat an army whose leader is immortal?

Once back at the house, he quickly showered and changed his clothes before apparating straight to the Ministry. Usually he would have taken the tube, but his run had taken longer than, well, it had been long.

"Kingsley," Sirius said, tapping the older man on the shoulder as they queued for coffee.

"Oh morning, Sirius. Do you want anything?"

"I'll get them, what do you want?"

"Just an espresso."

"Meet at the location, tonight at seven," Sirius whispered, as he leant forward to pay for the coffees. "Spread the word."

Kingsley nodded. "Going to the quidditch this weekend?"

"The Arrows against the Cannons? Nah, neither are my teams. You?"

"Yeah, I managed to get really decent tickets, I'm taking Josh."

"His first game right?"

"Yeah," Kingsley said with a grin, as they walked towards the office. "He's going to be a fantastic player when he's older."

Sirius laughed and smiled, feeling content just to have a normal conversation that didn't involve the war, Voldemort or anything else evil. "You do realise he's five, right?"

"Never too young to get them started."

"Sure," Sirius replied as they walked into the main office. "Right, I better get to work. I'll see you tonight." He made his way slowly up the stairs into his office, yet it still, even after all of these months, it still felt like he was intruding. Looking around the office, it was as though nothing had changed, just the resident. Sirius just couldn't bring himself to pack the office up, it felt so real, so final; that he would have to finally accept Moody was dead. He knew that he was but, somehow, he knew it was stupid, but it gave him hope. It gave him hope that things could go back to the way they were. That he could pretend he had never gone after Peter, that there had never been a first war. That he had graduated Hogwarts with his friends and continued to mess around at work with James, as they did when they were at Hogwarts. That Remus was employable and Peter wasn't evil. He knew it was stupid, but in such dark times as these, he needed hope. He needed every last gasp of positivity he could get his hands on.

* * *

James sat back in the chair and interlaced his fingers as he waited for the others to turn up. Maybe this was the opportunity to talk to his friend, but he doubted it. He knew if he wanted to talk to Sirius in private, he would have to do something drastic. He knew Sirius was avoiding him, not only him, but others as well. For what reason he did not know, but he needed to take action. He was worried about his friend. He knew from his school years Sirius was not the best of sleepers. He knew his friend had been plagued by nightmares before he had been taken hostage, and that they had only got worse afterwards. He had seen evidence of Fudge's campaign to undermine his friend, yes it had been subtle but it had been there nonetheless. His friend appeared unaffected by the campaign, but he knew looks could be deceiving, after all his best friend had appeared fine at school, when all along he had been tortured every time he had gone home.

"Evening everyone," Sirius said as he strode into the room. "I am glad so many of you could make it at such short notice." He watched as everyone nodded and exchanged greetings. It was a good turnout, far better than he could have hoped. They had had Order meetings before, but this was, perhaps, the largest of them. He looked around the room and spied his best friend sitting in the corner. Sirius quickly looked away, avoiding eye contact. He sat back for a moment, as he thought of what to do next. Did he launch into a big speech? Try to inspire them? He doubted any of them needed motivation. Did he spell out what he wanted of them? No, that seemed too dictatorial. Or did he just open up the discussion? Damn it, he was the leader of the Order, he was the one who should be setting the agenda. "I could launch into some speech about our fight against tyranny, but you know all too well what we are fighting against and why we cannot lose these battles. I think it's best if we open the room to debate and discussion. Indeed, every Ministry department is represented here."

"Any updates on the arrest warrants?"

"Not as yet," Sirius said sadly. "We are continuing our hunt and we have issued the information out to the Muggle population. They cannot hide forever; at some point they will slip up and we will capture them."

"Are you going to issue any more?"

"Not at the moment. It's not as if we don't want to, we just don't have any concrete evidence and I don't want these bastards to get off on a technically," Sirius said seriously. "If anyone has any suggestions, please I am all ears."

"What the fuck is Fudge doing?"

"Did you honestly think you would get sense out of that man," Minerva McGonagall spat. "He was a couple of years below me at school and he was a pompous idiot then; not a lot has changed."

"Have you any idea of how to handle him?"

"Give him a brain transplant," McGonagall said bitterly.

Sirius nodded. Fudge wasn't really his concern. As long as he continued to let him criticise him, he could distract him and he would stay blinded to the real mission. "Arthur, do you have any further information about the guns?"

"Yes, but well," Arthur started.

"You don't look dodgy enough?" Sirius suggested.

"Basically, yes. We can get some in London but, well, we need someone who would look credible," Arthur filled in.

"Yo, Dung!" Sirius said loudly.

"Yes, yes whatever you say Sirius," Mundungus Fletcher yawned, as he rubbed his eyes.

"You don't even know what I want you do to."

"Buy some cauldrons or something," Mundungus said looking at Sirius.

"No, I want you to buy some guns off a gang in London," Sirius said, eyeing Mundungus carefully.

"What? Why?" Mundungus exclaimed. "Why? Is it because I look like a criminal or something?"

"Basically, yes," Sirius said with a raised eyebrow.

"Fine," Mundungus said shaking his head.

"Ivanov, do you have any update on the Russian arms trade?" Sirius questioned.

"With the right money you can get anything. Anything from a 0.5kT nuclear weapon housed in a suitcase, to a ICBM with a 50mT warhead. Sirius, you don't think...," Ivanov trailed off.

"At the moment, I don't know. I am covering all bases. As much as I think it's unlikely Voldemort will use Muggle weapons, I don't want to be left exposed just because I assumed. I've studied the man. He's a narcissist and sociopath, who desires power. He despises Muggles because of what his father did to his mother. He thinks Muggles are filth and unintelligent, but I wouldn't put it past him to use Muggle weapons for his endgame," Sirius said. He leant back and raked a hand through his hair. "I don't know how he's going to fight this war, but we need to be ready. We need to study every dark arts book there is, I don't care how old or modern it is, we need to study, because I guarantee you he's getting his Death Eaters to do the same. We need to look to the Muggle world, we need to look at anything. Anything that will give us the advantage. Voldemort will not stop at the wizarding world. He will not stop until he has achieved global domination."

"God, this would be so much easier if Fudge actually bloody listened," Alice Rose from the Department of International Cooperation said.

"Yes, yes it would but we have to be careful. No one can know about these meetings. No one can know about the Order. Best case we lose our job, but more than likely it will earn us a one way ticket to Azkaban, or the Dementor's Kiss." Sirius paused for a moment as he looked around the room. "Look, I understand if anyone wants to back out, I completely respect that. What I am asking of you is great."

"But if Voldemort comes to power we are dead anyway," Ivanov said fiercely. "We are screwed if we do, we are screwed if we don't. I'd far rather go down fighting against the bastard than sitting there at home waiting for him to kill me and my family."

Sirius watched everyone else in the room nod and murmer their agreement. "Okay, I will send details of the next meeting shortly. Again everyone, thanks for attending."

James leant back against the wall in the corner of the room, as he watched his friend thank the Order members. To anyone else Sirius looked fine, but not to him. He had known Sirius since he was eleven. He had seen his friend go through the best and worst times of his life. In the flickering light, he could see the shadows and strain on his friend's face. He needed to take action. Sirius was too integral to the Order and the fight against Voldemort, but far more than that, this was his best friend, this was his brother. He slipped out of the shadows as he watched Sirius turn to leave and grabbed his arm, apparating on the spot.

"What the fuck?" Sirius exclaimed, as he jumped back, pulling out his wand in one smooth action.

"Sirius! It's me," James yelled, jumping back.

"James, what the fuck?! What the hell are you doing?" Sirius said looking around wildly. "Where the hell are we? What the fuck are you doing?"

"I need to talk to you," James said calmly, as he held out his hands, taking a step back.

"And what the fuck, you thought it would be a good idea to bloody kidnap me?!"

"Padfoot, we are going to figure this out, okay. We are at Heddon's Mouth, just outside my village."

Sirius walked away. He rapidly raked his hands through his hair. "I'm fine, okay James. You don't need to worry about me. I'm fine. I just, I don't know, but I'm fine."

"Sirius, you will bloody tell me what the hell is happening with you!" James demanded. "I haven't seen you in weeks. You barely leave the office. I know Fudge has been a bastard, but that's not it, is it!"

"James, it doesn't matter okay," Sirius said quietly.

"Yes, it does! It bloody matters when it's killing my best friend!"

"James, please-"

"Sirius, please tell me what it is. I want to help you."

Sirius looked out over Heddon's Mouth and the Bristol Channel beyond. The fierce westerly wind whipped his hair round his face. "I'm a Horcrux," he finally said.

"What?"

"I've written my Will, its split between you, Lily, Harry, Remus, Tonks and a couple of charities."

"Sirius, I don't understand. What the hell are you talking about? Will? Are you ill?" James exclaimed desperately.

"James, you bloody well know what I'm talking about," Sirius snapped back. "I am a Horcrux."

"What?! No, I don't understand what you are talking about!"

"James, please," Sirius pleaded, turning away. "Please Prongs, listen to me."

"Okay."

Sirius covered his face with his hands for a moment. "In order to destroy Voldemort, I have to die."


	27. Chapter 27

A huge thank you to Ambush99 for doing a such a great job betaing this chapter.

 **Chapter 27**

"What?" James managed to stagger out. "Sirius?" He watched his friend's silent and still figure for a moment. "How long have you known?"

"A few months," came the quiet reply.

"What? Why?" James managed again, his thoughts and emotions swirling like a dangerous storm. "Moody?" He finally concluded. He watched his friend slowly nod. "But, I, I don't understand. How? Why?"

"I, look it doesn't matter," Sirius said distantly.

"Doesn't matter?!" James exploded. "What the fuck?! Like the hell it doesn't matter!"

"Please James, just let me go. Just accept it, please," Sirius pleaded, as he started to walk away.

"NO! No, I won't bloody accept it. You're not going to fucking die, I won't allow it!"

"If I'm alive, then we cannot destroy Voldemort. You know what he's like, you know what he will do. We, I can't allow that to happen. James, there are innocent people out there. Innocent people who do not deserve to be tortured and murdered by that bastard. We must stop him, and I am standing in the way. I have to go, I have to die."

"No Sirius," James said desperately, blinking as the wind stung his eyes. "No mate, there has to be another way."

"Do you think I fucking like it?! Do you think I fucking like having a bit of that bastard's soul embedded in me?" Sirius half yelled, half sobbed. "Do you think I want to die? I, I, please James, it's hard enough as it is. I just, I can't cope with anything else right now. Please let it be."

"Come on, let's go."

"James," Sirius said trailing off.

"Mate, if two old friends can't enjoy a beer or two together, then, well then we are truly fucked," James said with a smile. "Come on, let's go back to mine. Lily's at a friend's so we have the place to ourselves. We can have a beer and you can laugh at me cooking."

"We'll starve."

"You wound me, you wound me greatly," James joked, as he leant back, placing his hand over his heart. "I'll have you know I can cook now."

"Really? You burn pasta!"

"No, I can cook now!"

"What, you've graduated from serving it vaguely cooked."

"Well, yes that's about the sense of it," James said as he patted his friend's shoulder, wincing slightly when he felt the tension. "Come on, let's go."

"James-"

"We'll figure it out Padfoot, we'll figure it out with a beer or two. It's going to be okay." The two friends walked in silence as they made their way off the gorse-covered headland into the dimly lit village. A place that held so many memories, so many happy ones and now, it held one of the darkest of memories. James wanted to yell. He wanted to shout and smash stuff, but he knew he couldn't. Sirius was holding it together for everyone else, he needed to hold it together for Sirius.

"Beer?" James said as they walked into the house. He watched Sirius slowly nod before his friend returned his eyes to the ground. Quickly grabbing two cool beers from the fridge, he stepped back into the living room. Leaning against the door frame, he took a moment to collect his thoughts. In the flickering light from the fire, he could visibly see the strain on his friend's face. He could see the tension in his body, as he stood, wound tighter than a coiled spring.

"Hey," he said softly, handing a beer to his friend.

"What, sorry thanks," Sirius managed, taking the beer with a shaking hand.

"You okay mate?"

"Yeah, fine. I'm fine mate," Sirius replied. The beer slipped from his shaking hand, smashing on the floor around them. "Shit! Sorry James. I'm so sorry."

"Sirius it's just a stupid beer, don't worry about it," James reassured. "Why don't you sit? I'll sort this out."

"James, I'm"

"It's just a beer Sirius, don't worry about it. Now sit down before you fall down." He shook his head as he watched his friend collapse onto the sofa, letting his head fall into his hands. Quickly he cast the incantation to clean up the smashed beer and summoned another. "Want to talk about it?"

"What's that going to do?" Sirius replied, his voice muffled from behind his hands.

"I don't know, but it can't be any worse than this."

"What do you want to know?"

"I don't mind, what do you want to talk about?"

"I don't know."

"How about," James started. He sighed and rested his hand on the back of his friend's neck. "I don't know, how about how you became a horcrux?"

Sirius rubbed his face with shaky hands. "When Voldemort tried to kill me." He stopped and took a hesitant breath. "When he cast the killing curse at me and it rebounded, well. Well, our, the theory is his soul was so unstable from creating the other horcruxes that, when the killing curse rebounded, the last remaining part of his fragmented soul latched onto the nearest living thing available."

"You," James interjected. He watched his friend nod. "How did you find out you were..." He stopped and shook his head. "No, you are not a horcrux, you're still Sirius, you just happen to have a horcrux in you."

"Like Moony happens to have a furry problem each month?"

"Precisely."

"No, I have a part of Voldemort's fucking soul in me! And I." Sirius stopped and looked down again.

"And what mate?"

"I, I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'm sorry James, I just can't," Sirius said in a near whisper.

"It's alright mate, we'll figure it out," James reassured him as he draped an arm around Sirius' shaking shoulders. "It'll be okay."

Sirius nodded. "I know, I may not like the endgame, but I know it has to happen."

"No, we'll find a way to remove the horcrux. We are already looking into dealing with the snake. I'll talk to Remus."

"No!"

"What? Mate, Moony is good. He's working with us, not against us. He would never betray us, you can trust him."

"I know," Sirius said slowly. He ran a shaky hand through his hair. "I do trust him, I just." He sighed, and took a hesitant breath. "I just feel, I don't know but, just sick knowing the bastard's soul is embedded in me. I just don't want people to know."

James nodded. "I understand. We can still ask him about removing the horcrux from the snake. The theory and method has to be similar."

"That's if it's possible. Do you think, well, I don't want to hurt Moony's feelings, I don't want him to think we don't trust him, because that's not the case," Sirius said, as he picked a loose thread on his shirt.

"He'll understand. I'm sure he'll feel a bit hurt but, at the end of all of it, he'll understand." James watched his friend's sunken form for a moment. "Many years ago there was a man, fighting in a terrible war. The warlord threatened his family, he was terrified, he couldn't see the wood for the trees. Then his best friend sat him down and told him what he needed to do. Mate, it's about time I repaid that favour."

"James, you don't-"

"Yes I do. It's what friends do for each other. It's what family does for each other."

"Okay."

"Right. Do you enjoy working at the auror's office? Do you enjoy being the boss?" James said determinedly.

"Scares the crap out of me, but yes I do."

"Well, good because you're bloody good at it. So, we can strike that one off the list."

"What list?" Sirius said frowning.

"Quiet now young Sirius."

"I'm older than you."

"Fine," James replied with a slight grin. "Do you enjoy working with and heading up the Order?"

"I wish I didn't have to, but then I wish we weren't at war. I like being able to take action and doing everything I can to defeat the bastard!"

"Again, you're bloody fantastic at it. So, we'll strike that one off the list. See, we're getting somewhere," James said grinning.

"Mate, I've no idea where you're going with this," Sirius said, leaning back against the sofa.

"Wait, I'm getting there. Now Fudge. If I thought beating the crap out of him would help, believe me I would have done it months ago. Unfortunately, with your job, you cannot avoid him. We just need to figure out how to minimise his impact on you. So, no more martyrdom," James said, looking Sirius in the eye.

"But we need to distract him from the Order. If he attacks me, then he'll remain blinded to the Order," Sirius countered.

"No, that's bullshit," James swore. "Fudge will just have to find some other person to attack. You have enough to contend with without Fudge attacking you."

"Fine," Sirius replied, letting his head fall into his hands again. "What else do you have on your list?"

"Your living arrangements."

"What?"

"You need to move out of there. It isolates you, and in times like these with what's happening, that's, well it's a shit idea. Then you have all of those memories that dump has, add in your mother's bloody portrait and that damn house elf. Mate, I'm worried about you."

"What do you suggest?" Sirius said in a near whisper.

"Move out. I know you don't want to sell the place because you think the Order could use it, and I agree with you." James stopped for a moment and sighed. "Moony has gone through the Will with a fine toothed comb and it's rock solid. You don't have to live there. You won't be renouncing your title if you move out, it will still be yours."

"Then where do I go?"

"You can stay at mine," James started, quickly holding his hands up as he saw Sirius about to interject. "And I know you won't and I know you want privacy, and I respect that. So, how about we look into houses around here? Lily, Harry and I are here. Mum and dad are. You've got friends here."

"Sure, whatever you say."

"Good," James said nodding. He leant back against the sofa and sighed. "I don't know about you, but I really cannot be arsed to cook right now. Shall we go to the pub?"

"Good, because I don't fancy being poisoned," Sirius said with a sly grin.

"Piss off you idiot, I'm telling you, I can cook," James said as he walked towards the door.

"Sure you can," Sirius laughed, following his friend out of the house.

"Busy for Thursday night," James observed as they pushed their way into the pub. "Grab a table if you can mate, I'll grab the drinks."

Sirius made his way through the crowd and miraculously found a free table. Sitting down he let his hair fall over his face, and pulled out a book, hoping no one would recognise him. He didn't want or need the questions right now. He didn't mind background chatter; in fact it was quite comforting. He looked down as he felt something nudge his thigh. "Hello boy," he said as he patted the large, black deerhound's head. "What are you doing here? Where's your owner?"

"Cheers mate," James said as he tucked two menus under his arm, and carefully manoeuvred through the crowd. He frowned as he approached the table. Was his friend really that stupid?! "Padfoot," he growled. "What the fuck are you doing?!"

"What?" Sirius said, sitting up. "Mate, I was just picking up a pen from the floor." He watched his friend's eyes slide from him to the dog, and then back to him. "What? Wait, this is what I look like when I transform?"

"Yeah," James said, as he slowly sat down, still eyeing the dog and his best friend. "It's fucking creepy. The dog is like; well it's like Padfoot's twin."

"And I thought I was the one who was supposed to have gone round the bend!" Sirius joked, taking the beer from his friend. The dog's head remained resting in his lap,as its tail wagged.

"I still can't believe your animagus form is a bloody deerhound!"

"What?"

"Deerhound! Padfoot, what's my animagus form?"

"Oh, well it could be worse; I could be a wolfhound."

"Ha! Better if you were a Chihuahua."

"Really?! With this body," Sirius exclaimed, waving his hands over his body. "Anyway, what bloody use would a Chihuahua be against a werewolf?"

"Still, a deerhound?"

"Get over it mate," Sirius laughed. "Anyway mate, why is it so busy on a Thursday night?"

"Mr and Mrs Clarke are leaving for Peru," James informed.

"Clarke? Why does that name ring a bell?" Sirius asked.

"Their son Ben was murdered along with his wife Nancy and two year old son, Josh," James explained.

"Fuck," Sirius exclaimed. "I remember now, it had all the indications of a death eater attack. My department isn't dealing with the case. We have offered the hit wizards our support, but they haven't taken it as of yet. It's so fucking sick. I know he was rumoured to be an unspeakable, but to murder his family, to kill a defenceless child! I fucking hate these bastards!"

"Lancelot!" A voice broke through the crowd.

Sirius watched the dog raise an ear and cock its head. "Mate, I think that's you," he said, grinning at the dog.

"Mrs. Clarke," James said standing up. "Great turnout. You remember my friend Sirius."

"Of course," Mrs. Clarke said smiling, taking Sirius' hand. "I see you have met my dog. I hope he didn't bother you."

"Not at all," Sirius said, as he shook her hand. "I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thank you," Mrs. Clarke said. She looked Sirius up and down and smiled. "I haven't seen Lancelot this happy and relaxed in, well since Ben was murdered. I work with magical creatures and well, ordinary animals. I've tried everything I could for him, but he seemed, well depressed. He was there when Ben was murdered, I think. I know this sounds stupid but I think he blames himself for what happened to Ben, Nancy and Josh. But he seems to love you."

Sirius looked down and smiled, as he scratched the dog's ears. "He's a beautiful dog."

"He is," Mrs. Clarke said slowly. "I could never bond with Lancelot, in any case he's a young person's dog."

"Mrs. Clarke what are you doing with your cottage?" James interjected.

"We are going to shut it up. Ideally we'll find a house sitter but, I'm sorry, I'm a bit particular about who lives there."

"Well, Sirius is looking for somewhere to live around here," James added nervously.

"James," Sirius said quietly, holding his hand up.

"Sirius, is this true?"

"Yes, but I apologise that James has placed you in this imposition."

"A son of Fleamont and Euphemia, a man who runs the Auror department, a man who has consciously stood against you-know-who and a man who Lancelot instantly bonded with, well, Sirius it is yours if you want it."

"Mrs. Clarke, please there are many considerations to take into account," Sirius said slowly. "Legal ramifications. Contract law. Umm, I don't know. But this is your house."

"Sirius, I am well aware of that. How about you come round tomorrow and if you like it, it's yours."

"That would be great," James said quickly before Sirius had a chance to respond. "He'll owl you tomorrow with a time."

"I look forward to it. I'm sorry, it seems my absence has been noticed. It has been nice chatting to you boys and I look forward to your owl Sirius," Mrs. Clarke said, as she turned from the table and headed back to the party. "Come on Lancelot, let's leave these gentlemen in peace."

Sirius watched her and the reluctant dog walk away before he spoke. "James, what the fuck was that about?" he hissed.

"She wanted a house-sitter. You need a house. I merely brokered the deal," James said with a shrug.

"I can't do tomorrow."

"Why not?" James said airily, as he started to read through the menu.

"I don't know, maybe work!"

"Sirius, when was the last time you took a day off?" James asked, putting down the menu.

"I don't know, I don't-"

"You don't know because I don't think you have taken a day off. Do you ensure your subordinates take days off?"

"Of course."

"Then I think it's high time you started to follow your own advice. Take the day off, I'm going to do the same. We'll look at the house. If you like it, I'll help you move in. If not, I'll help you look at other properties."

"James…"

"No, don't give me that crap. Things need to change for you and we worked out the one thing we could change easily was your living arrangements. Now shut up and bloody choose what you're going to eat, I'm starving."

"You always are," Sirius joked. "How about the venison pie?"

"You are a sick individual Sirius Black."


	28. Chapter 28

As always, a massive thank you to Ambush99 for betaing this chapter!

Wow, chapter 28 and nearly 80,000 words. I honestly never thought this fic would be this long and there is still a lot more to come! Thanks to everyone who has reviewed, followed and favoured. I hope you enjoy this instalment!

 **Chapter 28**

He sat on the floor, surrounded by books and pieces of parchment, and smiled as he re-read the note.

 _Mate,_

 _I'm bored. I'll come over to yours later and drag Moony with me. It's been a while since we were all together. Please transform! It'll totally freak him out when he sees you and Lancelot._

 _See you later,_

 _James_

After the evening in the pub a couple of weeks ago, he had agreed to see Mrs. Clarke's house, or rather James had dragged him there. It was on one of the side streets leading out of the village, backing onto the common. Reluctant at first, the place quickly grew on him and he found himself agreeing to rent it from her. Before he knew it he had agreed to adopt her dog, Lancelot. She had said he needed a young person to walk and run with him, and he, Sirius, was the perfect person. Which led him to his current situation: leaning against the sofa, attempting to write the doctrine, whilst Lancelot jabbed his wet nose into his neck.

"I've already fed you boy," he said, reaching behind him and scratching the dog's ears. "It's just you and me, so you can't pull that trick on me."

His ears pricked at the sound of two familiar voices. "Bene servetur," he said, as he lazily flicked his wand at the parchment and directed it to a secret cabinet. "Showtime boy," he said with a grin. The first time he transformed in front of Lancelot, the dog had been mildly bewildered. But this bewilderment quickly gave way to excitement, the two deerhounds spending hours running in wild circles in the large garden at the back of the property. Sirius had thought at first it would be easy, after all his human form was pretty fit and his animagus form was used to taking on a fully grown werewolf, but god was he wrong. However, as the days went on he became fitter and fitter. That, coupled with picking Lancelot up each time they apparated. He had taken to taking Lancelot to work with him. He knew the dog had a massive calming influence on him, and he hoped it would have the same influence on his colleagues.

"How is he?" Remus asked, as they walked down the road towards the house. "I was getting really worried about him. I thought, well…"

"You thought he was going to have a breakdown? Yeah," James sighed. "You and me both. No, he's good, really good. The place has done wonders for him."

"How did you persuade him to move out?" Remus asked, as they turned down the garden path leading towards the cottage.

"Well if you hit a block of wood with a blunt chisel enough times, eventually it'll get through," James said as he knocked on the door. "Yo mate! We're here. I've brought beer and mum's steak pie."

"Wait, you're just going to walk in there? What about security?" Remus exclaimed as he reluctantly followed his friend in.

"Mate, this is Sirius. He has some seriously impressive wards around here. Shit I've never seen before. He's upped the wards around my place, our parents and several others. He's going to do the same with you. Anyway, forget it. Let's not think about the war now, let's pretend we are eighteen again, and messing around."

"Padfoot," Remus said shaking his head as he eyed the deerhound in front of him. He frowned as an identical dog appeared. "Mate, what the hell is happening!"

"What?" James said innocently.

"I'm seeing double!" Remus said, utterly bewildered. "What?" he growled as he watched James cracking up.

"Your face!" Sirius laughed, as he transformed, almost doubling up as he looked at his friend's face.

"You utter bastards, the both of you!" Remus growled, his eyes glaring at his friends. He took a moment to look at his friend properly. After Sirius returned, at first he had looked terrible; a thin, wasted wretch of his former self. As the weeks and months went on, he had gained weight and grown stronger and fitter. But the strain on his face and the haunted look in his eyes had never left him. It seemed to add years to him. But now, he looked young again, his eyes were bright and full of life. His grin was wide, and spread across his face. His gestures were big and wild, it was almost as if he was twenty again.

"Sorry Moony," Sirius said, grinning broadly as he hugged his friend like a long lost brother. "I just had to. You should have seen James when I first met Lancelot, that's his name by the way, he freaked out and I hadn't even transformed!"

"Lancelot?"

"Yeah, my dog. He's nervous about meeting new people," Sirius said noticing the dog's reluctance.

"Or he can sense the wolf."

"He probably can. Like he sensed Padfoot."

"But you're the same bloody breed!" Remus exclaimed.

"And a dog's genealogy is derived from a wolf at some point, so what's the problem?"

"It's not the same!"

"You think too much, Moony," Sirius said as he bent down and scratched behind the dog's ears, seemingly whispering to it. "Go on then," he gestured to Remus.

Remus held out a hesitant hand, allowing the dog to sniff it. Watching the dog wag his tail, he took this as a sign it was okay to pat Lancelot.

"I told you he was a good judge of character," James said as he leant against the wall. "He always growls at Fudge."

"Really?" Remus replied, scratching behind Lancelot's ears. Watching his friends nod, he found himself grinning. "You're a good boy then. We don't like that pompous twat."

"That he is," Sirius said with a soft smile. "Shall we head outside? We've got to enjoy these evenings whilst we still have them."

"Of course," Remus said guardedly.

"Because we live in England and it's September," Sirius said shaking his head. "Before you know it, it'll be dark and raining the whole time." He stopped and lobbed a tennis ball as hard as he could.

"He's faster than you," James observed, watching Lancelot fly across the ground after the ball.

"Piss off," Sirius joked. "Anyway Moony, what are you doing next moon?"

"Well," Remus started. He watched as his two friends exchanged meaningful glances. "No, it's too dangerous."

"What, more dangerous than when we were a couple of fifteen year olds roaming the grounds?" James stated.

"I've built wards around the garden; no one will see or hear us. You won't be able to escape."

"What about you?"

"I don't know about Prongs, but I had my mandatory medical the other day and I've never been fitter or healthier than I am right now."

"What about, I don't know," Remus said, flabbergasted.

"Lancelot will stay at James' and Lily's."

"What?"

"If he sees the wolf attack Padfoot, he'll attack the wolf. Just like he'll attack anyone who attacks me. It's his instinct, someone is threatening his pack," Sirius said simply, as he picked up the ball Lancelot had dropped at his feet and lobbed it down the garden again. "Just as I would do if someone attacked him, you, James, Lily, Harry or Mum and Dad, because they are my family."

"So, it's settled. You'll be here on Wednesday. Face it Moony this will be the most sensible and safest of moons we would've done," James said, grinning as he watched his friend slowly nod. "Yup, definitely faster than you," he stated as he watched Lancelot seemingly glide across the ground.

"Guys, I don't like it. I don't want you to be in danger because of me!"

Sirius laughed. "You're kidding me, right? Voldemort wants to kill me personally. This has pissed off my cousin to no end, as she wants to do it. The only thing stopping her is it will kill off the slim chance she has of sleeping with the bastard. Malfoy wants me dead because he hates my guts and he thinks if I'm dead the title will go to his son. What the stupid bastard doesn't know is I've named Harry as my heir. Who else wants me dead? Basically every single death eater. Voldemort wants James dead because some deranged seer dreamed up a prophecy naming a child born at the end July as his equal. Then Dumbledore, in his divine wisdom, thought he was referring to Harry. Bingo, Harry, at not even a year old, is on his hit list. So risk? Do you really want to have that conversation with me?"

"Sirius, I'm sorry okay. Just with everything going on-"

"You need your friends. Yes, I know, you told me enough times and I know it took a while but eventually-"

"Eventually we got through that thick skull of his," James cut in. "So don't you even consider locking yourself away in that shack up north! We dealt with a werewolf when we were fifteen for fuck's sake."

"The wolf is bigger now! It's stronger!"

"Obviously," Sirius said rolling his eyes. "And you know what, so are we. I've never been as fit and as strong as I am right now. Isolating yourself is the worst thing you can do, trust me on that. How many times did you tell me to move out of that house, to move near family and friends? I know this will sound hypocritical from me, but it's high time you listened to your own advice. Believe me it is the best thing I did."

"Okay," Remus said quietly.

"Good, now we've got that settled, who wants a beer?" James said standing, handing his friends a couple of bottles. "I'm sorry if it came across harsh, but we're worried about you mate. We've seen what the wolf does to you if it's left alone, and we're not going to let that happen."

"Thank you," Remus said slowly. He looked down to see Lancelot's head resting in his lap.

"He wants you to throw the ball for him," Sirius suggested. He watched his friend throw the ball down the garden. "Mate," he said shaking his head. "We really need to work on that throw of yours."

"Piss off Padfoot, your dog's faster than you," Remus countered with a slight grin.

* * *

He opened his eyes slowly. He knew it had been a full moon last night, but somehow it didn't feel like he had transformed. Firstly, he wasn't lying on a cold, hard floor, covered in his own blood. He looked down at his body, apart from the bandage around his forearm, and his shoulder aching, he felt fine. Well, sure he felt tired but, all things considered, he felt okay. He sat up slowly and rubbed his face, allowing his senses to slowly wake up. The wolf ears picked up a radio in the background, playing rock music. He frowned as he tried to figure out where he was. His memories after transformations were always hazy at best. Rock music could only mean one person. Tonks liked her Indie music. James liked metal. Whilst Sirius had always been banging on about the latest rock band, whether it be wizard or muggle.

Standing up, he took a moment to test his strength. It was a little on the weak side after a transformation, but this time it didn't seem to be as bad as normal. Sensing he wasn't going to pass out anytime soon, he made his way downstairs.

"Remus," Sirius said looking up. "How are you, mate?"

"Good," Remus said, almost not quite believing himself. "Fuck, Sirius! Your arm!"

"What?! That?" Sirius said pointing to the scratch marks on his upper arm. "It's nothing."

"No, I-" Remus started.

"No," Sirius cut in. "The wolf did it and anyway the bruise on your shoulder is worse. I'm sorry about that. As I said, Padfoot is a lot stronger. The wolf was getting out of control and Padfoot had to knock him down. After that I think the wolf recognised Padfoot and Prongs, because it was fine."

"I'm sorry all the same," Remus said shaking his head. "But we're not schoolchildren anymore. You could've been hurt!"

"See this scar here," Sirius said pointing to the still livid and deep scar on his arm. "That's from my cousin. I think I said Voldemort thought a Muggle was hotter than her, it obviously pissed her off. This one here," he said as he pulled up his shirt and pointed to the jagged scar on his rib cage, "is from my dear mother. A pure goblin silver dagger apparently. She was attempting to bleed the evil from me. By evil she meant my beliefs that muggles, half-bloods, werewolves etc are witches and wizards and are equal. This one here," he said, lifting up his hair to reveal a long, pink scar running along his skull. "Well that was from Voldemort. He was a little bit annoyed I wouldn't tell him where James was. Stupid bastard, as if I'd betray my friends. I've got numerous others, some I have no recollection of getting, but none were from the wolf. After I got back, you were always there for me, I'm never going to forget that."

"You turned into animagi for me!" Remus countered.

"Yeah, because that's what friends do for each other. Anyway, once we establish neither of us is going to rip the other's head off, after that it's good fun."

Remus nodded, finding a small smile growing on his face. "I know, it is. I just, well I don't like the fact you two put yourselves in danger because of me."

"Mate, believe me I understand. I hate having to send people into harm's way, but it's my job. I know there may be a time I will have to sacrifice the few to save the many. When that time comes, I don't think I'll be the right person to make the decision," Sirius said shaking his head, as he placed a mug of steaming tea in front of his friend. "You and I have been exposed to the true horrors of this world. We know and understand what that sacrifice involves. Others, that includes James, well they haven't and I don't want them to be. James does his best to understand, but he can't. I'll do everything in my power to prevent people from being exposed to those horrors. And if getting a little bit banged up every month draws those horrors a little further from your door, then I'll do it."

"How did you and I become friends?" Remus said smiling. "I mean our backgrounds couldn't more different."

"You seemed kind and had a great sense of humour. Plus we were both looking for escape; you from the wolf and I from my family," Sirius said simply. "Anyway, mate you must be starving. What do you want to eat? I can heat up some sausages, add bacon, beans, a couple of eggs. A proper breakfast. How does that seem?"

"It sounds great! Thanks, Sirius."

Remus leant back and stretched. The breakfast had been fantastic and it seemed to have somehow eased his aches. "Mate, that was amazing. Thank you!""

"Don't worry about it," Sirius said, barely looking up from the paperwork.

"Sirius, what are you working on? Order stuff?" Remus said frowning, looking over at his friend.

"God, no nothing that exciting," Sirius said, waving his hand. "Budget review. The part I hate about being the boss."

"Oh, sorry Sirius I didn't mean to ask," Remus said quickly.

Sirius looked up. "What do you mean?"

"It's just, well it's Ministry, and I. Well, my kind, they-"

"What the fuck Remus?! Seriously mate, what the hell!"

"I know you don't care, but the Ministry…"

"Actually Remus, I need your help. You are far better at this numbers and legal stuff than I am," Sirius said, as he got up and walked over to his friend. "What the hell do I do with all of this?!" he exclaimed, gesturing at the paperwork. "I've been looking at it for hours and I still cannot make any sense of it!"

"Sirius, I cannot. I don't have the clearance."

"Well I am giving it to you. Please Remus, I need your help!" Sirius pleaded.

"Okay," Remus said, as he started to go through the paperwork. "It seems to be pretty robust."

"I guessed that, but you know there are going to be budget cuts!"

"That's when, my friend, you need to look outside your budget," Remus said with a sly smile.

"What?"

"Your current budget covers everything. Sure, you could do with a bit more money, but who couldn't. This is when you look at this budget," Remus said as he pulled the leather bound, heavy set book towards him.

"Mate, that's the whole Ministry budget!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I know," Remus said slyly. He grinned. "We need to look at the little funds, the ones the Ministry puts to one side."

"Remus…"

"Hush now, young Sirius," Remus said, holding his hand up.

"You both realise I am older than you!"

"Ummm," Remus said, distractedly. "Ah! That should do it. The CP2N."

"The what?"

"The CP2N is, well it appears to be Ministry slush fund. It appears the Ministry are cutting a knut from each galleon, and swindling it into the 'CP2N' budget," Remus exclaimed.

"Okay, that's great but how the hell do we get access to it?"

"We ring fence it and divert the funds to your department."

"Okay, but surely Fudge will notice and shut the fund down. He'll just shut it down and start a new fund," Sirius said, as he started pacing. He grabbed the bag of dog food from the countertop and filled the bowl. "Lancelot, here boy." He smiled as the dog bounded in.

"You two make a good team," Remus commented.

"We do," Sirius replied, as he stroked the dog's back absentmindedly.

"When do you need this?"

"Monday," Sirius replied looking up. "Mate, you don't need to do this now. You had a rough night, just take a break or something."

"Sirius, I'm fine. It wasn't a bad transformation and I slept well. Plus." He stopped and sighed, running a hand through his greying hair. "I feel like I'm doing something useful."

"Moony? Mate, do you really feel like that?"

"Don't worry about it," Remus dismissed.

"Moony, you were there for me when I was rambling god knows what. You sat there and listened to me, when god knows what I was talking about. Talk to me, I'll listen," Sirius urged.

"Sirius this is different, you were traumatised!"

"Moony…"

"You and James have jobs, and that's, well, I wish I could do something like you two," Remus started.

"I know it doesn't help you, but you have a bloody good mind Remus and it's the Ministry's bloody loss. You are far brighter than me, and probably James as well, you just lacked confidence. I swear James and I got better grades because we had more flare, that's all. You are bloody smart, look what you are doing with this budget. I could never do this," Sirius said, as he patted Remus' shoulder. "Look Remus, how about you come and work with me?"

"I cannot step into the Ministry."

"And that is bloody stupid. But you don't need to."

"Sirius, I don't need your charity."

"It's not bloody charity. I need someone smart and outside the Ministry to review stuff, and I need that person to be someone I trust," Sirius said as he sat shoulder to shoulder with his friend. "I pay Dung for information. Every single Ministry department has people on the outside advising them."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Look, if, well let's assume for a moment Peter wasn't the traitorous bastard he was, I would have got him some job to help him out, but not with you. If our world didn't have this ridiculous prejudice against werewolves you would have a decent job within the Ministry." He looked up, hearing a ringing sound from the other room. "Bollocks, I've got a call on the floo network, I'll be back in a minute."

Remus watched his friend storm back into the room a few moments later. "Everything okay mate?"

"Fucking Fudge," Sirius swore. "The fucking bastard moved the budget meeting!"

"When?"

"A fucking hour from now."

"Then you'd better shut up and let me get on with this," Remus replied with a raised eyebrow. "Go play with Lancelot or something,"

"Right," Remus said handing the documents to his friend an hour later. "I've done the best I can in an hour. You just need him to sign this document."

"Isn't that coercion?" Sirius said as he took the paperwork from his friend and stuffed it into his bag.

"It's not coercion if he's too stupid not to read what he's signing," Remus said with a grin. "Now, you get to that review and get that bastard to sign it."

Sirius laughed. "Mate stay awhile, at the very least stay tonight. Make yourself at home. Watch some crap daytime tv or something."

"Go Sirius!" Remus laughed.

Sirius grinned. "Cheers mate. Come on Lancelot, let's go," he said, somehow managing to catch the deerhound as he ran and jumped at him. "See you later, mate," he managed, struggling to hold the dog, before disappearing on the spot.

He gently ruffled Lancelot's fur as they stepped off the Apparation point. "It wasn't that bad boy, was it?" He straighten up and nodded at the wizards stationed in the Apparation Room. "Morning."

"Good morning Mr. Black."

He lightly shook his head as he walked out the room. He still couldn't get used to people addressing him so formally. It had been months since Moody's death, yet he still kept looking around for the older man. Waiting for people to ask Moody the questions, not him.

"Allie," he said, addressing one of the department's newest recruits. "Good morning."

"Good morning," Allie replied, slightly nervously.

"I'm sorry we haven't had a chance to catch up this week, I've been rather slammed with this damn Ministry paperwork," Sirius explained.

"It's okay, I understand."

"Would Friday suit?"

"Friday would be great."

"Get it in my calendar before someone else does," Sirius said. "Oh, can you take Lancelot to my office, I've got the budget review meeting in a couple of minutes."

"Of course, but I thought the review wasn't until Monday," Allie replied, taking Lancelot's lead.

"It wasn't, but the Minister decided to move it forward to today."

"Oh, well good luck," Allie replied. Being Muggleborn her exposure to magical politics was somewhat limited. Her knowledge of the Minister was limited to her former classmates and current colleagues, none of whom held the Minister in high regard.

"Thanks," Sirius said, as he started to walk away. "I'll need it." He stepped into the lift and sighed. He was beginning to get used to the responsibilities that came with the role, and to some degree the politics, but the administration… well, he was utterly clueless. Why hadn't he thought of Moony before? The man was seriously intelligent and had the patience to deal with the infuriating, small details of the Ministry's policy and budget. A degree of patience he did not possess.

"Ah, Mr. Black. There's nothing to worry about, it's just a little budget review," Umbridge said in her sickly sweet voice.

Sirius had wondered how to handle himself in the review, but now he knew. If Umbridge and Fudge were going to treat him like a simple child, he would act oblivious to the inner workings of a budget review. "Thank you, that's so kind," he replied, adding a smile for good measure. "I don't really understand these review type things."

"Oh?" Fudge replied, barely able to contain his joy.

"I found some of the old paperwork and updated it to the best of my ability but, well as I said, I don't really understand how these budgets work," Sirius added, as he eased them into the trap.

"Well, we can just sign it off. I think that's best. These budgets are very complicated," Umbridge reassured.

"Oh thank you," Sirius replied, as he slid the paperwork over, setting the trap. He smiled as Umbridge and Fudge quickly scratched out their signatures without looking at the document.

"Now Mr. Black, if you'd just paid a teeny bit more attention, you would know we are making budget cuts. That means you will have less money, so you won't be able to buy as many things," Umbridge said in her sickly sweet voice.

"Oh I noticed."

"I thought you didn't know anything about budgets," Fudge started hesitantly.

"If I had patience I could probably figure it out, but instead I consulted people who knew about 'budgets', basically accountancy geniuses. They discovered the CP2N, you know the Ministry's slush fund. The one where you are cutting a Knut off each Galleon." He stopped and watched their reactions. "The document you just signed has channeled the funds to my department. The second document has ring fenced the funds for the next five years."

"But…" Fudge spat.

"As always, Minister, Ms. Umbridge, it's been a pleasure." He stood, nodding at each of them in turn before heading out the door.


	29. Chapter 29

As always, a huge thanks to Ambush99 for betaing this fic!

Hope you all enjoy this chapter!

 **Chapter 29**

"Pss, Sirius."

Sirius cocked his head slightly in the direction of the voice. "Dung."

"I've got the merchandise."

"Apparate to the location," Sirius said through the corner of his mouth. He sighed. He tried to avoid Grimmauld Place as much as he could, but its location, its protective wards and the opportunities it sometimes presented made it impossible. "Come on boy," he said to Lancelot, before apparating to the house. As he walked through the corridors he shivered. It didn't matter how much time he spent away from the place, it still made his skin crawl. He watched Lancelot for a moment. He'd never brought the dog to Grimmauld Place and, judging by his behaviour, he wouldn't do it again. The poor animal was clearly very uncomfortable in the house. "It's okay boy, we'll be out of here soon," he reassured the whimpering dog.

"Ah, there you are Sirius," Dung said, as he wandered into the kitchen, a heavy looking duffel bag slung over his shoulders. "Very nice, very nice indeed," he said as he looked around the room.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. "Dung…"

"Is this silver?" Dung asked, picking up and handling a plate.

"Yes, goblin made with the Black family crest," Sirius said with disinterest.

"Very nice indeed," Dung continued, as he held the plate up to the light for further examination.

"Dung, you said you had the 'merchandise'," Sirius cut in.

"What?" Dung said suddenly, almost dropping the plate. "Oh yes, I do, and it's in particularly good condition I might add," he said, putting down the plate and carefully unzipping the bag, as if he was showing several bars of gold.

Sirius stood up, taking a couple of long strides to Dung and the bag. He peered inside briefly before returning his attention to Dung. "So, what do we have?"

"Well Sirius, it was very hard to get hold of. Very hard indeed. The payment…"

"Dung, you cannot bullshit a bullshitter," Sirius cut in, in a calm voice which demanded respect. "I asked you, what do we have?"

"Ah well," Dung started, traces of ill-hid disappointment in his voice. "We have this fine weapon here," he said, pulling out the nearest handgun.

"Merlin, fuck!" Sirius swore, ducking and knocking the gun from his face. "Bloody watch where you're pointing that bloody thing!"

"Sorry about that, Sirius."

"It's fine. I tell you what, I'll take a look at these myself," Sirius said, as he grabbed the barrel and twisted the gun from Dung's hand, setting it down on the table.

"Of course. Err Sirius," Dung said quietly, as he rubbed his fingers together.

"Right," Sirius replied, digging his hand into his pockets, fishing around for a small bag. "This should adequately compensate you for your troubles."

Dung took the bag, and appeared to weigh it. "It appears a little, well light."

"You know I am paying well over the odds."

"But it's risky business, Sirius. I think I should be getting 'hazard pay'," Dung challenged.

"That mission was less dangerous that many other Order missions, I think you have been more than compensated," Sirius said, as he stood over the smaller man, using his height and well-built frame to intimidate him. "If this is too dangerous for you, that's fine. Go and buy some cauldrons that have fallen off the back of a broomstick or something," he said, flicking his fingers dismissively.

"No, no this is fine," Dung said, quickly snatching the bag.

"I trust you can find your way out."

"Of course. It's been a pleasure as always. Oh and Sirius, my apologies about earlier," Dung said trailing off.

"I've already forgotten about it," Sirius said distantly.

Sensing the conversation was over, Dung quickly slipped out of the room. Despite Sirius beginning several years below him at school, he had always tagged him as one not to be messed with, no more so than now. The Sirius at school had been talented and powerful for sure, but there had been an immature, slightly wild nature about him. But not now, the wild and immature nature had been replaced with a maturity far beyond his years, coupled with a calmness he only usually associated with Dumbledore.

Sirius looked down at the bag for a moment. This wasn't something he wanted to be caught with either in the Wizarding or the Muggle world. In the Wizarding world it would earn him a one-way ticket to Azkaban, without a trial no doubt. In the Muggle world he doubted it would be much better. He highly suspected he'd either be accused of illegal arms trading, looking to start a civil war or trying to overthrow the government. All of which he suspected warranted a lengthy custodial sentence. Maybe he was being paranoid, he probably was, but either way, walking around with a duffel bag full of guns wasn't a good idea.

He bent down and ruffled Lancelot's fur. "Come on, let's get out of here. I think you hate it as much I do." Without a further word, he slung the bag over his shoulders, picked up Lancelot and apparated on the spot.

"There you go, boy," Sirius said as he landed outside the cottage. He smiled as he watched the dog run away wildly, leaping at random. "I guess you're as happy as I am to get out of that place." He closed his eyes and took a breath. He may have only spent no more than half an hour in Grimmauld Place, but it still didn't stop it from gripping and tearing away mercilessly at his soul. He shook his head as he tried to clear his thoughts. As he became more comfortable with his role as Head of Department, he felt more comfortable about stepping away from the office. It wasn't as if he didn't trust his colleagues to do their jobs, far from it in fact; he was slowly realising it was quite normal to be away from the office. In any fact his key adversary, Fudge, was barely there: starting at the leisurely time of ten, taking a two-hour lunch before leaving at four.

He wandered into the kitchen, carefully placing the duffel bag on the table. What he was going to do with the guns he wasn't entirely sure; he knew he had to match and counter Voldemort at every turn. He wasn't even sure how to bloody use them, but he knew enough to know Dung's handling of them was a poor idea.

"Arthur Weasley," he said, throwing some powder into the fire.

"Good afternoon, Sirius," Arthur's head said from the fire.

"Arthur, do you have a few minutes now, or whenever you have the time; Dung has managed to pick up the 'merchandise'," Sirius asked softly, hoping no adversaries were listening into their conversation.

"Work is a little slow at the moment, so I could do it now," Arthur replied with a slight smile.

"That would be great," Sirius said, as he stood back to allow Arthur into the room. "Welcome."

"Thank you," Arthur said as he straightened up, dusting the soot off his robes. He took a moment to look around the room, frowning slightly.

"I used to live in London but I've moved to Godric's Hollow," Sirius said, answering Arthur's unspoken question.

"Sorry, I didn't mean pry," Arthur said quickly.

"No bother," Sirius said casually, waving his hand dismissively. "The garden here makes it a lot more convenient to test the merchandise. It may raise a couple of questions in a small back garden in central London."

"I'd imagine so. Have you had a look at them yet?"

"Apart from when Dung nearly took my head off with one, no," Sirius started. He watched Arthur's bemused expression. "The man can be an utter liability, but he's loyal to the cause and he's harmless, well most of the time."

Arthur nodded. "Sirius, if you're expecting me to be an expert…" he said trailing off.

"No, no, not at all. I'm just hoping you have more knowledge than I," Sirius said as he walked into the kitchen. "Well, this is what Dung managed to get hold of."

Arthur took a look for a moment. "Do you think, well you-know-who will…"

"Resort to Muggle weapons? Honestly, I have no idea but I'm not leaving any stone unturned."

"When do you think it will happen?"

Sirius stopped and ran a hand over his face. How did he explain he could feel Voldemort was growing in power without revealing he was a Horcrux? A fact that was deeply personal. A fact only one other living person knew. "I think it'll only be a matter of months, if we are lucky," he said finally. "There is every indication he is growing in strength. He has recalled all of his key lieutenants. He is readying for war." He sighed. If he could just remember key details about his time as a hostage, then maybe he could locate Voldemort's stronghold. He was certain they were the same place. But the mere thought of that place threatened to reduce him to a shaking, vomiting wreck.

"I know it doesn't seem it at times, but you are doing a good job, Sirius. A lot of people believe in you," Arthur reassured. "How are my sons helping?"

"Their information and assistance is invaluable," Sirius said earnestly. "Their knowledge and connections abroad, well, I cannot even begin to explain how helpful they will be."

"What do you plan to do with this information?" Arthur asked curiously.

"I am devising an evacuation policy for the Muggleborns. I have negotiated places at the other, foreign magical schools for all of the Muggleborn kids. I hope they'll be safer there," Sirius said quietly, as he slowly shook his head. "I hope they will be anyway, because if they aren't…" He trailed off and found himself looking down at the floor again.

"You are a good man, Sirius Black, you really are. You will bring honour to the Black family," Arthur said, as he watched the other man. At barely ten years older than Bill, this man was taking on the fate of the wizarding world.

Sirius sighed, and almost laughed. "Maybe, but I never really felt like a Black. I never fitted in with their ideals."

Arthur paused for a moment, as he pondered his next question. "When did you…"

"When did I realise my family were raving mad, cruel, bigoted bastards?" Sirius answered. He took a breath and thought for a moment. "When I was five," he finally answered. "Being their first born, their heir, I was always treated as an asset. I didn't realise it at the time, but that's all I was to them, something to continue the pureblood line. My life up to then was a series of carefully structured lessons, society parties and play dates with carefully selected members of the sacred twenty-eight. But then there was one afternoon in June, I think. It had been really hot for days; I remember looking out the window and seeing these kids. They were kicking what I now know is a football and running under a burst water main. They looked," Sirius paused again. "They looked happy, they looked free. The house was sweltering, I just couldn't help myself, so I ended up joining them. My mother, well to say she wasn't pleased is putting it mildly. I lost count of how long the lecture she gave me was, of how muggles were filth and should be killed." He paused again, as he glossed over all of the details. "A few weeks later my cousin Andromeda babysat and I talked to her about it. We went shopping in Muggle London, I met Ted, her boyfriend, now husband. The rest you could say is history. The rest of my family are death eaters."

Arthur nodded, not really knowing what to say. He'd asked what, on reflection, had been a very personal question, and he was surprised by the in-depth answer he had received. "My family, we are committed to the cause against you-know-who." He paused for a moment before continuing. "Well there's Percy…"

"He's nineteen and exploring who is he and what he wants from the world. He's not a bad kid; he'll be alright. You don't need to worry about him. Whatever happens, I'll ensure he's safe."

"Sirius?"

"He'll be fine Arthur, I promise he'll be safe. I swear on my life I will not let anything happen to him," Sirius said, returning his attention to the bag of weapons. "Shall we?"

* * *

"Mr. Black, these plans are ridiculous!" Fudge exclaimed, his eyes flashing menacingly.

"I know they'll be a minor inconvenience whilst we set them up, but I do feel they are necessary," Sirius said calmly.

"Why? Because you think there's going to be a war?!" Fudge laughed.

"Yes," Sirius replied, still in a calm voice. "Minister, please, whilst we still can. Please let my department establish our defences."

"Mr. Black, there isn't going to be a war, it's just a figment of your deranged mind. I think you actually want us to be at war," Fudge bit back.

Sirius ran a hand over his face. "No, god no," he whispered. "I do not want war. I would go to any lengths I can to prevent this war, but I cannot see any other option."

"It is ridiculous Mr. Black. You-know-who is dead. He died years ago. And your claim he has returned is as deranged as your mind," Fudge sneered, his eyes boring into the other man.

Sirius shook his head. "Fine, but at the very least let me speak to Dumbledore. We at the very least can add protection at the school."

"Why?"

"Because they are children. They are innocent, they do not deserved to be harmed or affected by this war!"

"There is no war!" Fudge growled.

"Fine," Sirius said, holding up his hands. "Fine, if that's what you want, Minister."

"Yes it is, and I would rather you didn't bother me anymore with these ridiculous requests. Good day to you and please show yourself out," Fudge snapped. "I have some important business to attend to!"

"Of course," Sirius growled. He knew he could argue with the Minister but it would be fruitless, he'd just have to ensure the Ministry and Hogwarts were secured without the Minister's consent. Without a further word he left the room.

"Mate?"

Sirius looked up and found a smile for his friend, who had Lancelot on a lead. "James."

"Fudge?" James asked. He watched his friend nod. "Let's get out of here."

Sirius took a moment to inhale the aroma of damp leaves, as they landed in his back garden. "He's such a fucking twat!" he swore, as he started to pace up and down.

"So, he didn't agree with your plan?"

"Oh no, Mr. Black, there's no such thing as war," Sirius snapped, mimicking Fudge's voice.

"Fuck," James swore. "Seriously?! And even if you are wrong, which I don't think for a moment you are, what harm would it do? It would be a minor inconvenience for a couple of days whilst you guys set it up. That's it. What the hell is he bloody thinking?" He paused and looked up at his friend. "Yeah, I know the bastard doesn't bloody think!"

"It fucking pisses me off! He's not even letting me talk to Dumbledore about adding defences to Hogwarts! It's a school for god's sake!"

"But you are blatantly going to ignore that one, aren't you?"

Sirius shot his friend a sly smile. "Of course. What the Minister doesn't know, can't harm me."

James laughed. "Somehow mate, we'll work around the Ministry."

"Errr, mate I think we already are. It's called the Order."

"Haha, yes very funny, smartass," James retorted. "Are you set for the next full moon tomorrow?"

"Yeah, I think it'll be easier this time. I mean, Remus knows the wolf cannot escape, and I think the wolf will recognise Padfoot and Prongs. It should be fun."

"Like old times," James said grinning.

"When we didn't have a care in the world," Sirius said distantly. "Mate, I need you to help me with something."

"Sure, whatever you want."

"I need you to help me remember," Sirius said quietly.

"Remember what?" James asked frowning.

"I need you to help me remember where I was held," Sirius said, looking away for a moment.

"What? Why?" James exclaimed.

"Because I think that's Voldemort's stronghold and..."

"No, no fucking way," James growled. "I swore I would find that place and burn it to the ground. You are never going to step foot in that place again."

"James?"

"You were dying and that's when I swore, you would never go back to place!"

"But, look I'm sorry okay. I never wanted any of my crap to hurt you," Sirius said in a near whisper.

"What? What the hell Sirius?! Mate, it wasn't your fault. You didn't choose to be kidnapped. You didn't choose to be held in that hellhole," James growled. "All you choose to do was to fight, and I am so glad you did. But I am not helping you find that place, and I am not going to let you ever step foot in that place again. In any case I don't think it's Voldemort's stronghold anymore. You escaped. How the hell does he know you can't remember it?! The closest you are ever going to get to that place is sitting on a boat, watching it burn to the ground."

"But if it helps…"

"No," James said shaking his head. "No way."

Sirius stopped and looked up at the moon. "Fine," he said shaking head. "Fine. Look, mate, I need to show you how to set up these wards."

"Sure mate, we have time," James said lightly.

"No, I need to show you how to set them up. We both know I am not going to survive this war. I need to know Remus will be safe. I need to know you will be safe," Sirius said desperately, as he resumed pacing.

"Sirius, what are you talking about?"

"After I'm gone, I need to know Remus will be okay. I don't want him to be forced to lock himself away in that shack up north. He shouldn't have to isolate himself. He should be with his friends and family. Please James, you have to listen to me," Sirius pleaded. He stopped pacing and looked up at the moon again. "Just please, James, please let me show you how to set up the wards."

"Okay," James said quietly, as he laid a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Sirius, what's happening?"

"We are going to be at war soon and I am not going to survive it…" Sirius said, tailing off. "I need to make sure everything is okay."

"You don't know you won't survive. We still might be able to remove the Horcrux," James said desperately. "There has to be a way to get rid of it."

"No mate," Sirius said shaking his head. "No, there is no way to remove it. We have gone through all the research and there's nothing."

"If you just let Remus know, then…"

"No, I don't want to burden him with it and I am sorry I burdened you with it, but we cannot remove the Horcrux," Sirius said in a near whisper, as he looked down at the ground. "I'm so sorry mate, I really didn't want to burden you with it, but so…"

"No, mate, I am glad you did. I hate Voldemort. I hate what he did to you. I hate that he fucking embedded his fucking soul into you. I am going to find a way to get it out of you," James said furiously, as he shook Sirius' shoulders. "Mate, we are going to find a way. I promise you!"

"James, mate this isn't something we can fix," Sirius said quietly, as he laid a hand on James' shoulder. "The only way we can discover if it is possible to remove the Horcrux is to create more of them and embed them into other living things. And I am not about to start subjecting other living beings to that. I can't, it makes me no better than Voldemort!"

"Okay Sirius, okay we won't do that. But I am sure we'll find a way."

"James, I am not going to survive this war. I don't want to die, but I don't have a choice. If I am alive, then so is Voldemort! And I cannot allow that to happen, just because of my selfish notion to remain alive. Please James you have to listen to me!" Sirius yelled, as he started pacing again. "For fuck's sake do you think I want to die?! No I fucking don't, but I have to."

"Okay, tell me how to create the wards. Remus will be fine."

"Thank you," Sirius exhaled. "I am going to give you all of my research on Lycanthropy. Between both of our research maybe we will find a cure, and Remus can have a normal life."

"That would be great," James said grinning.

"At some point Fudge will look for appeasement. He'll try and broker a deal with Voldemort, but Voldemort will break those terms. You cannot let Fudge look into negotiating those terms, if he does…." Sirius trailed off.

"Sirius what the hell is this all about? Why the hell are you being so final? We might have years!" James exclaimed. "We might…"

"James, we don't. Voldemort has been readying for war for months, and the final parts are falling into place." Sirius paused and took a breath. "We are going to be at war in a matter of weeks."

"Shit," James swore. "Fuck, I knew we were going to be at war, but I thought we had more time before it happened." He stopped and ran a hand through his hair, messing it up as he did. "Hell, let's forget about this for a bit, at least until after the next moon. Let's escape and pretend for a bit. I know it sounds pathetic but…." he trailed off.

"No James, it sounds a great idea. We spend our whole time trying to wrestle this beast. The thought of just, well, being free for one night. Just pretending we aren't at war and we are just kids again," Sirius said with a grin. "Get here for four tomorrow?"

"Sounds like a plan."

* * *

Sirius stuffed the last few things in the bag. Last night had been fun. It was almost as if they had been kids again at Hogwarts, with barely a care in the world. He had shown James and Remus how to set up the wards. He knew now that Remus would be safe during a full moon. He was at ease knowing one of his friends would be safe during the hardest times of his life. He had shared his Lycanthropy notes with James, hoping that at some point after the war a cure would be found for Lycanthropy and Remus would be free from it. He knew he would not be around to see it but at least his friend would be free from it.

"Hey boy, come here," Sirius called. He found a small, sad smile as he watched Lancelot trot up to him. He didn't want to leave him. The dog had done so much for him, but he couldn't take him where he was going. "James will be here soon. He'll look after you, I promise. I hate abandoning you, but I cannot take you with me. You don't deserve to watch another owner die." He bent down, burying his face in the dog's fur, as tears began to streak down his face.

He stood up, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. He bit his lip as he looked around the house. At the photos around the room. At the random pint glass he had taken from the pub when he'd been celebrating Remus' birthday. The memories of normality. The events he would never experience again. But it had to be this way. He carefully placed the note on the table before grabbing the bag and walking out the door. He could not look back. He was too afraid to. He knew if he did, he might not have the strength to do what he was about to do.


	30. Chapter 30

Huge thanks to Ambush99 for her continued support and amazing betaing skills!

 **Chapter 30**

"Sirius!" James yelled, as he bounded into the house. "So, what's the note about? Sirius?" He stopped and looked around the quiet and empty room.

"Mate?" he said frowning, pulling out his wand. "Sirius, are you okay mate?" He watched Lancelot pace around him, whining. "Hey boy, where is he? Where's the boss?" As if the dog understood his question, Lancelot took his sleeve and tugged it, pulling him towards the kitchen.

"You bastard, you utter bastard," James swore, spying the note addressed to him on the table. Taking the note with shaking hands, he collapsed into the nearby armchair.

 _James,_

 _I'm sorry I'm writing this in a note, but it's the only way. You know what I have to do. I cannot thank you and your family enough for what you have done for me. Words seem meaningless, they can't even begin to express my gratitude. So, to say I'm sorry like this, seems just as meaningless._

 _Lastly, could you look after Lancelot for me? I cannot take him where I am going and I don't want him to see me die. He's a great dog and deserves a good home. One I know you'll give him._

 _Thank you again,_

 _Sirius_

 _Once a Marauder, always a Marauder_

James exhaled sharply and let his head fall into his hands, his hand lightly closed around the note. "Mate," he whispered to the empty room. "Why? I would have gone with you. I would have gone with you to the end. You've already sacrificed so much. You shouldn't be alone for the final sacrifice. But why did you have to leave us with a shitty note?! You are the brains behind our offensive! Fuck!"

He stood up quickly and started pacing, as he re-read the note in his head. He knew why his friend had done it, but he couldn't help feeling a little anger towards him. He had left them with nothing. Just a sorry, thank you, look after my dog and finally signing it off with their childhood slogan. He stopped as he re-read the note again. "You little shite," James swore, as a small smile spread across his face. Taking the note, he tapped it with his wand. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

A thick, bound document began to grow from where the note lay. "Sirius," he whispered, fingering the book with shaking hands. He carefully skimmed through a few pages. He recognised his friend's neat, cursive handwriting, something that had probably been beaten into him as a child, he thought bitterly. Page after page of strategies: from diagrams of wars and battles he'd heard of, to events he never knew had taken place. He had always known his friend was smart, but until this moment he hadn't realised just how intelligent his friend was. He had left them with a doctrine for war. A battle plan. Something that would enable their fight against Voldemort.

He looked down as he felt Lancelot nudge him. "I know boy, he's gone. He didn't want you to get hurt, that's why he left you. I know I'm not him but I'll do my best," James said in a near whisper, as he scratched behind the dog's ears. "Sirius, what do I with this?" he said to the empty room. Feeling the dog nudge him again, he looked down and frowned. Bending down he picked up the thick, folded piece of parchment. With shaking hands he carefully unfolded it.

 _Prongs,_

 _If you are reading this then you've cracked the code. Ha! It wasn't exactly a hard one, but I just wanted some form of protection in place, just in case it fell into the wrong hands. As you've no doubt guessed, I've gone. My prediction we were weeks away from war was a best case scenario. I feel Voldemort will challenge the Ministry in the next week or so and I had to get going before that happened. I am at the top of both Voldemort's and the Ministry's hit list. I knew if I told you, you'd come with me, and you can't. You have a family to look after. I also needed someone I trusted to deliver the doctrine to the Order. I'm sorry I'm asking this of you but I didn't feel I had any other choice. You are the best friend anyone could ever ask for. You were there for me at the lowest points of my life. Each time you took me in without question. You tried to make me understand I wasn't alone and it would be okay, even if I didn't believe it at the time. As I said before, words seem so meaningless. They can't even begin to touch the gratitude I feel towards you and your family, but thank you all the same._

 _I guess I should explain some of the actions I have undertaken. I have added the extra layers of security to the Ministry. It's a blood, wand signature ward. No doubt people will be angered these are in place without their consent, but they won't notice unless we have to activate the counter ward (detailed below). Basically it gives you the ability to rescind anyone's access. I did meet with Dumbledore, as well as McGonagall and Flitwick. We have increased security around Hogwarts, using a different ward than the Ministry but effective all the same. In section 5 of the doctrine you'll find details of the evacuation plan. I've found places for the Muggle-borns in the other, foreign magical schools as well as accommodation for their parents should they require it. I've also detailed the Muggle children on Hogwarts list whom may receive a letter in the coming years. Hopefully it won't come to that but, as old Moody always used to yell at us, 'be prepared or be dead'._

 _Then there is Remus. I don't know how you want to broach this, as it's multi layered. I've got him a job as the History of Magic teacher. Apparently Dumbledore has finally noticed old Binns is dead. Shocker right?! I truly believe Remus will be a fantastic teacher. He'll deliver interesting and engaging lessons (unlike our History of Magic lessons) yet he's kind and patient. The other reason, and you can tell him if you think it's best, is I am terrified the death eaters will kidnap him and release him on a full moon, because that would kill him, knowing he'd attacked someone. He deserves better than that. He deserves the right to be happy and free more than all of us._

 _Arthur is our man for Muggle guns. We've trained together and he's good. I have no idea if Voldemort will resort to them, but we have them if we need them. Ivan is the contact for anything nuclear, biological or chemical. Again I have no idea if Voldemort will resort to them but the Muggle antidotes could prove useful against death eaters' curses. Dung's great for anything dodgy, just watch your gold. Merlin, I'm writing an essay here when it's all in the doctrine. I guess I feel I owe you an explanation._

 _Lastly, the Horcruxes. Mainly one Horcrux in particular - me. Tell people what you feel they need to know, I trust your judgement on that. But if you can avoid telling them I'm a Horcrux, I would greatly appreciate that. I know it sounds selfish, but I don't want to be remembered as a Horcrux. I don't want Harry, Mum and Dad, Remus and Lily to know what I have to do. I don't want them to remember me as part of Voldemort's soul. If you have to, I understand, but please, as my final wish, can you avoid telling anyone at all costs._

 _So, I guess this is goodbye. I always knew, even before I found out I was a Horcrux, I was living on borrowed time. I am forever thankful for the extra two years I got. Two years to spend with you and Remus. The time I got to know Harry. The family Sunday lunches I got to enjoy. The chance to build what ultimately was going to be a short career. So thank you mate and see you in the afterlife. But I do not want to see you anytime soon! As much as you are a great friend, I don't want to see you in the afterlife for at least fifty years._

 _Thank you,_

 _Padfoot_

James let the letter fall from his hands, as tears began to streak down his face. Somehow he had always known his friend would do something like this. It made the theory of the animagus form choosing the wizard, rather than the other way around, very true. Sirius had always been a kind, protective and desperately loyal man to his friends and family. No more than right now. He knew, but had never accepted the fact, that Sirius was a Horcrux. He had known what ultimately his friend would end up doing, but he hated it. He hated the fact his friend had escaped Voldemort, only to have his life cut short by the bastard. Taking off his glasses he rubbed his tense face. What the hell was he to do? He wasn't a natural leader like his friend, he was just James. He guessed now he understood his friend's internal battle, as he struggled to find the confidence to lead. But now what did he do? How did he tell people Sirius had gone? What did he tell them? Glancing at his watch, he frowned. How the hell had an hour passed?! His parents were due at his house any minute for a Halloween celebration. Two years to the day, his friend had collapsed in his doorway half dead. Now, that same friend had left and was going to allow the person who had given him the death sentence, to carry it out.

Knowing he couldn't stay here forever, knowing he had to let people know what had happened, he slowly stood, collecting the doctrine and Lancelot's lead. He carefully tucked the letter inside his robes. He didn't want to share it with anyone. It was too personal. Too final. As if he was accepting his friend's death. "Come on, boy," he called out. Without a further word he walked out the door and made his way down the dimly lit streets towards his house.

"James, there you are," Euphemia greeted as her son walked through the door. She frowned as her eyes travelled over her son. At his downcast expression, the dog and, more importantly, who was missing. "James, where's Sirius?"

"He's," James started in a shaky voice, his fingers running across the doctrine. He looked down at Lancelot, before taking a breath. "He left this," he finally managed, as he held out the thick, bound book.

"What?"

"James, what are you talking about?" Lily said, taking a step forward.

"He's gone to take…" James paused again, running a hand through his hair. "He's gone to take down Voldemort."

"What?! Why the hell would he do that?" Fleamont exclaimed.

"Because he's Sirius," Euphemia said quietly. "James, how do you know?"

"He left this," James said in a near whisper as he held out the original, short note. He watched his mother read it, her eyes growing bright as she traced over the handwriting with her shaking fingers. "My brave boy," she whispered. "My brave, brave boy. I knew he would do something like this. I knew he would go without saying goodbye."

"Mum?"

"I wouldn't have let him go, would you?"

James slowly shook his head. "He left this," he said as he handed the doctrine to his mother.

"What is it?" Euphemia asked.

"It's our strategy to defeat Voldemort," James explained. "I haven't had a chance to probably look at it but…"

"He was young when he wrote this part," Euphemia said distantly.

"What?" James said as he walked over to the table.

"I doubt he was much more than fourteen," Euphemia replied, her hand running over the text.

"How do you know?" James replied, as he stared down at the page. It still looked like Sirius' handwriting, perhaps slightly different, but still neat and cursive.

"The way he's joined his letters. It shows me the writer had been taught cursive handwriting but was still developing their style. I also remember Sirius' handwriting, it is quite beautiful, but this is less developed and mature than the letters he used to write to us after we adopted him," Euphemia explained.

"It makes sense," James said tiredly.

"Why?" Fleamont interjected.

"A couple of weeks ago Sirius and I were talking. He mentioned he couldn't remember a time when he wasn't at war. He was basically at war with his family his whole life. Even after we adopted him, the wizarding world was at war. Then the bastard kidnapped him. After he escaped, all he's been working towards is defeating Voldemort and trying to bring peace," James said in a tight voice, looking away for a moment.

"Fudge," Fleamont growled.

"Darling," Euphemia said, laying a hand on her husband's shoulder. "You can't, he'll expect you."

"Mum…" James said trailing off. "Crouch tried to get a restraining order against you."

"And Fudge drove my boy away, leaving him with no other option than to do what he has done. Do you think I'm going to take that lightly!"

"No, but…"

"We need to be careful for Sirius' sake. I'm guessing whatever he's doing, he needs the spotlight off him," Lily cut in. She watched her husband nod.

"James what are you going to do?"

"I, I don't know," James said, shaking his head "Sirius has been working on this his whole life. It is his plan, not mine. I know and understand why he had to go, but…"

"Why did he go?" Lily asked.

James sank down onto the sofa, letting his head fall into his hands. "Voldemort is immortal," he said simply.

Whatever reply Lily had been expecting, this was not one of them. "What?" she managed.

"He has created Horcruxes."

"What is a Horcrux?"

"Some very dark magic," Fleamont said, staring down at his son. "Voldemort has split his soul and embedded it into another object."

"Six other objects," James said, avoiding eye contact, upholding his friend's wish. "Sirius knows he's top of the Ministry's and Voldemort's hit list. He knew he had to get out before the war started."

"But to take on the Horcruxes alone!" Fleamont exclaimed.

"I know dad, do you think I like it!" James growled, as he stood up and started pacing. "I should have known. A couple of days ago he started talking about…" He stopped and paused for a moment. If he mentioned everything Sirius had said then the questions would be asked, questions he could not answer. "He was just being so final, as if he knew he was going to disappear. I should have known but, ... I don't know."

"What would you have done? Kidnapped him?" Lily said with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah, if that would have helped!" James retorted. He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "Now I have to deliver my best friend's work. Something he has been working on his whole life."

"You'll be fine," Euphemia said with a smile. "We just need to work on bringing Sirius home."


	31. Chapter 31

As always a huge thanks Ambush99 for betaing the chapter. Amazing job as always.

 **Chapter 31**

It has been two months since Sirius had left and he hadn't heard anything from him, nor had his death been celebrated. So, he guessed it wasn't all bad news. He wondered what his friend was doing and how he was. Sirius was the strongest person he knew, but just how much more trauma could his friend take? Especially considering the sacrifice his friend would have to make at the end of it. He shook his head as he thought of what Sirius had done throughout his life. What he had sacrificed. What he was willing to do in order to defeat Voldemort and he wasn't even going to reap the rewards. The doctrine had been well received by the Order and many of the plans had already been actioned. He knew many more would be actioned before the end of this war. He knew the only reason they would win this war was because of Sirius and the lifetime of work he had put towards it.

Despite everything, despite the worry for his friend which never left him, he could still find a smile. Sirius' idea had been genius. He had known Remus since he was eleven years old and had always helped him but when it came to employment he had felt powerless. But then Sirius, as ballsy as ever, had convinced Dumbledore to offer their friend a job. Remus had been shocked about the job offer, but from what Harry had told him he wondered why Dumbledore hadn't employed Remus before. History of Magic was rapidly becoming one of the favourite lessons amongst Hogwarts students. Something that would never have happened during Binns' time. He had struggled with his decision for a while before he had told Remus. He had wanted Moony to believe it was purely his ability that gained him this job, but Remus was far too intelligent for that. He would figure out what the ulterior motive was and he didn't deserve to find it out from someone else. That person had to be him, he owed both of his friends too much to start betraying them now. It had been hard to tell Remus but he knew it was for the best. He had understood, but couldn't hide the pain, no matter how well intentioned the action had been.

"Any Black sightings?"

Upon hearing Fudge's grating voice, James looked up and glared.

"Not yet, but he's mentally unstable and somewhat lacking in intelligence." Umbridge filled in with her sickly sweet voice.

"Of course, and when we do, there will be a nice cell for him in Azkaban. I'm sure some lawyer will try to convince us he needs treatment in St. Mungo's, but I don't think so," Fudge said with a small laugh. "No, just a one-way ticket for that disruptive individual."

James clenched his fists and took a breath as he tried to calm himself. But his grip on his temper was waning.

Umbridge joined in with Fudge's laughter. "Minister I need to talk to you about a teensy little problem at Hogwarts. I have some concerns…"

"Oh, of course Dolores, I have my own concerns as well," Fudge reassured.

"Well it's to do with his recent appointment of a half breed. A dirty werewolf," Umbridge hissed.

It was as though something snapped inside of him. It had been brewing for weeks. His concern for his friend, combined with the sheer terror he felt when thinking of the prophecy, and then there was the war. He couldn't take some worthless Ministry idiot berating his friends for a moment longer. "What do you know?!"

"I'm sorry?" Umbridge said, turning and flashing a toothy smile.

"How dare you call Remus a half breed when he's ten times the person you'll ever be!" James growled, barely aware the whole foyer had become silent.

"Mr. Potter, it's James isn't?" Umbridge replied in a childlike voice. "Can I call you James?"

"No you bloody can't!" James snapped.

"Mr. Potter I think you need to watch your tone," Fudge tried to add.

"Piss off, you buffoon," James bit back.

"No, it's alright Minister. Mr. Potter here is just a little bit upset about his little friends," Umbridge said in a tone as if she were addressing a child.

"Too right I am. But what pisses me off more than that is two half wits talking about my friends as if they were dirt. Especially when those two people are the strongest, bravest, most intelligent people the wizarding world has. Then there's you…" James trailed off as he looked Umbridge up and down in disgust. "You disgust me, you horrible, bigoted woman."

"Mr. Potter, I think you need to retract those words immediately or there will be consequences," Fudge cut in.

"Oh don't even get me started with you, you half wit," James growled dangerously. "You have been warned and warned about this war and yet you've done nothing! The Ministry has already lost good people because of your continued inaction. How many more will we lose before the war is over?! How much blood will be on your hands?"

"Mr. Potter!"

"Do you think those Muggle deaths are the work of some madman? No, you bloody buffoon, it was Voldemort flexing his muscles," James continued. He watched Fudge flinch at the mention of Voldemort's name. "Yeah that's right, Voldemort. Someone you are so piss-scared of you can't even say his name. I know you will seek appeasement with him and Voldemort will give it to you, but..." James stopped and laughed. "Yeah, he'll break those terms as quickly as he agreed to them. But you'll still seek it all the same because you are weak. If you had only listened to Sirius we wouldn't be in this situation, at least we would be better protected than we are now. If Sirius dies, his blood will be on your hands and I'll never forgive you. Sirius Black is ten times the person you could ever hope to be! He has more guts, more bravery in his little finger, than you do in your whole stinking body. Oh and he's not mad, far fucking from it! He's the strongest, bravest person I've ever met, and I'm honoured to call him my best friend. So why don't you just fuck off and do your job, and quit berating two of the most honourable, brave, intelligent people the wizarding world has?! It may be too late now but there is still a chance we can defeat Voldemort; just take the advice Sirius tried to give you time after time. Then, maybe, we might survive this war."

"Mr. Potter."

James spun around to see his boss standing behind him. Fuck, he thought to himself, I'm so fired. "Yes," he said hesitantly.

"Come with me."

James shot the bewildered looking Umbridge and Fudge a final glare, before stalking off. "Look, if you want me to resign or you want to fire me, I completely understand. But if you think for one moment I am going to rescind those comments then you are sorely mistaken. I'm sorry but I just can't," James said as he entered his boss's office.

"James, please take a seat."

James frowned, in all the time he'd worked for the department, Mr. Temperance had not once called him by his first name. He mentally calculated his finances, wondering how long he could survive without a job. "Mr. Temperance, look I'm-"

"You did what a lot of us have wanted to do for a while," Harold Temperance said simply.

Whatever James had been expecting his boss to say, it wasn't that. "What?" he managed to say.

"Your friend, Mr. Black, I have a lot of time for. He came across as the most balanced, reasonable person in the room. I can only apologise for not supporting him more than I did." Harold sighed and pushed a hand through his thinning hair. "I guess I had become so disillusioned by everything at the Ministry that I had become lost. It was your friend who began to wake us up, but too little, too late. Not that it was his fault at all. A very powerful, strong individual; the Ministry needs more people like him."

"Yeah," James said slowly, as he tried to figure out where his boss was going with this.

"And he was your secret keeper during the last war?'

"Yes," James said nodding, the familiar feeling of guilt returning. If Sirius hadn't been their secret keeper, then he probably wouldn't have been kidnapped by Voldemort. He wouldn't have been tortured for thirteen years. He wouldn't have become a bloody horcrux with a death sentence lying heavily on his shoulders. "Despite everything they did to him, he never broke. He never gave Voldemort our location. Then when he found Harry was in danger he somehow escaped and damn near killed himself to get back and warn us."

"A brave man."

"Yes, I feel..., well, I can never measure up to him. Anything I do for him will never repay the sacrifice he made for us."

"Your other friend you mentioned, Remus..?"

"Remus Lupin," James added, still wondering where his boss was going with this. It was, without doubt, the most personal conversation he had had with his boss.

"He's a werewolf?"

"For one night a month, yes," James added fiercely.

"I guess with my job I find myself again feeling disillusioned. You read so much about the evil werewolves do, but the documents only mention a couple of names. When you consider the number of werewolves," Harold said slowly.

"Not really," James started, as feeling slowly returned to his body. Maybe he wasn't going to be fired. "There are evil werewolves, just as there are evil people."

"Of course," Harold replied distantly. "And I doubt the Ministry's archaic policy helps."

"No it doesn't," James replied with a tight jaw.

"How long has Mr. Lupin had his condition?"

"Since he was five."

"How long have you known?"

"Since I was twelve."

"And you didn't...?"

James exhaled slowly. "Shit at first, hell I don't know. My parents brought me up to believe that everyone was equal, but at the same time I was surrounded by the prejudice in our society. But then there was Remus, he was a mate. We spent our whole time together and we saw the aftermath of a transformation. We couldn't abandoned him like he expected us to, he was our friend."

"That's when you decided to become animagi?"

James raised an eyebrow. "How, how do you know?!" he managed to stutter out.

"I'm head of department, I'm privy to high clearance reports."

"Yes," James started nervously. "Look Mr. Temperance, if you need me to resign or you want to fire me I totally understand."

"No James," Harold said, smiling. "If it was my choice, I'd give you a raise, and it's Harold."

"Of course, Mr. Temp- sorry Harold. Umm but…"

"If you need to take a 'sabbatical' to support Mr. Black, please do. Whatever happens in this war, we will need people like you in the aftermath, whatever that is."

"Mr. T-, Harold…"

"Think it over James," Harold said nodding. "You'll be missed, but I feel you are needed more somewhere else."

"Thank you," James said as he slowly stood. "I'll let you know."

* * *

James wandered into the pub and looked around.

"Oi James," Remus said waving wildly. "Mate are you blind?! Seriously mate I was waving at you for ages. You seriously need to get your glasses checked!"

"Piss off, professor," James said with a grin as he collapsed into the chair opposite his friend.

"You alright mate?" Remus said eyeing his friend's obviously conflicted form with concern.

"Yeah," James exhaled, looking down at his hands.

"Pint?"

"Please."

Remus nodded and made his way to the bar. Returning with two pints, he sat opposite his friend. "What's up, mate?"

"How's the job going? Harry says your classes are amazing. He's never spoken about History of Magic apart from to slag it off."

"He's too kind."

"Really?" James said with a raised eyebrow. "Most of the Ministry with kids are talking about you. I think you have single-handedly changed people's opinions on werewolves.'

"As much as I'd like to believe you, I think it's highly doubtful."

"Fine, don't believe me," James said taking a sip from his pint. "But it's true. Anyway, what's the staff room like? I think it was the one place we didn't manage to get into."

Remus tossed his head back and laughed. "Bloody weird to be in there. I keep thinking I'm going to be yelled at to leave."

"Ha! Yeah I can see that!"

Remus eyed his friend for moment. "Mate, what's the matter? I heard what happened at the Ministry."

"You did?"

Remus nodded. "Of course, you did what all of us have wanted to do for a while."

"That's what the boss said."

"So, have you been fired?"

"No. 'Harold' wanted to give me a raise."

"Really?! And since when have you been on a first name basis with the boss?" Remus enquired with raised eyebrows.

"Since my little 'discussion' with Fudge and that Umbridge cow," James replied.

"Well Flitwick declared he had taught you well and McGonagall proudly declared you were a Gryffindor and therefore in her house."

"Wow, I never thought I'd see the day when my old professors were actually proud of me."

"Mate," Remus said slowly. "Do you know where Sirius is?"

"No," James replied, sadly shaking his head. "I wish I did, then at least I'd know he's okay."

"Sirius isn't coming back from this, is he?" Remus asked. He watched his friend's eyes grow bright before he looked away. "I guess, I guess we have to be thankful for the extra two years we got."

"I guess," James replied sadly.

"You have wonder, how someone like Sirius, who is so good, kind and thoughtful, came from utter hell. His childhood with what his blood parents did to him. Then when he was held hostage and tortured for thirteen years, yet all he wanted to do was come back and protect us. He just wanted to protect people he did not even know. How is that possible?"

"I think his Animagus form makes it very apparent."

Remus nodded sadly. "You wonder how we missed Peter then."

"Yeah," James sighed tiredly. "I guess we were all tied up in …, I don't know. We were young, we thought friendship would last forever."

"I know. You guys are the best friends I've ever had. You accepted me without question, you accepted me for who I am," Remus said, taking a sip from his pint and leaning back against the wall.

"Mate, you are a wizard who just-"

Remus sighed. "James, don't be naive. Look at what Sirius did, look what he was afraid of. Everyone is afraid of my kind. But you and Sirius weren't, you always protected me and now I cannot do anything to protect Sirius."

"Yes you can," James said fiercely. "You can fulfil his wish and hopes. You can protect the students. That's why he fought for you. Not because he was afraid the dark side would use you, but he knew you would be a fantastic teacher and you would do anything to protect your students."

Remus closed his eyes and nodded slowly. "And you? What are you going to do?"

"I-I, I don't know. It feels so wrong, yet so right at the same time," James said as he ran a hand through his dishevelled hair.

"The best decisions always do," Remus replied.

James exhaled heavily and let his head fall into his hands. "Mate, if, if." He stopped and bit his lip, looking away for a moment. "If anything happens to me, please-"

"Oh course, you don't need to even ask. I will protect Lily and Harry with my life if I have to."

"You'd think it would be easier the second time around, wouldn't you," James said in a hollow voice.

Remus shook his head sadly. "We were kids the first time around. Naive kids forced to make adult decisions. This generation of kids shouldn't have to live through this; they shouldn't have to make the decisions we had to. That's what Sirius wants. I know I will never see him again, but I want to honour that man. My best friend, who despite everything going against him, despite having every opportunity to join the dark side, didn't. If he had taken that opportunity, his life would probably have been far easier for him. Hell, his parents may not have tried to kill him. But no, he refused to join the injustice of the dark side. I don't know what he is doing and you don't need to tell me, but you need to look after him. Someone needs to look out for him."

James looked up; he tried to blink away the tears. "I guess, I guess mate this is goodbye then."

Remus nodded, his throat suddenly feeling very tight. "Thank you James, thank you for being the best friend anyone could ever ask for. Thank Sirius as well. Just, thank you for seeing me for who I am, not what society thinks I am. You two accepted me and gave me the opportunities I have now. I, I..." He stopped and looked down, tears silently streaking down his face. "Farewell old friend, and good luck."

* * *

James paced up and down outside the house. He knew what he was going to do but he didn't know how to tell Lily. He felt as though he was abandoning her, and he basically was. With war escalating was it really the right thing to do, abandoning his wife and child? It wasn't as if he thought Lily needed him to protect her, far from it, he just felt guilty abandoning her. He knew he wasn't going to be skipping off into the sunset for a fun adventure. He was under no illusion finding Sirius was going to be easy, after all the man had evaded capture when he had escaped from whatever hellhole the death eaters had held him in. Then, even if he found Sirius, he was basically going to keep him alive until Voldemort killed him. The option of staying home was so much more appealing, but he couldn't. Not after what Sirius had done for him. Not after what Sirius had sacrificed for him. No, he couldn't abandon his friend in his darkest hour.

"James, are you going to stay there all day or are you actually going to come in?" Lily said from the doorway, her hands on her hips.

"Err, yes," James said sheepishly, as he followed her into the house. "Lily…" he said hesitantly, noting the backpack on the table. "What's…?"

Lily looked between her husband and the bag. "Oh don't be daft, darling. It's for you."

"Me?"

"I assume you're going after Sirius."

"What, l…"

"Darling, it's been brewing for a while, ever since Sirius left. Then today you have a public argument with Fudge and you meet with Remus. It was only a matter of time," Lily said gently.

"But.."

"James, you need to do this."

"But I can't leave you here by yourself. I can't abandon you during a war!" James exclaimed.

"James, I will be fine. You need to go. Sirius is our best chance to end this war."

"Lily," James started again. He ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. "It just feels, I don't know."

"I know," Lily said, as she continued to pack the bag. "I've packed some food, gold and potions. The potions are self replenishing. I hope you don't need them, but you're with Sirius, so…"

"Are you sure?" James asked hesitantly.

"Yes," Lily replied determinedly, fixing a smile in place.

"God, how did I manage to get married to someone as amazing and intelligent as you?" James said, taking her into his arms.

"Well, once you stopped acting like an idiot…" Lily said smiling.

"Yeah."

"When are you going to leave?"

"I guess, well, with everything." James stopped and sighed. "Tomorrow? Probably after nightfall."

Lily nodded. "Just look after yourself and bring Sirius home."

James fixed a smile in place. "Of course." He swallowed. 'Bring Sirius home'. He bit his lip, it was so hard to pretend, especially when he knew Sirius was never coming home.


	32. Chapter 32

As always, a huge thank you to my wonderful beta Ambush99

 **Chapter 32**

Breathing heavily, James slowly made his way to the top of the hill. Slinging the bag from his shoulders, he slumped and leant against it as he wiped the sweat from his brow. Leaving Lily last night was undoubtedly the hardest thing he had ever done. He didn't doubt for one second she could defend herself, in fact she was probably more capable than he was, but it still didn't feel right. Leaving his wife and child at the height of war just felt unbelievably wrong. But they were safe. Harry was at Hogwarts and Lily had the Order, not to mention the increased wards Sirius had put around his house. Magic he hadn't known ever existed, let alone knew how to perform. But that was Sirius. Always looking out for and protecting everyone aside from himself. That's why he was sat here, a sweaty mess in the middle of nowhere searching for his best friend. But where did he start? Sirius had evaded capture and detection from both the Ministry and the death eaters for two months, what chance did he have?! Was this whole mission completely pointless?

He tore a small chunk off the loaf, knowing he had to ration it, not knowing how long it would take him to find Sirius. The trouble was he had no idea where Sirius was, or even where to start looking for him. He was wanted by both the Ministry and the death eaters, so wasn't likely to be casually wandering around the place in plain sight. Couple that with his friend's extraordinary knowledge of protective wards, would he ever find him? Was he even still alive? He knew strategically both sides would see it as a victory and would openly declare it, but he couldn't help but wonder. He shook his head as he tried to pull himself from his thoughts. He needed his mind to be clear or he could get himself killed. Pulling himself to his feet, he concentrated hard on the next location. But where? Should he concentrate on where he believed the next Horcrux would be? But how could he, when he didn't even know what the next Horcrux was, or even what all of them were. Or did he think of where Sirius would go? But it had been two months, did he even know where Sirius would have gone? Shaking his head, he knew it was the only option. He didn't know where all of the Horcruxes were, and he knew Remus would have let him know if Sirius had been to Hogwarts. He only had his friend to go on. He had to think like Sirius. Where would Sirius go?

He stumbled slightly as his feet landed hard in the wooded area. Quickly scanning the area, he started to cast the protective wards around him. It was muscle reaction now, easier than locking the front door. He didn't know if Sirius would even visit the New Forest, but hey, he was clutching at straws. He stumbled into the tent and crashed onto the poorly made bed, letting his head fall into his hands. He was beyond tired. He had only been gone for two weeks at most, but he was bone weary exhausted. How much longer could he search for his friend before his body finally gave in?

Upon hearing voices just outside his tent, James sat up with a start. He frowned, wondering for a moment if the wards he had set up were good enough. They hadn't failed him yet, but he had only been going for two weeks. He sank back against the bed, barely breathing through fear he'd be heard. He strained his ears, struggling to make out the conversation.

"How long have you been on the run for?"

James frowned, he knew that voice, he just couldn't place it.

"About a month." Came the reply. "You?"

"Not long after Black disappeared."

"You reckon he's the real deal?"

"Yeah! My son is friends with his godson, Harry Potter. I've met him a couple of times, yes I one hundred percent believe him."

"What about before?"

"What, when everyone believe he was you-know-who's right hand man, when in fact he was actually a hostage? My mate, Jasper, saw him what must have been a few weeks after he escaped and said he looked terrible. Like, he wasn't sure how he was even standing or even conscious. No, that's not the look of someone who's been living the life of Riley."

There was a distance crackle, as though a fire had been started. James leant as close to the door as he dared, willing the two people to continue their conversation.

"To be honest, Sirius seems more believable than Fudge."

"More believable! Are you mad, of course he's more believable than that buffoon. Where do you work if you don't mind me asking?"

"I work in the city, well I used to."

"The city?"

"The financial industry in London, the Muggle world."

"So, you're a…"

"Yup, plain old Muggle."

"Wow, I didn't think it was that bad for you lot, no disrespect intended. I'm Muggle-born, so I've apparently stolen my magic from a witch or wizard."

"This you-know-who is a pretty fucked up guy, isn't he. I'm on the run because I'm impure and dirtying the wizarding world," the seemingly old man said with a sigh. "It's like the stuff I studied at school. You just hope history doesn't repeat itself."

"Yeah, I think Sirius mentioned it once. Wasn't there a Muggle called, oh what was it? Hiller?"

"Hitler," the older man corrected. "Yes, he tried to do the same thing."

"Merlin, the world is so fucked up right now. Neither of us have done anything wrong, yet we are both running for our lives."

"Where are you headed?"

"Portugal, the missus has family there. Yourself?"

"Italy, my sister lives there."

"Have you heard the news about Umbridge?"

"No."

"She's been appointed the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher," the Muggle-born wizard spat.

"What?! That witch?! Sorry, pardon the Muggle use of the word."

The Muggle-born wizard laughed. "No, that's perfectly alright. My dad always used Muggle expressions which could have been deemed offensive in the wizarding world."

"Sorry, but in what world was it deemed that cow would be a good teacher?!"

"Fudge's. He appointed her. I think he's scared of Dumbledore and wanted a spy within the school."

James felt his stomach sink. Poor Remus. Trapped working with that bigoted cow. He hoped the other teachers would support him. He was sure McGonagall would, after all he had been one of her favourites, but Snape…?

"Well, what do you reckon? Head off?"

"I reckon so," the older man replied. "Travel together?"

"Sure, that would be nice. It's damn lonely, this 'on the run' stuff."

"A toast for the road?"

"Sure."

"To peace and Sirius Black!"

"Wherever you are mate, we're behind you," the Muggle-born wizard said, seemingly clinking glasses with the other man. "Well, I guess we better head off. Best not to stay in one place too long."

James slowly exhaled as the two people moved off. He had known the war had been bad, but until now he hadn't realised how bad. He guessed he had been shielded to a certain degree by his status, but to go after plain muggles! He shook his head. He guessed it made sense, after all Voldemort was accusing Muggleborn witches and wizards of stealing magic, so what did he expect? He suddenly thought of Lily, she was muggleborn, was she still safe? Before he had left they had performed the Fidelius Charm, with him being the Secret Keeper. There was nothing in the world which would cause him to break that charm. He would die a thousand deaths before he let Voldemort know where Lily was. Aside from Sirius and Remus, he didn't trust anyone else. And after the last war, he did not ever want to put one of his friends in that position again. He knew Sirius on the outside appeared fine, but he knew his friend was still badly affected. He knew his friend was still plagued by nightmares, as was expected. He just did not want to inflict that pain on anyone else. It was bad enough he had inflicted it on one of his friends, he wasn't about to inflict it on Remus. No, this was his task and his task alone. He curled up on the small bed and fell into a restless sleep.

The next morning he woke feeling anything but refreshed. Worry for his wife and son had plagued his thoughts and dreams. He thought of returning, so he could protect them, but what good would that do apart from ease his worries? As bad as he felt, he knew he couldn't. He knew he had to find his friend. Sirius was their only chance to defeat Voldemort once and for all. He needed to be there to support his friend and… He took a shaky, hitched breath and rubbed his face. After his friend had sacrificed himself and had allowed that monster to slaughter him, someone had to be around to finish off the job. As bad as he felt, he was protecting Lily and Harry more by his hunt for Sirius.

Sighing, he made a quick breakfast with his dwindling supplies. After they were spent he wasn't really sure what he was going to do. He'd never been particularly adept at fishing and his animagus form, being a herbivore, wasn't designed for hunting. He questioned how much the nutritional value from Prong's diet would translate into his human form. He had gold, but he couldn't very well head into a Muggle shop with a handful of galleons. Heading into the wizarding world was out of the question. He had seen old copies of the Daily Prophet, and he had a price on his head due to his association with Sirius. He guessed, well he guessed he would have to cross that bridge when he came to it. As he started to pack the bag, his hand brushed against an unfamiliar envelope. Frowning, he pulled it out and stared at it for a moment. 'Just in case. Love Lily'. With shaking hands he carefully opened it, pulling out a fistful of unfamiliar coloured paper, and a small piece of parchment with familiar handwriting.

 _James,_

 _I've enclosed some Muggle money, as you will probably need it at some_ point.

 _I love you and you are doing the right thing, no matter how bad or wrong it feels. Sirius is our best chance of winning this war_.

 _I love you,_

 _Lily._

He swallowed hard and closed his eyes for a moment. Merlin, this was hard. His fingers brushed across the parchment again, as though he could feel the connection between them. Below the letter Lily had written some rough exchange rates.

 _1 Gallon = £5 (the small green piece of paper)_

 _1 Sickle = 30p (muggles have a combination of coins for this)_

 _1 Knut = 1p (a small bronze coin)_

 _There are 100p in a £1._

 _A pint of milk will cost you roughly 30p. I know you have dealt with Muggle money in the past but it has been fairly limited. The largest purple note with a_ _twenty on it is the largest denomination (muggles do have a £50 but it is not in wide circulation and will call attention to you). Don't spend it all at once!_

He placed the money back in the backpack before continuing to pack up the tent, and sighed again. He knew there were several smaller towns surrounding the New Forest and the large city of Southampton to the east but he felt his chances better lay with Portsmouth, a city slightly further east. With its large ferry port daily bringing thousands of people from the continent, a few glamour charms, a slight French accent to account for any mishandling of the Muggle money, he hoped he'd go unnoticed.

A few hours later his feet touched down just outside Horsey, a small village in the heart of the Norfolk Broads just near Hickling Broad. His shopping mission in Portsmouth had been a success. He'd chosen a large 'Tesco' just near the port. At first he'd been amazed by the selection on offer; aisles full of seemingly instant products. Knowing if he stood around staring all day he would draw attention to himself, he had quickly made his selection and headed to the tills. With a heavy French accent, broken English and random French words thrown in, his lack of understanding of Muggle money was mistaken for someone who had just stepped off one of the nearby Cross Channel ferries.

Just as he was about to set down his bag and set up the familiar wards, he heard voices. Familiar voices, but two which made his blood run cold, the other was again familiar but friendly. Greyback, he thought, his very breath catching in his throat. Did he flee now whilst he had a chance, or did he stay? The friendly voice spoke again, this time with more urgency, laced with fear. That's when it hit him. Ted Tonks! He couldn't flee and leave him to Greyback. No one deserved that, well maybe Voldemort. With his decision made, he threw on his invisibility cloak and carefully slipped into the clearing. Greyback threw Ted against a tree as he and Dolohov continued to argue about something. What it was, James neither knew nor cared. Taking this opportunity, he forced himself to control his ragged breathing as he moved, as quietly as he could, towards the tree. He could feel sweat running freely down his back. His hands were shaking so much he doubted he would be able to put up any form of useful defence.

"Shut up," Greyback growled, throwing his head up to sniff the air.

James froze. His heart was hammering so loudly in his chest he swore Greyback could hear it. He blinked as sweat began to sting his eyes.

"What is it?"

"Nothing," Greyback growled. "I thought I heard something."

"Is the little wolfie hearing things?" Dolohov scoffed.

"Fuck off you prick. I told you I'm having the fucking wand!"

James exhaled as slowly and quietly as he could. He waited a moment for the two to continue their argument before continuing his slow and steady approach. He took a moment to calm himself, before grabbing Ted's arm and apparating on the spot.

"What the fuck?!" Ted managed to exclaim as they landed at their first spot. They apparated five more times before they landed on a windswept hilltop.

"What's the picture above your fireplace in your living room," James yelled as he slammed Ted against the beacon.

"What?!"

"What's the fucking picture?"

"A-A seascape in Brittany," Ted stammered out.

"Sorry about that," James said, releasing his hold on the other man's robes. "You just can't be too careful these days."

"James Potter?" Ted asked, as the other man turned away. He watched him nod. "Thank you, you got me out of a tight bind there. I thought I was done for."

"I couldn't leave you to Greyback," James said simply.

Ted grimaced. "Thank you all the same. What are you doing out here? I thought you'd be safe."

"Maybe, but I'm a blood traitor remember."

Ted nodded. "I guess. So, what are you really doing? It has something to do with Sirius doesn't it?"

James spun around. "What do you know about Sirius?!"

"I saw him a couple of days ago, before the snatchers caught me," Ted replied.

James' mind swirled with questions. "How was he?" he exclaimed.

"He looked fine. Perhaps a little on the thin side, but he's always been on the lean side. I spent perhaps an hour or so with him. We spoke, shared some food before going our separate ways."

More questions bombarded James' mind. "Where were you?" he managed.

"Err," Ted started as he wracked his brains. "Just outside Cowes. Sirius left and told me not to stay there too long, but like an idiot I did. I guess I was angry with myself for leaving Andy. Sirius reassured me she'd be fine, but hell, I don't know. Anyway, I stayed there the night and was caught by snatchers a couple of days later."

James exhaled slowly. "It happens to the best of us. Do you want to share some food?"

"Sure," Ted said, sinking down, his back to the leeward side of the beacon. "Where are we?"

"St. Agnes Beacon in Cornwall," James replied, handing Ted a Pot Noodle.

"Windy place," Ted acknowledge, taking the pot from James. "Chicken and mushroom, my favourite!"

"You've had these before?"

"Of course. What have you got?"

"Beef and tomato," James replied hesitantly. "Although I question how close it's ever been to a cow."

Ted laughed. They sat in silence for a while, slowly devouring their separate pots. "So," Ted started slowly. "I know Sirius is your best friend, but why are you out here?"

"I need to find him," James replied quietly.

"He's the key to ending this war isn't he?" Ted watched James nod slowly. "He's a good guy, always has been."

"I know," James acknowledged. "How's your family?"

"Okay I guess. Andy should be fine, she's a pure blood witch and from one of the most dominant sacred twenty-eight families. Plus, she's a Black. Apart from Sirius and my daughter, the rest are death eaters."

James nodded. "Sirius put up some pretty impressive wards before he left. What about Tonks?"

"She's fine. She's highly trained, I wouldn't mess with her," Ted acknowledged with a smile. "She splits her time between her mother's and her boyfriend's place."

"Remus?"

"Yeah. I was hesitant at first."

"You were?"

"Of course, he's thirteen years her senior but, seeing how happy she is with him, well what kind of father would I be to deny that?" Ted finished.

"Not because…" James trailed off.

"Because he has lycanthropy? Merlin no!" Ted exclaimed. "I remember him from school. He may have been several years below me but I still remember him as being a kind and gentle boy, despite running with you and Sirius."

"I…"

"What? Merlin no, you and Sirius weren't bad or evil by any stretch of the imagination. Did you cross the line with other students such as Snape a few times? Sure. Did Snape also cross that line? Of course he did. It didn't make any one of you evil, no, not all." Ted stopped and sighed. "I always wondered why you two were always so protective of Remus, now I understand why. And despite everything that happened to you three, you somehow remained good, honourable people."

"Sorry Ted, I didn't mean to imply…"

"Don't worry about it," Ted said, waving his hand dismissively. "Well, I better get going. I was lucky once, I doubt I'll be lucky again."

"Where are you headed?"

"Romania, Sirius set me up with Charlie Weasley."

"I've never really met Charlie, but I've met the rest of the family. Ron, their second youngest, is Harry's best friend. They are a good, honourable family."

Ted nodded in agreement. "Where are you headed?"

"Honestly, I have no idea," James exhaled, raking a hand through his disheveled hair.

"Sirius, of course, didn't say where he was going but he suggested he was headed up north," Ted said quietly. "Well, I better get going."

"Of course," James said nodding. "How are you getting there?"

"Hiding in the Muggle world," Ted said, pulling out a small, dark red book. "Well I don't have a wand anymore."

"Oh, have this," James said, handing over a wand. "I'm not totally sure whose it was but I won it last week."

"But you…"

"I've got mine, you need it more than I."

"Thank you," Ted said gratefully. "Good luck James." Without a further word he apparated on the spot and disappeared.

James took a moment to reflect before apparating to a wild Yorkshire Moor. Without dropping his bag, he quickly set up the wards and collapsed into the tent. He exhaled sharply as he thought of what Ted had said and what he had learnt over the last few hours. Sirius was alive, well he had been a few days ago and he was okay. He sank down on the floor, his head resting against the bed. Sirius may be alive but he still had no idea where he was. Something caught the corner of his eye. He turned and blinked a couple of times. It was like an orb, just hovering beside him. Willing him to follow it. Any notion of sleep had left him. Quickly packing up the tent and his meagre belonging, he started to follow the orb. He didn't know why, but he knew it wouldn't harm him.


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33, really?! My original plan was about 15 chapters and possibly a sequel of maybe 10 chapters… but here we go. Chapter 34 is already in the works.

A huge thanks to Ambush99 for her amazing betaing skills and support.

 **Chapter 33**

His parents would have scolded him for blindly following the orb. Lily would have been livid. Moody would've killed him, saving whatever lay at the end from finishing off the job. Sirius would have called him a bloody idiot, but somehow he thought he knew whatever lay on the other side wasn't evil nor was it going to hurt him. He pulled his jacket closer to his body as a bitterly cold east wind cut into him. As tired as he was, he knew he had to go on. The orb was guiding him. To what, he did not know, but somehow he felt it would eventually lead him to Sirius. With that motivational thought in mind, he increased his pace. He walked all day, his pace was unrelenting. He barely stopped for food or water. As long as the orb continued to guide him, he would not stop. He needed to find Sirius, and he knew it would lead him to Sirius.

It was nightfall by the time he had reached a large forest. Utterly exhausted, he sank down to his knees and let his head fall into his hands. What if the orb was just a pipe dream? What if it was just a hallucination? What if Voldemort had sent it and he was leading himself to his own death? Then what? Who would be there for Sirius at his darkest of hours? Why hadn't they told others of their plan? Why hadn't he persuaded Sirius to tell Remus or someone he was a horcrux? If he died, then what? Would the world of magic fall? He took a breath and looked up at the moon. It was only crescent shaped, so at least Remus would be at peace for several days before it turned full. He looked to his left, the orb was still there, but it was hovering with some form of urgency, as though the time was nigh. As though it needed him to act quickly.

"What do you want from me?!" he yelled at it. "I've followed you, but you haven't given me anything! Just tell me what I need to do?!"

As though the orb could understand him, it started moving towards the forest, pausing to see if he was following. James sighed, and ran a hand through his hair. All he wanted to do was sleep, yet he knew he couldn't. He had to continue. "Fine," he growled, picking himself up from the ground. "Fine, I'll fucking follow you!" With great effort he followed the orb into the forest, stumbling over tree roots, too tired to pull his wand out and light the way. He had no idea how long he had been walking when all of a sudden the orb stopped and shone over a frozen pond.

"What?!" James said, biting back a laugh. "A fucking, frozen, shitty pond, that's what you've led me to?! Really?!"

He punched a nearby tree in frustration. "Damn," he hissed. His senses heightened as he heard a twig snap. Pulling out his wand, he spun around searching for the source. He squinted into the darkness, only lit by a dim moonlight. "Sirius?" he whispered, as a familiar figure walked towards the pond. His hair was a lot shorter than he ever remembered but he looked alert, he looked alive. James watched as he paused on the banks of the pond, before Sirius pulled out his wand, broke the ice and dove in.

"Fuck!" James exclaimed, rushing up to the frozen pond. "You bloody idiot!" Without hesitating, he threw the backpack down and dived into the pond. He felt his lungs restricting as the icy water hit him. He ignored it, and pushed deeper into the pond. He barely felt the stabbing pain from the freezing waters. All he cared about was the figure he had seen moments ago. His friend. His brother in all but blood. His hand made contact with a body. Seizing it, he kicked hard towards the surface, dragging his friend with him. He gasped as his head broke the surface, his lungs drawing in vital oxygen. Taking a couple of short strokes, his feet hit the muddy floor. With some difficulty, he dragged his unconscious friend onto the frozen banks.

"Sirius!" he said urgently, tapping his friend's cheek. "Come on mate, don't bloody do this to me!"

He stopped and frowned at the small, golden object, seemingly pulsating on his friend's chest, as through it either wanted to rip a hole in it, or cut his throat with the thin golden chain. He grabbed it, but it only seemed to cause it to try and push itself further into Sirius' chest.

"What the fuck?!" James exclaimed. He seized the locket with both hands and yanked, forcing it to yield its grip on his friend. The locket seemed to be alive, looking for its new host. Not wanting to be its next host, he threw it as hard as he could away from them.

"Sirius!" James said urgently, as he watched his friend begin to cough. Quickly he turned his friend onto his side, as he began to cough up the muddy water from the pond. "You bloody idiot," he whispered.

Sirius drew deep, painful, gasping breaths into his oxygen-deprived lungs. His greying vision began to come into focus again. He heard a voice close to him, yet he could not make out the words. The person touched his shoulder, yet he didn't have the strength to fight it off. His hand went to touch the locket, yet it was not there. Where was it? Who had taken it? Were they going to deliver it to Voldemort? Would they tell him of his plan to destroy the Horcruxes? Would his plan fail? In one smooth, swift action, Sirius was on his feet, his wand pointing dangerously at whomever he presumed had taken the locket. "Where the hell is it?!" he yelled.

James pulled himself to his feet and stared at his friend in disbelief. "What?" he said, as he faced his friend, his wand lowered.

"The fucking locket, where are you hiding it?" Sirius snapped, taking a couple of steps towards the man.

"The locket? What, the thing that was trying to bloody kill you?! I got it off you," James yelled back.

"Why the hell would you do that?!" Sirius snarled, his whole body shaking.

"Because it was trying to either rip a hole in your chest, or slit your fucking throat. I don't know about you, but I didn't think it was a good idea."

"Where the hell is it?" Sirius demanded again, seemingly ignoring the person's revelation. His tense and dangerous demeanour not changing.

"I threw your precious locket over there," James snapped. He watched his friend walk over and snatch up the locket before he tackled him, slamming him to the ground. With his knee on Sirius' chest he effectively pinned him to the ground. "Now, you are going to bloody tell me what the hell is going on!"

"Piss off!" Sirius spat. "Get off me you bastard."

"No," James bit back. He pointed his wand in his friend's face and, with his free hand, gripped his chin forcing him to look at him. "Sirius, tell me what's happening. Let me help you."

"James?" Sirius said in a small voice, all of the hostility in it before now gone.

"Yeah mate, it's me. It's Prongs," James said softly, as he eased his pressure on Sirius' chest.

"What are you doing here?" Sirius asked, in a slightly bewildered voice.

"Looking for you."

"Why?"

"You didn't think I was going to let you do this alone did you?" James replied, as he pulled Sirius into a sitting position. He took a moment to look at his friend. He had obviously lost weight, he had dark circles under his eyes but he didn't look unhealthy. "Mate, are you alright? What happened there?" he said, referring to his friend's somewhat drastic mood change.

"I didn't know it was you."

Sirius voice was so soft he didn't catch what he said. "What?"

"I didn't know it was you," Sirius repeated, pulling his knees up to his chest, his hand loosely wrapped around the locket.

James frowned. "You didn't know it was me?"

"It's stupid, I know but.." Sirius paused and took a breath, as he rubbed a hand over his tired face. "I don't know."

"It's the locket isn't it?" James said, looking down at his friend's hand.

"It's weird, I don't know, but it's like it's trying to possess me," Sirius said in a near whisper. "You think I'm crazy don't you?"

"No," James said shaking his head. "No I don't mate. I had a hard job getting that bloody thing off you, and when I did I swear it was looking for a new host."

"It tried to…?"

"Yeah, that's why I threw it away from us," James said, watching his friend carefully. "It's a horcrux isn't it?" He watched him slowly nod. "Shit, I mean good you've found one but it's a fucking evil thing!"

"It's part of Voldemort's soul," Sirius said looking away.

"Not all horcruxes are evil," James said, laying a hand on Sirius' shoulder. "You're not evil."

Sirius looked away, not wanting to reveal the dreams he was having. The ones when it felt like he was Voldemort. Feeling his every thought. Seeing his every action. He'd wake in a cold sweat, shaking, feeling as though he had carried out the murders. He could still hear the victims' tortured and terrified last screams. See their pain and fear-filled faces.

"Sirius!"

"Yeah," Sirius replied distantly, blinking several times as he tried to pull himself from his thoughts.

"What were you doing in that pond?"

"The sword."

"The sword?"

"Godric Gryffindor's sword, it was in the pond."

James frowned. He knew his friend was a proud Gryffindor but he didn't think he'd do anything reckless just for an artefact. "Mate, I'm not following."

"I think the sword can destroy Horcruxes," Sirius explained. He looked around, desperately scanning the bank. "It's over there," he said, pointing to the nearby bank.

James adjusted his glasses, noticing the sword for the first time. He guessed he'd been distracted by his half-drowned friend, and then by the same friend trying to attack him. "Sirius," he said quietly. "Mate, give me the horcrux," he said, holding out his hand. "Let me carry it. Let me share the burden."

Sirius stared at James' open palm for a moment. Doubt swirled around his head, telling him he couldn't trust James. That he would take the horcrux as his. He closed his eyes as he tried to force the thoughts from his head. No, James was his friend. He wouldn't take it from him. He would never betray him. Swallowing hard, he turned his hand and carefully dropped the cold, heavy metallic object into his friend's open palm. "Don't wear it," he warned. "It does weird things to…" he trailed off and looked away.

"Okay, I'll just stick it in my pocket," James said, as he placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "You stay here a moment, I'm just going to pick up the sword." He watched his friend nod in acknowledgement. He quickly jogged over to the bank and retrieved the sword. "I've got a tent in my bag. It's pretty small but it'll do."

"Mine's a couple of minutes from here," Sirius said looking up.

"Lead the way," James said, throwing out his hand, pulling his friend to his feet.

"Mate, I'm sorry about, well, earlier," Sirius said, as he bent down to pick up James' bag.

"Don't worry about it, it's not your fault. We'll destroy the bloody thing and it won't be able to hurt you anymore."

Sirius nodded, as he made his way through the forest with heavy legs. His feet were numb from his earlier swim, causing him to be clumsy.

"You okay, Sirius?" James asked, as he caught Sirius as he stumbled.

"Yeah, just cold that's all."

"Tell me about it," James said, shivering slightly. "Please tell me your tent is warm."

"Oh yeah, it has all the latest mod cons. Underfloor heating and everything," Sirius said with a slight smile.

"Piss off you idiot," James joked. "All I asked was if it's warm."

"Yeah it's warm. I've got a fire going."

"Good," James replied as they rounded a clearing. He found a small smile as the tent came into view. "Can…?"

"No," Sirius said, shaking his head. "I've set up blood wards. Only you and I can see it."

"Come on mate," James draped his arm around his friend's shoulders. "Don't know about you, but I could murder a tea or something stronger."

A few minutes later the tent was steaming with wet clothes. Both men sat close to the fire, their hands held out towards it. "I think the feeling has finally returned to my hands," James said, as he rubbed them together. "Seriously Sirius, jumping into a frozen pond has to be seriously one of the most stupid ideas you've had."

Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. "Will that joke ever get old?!"

"Nope," James replied, leaning back against the bed.

"Anyway, I got the sword didn't l?"

"You did, but might I recommend you don't go swimming with some stupid locket around your neck, and maybe wait until the summer."

"I'm not sure Voldemort got that memo," Sirius replied with a grin.

"Did you leave him off the distribution list again?"

"Must have," Sirius joked.

"No wonder he's so pissy, he never got the Christmas party invite."

"You're such a twat."

"Oh that's nice," James said with a grin. "Insult the man who saved your life."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Are you actually going to bring anything useful to the table?"

"Yeah, I've got Super Noodles," James said as he tossed a pack at his friend. "It's better than whatever you have here. Anyway, what the hell is that? Squirrel?!"

"Yeah, Padfoot caught it."

"Squirrel?!"

"Better than whatever Prongs could catch. Can Prongs actually catch anything?!"

James sighed dramatically as he slung an arm around his friend's shoulders. "Well I guess we will be eating squirrel on a bed of noodles." He stood and grabbed the squirrel from the line, and started cooking. It wasn't long before the tent was full of the smell of cooking meat.

"Well, that was...," James said as he wiped his mouth.

"Fucking disgusting," Sirius finished, as he polished off the remains of overcooked squirrel and soggy noodles.

"Can't Padfoot catch something better next time?"

"What, like deer?" Sirius said with a sly grin. "Well, after all Padfoot is a deerhound."

James grinned and shook his head. "You are a sick individual my friend."

"James."

"Yeah."

"Thanks."

"For what?"

"Coming out here. Finding me."

"As I said, did you really think I was going to let you do this alone?" James said, draping an arm around his friend's shoulders. "No mate, no way. I am going to be there to the end, whatever that might be."

"Prongs, you…" Sirius stopped and looked down. "You..."

"I will be there for you until the end. I know what you have to do and I hate it, but I cannot change that. But I can be there for you, and I know that sounds pointless, childish even but that, that's all I can offer you."

"Thanks," Sirius managed.

"Of course," James said, pulling his friend closer. "Get some rest, mate. I doubt you've had a lot of it over the last couple of months. Let me take watch tonight."

"Thanks," Sirius replied, his eyes already drooping, his head resting on his friend's shoulder. He knew he wouldn't sleep long, he never did, but he wasn't alone anymore.


	34. Chapter 34

Another chapter, and another huge thanks to my wonderful beta Ambush99!

 **Chapter 34**

"I'm sorry about last night," Sirius said rubbing his face, feeling vaguely refreshed from snippets of sleep he'd had.

"Sorry about what?" James replied, as he rummaged around in the backpack.

"About." Sirius paused and swallowed. "About everything."

"Are the nightmares always that bad?" James watched his friend look away, confirming his suspicions. "Shit, Sirius why didn't you say?"

"Because it doesn't matter," Sirius replied quietly.

"Like hell it doesn't!"

"I thought I had them under control okay!" Sirius snapped back.

"You mean you thought you could hide them from people," James retorted. He watched his friend turn away and start absentmindedly adjusting the cooker. "Mate, talk to me. I'm not going to be able to make them all magically go away but I might be able to help."

"James, look last night…"

"You had a few nightmares, yes I know. I was awake anyway, remember?

"James, I…"

"Mate it's just me, okay. We are the only two people here, you don't need to act okay if you're not. I'm not. I'm fucking terrified. I'm scared of what this war will bring. I'm physically sick with fear when I think of Harry and Lily. I can't think of what will happen if we fail."

"But you don't…"

"Yes I do," James said cutting his friend off. "Not as frequently as you do, but I've been through less. I've seen less. But I still get nightmares. Sirius, mate, Padfoot just talk to me."

Sirius sighed and sank down, drawing his knees up to his chest, and rested his head on them. "When I got back, I, well you know I had nightmares. I struggled to separate fact from fiction, reality from my dreams. But over time they started to fade. Then Voldemort returned and I felt I had no control again but this time I had a full time job. A job where people's lives depended on my reactions. People depended on my ability to have a clear mind and keep them safe. I felt it easier if I didn't sleep. I felt I had more control. Then I moved to Godric's Hollow and they began to fade again. Then, then…" Sirius paused, burying his head deeper into his knees, not knowing how to continue.

"Then you found the horcrux and they got worse again," James filled in. He watched his friend slowly nod. "Then let's destroy it right now and have done with it!"

"No."

"No? Sirius, this thing is the root of all evil. It's a horcrux, it has to be destroyed!"

"I know! I know they all have to be fucking destroyed, okay!"

"Shit, I'm sorry mate, I didn't think. Forgive my tactlessness," James said softly.

"But you're right. They are the root of all evil. For fuck's sake, I attacked you last night!"

"It wasn't your fault, I don't think you knew what you were doing."

"And that makes it okay?! This thing is controlling me. I'm fucking letting it control me."

James frowned with concern. "Okay," he said nodding. "But there are two of us now. You don't always need to keep watch. I know you feel you need to and I know you feel the need to research horcruxes at every waking moment, but you don't have to. You can't. You need to find a way to switch it off."

"You don't think I've fucking tried?! You think I like hearing Voldemort's thoughts. Seeing his fucking murders?" Sirius exclaimed, as he jumped up and began to pace.

"Sirius?"

"What!"

"How long have you been having these visions?" James asked carefully.

"Look James, I don't want to talk about it, okay!"

"Sirius!"

"I don't want to talk about it!" Sirius snapped. "We've got to move on, we've already stayed here too long."

James swallowed and shot back a glare at his friend. "Fine! But we are having breakfast before we go!"

"Fine!" Sirius hissed, shooting back a glare.

"Will beans on stale bread suit sir?"

"It'll be fine," Sirius growled as he started packing up the tent.

James shook his head and bit his lip. His friend had always had an explosive temper but this was more than that. This involved extreme stress and a bloody horcrux. Yelling back at Sirius wasn't going to help anyone, least of all his friend. He looked over at his friend, at his tense posture and at the slight tremors running through his hands, one's he knew he was likely trying so hard to suppress. "Mate," he called out slowly. "Food's ready."

Sirius stalked over, his body still slightly shaking with anger. But it wasn't towards his friend. No, James had sacrificed a lot, too much, to help him. He didn't know what it was but he was finding his legendary temper was far closer to the surface these days. "Thanks," he said without looking up.

"Where are we going next?"

Sirius found his anger peaking again. Why the hell did James expect he had a plan? Why did everyone expect him to have a bloody plan?! "I don't know," he replied, biting back the growl.

James nodded. "I guess we want somewhere quiet and out of the way to destroy it."

"Yeah," Sirius managed, shoving a mouthful of baked beans in his mouth.

"There's this island, Merlin it's on the tip of my tongue. It's off the coast of the Shetland's."

"I'm not really feeling like a game of Trivial Pursuit right now," Sirius replied quietly, taking a long swig of his coffee.

"Foula!"

"What?"

"The Isle of Foula, it's an island about 20 miles west of the Shetland's. It's the remotest, permanently inhabited island in Britain. It only adopted the Gregorian calendar in 1800, so it is twelve days behind the rest of the UK."

"What, did you swallow a bloody encyclopedia?"

"What I'm saying is it's prefect. It's out of the way-"

"I got that at 'remotest permanently inhabited island in Britain'," Sirius said, cutting him off.

"Anyway," James continued. "We can destroy the horcrux there-"

"And then we need to get the hell out of there," Sirius added.

"Sirius?"

"I don't know if the Horcruxes are connected. I don't know if Voldemort knows we are destroying them, but I don't want to hang around to find out. Whatever happens, as soon as we destroy that horcrux, we need to move on," Sirius said, calmly locking eyes with his friend. "We need to move on from here, we've stayed too long as it is." He stood and looked around the tent for a moment. "Thanks for the food," he added.

"Right, Foula," James said, half an hour later after they had packed up everything.

"Mate, I'm sorry about being so ratty earlier," Sirius said as he went to stand beside his friend.

"And I was not without fault?"

"I didn't say that," Sirius replied with a raised eyebrow.

"Twat," James replied, grabbing Sirius around the neck and messing up his hair. "Anyway, what's with the new haircut?"

"Like you're one to give fashion tips," Sirius retorted. "It's easier to manage whilst on the road."

"Fair enough. Anyway, shall we?" James said, as they apparated on the spot.

"You didn't say it would be blowing a bloody hurricane!" Sirius yelled, hugging his jacket close to his lean frame.

"I thought the description of twenty miles west of the Shetland's would have given you a clue," James yelled back, taking off his glasses and tapping them with his wand. "Fuck, it's cold," he swore, as the fine mizzle made its way between his layers.

"Well, I guess we'll be undisturbed," Sirius replied as he bent his head towards James. "I guess we better do this. Remember James, whatever happens, as soon as the horcrux has been destroyed, get out of here."

"Sirius, what aren't you telling me?"

"Nothing mate, I just want to get this over with, that's all," Sirius replied, as he looked away.

"Sirius?"

"What?"

"Mate, are you sure there's nothing else going on?"

"Yeah, I'm sure," Sirius replied flashing a tense smile. "Why?"

"I don't know, you're just being all weird. Weirder than normal."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Do you want to destroy this horcrux or not?"

"No, I thought it would go really well with my dress robes. Of course I want to bloody destroy it," James said, thrusting his hand into his pocket and pulling the locket out. Carefully placing it on a nearby rock on the loch shore, he looked at his friend. "Are you ready?"

Sirius pulled out his wand and stared at the locket determinedly. "Yes. It might try and put up a fight or something."

"I figured that, after it tried to possess both of us," James replied, his eyes never leaving the locket. "On the count of three?"

Sirius stood up, holding the sword high, above his shoulders. "I wouldn't put your fingers there," he observed.

"Is your coordination that shit?"

Sirius shot his friend a look. Okay. One… two...three." He swung the sword hard and fast down towards the horcrux. There was a metallic clatter, a slight flash, before Sirius found himself being thrown a few feet backwards.

"Sirius!" James said, taking a step forward.

"I'm fine mate," Sirius replied, slowly sitting up. "What do you reckon? Stab it?"

"Might as well try."

Picking himself up, Sirius stood over the locket, glaring at it. With all his might, he drove the sword down towards the locket. There was a seemingly larger explosion, and he found himself lying several feet from the locket. "What the fuck!" he swore.

"Let me try," James said, stepping forward, taking the sword from his friend. He brought the sword down hard on the locket, there was a blinding flash and, like Sirius, he found himself in a heap, feet from the locket.

"Why won't you fucking die!" Sirius growled, picking up the locket and throwing it down on the rock.

"Sirius, what's going on? You said you thought the sword would destroy them. You bloody well nearly drowned yourself trying to get it!"

"I don't know, okay!" Sirius snapped. He ran a tense hand through his hair. "I thought it bloody would. Because..., I don't know."

"Because we both thought the sword wasn't a horcrux, so it was a logical step," James sighed, as he sank down onto the marshy hilltop, sword still held loosely in his right hand. "We need something else."

"Obviously," Sirius replied defeatedly, staring over the small loch.

"How confident are you with fiendfyre?" James mused.

"I'm not," Sirius replied simply. "You?"

James shook his head. "Me neither. Didn't we destroy a building with it once?"

"That was years ago," Sirius replied, shaking his head. "But it doesn't exactly inspire confidence."

"I hate this bloody weather!" James sulked, pulling the collar of his cloak up. "It's so bloody shit."

"It's Scotland in winter, what did you expect?"

"I don't remember Hogwarts being this shit," James replied, shivering.

"What do you reckon? Put the tent up?"

"Might as well. We're not going to solve anything out here getting cold and wet."

"I think you mean colder and wetter," Sirius replied, pulling the tent from his bag. With a few flicks of his wand the tent was assembled, and they both crawled in. "Thank God I'm a wizard. I don't think I could hack pissing around with tent poles like the muggles do."

"Me either," James said pointing his wand at his clothes, drying them.

"Mate, I'm sorry."

"About what?"

"That," Sirius replied, his eyes flicking in the direction of the horcrux.

"You're not supposed to have all the ideas. We both thought the sword would destroy it. W W V D," James mused.

"What?"

"What would Voldemort do?" James explained.

"Something sick and twisted?"

"So we know a horcrux is created by murder."

"Yes, so something sick and twisted," Sirius sighed as he sank back on the armchair and closed his eyes.

"Then we murder it," James said with a slight smile.

"Mate, I think you'll find we just tried to do that. If you stab someone with a dirty, great, big sword they tend to die," Sirius said quietly, his eyes remaining closed.

"Would Voldemort stab someone? Do you think any of the people he murdered to create the horcruxes were killed by a 'muggle method'? No mate, it was by wand. You've studied him more than anyone else," James said enthusiastically, as he began to pace up and down the tent.

"What are you suggesting?"

"The killing curse."

"Have you ever used it before?" Sirius said, sitting forward, eyeing his friend carefully.

"No," James replied shaking his head. "You?"

"No," Sirius said, taking a deep breath. "Okay, let's say we do use the killing curse, then what? You saw what the locket did with the sword. What if it deflects the curse. I got lucky once but I doubt I will again."

"We need to open it."

"Mate, we tried that and nothing happened," Sirius said tiredly, as he rubbed his face.

"What's Voldemort obsessed with?"

"I don't know; blood status?"

"Exactly!" James said enthusiastically, almost bouncing up and down on the balls of his feet. "I'm pure blood, right? I should open it, right?"

"No. No, I should do it," Sirius said standing up, looking at his friend defiantly.

"Sirius, this isn't a competition of who is braver than who," James bit back.

"No, you don't understand. We underestimated Voldemort before. He's going to have more than pure blood wards to protect his horcruxes. But I, I have part of his soul embedded in me. I think the wards will be confused, maybe enough for me to open it," Sirius said almost dangerously.

"But Sirius!"

"What? We are both pure bloods, why does my life have more value than yours?"

"Because if…"

"I know," Sirius said nodding. "But I reckon we have a far greater chance of defeating this shit if I use my blood."

James eyed his friend for a moment and sighed. He knew what Sirius was saying was right. They had been outfoxed by Voldemort in the past, but they were not going to be again. "Okay," he said nodding. "Okay, we'll do that."

Sirius pursed his lips together and nodded. "Right," he said, as he flicked his wand, packing up the tent.

"We're doing it now!?" James exclaimed.

"Why not? We were going to destroy the bloody thing earlier but we couldn't."

James nodded. "Fine. I just want you to know, I don't like this."

"Noted," Sirius replied. He took a breath and looked around him. "Mate, remember what I said. Whatever happens, as soon as the horcrux is destroyed we need to get out of here."

"Sirius, what the hell aren't you telling me?!"

"Nothing, just we are dealing with some seriously dark magic and it should not be underestimated."

"Fine," James replied, as he followed Sirius to the small outcrop of rocks.

Sirius pulled a penknife from his pocket. "You ready?"

James nodded. "I'll do it."

"James?"

"You throw it and I'll curse it," James said as he sank down behind the rocks.

"Okay," Sirius said slowly. He stared at the locket and the knife for a moment before slicing the knife across his open palm. He let his blood pool for a moment, before he closed his fist around the locket.

"Mate, we need to stop. It's not working," James said urgently, staring at his friend in horror, as the blood seeped between his fingers.

"Give it a moment, it needs to recognise my blood," Sirius replied, clenching the locket harder, causing his blood to run freely down his arm.

"Sirius!"

"James, wait," Sirius said, holding his other hand up. "Just wait."

"No, you're losing too much blood. We need to stop this now!"

"Mate, shut up okay!" Sirius bit back. "Wait, something's happening."

James swallowed nervously, wand at the ready. "Okay."

"I can feel it opening. We're not going to have long, but it will try and possess me. I think it will try and bond onto the other horcrux," Sirius said, as he looked at his friend. "We are killing its host, it will look for another source."

James stared at his friend in horror. "On the count of three? 'Cos I'm not letting it fulfill its desire. I'm not letting it leech itself onto you!" He watched his friend nod. "Okay. One. Two. Three."

Sirius lobbed the locket as hard as he could and ducked low behind the rock. "Avada kedavra," James yelled, before joining Sirius behind the rocks. There was a blinding red flash of light, then everything became silent.

"Yesss!" James yelled, his hands held aloof. "We did it, mate. We actually fucking destroyed a horcrux!" He frowned and looked down at the still, silent figure slumped next to him. "Sirius?" he said gently shaking the unresponsive figure. "Sirius!"


	35. Chapter 35

Sorry for the slight delay, I had to write the chapter for my other fic, I hope this installment was worth the wait.

As always, a huge thank you to Ambush99 for betaing this chapter!

 **Chapter** **35**

"Sirius!" James said, desperately shaking the still, unresponsive figure. Panic grew, as his friend continued to be limp, unmoving and cold to the touch. Had Sirius' warning come to pass? Had his killing curse deflected off the horcrux and hit Sirius? Had he killed his best friend? He couldn't have, Sirius had been so alive and full of life moments before. But then, he thought shaking his head, so had most victims of the killing curse.

"Padfoot, come on! Don't do this to me, I can't do this alone!" James whispered, laying a hand on his friend's still shoulder. He frowned. Why hadn't he done it before? Hesitantly, he rested two fingers on his friend's neck and waited. He let out the breath he didn't realise he was holding. Sirius was alive, but what had caused his collapse? Could it have been blood loss? He looked down at the still bleeding hand, and hastily wrapped it, knowing that he'd need to clean it out before he healed it.

"Padfoot," he said, again shaking the unresponsive figure. "Mate, what the hell is happening?!" Still no response. No nothing. He closed his eyes for a moment. What the hell did he do now? He couldn't very well pop into St. Mungo's. He needed to… he almost slapped himself as Sirius' last words came back to him. _'Whatever happens, as soon as the Horcrux is destroyed, you need to apparate out of here'._ "Fuck Sirius, you're not making it easy for me are you. Accio locket," he said pointing at the still smoldering wreck of a horcrux. Gathering their bags together, James wrapped his arms around Sirius and apparated.

He staggered forward, weigh down with two bags and the limp form of his best friend, as he landed hard in their latest location. The Isle of Sheppey, a low lying island in the Thames estuary. The settlements tended to occupy the coastal areas, leaving most of the inland untouched, save the numerous power lines criss-crossing the island. He gently lay his friend down, covering him with his cloak. "Mate," he said quietly, shaking him. Still no response. But he was still breathing, and the blood didn't appear to have soaked through the crudely made bandage.

He stood and quickly started to mutter the familiar words, setting up the various protective wards. He flicked his wand towards Sirius' tent, setting it up. "I've said this before and I'll say it again, mate you are really not making this easy for me," he said, dragging his friend's unconscious form into the tent and out of the elements. Once he had Sirius settled on the bed, he ran a diagnostic spell over him but it came back with nothing. Nothing to explain his friend's present, unconscious state. "Sirius, what the hell is happening?" he muttered to no one in particular. Figuring his friend wasn't in any immediate danger, he sank down and leant against the bed. What a crazy twenty four hours it had been. Had it only been twenty four hours since he had met Sirius in the woods he thought, has he took his glasses off and rubbed his face. So much had happened, yet so little time had passed. Twenty four hours ago he'd been blindedly following some orb, which had somehow lead him to Sirius. Who had sent the orb? He knew it hadn't been himself or Sirius. How had they known where Sirius and he had been? He raked his hands through his completely dishevelled hair. Was someone tracking them? Their intentions did not appear to be ill, but maybe that was the plan. Get both of them in the same location before killing them. Maybe that's what was happening to Sirius. Maybe the magic was so dark it wouldn't be picked up by any diagnostic spell. Was he just sitting here, with his unconscious, defenceless friend, waiting to die? He sighed, what could he do? He wasn't going to leave his friend but if he continued to apparate with an unconscious body, he would exhaust himself. The wards he had set were good, they had served him well so far. So reason would stand they would continue to serve him well. He would just have to wait. Wait for Sirius to come around, that's if he ever did. Sighing, he picked up the dog-eared book that lay in the corner of the tent. _'Lord of the Rings; The Return of the King'._ Well, he thought, I've got nothing else to do, as he flicked open the book.

He shivered slightly, as he felt himself return to the conscious world. He felt as though he'd either been trampled by a herd of hippogriffs, or had a brutal case of dragonpox, or perhaps both. He struggled to blink his eyes; his eyelids felt so heavy. It was as though a giant was sitting on his chest whilst poking him with a stick. His head felt like it was going to explode. He shivered again, he felt so cold, as though he'd never be warm again. He groaned as the light filtered through his barely open eyes, like a knife to his skull.

"Sirius!" James exclaimed, hearing the first signs of life from his friend. "Mate!" He frowned when he was only met with a groan. "Sirius! Padfoot!" he called out urgently, shaking him gently.

Sirius groaned again, dragging a heavy hand up to his eyes. He forced his sluggish brain to cooperate, to work out why he was here and why he felt like death warmed up.

"Sirius!" James practically yelled.

"James, please," Sirius said in a near whisper.

"Are you okay? What happened?" James demanded.

"James…"

"Sirius!"

"Please James," Sirius pleaded. "Please mate," he said in a near whisper, as he sat up, letting his head fall into his hands.

"What the hell happened?"

Sirius closed his eyes, as each word felt like a white hot knife to his skull. He shivered again. "Just give me a minute," he whispered.

"Okay, but…" James started, but trailed off as Sirius held up his hand. "Mate, are you okay?"

"Apart from feeling as though I got in a bar fight with Hagrid and have the world's worst hangover, yeah, I guess I'm okay," Sirius finally said, slightly licking his dry lips as he spoke. "We didn't go out drinking did we?"

"No," James said slowly, looking at his friend with concern.

"No, of course not, horcruxes," Sirius replied quietly, as he rubbed his temples. "Did we actually destroy it?"

"Yeah," James said as he slowly withdrew the broken and soot stained locket from his pocket.

Sirius looked at the locket for a moment before replying. "Thought we'd done with this and all," he said, as he pointed to his head.

"Sirius?"

"It happens when horcruxes get destroyed."

"What happens?" James demanded.

"I get affected by it."

"What the hell?"

"James, please," Sirius whispered, closing his eyes again and resting his head against his hands.

"Fine," James hissed in a near whisper. "But what the hell?! When I asked if there is anything I should know, didn't you think it pertinent that this might be something I should know?!"

"Sorry, okay."

"For fuck's sake Sirius! I spent the last three hours thinking I'd killed you. Or thinking you were dying and about a million things in between!"

"I was out for three hours?" Sirius said looking up.

"Yeah."

"Last time it was only an hour," Sirius replied quietly, resuming his previous position.

"Last time!?" James exclaimed, glaring at his friend. "You need to tell me what the fuck is going on, right now!"

"James…"

"Fine," James growled, as he dug into his bag. "Drink this."

"What is it?"

"Pepper-up."

"What? Isn't that for children with colds or something?"

"Shut up and drink it."

"Fine," Sirius snapped back. He would have rolled his eyes but he reckoned the pain wasn't worth it. Necking the shot in one gulp, he returned his glare. But as he did his vision became clearer and more in focussed. The blinding headache faded, and the aches faded.

"Helped?"

"Yeah, thanks."

"So, what should you have told me?" James demanded, eyeballing his friend.

Sirius sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I, well the first, the only time it happened, was when Moody and I destroyed a horcrux."

"Wait, you've destroyed one?"

Sirius nodded. "Yeah, Voldemort's acceptance letter to Hogwarts. Look mate, I'm sorry I didn't mention I'd destroyed a horcrux until now."

"It's okay, I'm sure you had your reasons."

"But…"

"Sirius, you had your reasons. Sure, I would've loved to have known, but it's okay. What made me..." James stopped and sighed for a moment. "It's just, before we destroyed that horcrux, I would have liked to have known you were affected by them, that's all."

"I'm sorry, I just, I don't know."

"It's okay," James replied, patting his friend's shoulder. "Just, me not knowing you'd react to a horcrux being destroyed could have put us in a very dangerous situation."

"Fuck, mate I'm so sorry, I didn't even think of that," Sirius exclaimed, looking away for a moment. "I was, I don't know, I wasn't even sure it would happen again. It was when I had caught that virus that was going around."

James nodded, he remembered it well. Everyone in his department had it at one stage. He could remember a summoning from Moody, receiving it with the same nervous fear he'd had when he was an auror. Sirius hadn't been overly ill, he probably should not have been at the office type thing, but he didn't look as though he'd passed out and been unresponsive for an hour.

"You think I'm being stupid."

"No," James replied, shaking his head. "Just when Moody told me to take you home, was that after you had destroyed the horcrux?"

"Yeah," Sirius said nodding.

"He destroyed it whilst you had a virus?"

"Yeah," Sirius said with a shrug. "I hadn't been badly affected by the virus. Sure, I felt a little run down, but nothing that would concern me. I still continued to work in the field, and believe me I wouldn't do that if I thought I was compromised."

"So, it was unlikely it was the virus," James stated, carefully eyeing his friend. "Everything pointed towards the horcrux."

Sirius took a careful sip of water before replying. "I guess, but I think we, I know I was, in denial. It was the first one we destroyed; we didn't have any data to go on. Now, we have destroyed the second one, I guess we can safely say I'm affected by them. You saw what it did when it was alive…"

"I did," James started. "But…" He started and stopped again. He ran his tongue over his lips for a moment, as he pondered his next words. "Well, you were alone with it for so long, and with the pressures you are under… I wonder if it's not so much the horcrux, but the extreme stress you are under."

Sirius nodded. "Probably," he replied simply.

"Not that I don't think the horcrux affected you, and I think it would to a lesser degree if you had someone to share the burden, but, well yeah."

"That was profound."

"Piss off Padfoot," James laughed. "No, I just think the horcrux certainly played a part, I just don't think it's the sole reason."

"Thanks and sorry," Sirius said dipping his head.

"Well, you wouldn't be a brother if you didn't piss me off," James laughed, grinning from ear to ear. "Shall we have a celebratory meal?"

"Sure, what do you have?'

"Well, we have," James said slowly, as he dug in and withdrew something with great panache. "We have a can of the most delightful Tesco's spaghetti hoops."

"Great," Sirius said, looking wistfully out the tent door.

"Piss off," James exclaimed, throwing the book at his friend.

"You've been reading this?" Sirius asked, picking up the dog-eared book.

"Well, whilst you were catching up on your beauty sleep, yes."

"Did you enjoy it?"

"Still trying to figure a lot of things out. I get the ring is evil and needs to be destroyed, but how are they suddenly in Mordor?"

"It's the third book of a trilogy," Sirius replied, taking another careful sip of water.

"That would explain a lot. Bunch of lightweights really," James mused.

"What?"

"So the ring has to be destroyed or Sauron will achieve global domination, right? But they only have one to destroy, we have six. We still have to find potentially four more."

"You must have been bored."

"Plus what kind of wizard is this Gandalf? Surely you just apparate straight to Mount Doom, drop the ring in, job done and be back in time for last orders," James said with a slight grin.

"You're such an idiot."

"Ha! Genius you mean," James said as he sat up and flung an arm around his friend's shoulders.

"Yeah," Sirius said slowly, his voice trailing off towards the end. His head dropped slightly as he thought about what he was going to say next. "Mate, the horcruxes."

"No," James said quickly, raising his hand to silence his friend. "No, we destroyed one today, so we are going to take the rest of the day off from them."

"No James, we need to discuss them. Maybe not what they are and where they might be, but we need to discuss them all the same. I've been hunting them alone for so long, I've forgotten what it's like to have a partner. Like when I was an auror, I did a lot of work solo, then you joined." Sirius sighed and put down the flask of water. "You need questions answered. I didn't even think my potential reaction should have been mentioned, but how wrong was I?

"But…?"

"No James, what do you need to know?"

James sighed and leant back against the nearby cupboard. "I don't know. Maybe, okay," he said sitting up, staring at his friend. "Okay, what happens to you when a horcrux is destroyed?"

Sirius took a breath and paused for a moment as he pondered his thoughts. "I guess it feels like I've been hit by the whomping willow, slammed straight into a wall and then the wolf's attacked me. Then it's darkness and blank."

"Until you come around and feel as if you've been in a fight with Hagrid and hungover?"

"Yeah, basically yes."

"But nothing else? I mean last time you were a little shaky and out of it for the rest of the day, but the next morning you were fine."

Sirius nodded. "I don't know how much of that was the virus and how much the horcrux, but I'm still a little run down now, just like I'm recovering from the flu or something."

"Okay, but visions, pain or anything?" James asked nervously.

"Are you worried the horcrux found a new host?" Sirius asked, watching his friend. "No," he said shaking his head. "No I don't think so. I think, well I would like to think I would know if another horcrux embedded itself in me, but honestly, I don't know. I don't think it has, but who knows?"

James nodded again. "Okay, that's fine. We just need to have everything packed up and attached to you when we destroy the next one. That way I just need to grab you and apparate straight out of there."

"Okay," Sirius said slowly. "James, is there anything else you need to know?"

"Nope," James said shaking his head.

"James…?"

"No, we are not going to mention those bloody things until tomorrow. Plus we have a celebration meal to look forward to; spaghetti hoops on stale bread," James replied with a huge grin.

"Great…" Sirius replied with a smile. "What I've always been looking forward to."

"Supplies are low mate, it's all I can I offer and I don't think Padfoot should go hunting tonight."

"No, but we'll buy some supplies tomorrow."

"How?" James replied, pulling out the light envelope. "I'm almost out of Muggle money and we can't exactly skip into the wizarding world for supplies!"

"It's fine, I've got a Muggle bank account. The goblins are ensuring it always has a certain amount of money in it," Sirius replied calmly.

"What?! Surely the Ministry will use it to track us!?" James exclaimed.

"They won't. The goblins will never give them the information. My vault is one of the oldest there, and as long as there's gold in it, the goblins won't care," Sirius said simply, as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Fine," James sighed. "What do you reckon, a couple of glamour charms?"

"I reckon so, it'll be like when we were aurors," Sirius said grinning. "Can you remember when Moody was disguised as that old woman?"

James laughed. "Yeah, he was in a foul mood for weeks!"

"Well, you did make the mistake of laughing," Sirius said with a raised eyebrow.

"You miss him don't you?"

"Yeah," Sirius replied quietly. "He did a lot for me."

"He was kind of like a father figure to you, wasn't he?"

Sirius nodded slowly with a slight smile. "Growing up I never really had anyone. My uncle was great, but he was barely there. My parents hated him and thought him a bad influence. They only invited him to formal family events out of obligation. But in the space of a couple of years, I suddenly had your parents and Moody. I never really had any direction before then. I just knew I wanted to do the opposite of whatever they did. It was your parents and later Moody who taught me that all my anger and energy wasn't wrong, it was just misdirected and undisciplined. That I was intelligent and talented, I just lacked direction."

"You are still legendary for the fact that you are the only person to be recruited to the auror department straight from school."

"Yeah, it still didn't stop me from fucking up."

"No, but you survived and you somehow rebuilt your life. Do you wish Moody was here rather than me?"

"No."

"Why? You've destroyed one horcrux together, surely he would have been the safer bet."

"Little problem there mate, he's dead."

James sighed. "You know what I mean. Hypothetically speaking, if he was alive would you have preferred him to me on this mission?"

"No," Sirius said shaking his head. "Would I have liked him somewhere in the background, so I could still ask questions? Sure. There's no escaping the fact, he was a far more powerful, knowledgeable wizard than both of us. He cared about me greatly, but in the end, I needed something else. We are dealing with some really dark magic. We are dealing with our mortality. It sounds stupid, but I needed someone who could make me laugh and forget about what we're dealing with."

"So I'm just along for comic relief, despite the fact I'm dragging your unconscious arse to safety," James said with a grin and raised eyebrow.

"Yup, and I needed someone of inferior intelligence, it makes me feel better," Sirius said grinning.

"Piss off," James laughed. "So where are we picking up supplies tomorrow?"

"Sittingbourne," Sirius replied. "We'll get noticed here but Sittingbourne is large enough and a commuter town, so we should be able to slip through unnoticed."

"Well until then, it's spaghetti hoops on stale bread," James said, as he opened the can. "Merlin, what I'd give for some proper food."

"Tell me about it," Sirius replied, as he started to hack away at the bread with his wand. "Tomorrow mate, tomorrow we'll eat like kings."


	36. Chapter 36

Finally, the return of Secret Keeper. My apologies for the delay in updating, my muse was occupied by my other fic, 'In Darkness, where fear and shadows lie'. Anyway, here you go.

As always a huge thank you to Ambush99 for her wonderful betaing skills!

 **Chapter 36**

"Wow, this is amazing," James said through a mouthful of steak.

"Told you it would be a piece of cake," Sirius replied, as he wiped a chip around the plate, soaking up any remnant juices.

"What was that thing you used to pay?"

"A bank card."

"But I thought Muggles used paper money."

Sirius sighed and then laughed. "Really mate, you should have taken Muggle studies."

"Why? When I was going to marry the smartest Muggle-born witch there is," James said with a grin.

"And clearly you have learnt so much," Sirius said sarcastically.

"I have, okay."

"Really? Because I think I remember your meeting with Lily's sister and husband being an unmitigated disaster."

"It's not my fault he's a troll and she's a hard-nosed git."

"True," Sirius said grinning. "But it may have helped you with the Muggle money and shopping back there."

"And you learnt that in Muggle Studies?" James asked through raised eyebrows.

"Admittedly not, I had to learn most of it later, as Wizarding education bases their perspective of the Muggle world on about 1900."

"Precisely," James said grinning. "Anyway, work smarter, not harder, Sirius old boy."

"You're such a lazy git."

"No, a smart, resourceful individual."

Sirius sighed and shook his head. "I sometimes think the wizarding world is backwards at times. Take how we write papers; with a piece of old parchment and a quill?! How many times has the pot of ink exploded in your bag? How many times have you had to attempt to read someone's shit handwriting?"

"So, what does Minister Black propose?"

"Piss off."

"What? You're the youngest head of department the aurors have ever had. So Minister isn't a huge leap."

Sirius looked down and away for a moment. "Little bit of a problem there, mate," he said quietly.

"Oh shit, sorry Sirius, I didn't think. I'm so sorry!"

"James, it's okay," Sirius said, holding up his hands.

"I'm sorry Sirius, I just-"

"Anyway, me as Minister of Magic?!" Sirius said with a bark-like laugh. "Nah, I'm way too much of a gobby shite."

"Anyway, what do you propose instead of parchment and quill?"

"Computers."

"What, the box type thing with another glowing box?"

"Yeah," Sirius replied, frowning at his friend's somewhat interesting description.

"Ministry tried one, but it blew up."

"Really?"

"Apparently so."

"Blew up or was blown up?"

"That my friend, is the question. With the good old Minister using it, it was probably blown up. But I agree with you, it sometimes seems our world is stuck in the past and is frightened to progress," James said thoughtfully.

Sirius rubbed his face. Whilst he enjoyed the light-hearted banter with his best friend, time was a luxury they did not have. "So, where do you think we should go next?"

"What?!" James replied, confused at Sirius' sudden change of conversation.

"Where do you think the next horcrux is?" Sirius replied tiredly, not looking up.

"I think, I think a better question is what is the next horcrux," James said calmly, eyeing his friend with concern. "We've, well you've destroyed two and there's four more."

"Five," Sirius correct.

James made a face. "Let's not talk about that."

Sirius sighed. "We know what and where one is, as it's in this tent."

"Sirius!" James exclaimed.

"Prongs, we can't keep pretending. I am a horcrux. There is no cure other than death by Voldemort's hand."

"For fuck's sake I know that Padfoot, but please!" James exclaimed desperately.

"Fine!" Sirius snapped.

"Padfoot please. I know it's selfish, I'm just struggling with the fact my best mate, who escaped Voldemort, who sacrificed so much for me, has to be murdered by that bastard in order for the rest of us to be safe. In order for the rest of us to be free."

"I'm sorry," Sirius said quietly, looking down again.

"It's okay," James said equally quietly. "So, the four other horcruxes…"

"Voldemort's snake, that will have to be the final one," Sirius started.

"The Hufflepuff Cup," James said, tabbing his fingers, as though he was counting off a list. "The Ravenclaw Diadem."

"Which has been long since lost."

"Oh, aren't we a little ray of sunshine," James said, rolling his eyes.

Sirius shot James a glare. "One more then," he replied, ignoring James' comment. "Hogwarts was the first place that felt like home to him, hence the letter and other Hogwarts artefacts. He loves snakes, so that would figure as one. He fucked up when it came to me."

"We've got to think like him. Pureblood obsessed. Loves the dark arts. Is not above murder or torture."

"Mate, you've described my family."

"Sirius, I-"

"Don't worry about it," Sirius replied, shaking his head, cutting James off. "Why the hell do you think I ran away?"

"Because they had done one of the last things, and it was only a matter of time before they murdered you."

Sirius looked away for a moment. "I need to think like my family," he said quietly.

"Sirius, I-"

"What Prongs? I was in that house for sixteen years. I was forced to listen to their racist, bigoted, foul crap for sixteen years. They actually invited the bastard around to fucking supper!"

"Sirius, I don't think it's a good idea, it damn near broke you last time," James cut in.

"I was sixteen last time," Sirius retorted.

"I don't care," James snapped. "It damn near broke you and I had to pick up the pieces. You've got too much shit happening to you. You've been through too much."

"And what?! You think I've gone soft in the head!?" Sirius growled.

"Shit Padfoot, give me a bloody break! No, I don't think you've bloody gone 'soft in the head', far fucking from it. I'm just saying, shit I don't know," James said sighing, as he raked his hands through his dishevelled hair. "Mate, it's just too bloody unfair. Why you?! Your childhood was hell. You had two years living at mine whilst we were at Hogwarts, but hey there was a war brewing. Then we were actually at war-"

"Prongs, I know my life story," Sirius said, cutting James off.

"I know," James said fiercely. "I'm just saying it's unfair."

"Life is unfair," Sirius said in a near whisper. He paused and took a breath as he tried to collect himself. "The horcrux has to mean something to Voldemort. He's a sick, twisted bastard, but we know that. I don't believe he had the ability to love. He treated all of his death eaters, including my cousin, with disdain. Maybe it was just in my presence but, he just seemed so cold and heartless. I know our opinions are polar opposite to him, but even setting that aside, I honestly don't believe he loves anyone, or knows how to."

James nodded. Sirius had never said so much about Voldemort before. Aside from the death eaters, Sirius knew Voldemort better than anyone else. "I don't think he would have made another horcrux from anything Hogwarts related. His childhood-". James paused for a moment, not knowing how to broach the next topic.

"I don't have anything of sentimental value from Grimmauld Place. My Hogwarts letter, when I knew I was going to escape. The train ticket your dad brought me at Paddington, when he told me I could stay as long as I wanted and I would be safe. The watch they gave me. The lighter you and Lily gave me at your wedding, but nothing from the first sixteen years of my life."

James swallowed hard. He knew his friend's childhood had been hard, but at times he did not appreciate how tough it was. He had countless items linked to happy memories, yet his best friend linked a paper train ticket to one of his greatest memories. "So," he started slowly. "We need to look at his life after Hogwarts. I know he tried to get a job at Hogwarts but was turned down by Dumbledore. I know he got a job at Borgin and Burkes."

"Yeah, I remember you mentioning that. He graduated top of his class, so it always seemed strange to me," Sirius mused, rubbing his beard.

"What would be worthwhile, or sentimental to him?"

"Something dark and evil?"

"Something dark and evil, at Borgin and Burkes. Shit Sirius you surprise me with your supreme observations skills."

"Piss off." Sirius licked his lips. "Prongs we need to go to Borgin and Burkes."

"You're taking the piss, right? You do realise you are probably the most wanted person in the wizarding world and I'm not far behind you. Whilst Voldemort might be able to walk into the shop, you and I are renowned for our anti dark arts stance," James said slowly, sucking air between his teeth. "Plus, I'm guessing the bastard would have removed it from the shop. I doubt he would want it to fall into the wrong hands."

"You're right, but what the fuck did he use?! I agree with you, the final horcrux is from Borgin, but what?"

"Mate, I have no idea but I reckon, regardless, we don't hang around here."

"I agree, but where next?"

"Channel Islands?" James suggested.

"Jersey?"

James nodded. "Are you ready?" He watched Sirius nod before apparating on the spot. As soon as he landed, he knew he had made a mistake. "Sirius!" he yelled, as a jet of light flew past his head.

"Fuck," Sirius swore as he dived behind a rock. "James!" He looked wildly around for any sign of his best friend.

"At your nine o'clock," James yelled back. "What do you reckon? Classic counter attack?"

Sirius exhaled slowly, knowing his friend was still alive. He took a moment to look around. He could identify at least ten death eaters, not terrible, but he knew it was only a matter of time before more arrived. The main question was, was it bad luck, or had they been waiting for them? "Back to back?" he yelled, before quickly rolling towards James. "You alright mate?"

"Yeah. But what the fuck?! Is this bad luck, or have we walked into a trap?"

"That's what I was thinking," Sirius acknowledged. "Do you want to take the left or the right flank?"

"I'll take the left. You ready?" James watched his friend nod. "Okay, one, two, three…" He exploded up, taking a moment to identify his target. "Stupefy!" he yelled, as he pressed his back closer to Sirius'. "Like old times, mate!"

Despite the situation, Sirius bit back a laugh. "Yeah, you and me, outnumbered and fighting death eaters. It was what we were born to do. Petrificus Totalus," he said, directing it towards the rapidly approaching death eater.

"Expelliarmus," James said with a flick of his wand. "So, when is your psycho cousin going to turn up?"

"Hopefully never," Sirius retorted. "Do you reckon we can apparate yet?"

James looked quickly around, before shooting off a couple of hexes. "Not yet mate, we need to distract them, or we'll be in just the same situation a few seconds later."

Sirius found himself rolling his eyes as a death eater apparated to his left. Rodolphus Lestrange he thought, just what I need. "Everte Statum," he yelled, watching the death eater fly up into the air and slam hard against a large oak tree.

"Sirius Black," Rodolphus sneered, twirling his wand more than necessary. "As I live and breath. So great to see you."

"Can't say the feeling is mutual," Sirius bit back, one eye focused on Rodolphus, the other on two death eaters to his right. "Where's your wife? Finally got her dream and shagging the big V man."

"Fuck off!"

Sirius ducked as a jet of red light shot over him. "Did I hit a nerve there Rod? Does she even look at you anymore? Stupefy," he just managed, seeing a death eater at the last moment. "Bella always like powerful men, so fuck knows why she married you. Oh wait, it was arranged."

"Sod you, you dirty, fucking blood traitor," Rodolphus swore, shooting off wild curses.

"Seriously mate, do you really have to go and piss off your family members?" James said through the corner of his mouth.

"Only through marriage," Sirius said with a grin. "Anyway, I reckon we should probably get out of-." But his words were caught in his mouth. He felt a hand shove him out of the way and then felt a body collapse on him. "James?" he whispered.

"I'm fine Padfoot," James said in a tight voice, as he slumped against his friend. He felt warm blood pouring over his chest. "I'm fine."

Sirius looked down. "Fuck!" he swore. "Fuck! James! Prongs, mate you need to stay awake!" he said in a shaky voice. He watched his friend briefly close his eyes. He was here because of him. He couldn't let him die. James was his brother. He needed to get them out of here. "Mate, I'm going to get you out of here, but you have to stay awake, okay." He ducked down and wrapped his arms around his best friend and took a breath. "Bombarda," he yelled, shielding James' body as his explosive spell ripped around them. He thought about his destination. The place he never wanted to step foot in again, but a place he knew he would be safe. He closed his eyes, holding his friend tightly, and apparated to his childhood home.


	37. Chapter 37

My muse is feeling far more inspired by Secret Keeper now, as well as Darkness, my other fic. I've got three other ideas, but think it's probably best to finish these two before moving onto new fics.

A massive thank you to Ambush99 for her continued support and fantastic betaing skills!

 **Chapter 37**

Somehow he managed to land on the top step, his friend's unconscious body leaning heavily against him. Tapping the door with his wand, he staggered through the door using the wall to support him. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good," he declared as the dark shadow rushed up to him. With his uttered words the shadow quickly dispersed. "James," he whispered, shaking his unconscious friend. "Fuck," he swore gently when he got no response. Carefully setting him down in the corridor, he quickly checked him over. There was a large, deep gash across his chest, with blood still flowing freely from the wound. Ever since his last encounter with his cousin, and with the impending war, both he and James had taken the time to study the art of healing. During Auror training they had done enough to pass. He guessed at the time they were young and arrogant, believing they would never get hurt. But as the twisting events of time influenced their lives, they knew this wasn't the case. They were human. They were mortal.

Bending down over his friend, he muttered a couple of words. Watching the wound slowly close itself, he sank back onto his heels and breathed a sigh of relief. "What the hell were you doing, James? That curse was meant for me," he whispered to the quiet corridor. He sat there staring at his friend's bloodied and unconscious form for a moment, before the chill in the air pulled him out of his thoughts. Come on Sirius, he told himself, I know you hate this place but what other option did you have? James was going to bleed to death and as hateful and as horrible as this place is, at least it's safe.

"Levicorpus," he muttered at his friend's still form, as he slowly stood. He knew he wouldn't have the strength to carry James upstairs. He was utterly mentally and physically exhausted. He made slow progress upstairs, trying hard not to stumble. Eventually he made it to his room. Whether it had seen months or years of disuse, it didn't seem to matter. He carefully levitated his friend down, so he was leaning against him. "Tergeo," he muttered, flicking his wand at the bed, watching as the dust removed itself. With some difficulty, he hauled James onto the bed. Removing his glasses and wand, he set them on the bedside, before covering him with the duvet. Checking him over one final time, he exhaled slowly. James was fine, passed out, but he was alive and not in any immediate danger.

He rummaged in James' bag for the blood replenishing potion, but all the time he could feel his eyelids growing heavy. He knew his house was probably the safest and most defended house in the whole of wizarding Britain, but he could not help but worry. James was unconscious, and even when he regained consciousness, he would be weak for a while. He had to defend them. Just as James had protected him after they had destroyed the horcrux.

Finally, he sat back on the bed and watched his friend for a moment. The slow rise and fall of his chest. He looked several shades paler than he was normally, but he was alive. He needed to stay awake and in order to do that he needed, "Kreacher," he yelled.

There was a loud pop and a sunken looking creature appeared. Its skin took on a greyish appearance, seemingly fading into the filthy tea towel it wore like a toga. "Oh dear mistress, that stain and disappointment has returned. The one who broke your heart has returned with his nasty blood traitor friend. But Kreacher has to serve the nasty brat, the one who befriends mudbloods and werewolves."

"Shut up," Sirius hissed. "You will not use those words in this house."

"Yes master, of course master," Kreacher muttered. "Foul, blood traitor sits there as bold as brass. Oh mistress, if you could only see what poor Kreacher has to do."

"Yeah, I've been wondering that myself. The place is in a state!"

"Of course master," Kreacher muttered darkly.

"Kreacher, I need a coffee," Sirius demanded, not doing anything to hide the venom from his voice. If the truth be told, he didn't have any issues with house elves. The ones at Hogwarts were always friendly and helpful, always more than happy to give the Marauders any food they wanted. Julie, the Potter's elf had been nothing short of perfect. But then there was Kreacher. He didn't know if it was the elf's attitude, its love for his hateful mother or the painful, hated memories it brought back. He just despised the elf and he knew the feeling was mutual.

The elf returned with a mug of scalding liquid, which Sirius presumed was coffee. It barely resembled any coffee he had ever drunk, but then the elf had never been overly skilled in the cooking department. Grimacing, he took another large swig, wincing as scalding, bitter liquid made its way slowly down his throat. He hated being back in his childhood home. The place held nothing but darkness for him. His family and their obsession with pure blood ideology and the dark arts. His parents and their harsh words, and cruel ways. The lack of food. Being forced to stay in the dark, depressing house, day after day just in case, god forbid, he came in contact with a muggle. But in the middle of all of this was his brother, Reg. Yes, James was his brother in all but blood. James had been the one to save him from the hellholes he had escaped from, whether that be from the foul house or the prison Voldemort had held him in. James had been the one who had sat with him night after night when the nightmares had dragged him from his fitful, disturbed slumber. James had been the one who had reminded him to eat when he wondered what the point was. What had Reg done? He closed his eyes and rubbed his drawn, tired face. There had been a time, before Hogwarts, he had been close to his brother. It had been him and Reg against the world. They had slayed dragons together and gone on wild adventures. They had sat at boring family gatherings trying not to laugh. Then he had been sorted into Gryffindor and Reg into Slytherin, and everything had changed. They grew distant. At times it seemed they hated each other, but he didn't stop caring for his brother. He could never stop loving his brother. He knew he should have tried harder to steer his brother away from taking the mark, but what choice had Reg had? As an impulsive, immature eighteen year old, Sirius had been livid with Reg for taking the mark but, upon reflection, his attitude had shifted. He could escape to Gryffindor, whilst his brother was surrounded by potential death eaters in Slytherin. In the holidays he could escape to James', a fixture that later became permanent, whilst Reg was shut in the darkened hellhole that was their childhood home. But, despite everything, his little brother had turned his back on Voldemort at the cost of his own life. Reg had arguably done more for the war effort than any other single person. When this was all over he would ensure Reg's sacrifice would be recognised and honoured. He drew small comfort from the fact they would be reunited again in death.

James blinked several times. He felt groggy and his head pounded. What the hell had happened? He remembered apparating, then all hell had broken loose. He shifted slightly. It felt soft and comfortable, certainly not the lumpy camping mat he had grown accustomed to. Someone was shifting him, helping him to sit up.

"Here drink this, it'll help."

He grimaced as he drank the bitter, coppery-tasting liquid. But it helped. The grogginess subsided, the pounding lessened. Something was brought towards his eyes, and his vision cleared. "Sirius?"

"No, it's Professor McGonagall. Of course it's me you dingbat!" Sirius joked.

"What?" James started, as he slowly looked around, noting the posters of semi naked Muggle women straddled on motorbikes. "Why are we at your house?"

"Because, because it was the first place I thought of."

"I told you Sirius, I didn't want you to ever go back there," James started, as he pushed back and glared at his friend.

"Oh, I don't know, when you were there bleeding all over the place and we were surrounded by fucking death eaters I got us out of there. I took us to the first place I knew we would be bloody safe. I don't fucking like it here either, but you weren't up to defending yourself. You still aren't!" Sirius yelled, jumping off the bed. He balled up a fist and punched the wall, wincing slightly as his knuckles tore through the plasterboard.

"I just don't like you being here. I don't like what it does to you. What it makes you go through!" James replied, in a slightly softer voice, as he carefully stood, testing his weight.

"Fine Prongs. Next time you're bleeding all over me, next time you're dying in my arms, I'll make sure I find a nice, safe, happy death eater free house," Sirius snapped, as he stormed towards the door. "I briefly thought of your house, but I didn't want to bring fifty death eaters to your village and put everyone in danger!" Without a further word, he stormed out the room.

James sighed and let his head fall into his hands. Sirius had always been volatile, and it was only made worse when he was around or discussing his family. He had known this and he had bloody blown it. Sure he felt like crap, but pushing Sirius on key trigger points was never going to end well. He pushed himself to his feet and followed his irate friend downstairs.

"Padfoot," he said softly, as he reached the kitchen. "Mate, I'm sorry, okay."

"It's fine, James," Sirius said through gritted teeth, as he paced up and down the room.

"Sirius, I, we never stopped looking for you. I'm sorry we never found you, but we never stopped looking for you." He watched his friend stop pacing for a moment and took this as a sign to continue. "I can't even begin to imagine how hard it must have been for you. God Sirius, what you went through, but it was hell for us as well. Not knowing what happened to you. Not knowing if you were alive." James stopped again and ran a hand through his dishevelled hair. "I kept trying to be positive. I kept willing you to be alive but as the years went on, it became harder."

"Prongs, look," Sirius started, his head hanging down, his eyes fixed on a small stain on the floor. He idly wondered what it was and why it hadn't been cleared up.

"You went after Pete because he was our friend. You thought you could help him. Shit mate, if our roles had been reversed, I'd probably have done the same."

"Prongs, I, well," Sirius said quietly, as he stubbed his foot over the stain. He swallowed, and slowly turned to face his friend. "How long did you look for me?"

"Until the 31st October 1994," James replied without hesitation.

Sirius frowned. "Why then?"

"Because that's when you returned. The 31st October 1994 at ten past eight."

"What happened?"

"Sorry mate?"

"After Pete faking his death and me being blamed for it."

James sighed and leant against the dusty table. He absent-mindedly began to trace circles in the grimy surface. "It was tough. I became obsessed. I couldn't think or do anything else."

" _Pete's dead and Sirius is gone," Remus said in a hollow voice, barely able to make eye contact with his last remaining friend._

" _What?" James stumbled out, leaning heavily against the kitchen counter top. Both shocked at the news and his friend's sudden appearance on that mizzly, wind swept night. The type of night common to the south west of England, when the rain, although fine, seems to get into every layer of clothing you own._

" _Voldemort is gone."_

" _Moony? Moony, I don't understand."_

" _They think Sirius killed Pete then joined his master."_

" _What the fuck Moony? Sirius would never kill Pete! He's never used the killing curse even when we've been outnumbered by God knows how many death eaters. And his master?! What the fuck Moony?! Who the hell is 'his master'?" James practically spat._

" _Voldemort."_

" _What?! What the fuck does he need to do?! His supposed family are fucking death eaters but he isn't. He's a highly respected auror. He's one of the best we've got. Hell will freeze over before Sirius Black becomes a death eater. Voldemort will start handing out lollipops to Muggle children before Sirius betrays his friends!" James yelled, smashing the crystal tumbler on the table, barely aware of it shattering, nor feeling the firewhiskey stinging the small cuts._

" _Prongs!" Remus growled under his breath. "Listen to me. Voldemort is gone. Sirius disappeared six weeks ago."_

" _What?" James managed, staring open mouthed at his friend. "What? How? Pete?"_

" _Sit."_

" _No fucking way am I sitting! You just told me a friend was murdered six weeks ago and my brother has been missing for six weeks. Do you understand anything about missing persons cases?! The first forty eight hours is critical! But fuck, let's wait, fuck, whatever hours is six weeks before we fucking bloody look for Padfoot," James exploded, kicking the small, oak coffee table to one side. "Do you know what the hell they could have done to him in that time?!"_

 _Remus grabbed James roughly and threw him onto the sofa, pinning him there. "I know Padfoot has fucked up in the past but that was when he was a scared sixteen year old. Do you think I think he did those things?"_

" _I don't know Moony, do you?" James snapped back. "How the hell did you get here?"_

" _Dumbledore gave me the address," Remus said quietly._

" _Yes, and that address was only charmed to appear if Voldemort fell from power. Did you try and contact us before?" James managed, his voice tight and barely under control._

" _Yes, but I couldn't," Remus replied in a quiet voice. "The fidelius charm!"_

" _Do you know who our Secret Keeper was?"_

" _Dumbledore?"_

" _No," James said biting back a bitter laugh. "Sirius was, Sirius is our Secret Keeper. The fidelius charm is still in place which means Sirius protected us at all costs, but he's still alive. If Voldemort has gone, the death eaters are going to be pretty pissed off and who are they going to take it out on?"_

" _Sirius," Remus said in a near whisper. "Sorry, I just thought…"_

" _He was the spy?" James offered, anger still dripping from each word._

" _Yeah," Remus replied quietly._

" _Funny, Sirius thought it could be you," James replied with slightly raised eyebrows. "Why did you think it was Padfoot?"_

" _Pete."_

 _James nodded. "That's what Padfoot said. He played us, the fucking rat played us. He was nervous and twitchy." James sighed at Remus' raised eyebrows before quickly adding, "Okay, more than normal, but I thought it was just Pete being Pete. He never did well under pressure."_

" _Fine, but Prongs, Wormy? Are you serious? They want to posthumously award him the Order of Merlin, First Class."_

 _James found himself frowning again, his temper barely under control. "For what?"_

" _Trying to stop Sirius."_

" _Stop Sirius from doing what?"_

" _Selling you to Voldemort!"_

" _Ha!" James laughed. It was caught short by Remus' look. "You can't be serious! Sirius would never betray us. He would die before he did."_

" _It looks like Sirius went to meet Pete in Guilford."_

" _I don't understand, what the hell were they doing there?"_

" _I have no idea," Remus replied calmly, still eyeing his friend with concern._

" _Did they have a funeral for Pete?" James asked, rubbing his face as the gravity of the situation began to sink in._

" _Yeah, well with what was left of him."_

" _Left of him?" James replied in a shaky voice, as he stood, staring at Remus in disbelief._

" _All the hit wizards found was a finger, some blood and his robes," Remus informed him._

" _What? What the hell happened?"_

" _There was an explosion."_

" _And Sirius?"_

" _His wand."_

" _Okay, wait one second. Pete's wand was nowhere to be found but Sirius' was. If Sirius was a dark wizard as the stupid gits think he is, why didn't he take his wand? The thing that could link him to any crime he supposedly committed. Wait, please tell me they have checked his wand?" James said, as he stopped pacing for a moment._

 _Remus shook his head. "As far as I am aware they haven't, but I would be the last to know."_

 _James sighed and carefully picked up a photo. He smiled at it fondly for a moment. It was a photo of the Marauders in happier, more peaceful times. A time when the worst they had to worry about was getting in an essay and passing a test. Although in reality it hadn't been that simple, at least it hadn't been simple for his friends, Sirius and Remus. He grabbed his coat and started towards the door._

" _Mate, where are you going?"_

" _I don't know. The ministry, or somewhere," James said in an unsure voice._

" _James, stop. Think about it for a second. You at the very least need to tell Lily and your parents. What are you going to tell them?" Remus pushed._

" _I don't know but I have to help him. He's out there, all alone and they are hurting him. I need to help him. He's protected me. He's protected my family, I now need to help him," James said desperately._

 _Remus nodded. "I'll help you. The full moon was a couple of days ago, so we've got a month."_

" _Shit Moony, I-"_

 _Remus waved his hand dismissively. "Mate, you had a lot on your plate, we all have."_

" _Sorry Moony, it's just-"_

" _Sirius is your brother in all but blood. I get it. He's my friend as well. I don't know what happened, but we need to find him. I will help you."_

"I left the following day, I think it was 15th December. Moony forced me to return for Christmas, but it just didn't feel right. Celebrating Christmas when you were missing. Shit, when we started looking for you people were celebrating Voldemort's downfall. I just felt sick."

"Believe me it wasn't much better for me," Sirius said quietly, as he resumed stubbing his foot over the stain.

"Shit, Sirius I didn't mean to imply…"

"It's fine, Prongs," Sirius said dismissively. "I need to pop out and get some food."

"Padfoot?"

"We need food, Prongs," Sirius said, grabbing his jacket. "You stay here."

"No, wait Padfoot!"

"Stay here," Sirius said dangerous, as he gently pushed James onto the sofa. "And drink this," he finished, thrusting a goblet of blood replenishing potion into his friend's hands.

"Sirius!"

"Don't make me curse you! Just stay here, I won't be long."

James sighed, knowing he was fighting a losing battle. He knew, in his current state, he would do more harm than good following Sirius, but he couldn't help but worry.


	38. Chapter 38

So sorry for the huge delay in updating; work, travelling, life etc. But I've handwritten a lot, do I'm hoping to update more regularly.

As always a huge thank you has to go to Ambush99 for her continued amazing betaing skills.

 **Chapter 38**

James grimaced as he swallowed the last remaining mouthful of the bitter-tasting blood replenishing potion. He sighed and let his head fall into his arms. Yes, he had felt like shit. Yes, he had been groggy and as confused as hell, but to go off on Padfoot like that, in this house, what the hell had he been thinking?! The answer was, he hadn't been thinking, that much was evident. He got up and started pacing the room, testing his aching limbs. Padfoot had now pissed off to fuck-knows where, in a highly emotional state, whilst he was on the top of Voldemort and the Ministry's hit list. He had pretty much signed his best friend's death warrant. But what could he do right now? He didn't know the area, having only once taken public transport there, and at that time he had been too concerned Sirius would pass out to take in the route. The other times he had apparated. He knew what Sirius had said made sense - the place had countless wards. He doubted Hogwarts was much safer.

"Fuck!" he swore to the empty room. "Fuck you're such a stupid prick, James!"

He kicked the heavy case in frustration, and swore again. Raking his hands wildly through his untamed hair, he tried to come up with a plan. He needed to make himself useful whilst Sirius was out blowing off steam. But what to do? It was pointless cleaning the place, it would take an army of house elves at least a week. He couldn't cook, well there was no food, so he saved himself that excuse. He could. He stopped and bit his lip. He knew he would be stepping on very dangerous, emotional territory if he did, but if it was for the greater good... he sighed again. Regulus, Sirius' younger brother, had lived here until his untimely death. He had lived here when he had turned against Voldemort. He knew Sirius' relationship with his brother was complicated to say the least. There was still lots of unresolved anger, pain and guilt there, but he had to try.

A little while later he found himself standing in the space between Sirius and Regulus' rooms on the top floor. He'd never been to Grimmauld Place when they were kids, Sirius always coming to his house each holiday. Even recently, when Sirius had briefly lived here, he'd only been a handful of times, and in that time had only been to a couple of rooms. Regulus' room was not one of them. He placed his hand on the door handle and paused for a moment. Was this worth his friend's infamous temper? If it helped them destroy Voldemort, anything was worth it. He took a step back as his breath caught in his throat. If he destroyed Voldemort, Sirius would be dead. He knew Sirius claimed he had dealt with it, that he was okay with it, but he, James Potter, most certainly wasn't okay it. But what choice did they have? Sirius was a horcrux. He had a part of the bastard's soul embedded into his own. In order to destroy the horcrux, Sirius would have to die, and it would have to be by Voldemort's hand. He ran his hands through his wild, untamed hair and stepped back towards the door. He knew Sirius would be mad, but he could deal with that. They had destroyed two horcruxes, they had made an educated guess on three others, so one remained and with every passing day, Voldemort was growing in strength. Time wasn't on their side. They needed more information. With that thought in mind, James pushed forward and stepped into Regulus Black's room.

The room couldn't have been more different from his friend's. Whilst his friend's room was bright, messy and celebrated muggles, his brother's stood in stark contrast. It was dark, the heavy, deep green drapes hung elegantly around the bed. Slytherin posters and banners adorned the walls. The family crest stood out, stark and celebrated, unlike Sirius', where he highly suspected it was hidden behind the poster of the semi-naked Muggle women draped over a motorbike. The other thing he noticed was how clean and tidy it was, almost as though he had stepped into a shrine. It was evident who had been the favourite son. Regulus celebrated, Sirius forgotten. But in the end, both Black brothers would play key and prominent parts in Voldemort's downfall. Whilst the wizarding world would celebrate and honour them, their family would not.

Casting the thought out of his mind, he started to search through the room. He didn't know how long he'd been searching when he felt something click under his worn shoes. Frowning, he stepped back and stared at the dark green rug, Slytherin's snake staring back at him. Carefully pulling it back, he stared at the floorboards. Bending down, he tapped each one with his wand until he came to the loose one. He paused for a moment, wondering if it was safe, wondering if it was a trap. He shook his head, it was just a loose floorboard where a teenaged Regulus had hidden whatever teenaged Slytherins hid. Taking a hesitant breath, he pulled back the floorboard, as he slightly closed his eyes. Whatever he had been expecting, it wasn't what lay before him. Amongst the balled up, yellowing Daily Prophets was a plain photo frame, standing out in stark contrast to the heavily ornate and silver frames in the rest of the house. The other marked difference were the two unmoving boys in the photo. One, with his wide grin and equally wild hair, his arm slung around the younger boy's shoulders, was unmistakably Sirius, probably when he was twelve James thought, if he had to hasten a guess. The other with an equally wide grin had to be Regulus, looking unlike he had ever seen him. He had only ever seen Regulus looking perfectly posed and groomed, but this Regulus looked as wild as his brother. He couldn't help but smile looking at the two brothers at a happier, less complicated time in their lives. It was a time before all the hatred had poisoned their minds, but he knew Sirius had never stopped loving his brother and now James knew the feeling had been mutual. He carefully turned the frame around, frowning when he noted the slight bulge. With slightly trembling fingers, he released the catches and opened the back, revealing a neatly folded, yellowing parchment. 'Sirius', it was addressed in a familiar, neat, cursive handwriting. He wondered for a moment if he should read it, when it was undoubtedly a deeply personal letter from one brother to the other. But then, did he risk losing a potentially vital piece of information about Voldemort, when Sirius refused to read it? Fearing the latter, he carefully unfolded the parchment.

 _Sirius,_

 _If you are reading this, then I am dead. You were right, you were right about everything. I guess I was sucked in by mother and father's influence, and Bella's wild lies. I could blame it on the Slytherin Common Room chat, but I should have known better. You were and still are my hero. Growing up, you were always there for me, alway taking the blame for things I did so I wouldn't get hurt. When you ran away I was angry, but I now know it was the right choice, in fact the only choice you had. You were brave to stand up to the family for your beliefs, but I was not. I understood what you were saying, I started to believe it before I was forced to join the Dark Lord. Mother and father forced me to take the mark when I was sixteen. I know what you are going to do, you are going to blame yourself, but don't Sirius. I wasn't ready to leave home when you did, and I needed to make my own choices. Yes, they were the wrong ones but at least they were mine, especially at the end._

 _Enclosed is Voldemort's list of items he dropped at Borgin and Burkes. He dropped them there whilst I worked there. He seemed particularly cagey and protective over one item; a clock (it looks like the one from the Slytherin Common Room). Anyway, once I realised who he truly was and what the item could be (I think it's a Horcrux), I took it and hid it in the place we used to play Musketeers. Brother, words cannot express how much I love you and how sorry I am. You're my brother, my hero, my knight in shining armour and my fellow Musketeer._

 _All for one, and one for all._

 _Love Reggie._

James slowly folded the parchment, and leant his head against his hands. He expected personal, but this, well this was far more than he was expecting. What did he do now? He couldn't very well refold the letter and pretend he'd never read it. He knew Sirius would be angry, it didn't take a lot recently, but he didn't blame his friend. If the circumstances were reversed he doubted he would be reacting better, and that was with his perfect childhood, and the fact he hadn't been held in Voldemort's hellhole for thirteen years. He knew Sirius was slightly unhinged by it. Looking back on their lives, Sirius, as much as he tried to hide it, had been traumatised by his family. He had never got out of his friend what exactly happened when he had run away, but whatever had happened had scared his ballsy friend to the core.

He tensed slightly when he heard the door open. He knew it was Sirius, but his paranoid, war torn mind made him reach for his wand. With his wand in one hand and the photo frame in the other, he made it carefully downstairs.

"Sirius?" he called out cautiously.

"Yeah," a voice replied from the darkness. "Who did you think it would be, Voldemort?"

"What prank did we pull at the beginning of the fourth year?" James said, slamming him against the heavily oak-panelled wall.

"What the fuck?!"

"What prank did we do?" James demanded, his wand pressed into his friend's throat.

"We turned their clothes and table pink," Sirius replied tensely. Feeling the pressure release, he bit back another reply. "What the hell, Prongs?"

"We can't be too careful. What if you were a death eater?"

"In this hellhole?! It's my house, no one can enter apart from me and you. For fuck's sake mate!"

"I don't know how fucked up your family are. I don't know if there's a clause allowing that bitch of a cousin of yours in,"James replied tensely.

Sirius sighed and ran a tired hand through his hair. "Yeah. Sorry mate, I should have thought of that. And sorry about earlier, I know you were just trying to look out for me."

"It's alright mate, it was me who was the dick. Are you alright?"

"Yeah, I just needed some air."

James nodded. "And I see some shopping."

"Yup, a couple of frozen pizzas and some beers. Even you and I can't screw these up."

"Don't tempt fate Padfoot," James replied, swinging his arm around Sirius' shoulders. "Come on, let's see if anything works in that crappy kitchen of yours."

"What? You thought I was going to let you near anything involving cooking? I may hate the place, but that doesn't mean I want to see it burn to the ground. Nah, the most responsibility I'm going to give you is to open the beers. Do you think you can do that without breaking anything?" Sirius asked with a grin.

"Piss off, Padfoot," James replied with an equally broad grin, as he slapped his friend around the back of the head.

"What were you doing upstairs anyway?" Sirius asked casually.

"I'll explain in a bit."

"James?"

"Do you promise not to tell or go off on one?"

"That depends on the nature of the information," Sirius replied, attempting to keep his voice casual.

"I went into your brother's room," James said carefully, as he started to unpack the shopping bags, handing Sirius the flat cardboard boxes.

"Why?" Sirius replied with an edge to his voice.

"Well," James started slowly. "I thought with your brother's background..."

"He made a mistake okay! He wasn't always a bad person!" Sirius exclaimed.

"I know that and I don't think he ever was a bad person. Just a young person who was unfairly influenced," James cut in.

"I tried my best," Sirius countered.

"I know you did. But while you had the safe haven of Gryffindor, he didn't."

"He should have been in Ravenclaw," Sirius replied quietly. "He was super bright, but always quiet. Did you know he was a brilliant artist?"

"No," James replied, taking a small breath, allowing his friend to continue.

"Yeah, he could draw or paint anything, but our parents didn't like it. They thought it wasn't something a 'strong' person did. I tried to encourage him, but after I was sorted into Gryffindor and he saw what happened to me, he stopped. He was such a soft, gentle, almost fragile person and the family tore away at that," Sirius said in a lost, almost monotonous voice.

James swallowed tightly, as he pulled out the photo frame. "When I was in his room I found this," he said carefully, as he handed over the photo.

Despite his almost overwhelming emotions, Sirius found a smile as he took the photo and looked at it fondly. "Ha, I remember this! It was in the first summer holidays."

"Yeah?" James replied, trying to keep the tension from his voice.

"Yeah, Reggie had seen posters for a muggle funfair. He didn't know what it was, but the explosion of colours on the posters was enough to influence him. So, I got some money converted into muggle money and we went."

" _But mother and father?" An excited yet scared Regulus Black asked._

" _They're at a 'sacred twenty eight' dinner party, they won't be back until after midnight," Sirius replied, handing his brother some muggle clothes. "Here, wear these."_

" _Why?"_

" _Muggles don't tend to wear cloaks and robes. Wear these and no one will notice us."_

" _How do you know so much about muggles?"_

" _Andy?"_

" _But she's been disowned."_

" _Because she fell in love with a Muggle-born wizard. It's stupid."_

" _But Sirius, we're pure-bloods."_

" _I know, but I'm at Hogwarts and some of the brightest people are Muggle-born, whilst some of the most stupid are pure-bloods."_

" _But mother and father."_

" _Reggie, I don't know what to say apart from they are wrong. But come on. Let's forget about them for tonight. Let's fly!"_

" _Muggles can fly?"_

" _Yeah!" Sirius said enthusiastically. "They have made these things called planes. They can fly hundreds of muggles at one time all across the world."_

" _Wow!" Regulus replied, full of awe. "So muggles aren't stupid."_

" _Yes Reggie, muggles can't do magic like us but they perform their own magic," Sirius said with a smile. "They have radios like we do, but they also have televisions. They are kind of like our photos, but continuous and show plays etc. Reggie, please don't believe what mother and father say. I know being in Gryffindor has made it difficult for me but I don't regret it for a second. The hat looks at you but it also considers your thoughts."_

" _You're a Black. You are the heir to the title, but you've always been the brave one. That's why you're in Gryffindor," Regulus replied with a huge smile._

" _You're super bright."_

 _What if...?"_

" _What if you're sorted into Slytherin?"_

" _Yeah."_

" _Reggie, whatever house you are sorted into, even if it is Slytherin, you are still my brother. Obviously, I'd love you to be sorted into Gryffindor, but if you're not, Reggie I don't care. I may hate the Slytherins but I don't hate you."_

" _But Sirius?"_

" _The hat reads your mind but it also listens to you. Reggie, whether you follow mother and father or not, it's your choice. Obviously I would want you to follow me, but you are still my brother. You will always be my brother," Sirius reassured him with a smile. "Now let's get to that fair before Kreacher notices we are gone."_

"What was the fair like?" James asked.

"Bloody brilliant!" Sirius replied, grinning. "Seriously mate, when this is all over, you've got to take Harry to one. You'll both love it. It's the closest muggles get to Quidditch!"

"Yeah," James replied distantly, as he considered his friend's words. 'When this is all over', meaning when he was dead. He knew he should be happy knowing they wouldn't be at war, but he couldn't be. Not when he knew his friend would be dead. "So," he tried speaking but failed.

"So?" Sirius questioned, as he fiddled with the oven. "Well make yourself useful and open the beers would you?"

"So… in the back of the photo frame there was a letter," James started slowly, igroning the beers for a moment.

"A letter?" Sirius replied tensely, the edge returning to his voice.

"Yeah," James replied hesitantly, handing the letter over.

"And you read it?!" Sirius replied, his voice rising dangerously.

"Yeah."

"Can I ask why?"

"Because I thought it could be important and I thought you wouldn't read it."

"So, you thought you had the right to read a private letter from my brother!"

"Yeah, I did!" James retorted, taking a step front. "Yeah I did. Because I thought you bloody won't read it and we would missing out on the biggest chance we have of taking down Voldemort!"

"I can't fucking believe you. Fucking hell mate. You fucking crossed the line there."

"Okay, sure I may have but would you have read it?!"

"Piss off James!" Sirius growled dangerously, as he reached forward and snatched the letter off his friend.

"No!" James growled back, grabbing Sirius' arm. "When will you get it into your thick skull I am working with you, not against you!"

"It's fucking private James. Reggie, he's, he was a good person!"

"I know!" James yelled back. "Fucking listen to me Padfoot! I know Reggie was a good person. I know you don't deserve everything you could to help him. Just, just," he sighed, and ran a hand over his tired face. "Mate, just read the letter, please."

"Okay," Sirius replied tensely. He twirled the letter between his slightly trembling fingers. He caught his friend's eye for a moment, before turning on his heel and walking out the door. He sunk down against the wall and opened the letter. His eyes flickered over the words, tears glistened as he took the words in. If only. If only he had just reached out then maybe Reggie would still be alive. He rest his head on his knees for a moment. Taking a shaky breath, he stood and wandered back to the kitchen.

"James, I'm, well I'm sorry" Sirius said quietly.

"It's alright mate," James replied tiredly.

"It's just, well," Sirius started and then stopped. "Well you were right. If Reggie thought he found a horcrux."

"What's this place Reggie was talking about?" James asked as he carefully handed Sirius a beer.

"It's a cave in the South of France. We used to go there as children. The family have, or had a house down there."

"Do you want to go there?"

"Of course! If Reggie hid what he thought was a horcrux there, we have to try," Sirius replied slightly anxiously, his attention leaving the cooking pizzas as he turned serious for a moment. "Mate, when all of this is over, can you make sure people know what Reggie did. I don't want his sacrifice to be forgotten. I don't want him to be remembered for some stupid mistake he made when he was a scared, misguided sixteen year old."

"Of course mate, that goes without saying," James replied resolutely. "And-" he stopped, unable to continue, still unwilling to accept his friend's impending sacrifice. "I'll ensure no one's sacrifice is ever forgotten."

"Thank you," Sirius replied quietly, pulling his attention back to the oven. "I guess, shit I forgot to ask, are you feeling alright now?"

"Fine, well nothing a decent meal and sleep won't fix."

"Good, well. Well I was just wondering, well maybe it's too soon," Sirius said hesitantly as he quickly pulled the piping hot pizzas from the oven.

"I think we should go to France tomorrow," James replied, answering Sirius' unspoken question.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, let's destroy this thing before the bastard cotton's on to what we are doing," James replied, watching with mild fascination as Sirius cut the pizzas with his wand.

"Okay then, we go to France.

"To brothers," James said, raising his bottle.

"To brothers," Sirius repeated with a sad smile. He took a moment, before draining some of the amber liquid. Oh Reggie, why didn't you come to me, he thought. He fixed a look. Screw you Voldemort, I'm coming after you and I'm going to destroy you.


End file.
